Mating With Mallows Quotes

I hesitantly reached for a variety pack of bunnies. Four vibrant, differently-colored little creatures stared back at me with malice in their souls. I hid the package beneath my frozen lasagna to gain some reprieve, checked out, and drove home—the weight of the marshmallows in my bag dragging me down to hell.

You know, they taste even better if you microwave them. Did you eat them straight from the package last time?” Anthony asked with a knowing grin.

Four vibrant, differently-colored little creatures stared back at me with malice in their souls.

Surely, it was the most harmless color, right? I had always been a sucker for a good hot pink.

There, in the middle of my kitchen, stood two hulking marshmallows. No—to call them marshmallows would be an understatement. These hunks were anything but mere mallows.

Somehow, in coming to life, they had completely transformed. Gone were the objects of my lifelong hatred. And instead, before me stood the creatures of my dreams.

I must have been losing my goddamned mind, but I followed on autopilot until I stopped in front of the shelf which was certain to be my doom.

The two cocks in either end of me pinning me in place like a rotisserie chicken.

As they stared at me with their beady little eyes from their shrink-wrapped packaging which barely contained their edible, neon glitter-bomb bodies, I could feel their evil presence. I could taste the sickly-sweet cream within, which no hot chocolate could disguise.

I gasped between hitched breaths, and the mallows seemed to know exactly what to do, a choreographed Dance of the Sugar Plum Dicks.

I almost laughed at the absurdity of it. Just hours before, I hadn’t wanted to look at them, yet here I was, dying for a peek at their candied abs.

It would be like licking an ice cream cone into oblivion but so much sweeter.

There, from the shelves, they taunted me. I could never fully escape them, and a small niggling in the back of my mind urged me down there—steered my cart in their direction.

I saw the error of my ways. One bad experience in my past didn’t have to taint my future. I could be more than the sum of other people’s mistakes. I could grow and learn and start anew.

As they stared at me with their beady little eyes from their shrink-wrapped packaging which barely contained their edible, neon glitter-bomb bodies, I could feel their evil presence.

I hesitantly reached for a variety pack of bunnies. Four vibrant, differently-colored little creatures stared back at me with malice in their souls.

Standing at least six feet tall—not including the ears—dripping with muscles, coated in a fine dusting of neon sugar, were two incredibly sexy marshmallow bunny men.

a choreographed Dance of the Sugar Plum Dicks,

I had never been so full of marshmallow in my life, and something told me that this was just the beginning of this feeling.

I had just fucked two living marshmallow men—the embodiments of everything I had stood to hate for a few decades—and it had changed my life.

These hunks were anything but mere mallows.

I would have to microwave the rest of the pack tomorrow.

The marshmallow men stilled, quieting as I swallowed the remnants of Blue on the back of my tongue, letting it linger before fully accepting his fluffernut into me.

To say I licked him like a lollipop seemed inappropriate in this context because he was so much more.