Memoir Quotes

Books are a uniquely portable magic.

They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.

At the temple there is a poem called "Loss" carved into the stone. It has three words, but the poet has scratched them out. You cannot read loss, only feel it.

Others imply that they know what it is like to be depressed because they have gone through a divorce, lost a job, or broken up with someone. But these experiences carry with them feelings. Depression, instead, is flat, hollow, and unendurable. It is also tiresome. People cannot abide being around you when you are depressed. They might think that they ought to, and they might even try, but you know and they know that you are tedious beyond belief: you are irritable and paranoid and humorless and lifeless and critical and demanding and no reassurance is ever enough. You're frightened, and you're frightening, and you're "not at all like yourself but will be soon," but you know you won't.

Yesterday was surreal. At times K was almost back to herself…funny…interested and relatively mobile. She was tactile and we kissed…she whispered naughty comments into my ear…achingly beautiful…I love her so much

When a woman is assaulted, one of the first questions people ask is, Did you say no? This question assumes that the answer was always yes, and that it is her job to revoke the agreement. To defuse the bomb she was given. But why are they allowed to touch us until we physically fight them off? Why is the door open until we have to slam it shut?

I survived because I remained soft, because I listened, because I wrote. Because I huddled close to my truth, protected it like a tiny flame in a terrible storm. Hold up your head when the tears come, when you are mocked, insulted, questioned, threatened, when they tell you you are nothing, when your body is reduced to openings. The journey will be longer than you imagined, trauma will find you again and again. Do not become the ones who hurt you. Stay tender with your power. Never fight to injure, fight to uplift. Fight because you know that in this life, you deserve safety, joy, and freedom. Fight because it is your life. Not anyone else’s. I did it, I am here. Looking back, all the ones who doubted or hurt or nearly conquered me faded away, and I am the only one standing. So now, the time has come. I dust myself off, and go on.

It's in those quiet little towns, at the edge of the world, that you will find the salt of the earth people who make you feel right at home.

لايموت الانسان في السجن من الجوع أو من الحر او البرد أو الضرب أو الامراض أو الحشرات . لكنه قد يموت من الانتظار الانتظار يحول الزمن الى اللازمن ، والشئ الى اللاشئ ، والمعنى الى اللامعنى

You’d think the earth would long ago surrender but instead she flowers, rising from her meager dirt to fill the sky with color.  

Know your worth, girls. You’re not lucky to be at the party; the party is lucky to have you. Apply as needed to relationships, jobs, and family.

There are so many young women who need to hear this story. I don't want them to learn from my mistakes; I want them to stop hating themselves for mistakes of their own. I want them to laugh and see that they do have a voice and their own brand of intelligence and, girl, fuck fitting in.

I encourage anyone who has gone through hardships to look back through their life’s chapters and see what can be turned into a book. For you never know what heartache God, one day, can turn into a redemptive story.

Here’s what I believe: Your reality is totally up for grabs; if you don’t create your own life, someone else will create something based on their own agenda and project that on you. Don’t let them do it, my loves. Don’t let them tell you that their something is bigger than your everything.

1) Write a list of things you are grateful for 2) Get your head out of your ass and take a walk outside 3) If you don’t have an eating disorder, get some good fucking chocolate and a strong cup of coffee.

Untamed fear consumes you, becomes you, until what you are most afraid of turns alive.

instructions on how to get out of a funk: “1) Write a list of things you are grateful for 2) Get your head out of your ass and take a walk outside 3) If you don’t have an eating disorder, get some good fucking chocolate and a strong cup of coffee.

And when it comes to self-harm, I think the reason it's become an issue specifically within my generation is because we've neglected to emphasize the importance of mental health. A lot of people hold the view that self-harming is an attention-seeking behavior, and it's presented in a way that tries to turn it against the person suffering. I've always found that strange, because it's an argument that falls apart instantly. When I was struggling with self-harming, what attention was I seeking? I certainly wasn't looking to be praised for what I was doing, so what was I seeking? Help? Recognition of my suffering? Because no one seemed to take my mental health seriously, I felt pushed to translate it into something visible, for the sole reason that we place greater emphasis on physical pain. And I had to prove it to myself, too. Like I needed to be a witness to my own pain, to see that it was real— that it wasn't all in my head. In the midst of my self-harming, when people around me got wind of what was happening, they all seemed to realize: Oh, wow, this is worse than we thought. It was a big catalyst for getting me the help I needed. But I remembered how no one took action when my suffering was only mental. I only wish that we would try to be better at taking the mental health of young adults seriously before they have to reach a crisis point-before they feel the need to do something so drastic in order for their pain to be believed. In the same way, I say that when a flower doesn't grow, we don't blame the flower but rather look to its surroundings. I believe that there are bigger factors at play when it comes to my generation's struggle with mental illness. (Page 92)

I used to think healing meant ridding the body and the heart of anything that hurt. It meant putting your pain behind you, leaving it in the past. But I'm learning that's not how it works. Healing is figuring out how to coexist with the pain that will always live inside of you, without pretending it isn't there or allowing it to hijack your day. It is learning to confront ghosts and to carry what lingers. It is learning to embrace the people I love now instead of protecting against a future in which I am gutted by their loss. Katherine's experience and her insight sit with me. She went through something she thought she could never survive and yet here she is, surviving. "You have to shift from the gloom and doom and focus instead on what you love," she told me before bed. "That's all you can do in the face of these things. Love the people around you. Love the life you have. I can't think of a more powerful response to life's sorrows than loving.

My chest constricts tighter and tighter. I want to be released from what won't let me go. I want uncomplicated joy. But I see now that, without realizing it, I've been waiting for permission -- from Melissa, from Will, from all the people who have disappeared from my life before a sense of closure could be reached. I want their blessings to fall in love again, to dream a new future, to move forward. I keep waiting for some kind of sign, or reassurance that it's okay to go entire days without thinking of them -- that it's necessary to forget a little if I am going to live. No matter how many apologies, acts of contrition, or sacrifices I offer up, I'm realizing I need to accept that things may never feel fully resolved -- with the living or the dead.

It never matters how we begin. Only that we do. The only thing that matters is that we have the courage to embark on the journey ahead, to the places our hearts call us to go. Even if it means wounding another to be true to ourselves. The most painful of endings can be the most beautiful of beginnings. Sometimes heartbreak is actually a homecoming. Sometimes we have to ask what we would want for the people we love to discover what we also deserve. Sometimes we have to follow our hearts, wherever they lead, regardless of the cost.

This is not the sad tale of a failed marriage, or the tragic saga of a helicopter that fell out of the sky and stole precious people away. It’s the story of how I came to be. How I was able to love and forgive and heal from the inside out to create a wild and beautiful life where I am free. The process of revisiting and reconciling has been terrifying and transformative, rage-inducing and revolutionary. Through it all, the truth has been laid bare to honor the moments where I was reborn. Once I ventured into the Elysian Fields of my own truth and power, there was no returning to a world so small that it no longer contained my expansion. This wasn’t just any journey, it was the journey, the most important one I could ever take.