β
I can believe things that are true and things that aren't true and I can believe things where nobody knows if they're true or not.
I can believe in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny and the Beatles and Marilyn Monroe and Elvis and Mister Ed. Listen - I believe that people are perfectable, that knowledge is infinite, that the world is run by secret banking cartels and is visited by aliens on a regular basis, nice ones that look like wrinkled lemurs and bad ones who mutilate cattle and want our water and our women.
I believe that the future sucks and I believe that the future rocks and I believe that one day White Buffalo Woman is going to come back and kick everyone's ass. I believe that all men are just overgrown boys with deep problems communicating and that the decline in good sex in America is coincident with the decline in drive-in movie theaters from state to state.
I believe that all politicians are unprincipled crooks and I still believe that they are better than the alternative. I believe that California is going to sink into the sea when the big one comes, while Florida is going to dissolve into madness and alligators and toxic waste.
I believe that antibacterial soap is destroying our resistance to dirt and disease so that one day we'll all be wiped out by the common cold like martians in War of the Worlds.
I believe that the greatest poets of the last century were Edith Sitwell and Don Marquis, that jade is dried dragon sperm, and that thousands of years ago in a former life I was a one-armed Siberian shaman.
I believe that mankind's destiny lies in the stars. I believe that candy really did taste better when I was a kid, that it's aerodynamically impossible for a bumble bee to fly, that light is a wave and a particle, that there's a cat in a box somewhere who's alive and dead at the same time (although if they don't ever open the box to feed it it'll eventually just be two different kinds of dead), and that there are stars in the universe billions of years older than the universe itself.
I believe in a personal god who cares about me and worries and oversees everything I do. I believe in an impersonal god who set the universe in motion and went off to hang with her girlfriends and doesn't even know that I'm alive. I believe in an empty and godless universe of causal chaos, background noise, and sheer blind luck.
I believe that anyone who says sex is overrated just hasn't done it properly. I believe that anyone who claims to know what's going on will lie about the little things too.
I believe in absolute honesty and sensible social lies. I believe in a woman's right to choose, a baby's right to live, that while all human life is sacred there's nothing wrong with the death penalty if you can trust the legal system implicitly, and that no one but a moron would ever trust the legal system.
I believe that life is a game, that life is a cruel joke, and that life is what happens when you're alive and that you might as well lie back and enjoy it.
β
β
Neil Gaiman (American Gods (American Gods, #1))
β
Either kill me or take me as I am, because I'll be damned if I ever change.
β
β
Marquis de Sade
β
My manner of thinking, so you say, cannot be approved. Do you suppose I care? A poor fool indeed is he who adopts a manner of thinking for others!
β
β
Marquis de Sade
β
Oscar Wilde was suing the Marquis of Queensbury in 1895 for libel accusing Wilde of homosexuality
Counsel: Have you ever adored a young man madly?
Wilde: I have never given adoration to anyone except myself.
β
β
Oscar Wilde
β
James - "Are you paying attention or just trying to make me look like an idoit?"
Elizabeth - "Oh, I'm definately paying attention. If you look like an idiot it has nothing to do with me.
β
β
Julia Quinn (How to Marry a Marquis (Agents of the Crown, #2))
β
In order to know virtue, we must first acquaint ourselves with vice.
β
β
Marquis de Sade
β
I have observed, indeed, generally, that while in protestant countries the defections from the Platonic Christianity of the priests is to Deism, in catholic countries they are to Atheism. Diderot, D'Alembert, DβHolbach, Condorcet, are known to have been among the most virtuous of men. Their virtue, then, must have had some other foundation than the love of God.
[Letter to Thomas Law, 13 June 1814]
β
β
Thomas Jefferson (Letters of Thomas Jefferson)
β
It is only by way of pain one arrives at pleasure
β
β
Marquis de Sade
β
Fuck! Is one expected to be a gentleman when one is stiff?
β
β
Marquis de Sade
β
We are no guiltier in following the primative impulses that govern us than is the Nile for her floods or the sea for her waves.
β
β
Marquis de Sade (Aline et Valcour)
β
If it is the dirty element that gives pleasure to the act of lust, then the dirtier it is, the more pleasurable it is bound to be.
β
β
Marquis de Sade (The 120 Days of Sodom)
β
Sexual pleasure is, I agree, a passion to which all others are subordinate but in which they all unite.
β
β
Marquis de Sade (The 120 Days of Sodom and Other Writings)
β
To judge from the notions expounded by theologians, one must conclude that God created most men simply with a view to crowding hell.
β
β
Marquis de Sade
β
When I started writing
I was a sick teenaged
fuck inside who partly
thought I was the new
Marquis de Sade, a body
doomed to communicate
with Satan who was us-
ing my sickness as his
home away from home,
and thereβs your proof.
β
β
Dennis Cooper
β
If you make people think they're thinking, they'll love you; But if you really make them think, they'll hate you.
β
β
Don Marquis
β
He..." Richard began. "The marquis. Well, you know, to be honest, he seems a little bit dodgy to me."
Door stopped. The steps dead-ended in a rough brick wall. "Mm," she agreed. "He's a little bit dodgy in the same way that rats are a little bit covered in fur.
β
β
Neil Gaiman (Neverwhere (London Below, #1))
β
The man who alters his way of thinking to suit others is a fool.
β
β
Marquis de Sade (Justine, Philosophy in the Bedroom, and Other Writings)
β
What does one want when one is engaged in the sexual act? That everything around you give you its utter attention, think only of you, care only for you...every man wants to be a tyrant when he fornicates.
β
β
Marquis de Sade (Philosophy in the Boudoir)
β
Lust is to the other passions what the nervous fluid is to life; it supports them all, lends strength to them all ambition, cruelty, avarice, revenge, are all founded on lust.
β
β
Marquis de Sade
β
Certain souls may seem harsh to others, but it is just a way, beknownst only to them, of caring and feeling more deeply.
β
β
Marquis de Sade
β
Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday
β
β
Don Marquis
β
Social order at the expense of liberty is hardly a bargain
β
β
Marquis de Sade
β
There is no God, Nature sufficeth unto herself; in no wise hath she need of an author.
β
β
Marquis de Sade
β
Sex without pain is like food without taste
β
β
Marquis de Sade
β
When she's abandoned her moral center and teachings...when she's cast aside her facade of propriety and lady-like demeanor...when I have so corrupted this fragile thing and brought out a writhing, mewling, bucking, wanton whore for my enjoyment and pleasure.....enticing from within this feral lioness...growling and scratching and biting...taking everything I dish out to her.....at that moment she is never more beautiful to me.
β
β
Marquis de Sade
β
Your body is the church where Nature asks to be reverenced.
β
β
Marquis de Sade
β
What's it like then?" asked Old Bailey. "Being dead?"
The marquis sighed. And then he twisted his lips up into a smile, and with a glitter of his old self, he replied, "Live long enough, Old Bailey, and you can find out for yourself.
β
β
Neil Gaiman (Neverwhere (London Below, #1))
β
I want to be the victim of his errors.
β
β
Marquis de Sade
β
As you grow ready for it, somewhere or other you will find what is needful for you in a book.
β
β
George MacDonald (The Marquis of Lossie (Malcolm, #2))
β
Beauty belongs to the sphere of the simple, the ordinary, whilst ugliness is something extraordinary, and there is no question but that every ardent imagination prefers in lubricity, the extraordinary to the commonplace
β
β
Marquis de Sade (The 120 Days of Sodom and Other Writings)
β
All universal moral principles are idle fancies.
β
β
Marquis de Sade
β
The only way to a woman's heart is along the path of torment.
β
β
Marquis de Sade
β
When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him: 'Whose?
β
β
Don Marquis
β
So, you figure they won't notice you're back?" sneered the marquis. "Just, 'oh look, there's another angel, here, grab a harp and on with the hosannas'?
β
β
Neil Gaiman (Neverwhere (London Below, #1))
β
It is not my mode of thought that has caused my misfortunes, but the mode of thought of others.
β
β
Marquis de Sade
β
My passions, concentrated on a single point, resemble the rays of a sun assembled by a magnifying glass: they immediately set fire to whatever object they find in their way.
β
β
Marquis de Sade (Juliette)
β
Sex'' is as important as eating or drinking and we ought to allow the one appetite to be satisfied with as little restraint or false modesty as the other
β
β
Marquis de Sade
β
What we are doing here is only the image of what we would like to do.
β
β
Marquis de Sade
β
Richard wondered how the marquis managed to make being pushed around in a wheelchair look like a romantic and swashbuckling thing to do.
β
β
Neil Gaiman (Neverwhere (London Below, #1))
β
You look beautiful sitting there spitting at me like a she-cat. All I have to do is look at you, and I lust. I'm going to take you back to the hotel and take off that delectable dress and make love to you until you don't have the energy to be mad at me anymore." Ian Connelly, Marquis of Derne
β
β
Karen Robards (Nobody's Angel)
β
The Marquis De Sade said that the most important experiences a man can have are those that take him to the very limit; that is the only way we learn, because it requires all our courage. When a boss humiliates an employee, or a man humiliates his wife, he is merely being cowardly or taking his revenge on life, they are people who have never dared to look into the depths of their soul, never attempted to know the origin of that desire to unleash the wild beast, or to understand that sex, pain and love are all extreme experiences. Only those who know those frontiers know life; everything else is just passing the time, repeating the same tasks, growing old and dying without ever having discovered what we are doing here.
β
β
Paulo Coelho (Eleven Minutes)
β
Miss Butterworth and the Mad Baron,β Sebastian said approvingly. βExcellent choice.β
βYou have read this?β Alexei asked.
βItβs not as good as Miss Davenport and the Dark Marquis, of course, but worlds better than Miss Sainsbury and the Mysterious Colonel.β
Harry found himself rendered speechless.
βIβm reading Miss Truesdale and the Silent Gentleman right now.β
βSilent?β Harry echoed.
βThere is a noticeable lack of dialogue,β Sebastian confirmed.
β
β
Julia Quinn (What Happens in London (Bevelstoke, #2))
β
I don't know what the heart is, not I: I only use the word to denote the mind's frailties.
β
β
Marquis de Sade
β
How delightful are the pleasures of the imagination! In those delectable moments, the whole world is ours; not a single creature resists us, we devastate the world, we repopulate it with new objects which, in turn, we immolate. The means to every crime is ours, and we employ them all, we multiply the horror a hundredfold.
β
β
Marquis de Sade (Les Prosperites du Vice)
β
'Door,' called Richard. 'Don't do it. Don't set it free. We don't matter.'
'Actually,' said the marquis, 'I matter very much. But I have to agree. Don't do it.'
β
β
Neil Gaiman (Neverwhere (London Below, #1))
β
The Marquis believed himself to be hardened against flattery. He thought that he had experienced every variety, but he discovered that he was mistaken: the blatantly worshipful look in the eyes of a twelve-year-old, anxiously raised to his, was new to him, and it pierced his defences.
β
β
Georgette Heyer (Frederica)
β
Destruction, hence, like creation, is one of Nature's mandates.
β
β
Marquis de Sade (Justine, Philosophy in the Bedroom, and Other Writings)
β
Religions are the cradles of despotism.
β
β
Marquis de Sade
β
It is only by enlarging the scope of oneβs tastes and oneβs fantasies, by sacrificing everything to pleasure, that the unfortunate individual called Man, thrown despite himself into this sad world, can succeed in gathering a few roses among lifeβs thorns
β
β
Marquis de Sade
β
The reasoning man who scorns the prejudices of simpletons necessarily becomes the enemy of simpletons; he must expect as much, and laugh at the inevitable.
β
β
Marquis de Sade
β
True happiness lies in the senses, and virtue gratifies none of them.
β
β
Marquis de Sade
β
Publishing a book of poetry is like dropping a rose petal down the Grand Canyon and waiting for the echo.
β
β
Don Marquis
β
Can we become other than what we are?
β
β
Marquis de Sade
β
One must do violence to the object of one's desire; when it surrenders, the pleasure is greater.
β
β
Marquis de Sade
β
What are books but tangible dreams? What is reading if it is not dreaming? The best books cause us to dream; the rest are not worth reading.
β
β
Rikki Ducornet (The Fan-Maker's Inquisition: A Novel of the Marquis de Sade)
β
Happiness is an abstraction, it is a product of the imagination, it is a way of being moved, which depends entirely on our way of seeing and feeling.
β
β
Marquis de Sade (Gothic Tales of the Marquis de Sade)
β
Without Thomas Jefferson and his Declaration of Independence, there would have been no American revolution that announced universal principles of liberty. Without his participation by the side of the unforgettable Marquis de Lafayette, there would have been no French proclamation of The Rights of Man. Without his brilliant negotiation of the Louisiana treaty, there would be no United States of America. Without Thomas Jefferson and James Madison, there would have been no Virginia Statute on Religious Freedom, and no basis for the most precious clause of our most prized element of our imperishable Bill of Rights - the First Amendment to the United States Constitution.
β
β
Christopher Hitchens
β
Imperious, choleric, irascible, extreme in everything, with a dissolute imagination the like of which has never been seen, atheistic to the point of fanaticism, there you have me in a nutshell, and kill me again or take me as I am, for I shall not change.
β
β
Marquis de Sade
β
You say that my way of thinking cannot be tolerated? What of it? The man who alters his way of thinking to suit othere is a fool. My way of thinking is the result of my reflections. It is part of my inner being,the way I am made. I do not contradict them, and would not even if I wished to. For my system, which you disapprove of is also my greatest comfort in life, the source of all my happiness -it means more to me than my life itself.
β
β
Marquis de Sade
β
Let us give ourselves indiscriminately to everything our passions suggest, and we will always be happyβ¦Conscience is not the voice of Nature but only the voice of prejudice.
β
β
Marquis de Sade
β
Nothing quite encourages as does one's first unpunished crime.
β
β
Marquis de Sade (The 120 Days of Sodom)
β
In order to know virtue, we must acquaint ourselves with vice. Only then can we know the true measure of a man.
β
β
Marquis de Sade
β
A pessimist is a person who has had to listen to too many optimists.
β
β
Don Marquis
β
Ours is a world where people don't know what they want and are willing to go through hell to get it.
β
β
Don Marquis
β
We were expecting to see you at the market."
"Yes. Well. Some people thought I was dead. I was forced to keep a low profile."
"Why . . . why did some people think you were dead?"
The marquis looked at Richard with eyes that had seen too much and gone too far. "Because they killed me.
β
β
Neil Gaiman (Neverwhere (London Below, #1))
β
If you want to get rich from writing, write the sort of thing that's read by persons who move their lips when they're reading to themselves.
β
β
Don Marquis
β
It is always by way of pain one arrives at pleasure.
β
β
Marquis de Sade
β
Nature has endowed each of us with a capacity for kindly feelings: let us not squander them on others.
β
β
Marquis de Sade (Justine, Philosophy in the Bedroom, and Other Writings)
β
Were he supreme, were he mighty, were he just, were he good, this God you tell me about, would it be through enigmas and buffooneries he would wish to teach me to serve and know him?
β
β
Marquis de Sade (Justine, or The Misfortunes of Virtue)
β
Nearly every night before I go to bed I ask myself, "Have I vibrated in tune with the Infinite today, or have I failed?
β
β
Don Marquis (Hermione and Her Little Group of Serious Thinkers)
β
The past encourages me, the present electrifies me, and I have little fear for the future; and my hope is that the rest of my life shall by far surpass the extravagances of my youth.
β
β
Marquis de Sade (Juliette)
β
An idea isn't responsible for the people who believe it.
β
β
Don Marquis (Archy and Mehitabel)
β
The chief obstacle to the progress of the human race is the human race.
β
β
Don Marquis
β
Anything beyond the limits and grasp of the human mind is either illusion or futility; and because your god having to be one or the other of the two, in the first instance I should be mad to believe in him, and in the second a fool.
β
β
Marquis de Sade
β
Truth titillates the imagination far less than fiction.
β
β
Marquis de Sade
β
it is better to be a part of beauty
for one instant and then cease to
exist than to exist forever
and never be a part of beauty
β
β
Don Marquis (The Best of Archy and Mehitabel)
β
The completest submissiveness is your lot, and that is all;
β
β
Marquis de Sade (Justine, Philosophy in the Bedroom, and Other Writings)
β
Behold, my love, behold all that I simultaneously do: scandal, seduction, bad example, incest, adultery, sodomy! Oh, Satan! one and unique God of my soul, inspire thou in me something yet more, present further perversions to my smoking heart, and then shalt thou see how I shall plunge myself into them all!
β
β
Marquis de Sade
β
The Marquis sighed. "I thought it was just a legend," he said. "Like the alligators in the sewers of New York City."
Old Bailey nodded, sagely: "What, the big white buggers? They're down there. I had a friend lost a head to one of them." A moment of silence. Old Naeiley handed the statue back to the Marquis. Then he raised his hand, and snapped it, like a crocodile hand, at the Carabas. "It was OK," gurned Old Bailey with a grin that was most terrible to behold. "He had another.
β
β
Neil Gaiman (Neverwhere (London Below, #1))
β
We're all free and equal to die like dogs
β
β
Peter Weiss (The Persecution and Assassination of Jean-Paul Marat as Performed by the Inmates of the Asylum of Charenton Under the Direction of the Marquis de Sade)
β
I assumed that everything must yield to me, that the entire universe had to flatter my whims, and that I had the right to satisfy them at will.
β
β
Marquis de Sade
β
Variety, multiplicity are the two most powerful vehicles of lust.
β
β
Marquis de Sade (Juliette)
β
He looks like a man.'
'How descriptive,' Susan said in a droll tone. 'Remind me never to advise you to seek work as a novelist.
β
β
Julia Quinn (How to Marry a Marquis (Agents of the Crown, #2))
β
and before i could argue him
out of his philosophy
he went and immolated himself
on a patent cigar lighter
i do not agree with him
myself i would rather have
half the happiness and twice
the longevity
but at the same time i wish
there was something i wanted
as badly as he wanted to fry himself
From the lesson of the moth
β
β
Don Marquis (Archy and Mehitabel)
β
life is one damned kitten after another
β
β
Don Marquis (The Best of Archy and Mehitabel)
β
fire is beautiful
and we know that if we get
too close it will kill us
but what does that matter
it is better to be happy
for a moment
and be burned up with beauty
than to live a long time
and be bored all the while
β
β
Don Marquis
β
The marquis de Carabas was not a good man, and he knew himself well enough to be perfectly certain that he was not a brave man. He had long since decided that the world, Above or Below, was a place that wished to be deceived, and, to this end, he had named himself from a lie in a fairy tale, and created himself--his clothes, his manner, his carriage--as a grand joke.
There was a dull pain in his wrists and his feet, and he was finding it harder and harder to breathe. There was nothing more to be gained by feigning unconsciousness, and he raised his head, as best he could, and spat a gob of scarlet blood into Mr. Vandemar's face.
It was a brave thing to do, he thought. And a stupid one. Perhaps they would have let him die quietly, if he had not done that. Now, he had no doubt, they would hurt him more.
And perhaps his death would come the quicker for it.
β
β
Neil Gaiman (Neverwhere (London Below, #1))
β
Are not laws dangerous which inhibit the passions? Compare the centuries of anarchy with those of the strongest legalism in any country you like and you will see that it is only when the laws are silent that the greatest actions appear.
β
β
Marquis de Sade
β
A book is a private thing, citizen; it belongs to the one who writes it and to the one who reads it. Like the mind itself, a book is a private space. Within that space, anything is possible. The greatest evil and the greatest good.
β
β
Rikki Ducornet (The Fan-Maker's Inquisition: A Novel of the Marquis de Sade)
β
Every death even the cruelest death
drowns in the total indifference of Nature
Nature herself would watch unmoved
if we destroyed the entire human race
I hate Nature
this passionless spectator this unbreakable iceberg-face
that can bear everything
this goads us to greater and greater acts
β
β
Peter Weiss (The Persecution and Assassination of Jean-Paul Marat as Performed by the Inmates of the Asylum of Charenton Under the Direction of the Marquis de Sade)
β
...your service will be arduous, it will be painful and rigorous, and the slightest delinquencies will be requited immediately with corporal and afflicting punishments; hence, I must recommend to you prompt exactness, submissiveness, and total self-abnegation that you be enabled to heed naught but our desires; let them be your laws, fly to do their bidding, anticipate them, cause them to be born...
β
β
Marquis de Sade
β
The youngest Merriville, bursting into the room some time later, found them seated side by side on the sofa. 'Buddle said I wasn't to disturb you, but I knew that was fudge,' he said scornfully. 'Cousin Alverstoke, there is someting I particularly wanted to ask you!' He broke off, perceiving suddenly, and with disfavour, that his Cousin Alverstoke had an arm round Frederica. Revolted by such a betrayal of unmanliness, he bent a disapproving look upon his idol and demanded: 'Why are you cuddling Frederica, sir?'
'Because we are going to be married,' replied his lordship calmly. 'It's obligatory, you know. One is expected to -er - cuddle the lady one is going to marry.'
'Oh!' said Felix. 'Well, I won't ask anyone to marry me , if that's what you have to do! I just say I never thought that you sir would have-' Again he broke off, as a thought struck him. 'Will that make her a - a She-Marquis? Oh, Jessamy, did you hear that? Frederica is going to be a She-Marquis!'
'What you mean is a Marchioness, you ignorant little ape!' replied his austere brother.
β
β
Georgette Heyer (Frederica)
β
I shall approach. Before taking off his hat, I shall take off my own. I shall say, "The Marquis de Saint Eustache, I believe." He will say, "The celebrated Mr. Syme, I presume." He will say in the most exquisite French, "How are you?" I shall reply in the most exquisite Cockney, "Oh, just the Syme."'
'Oh shut it...what are you really going to do?'
'But it was a lovely catechism! ...Do let me read it to you. It has only forty-three questions and answers, some of the Marquis's answers are wonderfully witty. I like to be just to my enemy.'
'But what's the good of it all?' asked Dr. Bull in exasperation.
'It leads up to the challenge...when the Marquis as given the forty-ninth reply, which runs--'
'Has it...occurred to you...that the Marquis may not say all the forty-three things you have put down for him?'
'How true that is! ...Sir, you have a intellect beyond the common.
β
β
G.K. Chesterton (The Man Who Was Thursday: A Nightmare)
β
Before you were born, you were nothing more than an indistinguishable lump of unformed matter. After death, you simply will return to that nebulous state. You are going to become the raw material out of which new beings will be fashioned. Will there be pain in this natural process? No! Pleasure? No! Now, is there anything frightening in this? Certainly not! And yet, people sacrifice pleasure on earth in the hope that pain will be avoided in an after-life. The fools don't realize that, after death, pain and pleasure cannot exist: there is only the sensationless state of cosmic anonymity: therefore, the rule of life should be ... to enjoy oneself!
β
β
Marquis de Sade
β
Chimerical and empty being, your name alone has caused more blood to flow on the face of the earth than any political war ever will. Return to the nothingness from which the mad hope and ridiculous fright of men dared call you forth to their misfortune. You only appeared as a torment for the human race. What crimes would have been spared the world, if they had choked the first imbecile who thought of speaking of you.
β
β
Marquis de Sade
β
What I should like to find is a crime the effects of which would be perpetual, even when I myself do not act, so that there would not be a single moment of my life even when I were asleep, when I was not the cause of some chaos, a chaos of such proportions that it would provoke a general corruption or a distubance so formal that even after my death its effects would still be felt.
β
β
Marquis de Sade
β
I fear you will never arrive at an understanding of God so long as you cannot bring yourself to see the good that often comes as a result of pain. For there is nothing, from the lowest, weakest tone of suffering to the loftiest acme of pain, to which God does not respond. There is nothing in all the universe which does not in some way vibrate within the heart of God. No creature suffers alone; He suffers with His creatures and through it is in the process of bringing His sons and daughters through the cleansing and glorifying fires, without which the created cannot be made the very children of God, partakers of the divine nature and peace.
β
β
George MacDonald (The Marquis' Secret (Malcolm, #2))
β
it wont be long now it wont be long
man is making deserts of the earth
it wont be long now
before man will have used it up
so that nothing but ants
and centipedes and scorpions
can find a living on it
....
what man calls civilization
always results in deserts
....
men talk of money and industry
of hard times and recoveries
of finance and economics
but the ants wait and the scorpions wait
for while men talk they are making deserts all the time
getting the world ready for the conquering ant
drought and erosion and desert
because men cannot learn
....
it wont be long now it wont be long
till earth is barren as the moon
and sapless as a mumbled bone
β
β
Don Marquis (Archy Does His Part)
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If the people of Europe had known as much of astronomy and geology when the bible was introduced among them, as they do now, there never could have been one believer in the doctrine of inspiration. If the writers of the various parts of the bible had known as much about the sciences as is now known by every intelligent man, the book never could have been written. It was produced by ignorance, and has been believed and defended by its author. It has lost power in the proportion that man has gained knowledge. A few years ago, this book was appealed to in the settlement of all scientific questions; but now, even the clergy confess that in such matters, it has ceased to speak with the voice of authority. For the establishment of facts, the word of man is now considered far better than the word of God. In the world of science, Jehovah was superseded by Copernicus, Galileo, and Kepler. All that God told Moses, admitting the entire account to be true, is dust and ashes compared to the discoveries of Descartes, Laplace, and Humboldt. In matters of fact, the bible has ceased to be regarded as a standard. Science has succeeded in breaking the chains of theology. A few years ago, Science endeavored to show that it was not inconsistent with the bible. The tables have been turned, and now, Religion is endeavoring to prove that the bible is not inconsistent with Science. The standard has been changed.
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Robert G. Ingersoll (Some Mistakes of Moses)
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a spider and a fly
i heard a spider
and a fly arguing
wait said the fly
do not eat me
i serve a great purpose
in the world
you will have to
show me said the spider
i scurry around
gutters and sewers
and garbage cans
said the fly and gather
up the germs of
typhoid influenza
and pneumonia on my feet
and wings
then i carry these germs
into households of men
and give them diseases
all the people who
have lived the right
sort of life recover
from the diseases
and the old soaks who
have weakened their systems
with liquor and iniquity
succumb it is my mission
to help rid the world
of these wicked persons
i am a vessel of righteousness
scattering seeds of justice
and serving the noblest uses
it is true said the spider
that you are more
useful in a plodding
material sort of way
than i am but i do not
serve the utilitarian deities
i serve the gods of beauty
look at the gossamer webs
i weave they float in the sun
like filaments of song
if you get what i mean
i do not work at anything
i play all the time
i am busy with the stuff
of enchantment and the materials
of fairyland my works
transcend utility
i am the artist
a creator and demi god
it is ridiculous to suppose
that i should be denied
the food i need in order
to continue to create
beauty i tell you
plainly mister fly it is all
damned nonsense for that food
to rear up on its hind legs
and say it should not be eaten
you have convinced me
said the fly say no more
and shutting all his eyes
he prepared himself for dinner
and yet he said i could
have made out a case
for myself too if i had
had a better line of talk
of course you could said the spider
clutching a sirloin from him
but the end would have been
just the same if neither of
us had spoken at all
boss i am afraid that what
the spider said is true
and it gives me to think
furiously upon the futility
of literature
archy
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Don Marquis (Archy and Mehitabel)