Mayo Bowl Quotes

~Posters with torn edges hanging from rotten walls~ The doctor told me something once she said STOP DRINKING I slapped her across the face with this NO I walked right out of that office went right down to the hole I told the bartender WHISKEY, MOTHERFUCKER he poured and he poured and I slapped my money down on that bar the man I had been driving around with he just sort of sat there next to this hooker she probably had something rotten way down there between her legs her eyes told of no soul I emptied the bottle down my throat and ordered some chips the bartender told me THEY'RE STALE and I give him a I DON'T FUCKIN' CARE, GIVE ME SOMETHIN' He slid me a ham sandwich dripping with cheap low-fat mayo and said ENJOY I went back to my room and talked all night so much conversation it turned the toilet bowl pale

Okonomiyaki, meanwhile, is to American pancakes what Japanese wrestling is to American wrestling. The basic batter contains flour and water, grated nagaimo (that big slimy yam again), eggs, and diced cabbage. You then augment this base by ordering little bits and nibbles a la carte to be added to the batter. We could not figure out the ordering system, but we listed off ingredients we liked and ended up with two pancakes' worth of batter teeming with squid, octopus, sliced negi, and pickled ginger. The waiter dropped off a big bowl of unmixed pancake fixings and a couple of spatulas and assumed we would know how to do the rest. Every time we did something wrong, he sucked in his breath (a very common sound in Japan, at least in my presence) and intervened. Every time we did something right, he gave the thumbs-up and a Fonzie-like grunt of approval. Now that I've cooked two okonomiyaki and am certified by the Vera Okonomiyaki Napoletana Association, I can tell you how it's done. If your okonomiyaki has a large featured ingredient like strips of pork belly, set it aside to go on top; don't mix it in. Stir everything else together really well. Pour some oil onto the griddle and smooth it out into a thin film with a spatula. Dump the batter onto the griddle and shape it into a pancake about 1/2 to 3/4 inch thick. If you have pork strips, lay them over the top now like you're making bacon-wrapped meatloaf. Now wait. And wait. And wait. If little bits of egg seep out around the edge of your pancake, coax them back in. It takes at least five minutes to cook the first side of an okonomiyaki. Maybe ten. Maybe thirty. If you're not hungry enough to drink a tureen of raw batter, it's not ready. Finally, when it's brown on the bottom, slide two spatulas underneath and flip with confidence. Now wait again. When the center is set and the meat is crispy, cut it into wedges and serve with okonomiyaki sauce, mayo, nori, and fish flakes. If you haven't had okonomiyaki sauce, it's a lot like takoyaki sauce. Sorry, just kidding around. It's a lot like tonkatsu sauce.

Swееt Pоtаtо Hаѕh • 1 large ѕwееt роtаtо, peeled аnd dісеd • 1 red bell рерреr, diced • 1/2 rеd onion, dісеd • 2 tbѕр оlіvе оіl • 1/2 tѕр salt • 1/4 tsp blасk рерреr • 1/4 tѕр paprika • 1/4 tѕр gаrlіс powder • 2 eggs Inѕtruсtіоnѕ: 1. Preheat thе оvеn to 400°F. 2. In a mіxіng bowl, соmbіnе thе ѕwееt potato, rеd bеll рерреr, rеd onion, оlіvе oil, ѕаlt, blасk рерреr, рарrіkа, and garlic powder. 3. Sрrеаd thе mіxturе in a ѕіnglе lауеr оn a baking sheet аnd bаkе fоr 25-30 mіnutеѕ, ѕtіrrіng occasionally, untіl thе ѕwееt роtаtоеѕ are tеndеr аnd browned. 4. Crасk the еggѕ on top оf thе sweet роtаtо hash and rеturn tо thе oven for аn аddіtіоnаl 5-7 mіnutеѕ until thе еggѕ аrе ѕеt. Makes 2 ѕеrvіngѕ. Nutrіtіоnаl information реr ѕеrvіng: 308 саlоrіеѕ, 8g рrоtеіn, 29g саrbоhуdrаtеѕ, 19g fаt, 5g fiber.

Sсrаmblеd Eggѕ wіth Spinach аnd Fеtа Chееѕе • 2 lаrgе eggs • 1/2 сuр bаbу ѕріnасh • 1 оz crumbled feta сhееѕе • 1 tbѕр оlіvе оіl • Sаlt аnd рерреr, tо taste • Sеrvеѕ 1 • Nutrіtіоnаl Infоrmаtіоn: 240 calories, 16g protein, 19g fаt, 2g carbohydrates, 1g fіbеr Instructions: In a ѕmаll bowl, whіѕk tоgеthеr thе еggѕ with ѕаlt and рерреr. Heat the оlіvе oil іn a nоnѕtісk ѕkіllеt оvеr medium hеаt. Add thе ѕріnасh аnd сооk untіl wіltеd. Pоur in the eggs аnd stir until ѕсrаmblеd. Sрrіnklе thе fеtа cheese оvеr the eggs аnd ѕеrvе

that goes a lot further than the number of food bowls, litter boxes, outdoor gardens, or minutes of daily one on one time.

TINY CRAB CAKES 1 egg 1½ cups fresh breadcrumbs (see Note) ¼ cup finely chopped scallions (2–3 scallions) 1 tablespoon mayonnaise 1 teaspoon lemon juice (juice of about ⅙ medium lemon) ½ teaspoon Worcestershire sauce ¼ teaspoon seafood seasoning mix, such as Old Bay 8 ounces fresh lump-style crabmeat, picked over 2–3 tablespoons vegetable oil Scallion brushes for garnish (optional; see page 19) MAKES ABOUT 24 MINI CAKES (4–6 SERVINGS) 1. To make the Curry-Orange Mayo, whisk together the mayonnaise, curry powder, orange zest, orange juice, and Tabasco in a small bowl. Refrigerate for at least 2 hours or up to 3 days. When ready to serve, transfer to a pretty bowl and sprinkle with the scallions. 2. To make the crab cakes, lightly beat the egg in a large bowl. Add ¾ cup of the breadcrumbs, the scallions, mayonnaise, lemon juice, Worcestershire sauce, and seasoning mix. Stir well to blend. Add the crabmeat and mix gently, being careful not to shred the crabmeat entirely. 3. Spread the remaining ¾ cup of breadcrumbs onto a plate. Form the crab mixture into 24 cakes, using a scant tablespoon for each one, and dredge lightly in the crumbs. Arrange on a wax paper-lined baking sheet. 4. Heat 2 tablespoons of the oil in one or two large skillets over medium heat. Cook the cakes until golden brown and crisp on one side, about 2 to 2½ minutes. Flip and repeat. The cakes should be hot inside. Repeat with any remaining cakes, adding more oil as necessary. Serve immediately, or place on a foil-lined baking sheet, wrap well, and refrigerate for up to 24 hours, or freeze for up to 2 weeks. 5. If you make the cakes ahead, remove from the refrigerator or freezer 30 minutes prior to reheating. Preheat the oven to 375°F. Bake the cakes until hot and crisp, 10 to 15 minutes. 6. Arrange on a platter with the sauce for dipping, and garnish with the scallion brushes, if desired. Note: Tear 3 slices of good-quality bread into pieces and whir in a food processor to make breadcrumbs. Portland Public Market The Portland Public Market, which opened in 1998, continues Maine’s long tradition of downtown public markets, dating back to the 19th century. Housed in an award-winning brick, glass, and wood structure, the market, which was the brainchild of Maine philanthropist Elizabeth Noyce, is a food-lover’s heaven. Vendors include organic produce farms; butchers selling locally raised meat; purveyors of Maine-made cheeses, sausages, and smoked seafood; artisan bakers; and flower sellers. Prepared take-away food includes Mexican delicacies, pizza, soups, smoothies, and sandwiches, and such well-known Portland culinary stars as Sam Hayward (see page 127) and Dana Street (see page 129) have opened casual dining concessions.

Healthy Waldorf Salad Waldorf salad is just one of those recipes that consistently amazes. It’s a great culinary invention and is one of my favorite dishes. It is simple yet it can easily become the best part about a meal. There are many different varieties and ways to customize, all of which are awesome. This recipe cuts out some of the fat, oil, and calories used in other recipes. Instead of using heavy cream and mayo, it uses yogurt and lemon juice. Feel free to customize, however you wish. Ingredients – - 1/4 cup of Yogurt - 1 Tablespoon of Fresh Lemon Juice - 1/2 teaspoon of Salt - 1/2 teaspoon of Pepper - Around 2 cups of Apple or roughly one large Apple, cored and cut into bite size pieces - 1/2 cup of Celery, thinly sliced - 1/2 cup of Grapes, halfed - 1/2 cup of Walnuts, chopped - 3/4 cup of Lettuce - 2 teaspoons of Honey Directions- In a large bowl, whisk together Yogurt and Fresh Lemon Juice. Stir in Salt and Pepper. Mix in Apple, Celery, and Grapes. Toast the Walnuts. Mix in Walnuts and Lettuce. Top salad with Honey. Serve.

1 cup Basic Mayonnaise ¼ cup coconut cream 2 tablespoons red wine vinegar 1 tablespoon minced fresh parsley ½ teaspoon garlic powder ½ teaspoon onion powder ½ teaspoon black pepper ¼ teaspoon paprika This thick and creamy, kid-approved ranch is great for basting chicken, fish, or pork; makes a great dipping sauce for raw vegetables; and is perfect on a fresh green salad. Whisk together the mayo, coconut cream, and vinegar in a small bowl. Add the parsley, garlic powder, onion powder, pepper, and paprika and stir until thoroughly combined. This dressing will keep in the refrigerator for 2 to 3 days. ✪Super Snack Prep our Buffalo Sauce, whip up our hot wings, cut up some carrot sticks and celery, and serve with the Ranch Dressing, and you’ve got yourself the perfect sports-watching, New Year–celebrating, or housewarming appetizer.

2 boneless, skinless chicken breasts (8 ounces each) 2 cups low-fat (1%) buttermilk 1½ teaspoons plus ⅛ teaspoon kosher salt Freshly ground black pepper 2 teaspoons red wine vinegar 2 teaspoons olive oil 1 teaspoon Dijon mustard ¼ small red onion, thinly sliced 1¾ cups thinly sliced green cabbage 1 fresh jalapeño pepper, seeded and thinly sliced 2 tablespoons finely chopped fresh parsley 1 cup panko bread crumbs, regular or gluten-free ½ teaspoon cayenne pepper Olive oil spray (I like my Misto or Bertolli) 4 tablespoons light mayonnaise 4 potato rolls, whole wheat (I like Martin’s) or gluten-free Pound out the thicker end of the chicken breasts so that they are evenly thick (about ½ inch). Cut each breast in half so you have 4 thick pieces. In a medium bowl, whisk together the buttermilk, 1 teaspoon of the salt, and pepper to taste. Add the chicken and turn to coat. Cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate for at least 1 hour. When ready to cook, in a large bowl, whisk together the vinegar, olive oil, mustard, ⅛ teaspoon of the salt, and pepper to taste. Add the onion, cabbage, jalapeño, and parsley and toss to combine. Cover and refrigerate until ready to assemble the sandwiches. Preheat an air fryer to 375°F. In a shallow bowl, combine the panko, cayenne, remaining ½ teaspoon salt, and black pepper to taste. Dredge the chicken in the panko mixture, shaking off any excess. Place 2 pieces of the coated chicken in the air fryer basket in a single layer and spray the tops with oil. Cook the chicken for 14 to 16 minutes (depending on the thickness), turning halfway. Spray the other side with oil and cook until golden and cooked through (a thermometer inserted in the thickest part of the breast should read 165°F). Repeat with the remaining 2 pieces of chicken. To assemble the sandwiches, spread the mayo on the bottoms of the rolls. Top with the chicken, then pile ½ cup of the slaw on the chicken. Put the tops of the rolls on the slaw and serve.

Serves 2 Prep Time: 10 minutes 1 avocado, pitted and peeled 2 cans (5 ounces each) tuna, drained 3 green onions, thinly sliced Juice of 1½ limes ½ jalapeño, minced 1 tablespoon minced fresh cilantro ½ teaspoon chili powder ½ teaspoon salt ⅛ teaspoon black pepper 1 head endive, separated into leaves This dish makes for the perfect lunch—just pack up your tuna in a glass container and wrap your leaves in a slightly damp paper towel inside a resealable bag to keep them crisp. Or, stuff the tuna salad inside a romaine lettuce leaf, hollowed-out bell pepper, tomato, or cucumber cups. This dish would also work with canned chicken or salmon and would taste amazing with a drizzle of cool Ranch Dressing or Avocado Mayo. In a medium sized bowl, mash the avocado with a fork, leaving it slightly chunky. Add the tuna to the bowl, flaking it apart with a fork, and mix to combine with the avocado. Add the onions, juice of 1 lime, jalapeño, cilantro, chili powder, salt, and pepper and mix well.

Black Bean and Sweet Potato Burgers This crowd-pleaser is sure to gain you some new fans. Double or triple the recipe and use in your weekly meal prep. (They freeze well, too! Fully thaw in the fridge then pop in the air fryer to cook.) Serve on whole wheat buns with lettuce, thick-cut tomato, and avocado. Top with a healthier Sriracha mayo using equal parts Greek yogurt and mayo, adding a little Sriracha to taste. MAKES 4 BURGERS Ingredients: 1 cup mashed cooked sweet potato 1 cup cooked brown rice ¾ cup rinsed-and-drained canned black beans (about ½ the can) 2 tablespoons taco seasoning Pantry items: Cooking spray Directions: Preheat the air fryer to 360°F for 5 minutes. In a medium bowl, mix together the sweet potato, rice, beans, and taco seasoning until well combined. Divide the mixture into 4 equal portions and form into patties, about 4 inches wide. Lightly coat with cooking spray and place 2 patties in the fry basket. Cook for 7 minutes. Flip and cook until firm to the touch and browned, 5–7 minutes more. Repeat for the remaining 2 patties.