Matched Xander Quotes

I came up on the screen, too, Cassia. But he was the one you chose to see.

When we fall in love the first time, we don’t know anything. We risk a lot less than we do if we choose to love again. (Xander)

Being with Ky, being with Xander -both things feel like standing in the light. Different types of light, but neither feels dark.

I'm falling in love. I am in love. and it's not with Xander, though I do love him. I'm sure of that, as sure as I am of the fact what I feel for Ky is something different.

It’s not exactly easy to save things for the future when the present is so uncertain. (Xander)

I know you love me. I love you, I always will, but things can't hold like this. They have to break. You say you don't mind, that you will wait for me, but I think that you do mind, and you should. Because we've done too much waiting in our lives, Xander. Don't wait for me anymore. I hope for love for you. I hope for this more than anything else, maybe even more than my own happiness. And in a way, perhaps that means I love Xander best of all.

...but suddenly I hope Xander's right. I hope part of me fell in love with Ky before anyone else told me to.

We do not kiss. We do nothing but hold on and breathe, but still I know. I cannot go gently now. Not even for the sake of my parents, my family. Not even for Xander.

Then Xander whispers, "Cassia... if we could choose, would you ever have chosen me?

It's good to know that Xander's here. So that when I go down, she won't be alone. "You walked through the Carving to find me," I tell Cassia softly. "I'm going to walk through this to reach you.

Because if you can't dream you can't pretend that he's still there

Right then I knew we were feeling the same thing. I knew we loved Cassia, if not exactly the same way, then the same amount. And the amount was: completely.

Don't wait for me anymore. I hope for love for you. I hope for this more than anything else, maybe even more than my own happiness. And in a way, perhaps that means I love Xander best of all.

She bends down to kiss him, and his trembling hand reaches for hers, but he can't move it far enough yet. So I lift up his hand and put it on hers. I help him to reach her. For a moment, I'm part of it all. Then I'm just apart.

Much as I love looking at the stars, I never learned to guide by them. I mark my course by people; Xander, a point in the map, my parents, another point; Ky, the final destination. When Xander moves, the geography of everything changes.

Reaching and reached. Cassia

it's Ky's move. In the quiet before the Ky takes his turn, Xander watches him carefully. Ky's hand hovers over the board. For a moment, as he holds the piece in the air, I see where he could put it to win and I know he sees it, too, that he planned the whole game for that last move. He looks at Xander and Xander looks back, both of them locked in some kind of challenge that seems to run deeper and older than what's happening here on this board. Then Ky moves his hand and puts his piece down in a spot where Xander can eventually overtake him for the win. Ky doesn't hessitate once he places the piece; he sets it down with a solid sound and leans back in his chair, looking up at the ceiling. I think I see the slightest hint of a smile on his lips but I can't be sure.

Thank you," I tell Xander. "I didn't get anything for you -" "It's all right," he says, "but maybe - you could -" He looks into my eyes and I know what he wants. A kiss. Even thought he knows about Ky. Xander and I are still connected; this is still good-bye. I know already that that kiss would be sweet. It would be what he would hold on to, as I hold on to Ky's. But that's something I don't think I can give. "Xander -" "It's all right," he was, and then he stands up. I do too, and he reaches for me, pulls me close.

I wouldn't have seen the light if she hadn't pointed out, but once sje did, it became impossible to ignore.

What did you think about?" I wish I could tell him that I thought about him, but I lied to him once and I won't do it again. And besides, I wasn't thinking about Xander either. "I thought about angels," I say. "Angels?" "You know. The ones in the old stories. How they can fly to heaven." "Do you think anyone believes in them anymore?" He asks. "I don't know. No. Do you?" "I believe in you," he says, his voice hushed and almost reverent. "That's more faith than I ever thought I'd have.

I should be with Ky in the infirmary. i should be with Xander in prinson. I should be sorting for a cure. can only try to do all three and hope these pieces of myself are enough to find something that can make me whole

If I’m talking to patients who can’t answer, why not talk to the port, too? (Xander Markham)

The way the two of them look at each other is like touching.

Xander is my Match and my oldest friend and one of the best people I know. When I kissed him, it was sweet. I'm drawn to him and tied to him with the cords of a thousand different memories

But I didn't see it. I believed him unchanging, a stone in all good senses of the word, solid, dependable, something and someone you could build upon. But he is as we all are: light as air, transient as wisps of cloud before the sun, beautiful and fleeting, and if I ever did truly have hold of him, that has ended now.

And out of nowhere, I think: So this is how it feels to stand at the edge of a canyon.

I wanted Cassia to choose me. In some ways, our being Matched is the biggest strike against me. How was she supposed to love me when the Society said she should?

When we fall in love for the first time we don't know anything. We risk a lot less than we so if we choose to love again. There is something extraordinary about the first time falling.

What if they all left? What if everyone else flew to the Otherlands or went still and I was here alone? Would I keep going? I would. I can't seem to treat this life I have as anything but the only thing.

It feels good to be with Xander, in a different way than it feels good to be with Ky. Still. Being with Ky, being with Xander- both things feel like standing in the light. Different types of light, but neither feels dark.

There is something extraordinary about the first time falling. But it feels even better to find myself standing on solid ground, with someone holding on to me, pulling me back, and know that I'm doing the same for her" -Xander, 'Reached

That’s the thing,” she whispered. “The house was soaked in accelerant. The gas was turned on—but no one ever lit a match. There was a lightning storm that night. Toby might well have been planning to burn down the house from a safe distance. The others might have helped him. But none of them actually set the fire.” “Lightning,” Xander said, horrified. “If the gas was already on, if they’d soaked the floorboards in accelerant…

Sé que me quieres. Yo te quiero, y siempre te querré, pero no podemos seguir así. Esta situación debe terminar. Tú dices que no te importa, que me esperarás, pero yo creo que te importa, y debería hacerlo. Porque ya hemos esperado demasiado en la vida, Xander. No me esperes más. Te deseo todo el amor de mundo. Lo deseo más que ninguna otra cosa, quizá incluso más que mi propia felicidad. Y, en cierto sentido, eso quizá signifique que quiero a Xander más que a nadie.

She stands on top of the hill again. A small round piece of gold in her hands: the compass. A disk of brighter gold on the horizon: the sun rising. She opens the compass and looks at the arrow. Tears on her face, wind in her hair. She wears a green dress. Her skirt brushes the grass when she bends down to put the compass on the ground. When she stands up again her hands are empty. Xander waits behind her. He holds out his hand. “He’s gone,” he tells her. “I’m here.” His voice sounds sad. Hopeful. No, I start to say, but Xander tells the truth. I’m not there, not really. I’m only a shadow watching in the sky. They’re real. I’m not anymore.

I mark my course by people: Xander, a point on the map; my parents, another point; Ky, the final destination. When Xander moves, the geography of everything changes.

You lied about Xander's secret, didn't you? What is it?" "I can't tell you." "Why not?" "It's not mine to tell," I say. "It's his." It's not just selfishness that keeps me from telling Cassia Xander's secret. I know he wanted to tell her himself. I owe him that. He knew my secret- my status as an Aberration- and never told anyone. Not even Cassia. This isn't a game. He's not my opponent and Cassia's not a prize.

Tell me why," she says. "Why would you want to lie to me? Why would you take a choice from me?" Her gaze has softened and she's looking at me as Ky again- the person she loves- and somehow that's even worse. All the reasons I lied run through my head: because I can't lose you, because I was jealous, because I don't trust anyone, because I can't even trust myself, because, because, because. "You know why," I say, anger flaring in me suddenly. At everything. Everyone. The Society, the Rising, my father, myself, Indie, Xander, Cassia. "No, I don't," she beings, but I don't let her finish. "Fear," I say, holding her gaze. "We were both afraid. I was afraid of losing you. You were afraid, back in the Borough. When you took my choice away from me.

I imagine these drops of rain hitting the scales of the sandstone fish I carved for Vick. Every drop helps the poisoned stream, I think, holding my hands out open wide. Not catching the drops or trying to hold them. I'm letting them leave their mark and then letting them go. Let go. Of my parents, and the pain of what happened to them. Of what I failed to do. Of all the people I failed to save or bury. Of my jealously of Xander. Of my guilt over what happened to Vick. Of worrying about what I can never be and who I never was in the first place. Let go of it all.

Even if Xander gets his vocation first, we’re still Matched,

Xander, that's nothing but a glorified work project. They want some free labor and they're bribing us with ice cream.

And in a way, perhaps that means I love Xander best of all.

Away from the Society, from Xander, from my family, from the life I knew. Away from the boy who led us here, from the light that creeps across this land, turning the sky blue and the stone red, the light that could get us killed.

The tiny feeling of loss deep within my heart surprises me. My peers will spend the next few days swooning over pictures of their Matches, bragging about them during meal hours at school, waiting for more and more bits of information to be revealed. Anticipating their first meeting, their second meeting, and so on. That mystery does not exist for Xander and me. I won't wonder what he is like or daydream about our first meeting.

I failed him because I cannot do for him what Ky does for me. I can't help Xander sing.

And I feel a heavy, low, longing note of regret. For in the end, I didn't fail him because I didn't love him back, because I do love him back. I failed him because I cannot do for him what Ky does for me. I can't help Xander sing.

Even though Xander is gone, even though all cannot be as everyone would wish, there is satisfaction knowing that something good and right and true was a part of you. That you had the blessing, gift, good fortune, perfect luck, to know someone like this, to pass through fire and water and stone and sky together and emerge, all of you, strong enough to hold on, strong enough to let go. I can already feel some things slipping through my fingers like sand and water, like artifacts and poems, like everything you want to hold on to but can't

So I have to wish for the end of the world as I know it?” Xander asks, another hint of his old laugh in his voice. “Not the end of the world. For the beginning of a better one,

I fly toward Ky and away from Xander and into what is Outer, different.

In a story, you can turn to the front and begin again and everyone lives once more. That doesn’t work in real life. And I love my real people the most. Bram. My mother. My father. Ky. Xander. Can

But Ky’s not your Match,” Xander says. “He can’t be, because—” “Because why?” I ask. Does Xander know about Ky’s status after all? How? “Because I am,” Xander says.