Marital Problems Quotes

If your love for another person doesn’t include loving yourself then your love is incomplete.

It's not a loup cage, you know,' I told her. 'It's a holding cell. Or safe room. or secure room. I don't think Jim ever settled on a term he could live with.' 'Aha. It's a loup cage.' Andrea cleared her throat. 'I touched it with my finger and it hurt. Is that in case of marital problems?

Your partner may have injuries that you can't repair. Your partner may be trapped in a dark room without windows. Your life narrative might bring him more relief than an opiate. Some people make better windows than windows. Your kind words and enlightened perspective is a window of wonders to someone living in pain.

Marriage is a full-time job; wooing is your application, courtship your interview, engagement your job offer, and honeymoon, your orientation.

He’d gone into their marriage determined that she would never be alone again. In the end, she’d made him as alone in the world as she.

In Hollywood, the real stars are all in animation. Alvin and the Chipmunks don't throw star fits, don't demand custom-designed Winnebagos, and are a breeze at costume fittings. Cruella DeVille, Gorgo, Rainbow Brite, Gus-Gus, Uncle Scrooge, and the Care Bears are all superstars and they don't have drug problems, marital difficulties, or paternity suits to blacken their images. They don't age, balk at promoting, or sass highly paid directors. Plus, you can market them to death and they never feel exploited. I'd like to do a big-budget snuff film starring every last one of them.

If your financial life is not in order, every other area of your life will be in disorder.

... The group is a wonderful mix of people - a microcosm, I believe, of what's really out there. Listen, Lucy, you do my job for a while and here's what you learn. No one is normal. Everybody struggles with something. Marital problems, depression, codependency, maybe a looming fascination with shoes or leather bags that keeps her working overtime shifts to pay off her debt. Whatever. Stop thinking everyone else has it together. It's not true. Precious few people have life figured out. 'Normal' just isn't normal anymore.

Misinformation about the Bible's answers to these issues has led to much wrong teaching about boundaries. Not only that, but many clinical psychological symptoms, such as depression, anxiety disorders, guilt problems, shame issues, panic disorders, and marital and relational struggles, find their root in conflicts with boundaries.

Of course happy couples fight! Two strong minds coming together are never going to agree on everything, and it’s healthy to express those feelings. But what we had to learn was that it was the way we were expressing our feelings that wasn’t healthy. Shouting doesn’t make anyone feel better. Storming off doesn’t fix any problems.

Hatred like an untamed dog cannot be hidden. It constantly rears up its ugly head as lies and strifes.

[S]he'd realized that he had loved her only because she belonged to him.

The pigs are confiscated until these two idiots work out heir marital problems". Gowan, Once Upon a Tower by Eloisa James

When deceit and attack become a regular part of marital interactions, there is no clear communication, no resolution to the problem, and no healing. It’s impossible to have a close, loving relationship with someone you can’t trust, can’t talk with, or who won’t take a look at himself when he hurts you.

The problem is that therapy that focuses solely on active listening and conflict resolution doesn’t work. A Munich-based marital therapy study conducted by Kurt Hahlweg and associates found that even after employing active-listening techniques the typical couple was still distressed. Those few couples who did benefit relapsed within a year.

A common and traditionally masculine marital problem is created by the husband who, once he is married, devotes all his energies to climbing mountains and none to tending to his marriage, or base camp, expecting it to be there in perfect order whenever he chooses to return to it for rest and recreation without his assuming any responsibility for its maintenance. Sooner or later this “capitalist” approach to the problem fails and he returns to find his untended base camp a shambles, his neglected wife having been hospitalized for a nervous breakdown, having run off with another man, or in some other way having renounced her job as camp caretaker. An equally common and traditionally feminine marital problem is created by the wife who, once she is married, feels that the goal of her life has been achieved. To her the base camp is the peak. She cannot understand or empathize with her husband’s need for achievements and experiences beyond the marriage and reacts to them with jealousy and never-ending demands that he devote increasingly more energy to the home. Like other “communist” resolutions of the problem, this one creates a relationship that is suffocating and stultifying, from which the husband, feeling trapped and limited, may likely flee in a moment of “mid-life crisis.” The women’s liberation movement has been helpful in pointing the way to what is obviously the only ideal resolution: marriage as a truly cooperative institution, requiring great mutual contributions and care, time and energy, but existing for the primary purpose of nurturing each of the participants for individual journeys toward his or her own individual peaks of spiritual growth. Male and female both must tend the hearth and both must venture forth. As an adolescent I used to thrill to the words of love the early American poet Ann Bradstreet spoke to her husband: “If ever two were one, then we.”20 As I have grown, however, I have come to realize that it is the separateness of the partners that enriches the union. Great marriages cannot be constructed by individuals

The next morning Shinn asked for a continuance. Being in a strange bed, and an even stranger place, he hadn't slept well the night before, and he didn't eel he could effectively defend his client. These were not all of his troubles, Shinn admitted. "I am now having marital problems, Your Honor. My wife thinks I am spending the night with some other woman. She doesn't read English. Now my dog won't even talk to me." Declining comment on his domestic woes, Older suggested that Shinn catch a nap during the noon recess. Motion denied.

Anybody who knows anything knows how delicate and exacting a matter it is to try to tune in harmony two human beings, almost constitutionally out of tune even with themselves, full of strange complicated weaknesses and unexpected beauties and strength. Add to that the element of children, each of whom brings a full equipment of strange unexplored possiblities, and any fool can see that no outside complications are needed to make the problem a difficult one. "Marital Relations

If you or your spouse feel that one person’s feelings and needs should take a backseat in your marriage, I urge you to reevaluate your relationship (and your self-esteem). When there is a significant power imbalance within the relationship, the powerless person inevitably feels left out, depressed, and lonely. That is where the marital problems come from.

If God had a wife He would be in just as much trouble as any man.

Love always doesn't come across as bad, but it always has two sides.

deceivers shall always be at the junction of double mindedness

But I was stuck--stuck in a delicious, glorious, beautiful, inescapable La Brea tar pit of romance with a rough, rugged, impossibly tender cowboy. As soon as I’d have any thoughts of escaping to Chicago to avoid my parents’ problems, within seconds I’d shoot myself down. Something major would have to happen to pry me out of his arms. Marlboro Man filled my daydreams, filled my thoughts, my time, my heart, my mind. When I was with him, I was able to forget about my parents’ marital problems. On our drives together, preparing our dinners, watching our VHS action movies, all of those unhappy things disappeared from view. This became a crutch for me, an addictive drug of escape. Ten seconds in Marlboro Man’s pickup, and I saw only goodness and light. And the occasional bra-and-panty-wearing grandma mowing her yard.

She’d gone cold turkey on Nora’s books a year ago, when her ex-husband, Rick-the-Dick, threw Black Hills at the wall, snarling that her favorite author had given her an unrealistic view of love. “Our marital problems are her fault,” he said. “She’s made you believe in happily ever after—something any adult knows is a myth. Grow up.” Then he packed his custom-tailored suits and slammed out the door of their swanky Manhattan apartment.

Like interpersonal therapists, marital and family therapists recognize that depressed individuals often have problems with family relationships. Indeed, if you are married and depressed, you are very likely to be experiencing distress in your marriage.

I hate when a man feels I’m obligated to disclose my marital status to somebody I don’t even know. Even this bullshit about status itself as if married and spinster are the only two choices for defining myself. Or because I’m a woman I’m supposed to have a status at all. Hey big boy, here’s my status. Hi, before I tell you my name here’s my status. Maybe I should just say I’m a lesbian and throw the problem back in their faces for them to define it. Xanax for anxiety. Valium for sleep. Prozac for depression. Phenergan for nausea. Tylenol for headaches. Mylanta for bloating. Midol for cramps. I mean, Jesus Christ, menopause come already. Isn’t there some fast-track for a hot flash? It’s not like I’m ever going to breed, so why keep the damn store door open?

Normally, burning is carried out from a Jeep or other open vehicle, the driver holding a torch out of the side, lighting grass as he goes. I’d seen Marlboro Man do it from afar but had never been up close and personal with the flames. Maybe he needs me to drive the Jeep! I thought. Or, better yet, man the torch! This could be really fun. He asked me to meet him at the barn near his house, where his Jeep was parked. Just as I pulled up, I saw Marlboro Man exiting the barn…who two horses in hand. My stomach felt funny as I scrunched up my nose and mouthed the word crap. I wasn’t comfortable riding a horse, and like my parents’ marital problems, I’d been secretly hoping this whole “horse thing” would just up and magically disappear.

Falling into this elaborate daydream about me and Heather Craven forever after. Imagining us as married professionals with our six towheaded children running loose in our suburbanite home as surrounded by a lush yard and fenced. Walking toward the door yelling, “Honey, I’m home!” and having Heather answer my call. Imagining the family dog jumping me, slobbering over in greeting and my laughing heartily as I was knocked to the ground. At one point getting so steeped in the fantasy that I actually found myself troubleshooting marital problems in advance, arguing with the fantasy love of my life before the dog grew on me over whether we should even have a dog; wasn’t six dependents enough? Losing the argument and then reluctantly accepting this new intrusion and competitor for Heather’s affections.

What we ought to realize about marriage is, first of all, that, like every other human relationship, it is a problem that is never completely solved and settled, once and for all, until both parties are dead and buried. And secondly, that it is an intensely personal affair and that nobody on earth can know as much about it as the two people involved. Consequently, advice and pressure from the outside are always given on the basis of insufficient information, and have at least a fifty-fifty chance of being wrong. "Marital Relations

Mom and Bob's problems were my first introduction to marital conflict resolution. Here were the takeaways: Never speak at a reasonable volume when screaming will do; if the fight gets a little too intense, it's okay to slap and punch, so long as the man doesn't hit first; always express your feelings in a way that's insulting and hurtful to your partner; if all else fails, take the kids to a local motel, and don't tell your spouse where to find you - if he or she knows where the children are, he or shoe won't worry as much, and your departure won't be as effective.

The misuse of African Americans by the medical establishment at large is well known. (for a recent compendium of pertinent facts, see Washington, 2006). The infamous Tuskegee syphilis experiments of past and Henrietta Lock’s story of the current times have made many Black people suspicious of the intent of health providers. They doubt that their issues will be taken seriously, sensitively, and respectfully (Jones, 1981; Skloot, 2010). In addition, for many African Americans, non-medical problems including depression, anxiety, alcoholism, and marital discord are perceived not as emotional disorders but as disjunctions from faith, or

After God, who is the central core pillar to any Christian marriage, there are four important marital relationship foundations. These are: * Self-Esteem - if you don't love yourself you will find it almost impossible to accept love from others. * Friendship - a strong friendship will sustain your marriage even when feelings of love are harder to find. * Laughter - it will improve your quality of life, your health and your relationships * Romance - feeling close to your partner can be the glue which holds your relationship together through the rough patches, but the absence of romance causes a void that problems will easily fill.

Scientists have known for a while that high-reactive temperaments come with risk factors. These kids are especially vulnerable to challenges like marital tension, a parent’s death, or abuse. They’re more likely than their peers to react to these events with depression, anxiety, and shyness. Indeed, about a quarter of Kagan’s high-reactive kids suffer from some degree of the condition known as “social anxiety disorder,” a chronic and disabling form of shyness. What scientists haven’t realized until recently is that these risk factors have an upside. In other words, the sensitivities and the strengths are a package deal. High-reactive kids who enjoy good parenting, child care, and a stable home environment tend to have fewer emotional problems and more social skills than their lower-reactive peers, studies show. Often they’re exceedingly empathic, caring, and cooperative. They work well with others. They are kind, conscientious, and easily disturbed by cruelty, injustice, and irresponsibility. They’re successful at the things that matter to them. They don’t necessarily turn into class presidents or stars of the school play, Belsky told me, though this can happen, too: “For some it’s becoming the leader of their class. For others it takes the form of doing well academically or being well-liked.

Now, did you really mean that about not wanting to do this the rest of your life?” he asked. That familiar, playful grin appeared in the corner of his mouth. I blinked a couple of times and took a deep breath, smiling back at him and reassuring him with my eyes that no, I hadn’t meant it, but I did hate his horse. Then I took a deep breath, stood up, and dusted off my Anne Klein straight-leg jeans. “Hey, we don’t have to do this now,” Marlboro Man said, standing back up. “I’ll just do it later.” “No, I’m fine,” I answered, walking back toward my horse with newfound resolve. I took another deep breath and climbed back on the horse. As Marlboro Man and I rode back toward the thicket of trees, I suddenly understood: if I was going to marry this man, if I was going to live on this isolated ranch, if I was going to survive without cappuccino and takeout food…I sure wasn’t going to let this horse beat me. I’d have to toughen up and face things. As we rode, it became even more clear. I’d have to apply this same courage to all areas of my life--not just the practical, day-in and day-out activities of ranch life, but also the reality of my parents’ marital collapse and any other problems that would arise in the coming years. Suddenly, running off and getting married no longer seemed like the romantic adventures I was trying to convince myself it would be. Suddenly I realized that if I did that, if I ran away and said “I do” in some dark, hidden corner of the world, I’d never be able to handle the rigors and stresses of country life. And that wouldn’t be fair to Marlboro Man…or myself. As we started moving, I noticed that Marlboro Man was riding at my pace. “The horses need to be shod,” he said, grinning. “They didn’t need to trot today anyway.” I glanced in his direction. “So we’ll just go slow and easy,” he continued. I looked toward the thicket of trees and took a deep, calming breath, grabbing on to the saddle horn so firmly my knuckles turned pasty white.

Marriage might be seen, in part, as a solution to a self-control problem, in which people take steps to increase the likelihood that their relationship will endure. If divorce is difficult, then marriages are more likely to be stable. Marital stability is usually good for children (though children can also benefit from the end of a bad marriage). ========== Nudge: Improving Decisions About Health, Wealth, and Happiness (Thaler, Richard H.;Sunstein,

Marriage might be seen, in part, as a solution to a self-control problem, in which people take steps to increase the likelihood that their relationship will endure. If divorce is difficult, then marriages are more likely to be stable. Marital stability is usually good for children (though children can also benefit from the end of a bad marriage).

Relationship math suggests that It is rare for two people to enter marriage and one person is to blame for everything that goes wrong

... having been with Boaz for so long that she could predict every one of his moves, their sex life was more like a race to see who came first.

These comments you see on the internet about DR VOKE (DOCTORVOKE@GMAIL.COM) are not just comments, they are truthful words of experience written by those who have been there and found help in reuniting with the ones they hold dear to their heart and other marital and financial problems. I can tell you this because I also asked him for help to cast a spell to fix my relationship with the only woman I have ever loved. we got married but couldn't have a baby and then I discovered my wife was barren. I had to try some spell casters but to no avail until I contacted DR VOKE. HE restored my wife's womb and just like that she got pregnant, she has given birth now and our baby is growing. Thank God for our lives and also to DR VOKE who God has used to blessed us. I know that not everybody will believe this moreover its just something on the internet but my heart knows every of this word that formed this entire comment is true. his contact is: DOCTORVOKE@GMAIL.COM

Men marry. Women wed.

For all the largesse of my mind’s colony where a vividly enflamed man would take off each of the precious stones and melt away the cast, his success ultimately lay in being nice to me, being nice to himself irrespective of the behavior of each; of being proud of me and of himself irrespective of worldly success; holding me in regard with an almost primitive sense of courage, irrespective of the purity of my body or spirit.

I hope you smile, laugh, and maybe even learn something that will help you along the way to happily-ever-after.

... this film taps perfectly into the viewers’ sense of the world. It was a big, big hit, and one of Hollywood’s best-remembered marriage movies, although by grounding itself in trendy political issues, it avoids ordinary day-to-day marital problems. Its bottom line is, however, marry your own kind.

Amiel and Bridget have been going through a lot of marital problems since before he and I met.

Lynn and Travis, her husband, have been suffering from some bad marital problems within the last few months. Really, it’s Lynn who has the problem. She suddenly feels as if she isn’t in love anymore and even says that she’s sexually unsatisfied.

Children are God’s or nature’s practical joke on couples—that which is produced by passion then proceeds to nearly kill it.

One really has to ask oneself how Socrates managed to maneuver himself into such conjugal misery, and this question can be posed in several variations. If Xantippe really was from the start the kind of woman the legend says she was, we would show very little understanding for our great philosopher because then it was his own carelessness that led him to choose precisely her and no other woman. Or is he supposed to have thought, ironic as he was, that a surly woman is just what a thinker needs? If, from the beginning, he recognized her "true nature" and put up with it, then this indicates deplorable marital behavior on his part because he thus unreasonably expected a women to spend her whole life with a man who obviously at best endured her but did not appreciate her. Conversely, if Xantippe had become as she is described only during her marriage to Socrates, then the philosopher would really come into a questionable light because then indisputably he himself must have caused his wife's vexation without having interested himself in it. No matter how the story is turned, Xantippe's moods fall back on Socrates. This is a genuine philosophical problem: How did the thinker and questioner manage not to solve the puzzle of Xantippe's bad temper? This great midwife of truth was obviously unable to let his wife's rage express itself or to help her find a language in which she would have been able to express the grounds and justifications for her behavior. The failure of a philosopher often consists not in false answers but in neglecting to pose the right questions —and in denying some experiences the right to become "problems." His experiences with Xantippe must have been of this kind—a misery that is not given the dignity of obtruding into the male problem-monopoly. Philosphers fail when they endure as a naturally given evil that for which they are to blame; indeed, their capacity for "wisely" enduring it is itself an intellectual scandal, a misuse of wisdom in favor of blindness. With Socrates, it seems, this misuse immediately avenged itself. When a thinker cannot refrain from equating humanity with masculinity, reality will strike back in the philosopher's marital hell. The stories about this thus have, I think, also a kynical meaning. They reveal the real reason for philosophicalclerical celibacy in our civilization. A definite dominating kind of idealism, philosophy, and grand theory becomes possible only when a certain "other kind" of experience is systematically avoided

How was Ambrose?” “Starving, as usual. I swear he wants to nurse every two hours.” Zoe grinned. “It’s because he’s a boy.” She pulled out some sheet music and began hunting through it for another selection. “Lisette says that Eugene nearly drove her mad. Even the wet nurse she used when she and Max came up to Winborough complained that she’d never seen a babe so lusty. But Claudine didn’t give Lisette a bit of trouble. My little Drina was never a problem, either.” “Just as I always suspected,” Jane said. “Men are insatiable from birth.” Dom’s eyes twinkled at her. “In some things, anyway.” Her stomach flipped over. Dr. Worth had only yesterday told her that they could resume marital relations, but in all the chaos of the coronation preparations she hadn’t had a chance to tell Dom.

I’m stupid. Labeling Sometimes I do things that aren’t too smart, but I’m not stupid. It’s your fault we have these marital problems. Blaming I need to look at my part of the problem and look for ways I can make the situation better. Your turn: EVENT: Write out the event that is associated with your thoughts and feelings.

Page 78 The family sucks the juice out of everything around it, leaving other institutions stunted and distorted. Page 75 Deep-seated differences between the sexes do tend to be reproduced from generation to generation by the fact that children are reared by a pair of differentiated parents and the parameters of their sexual orientation are set in the context of their early relations with those parents. But our unbalanced pattern of sexuality is also an integral part of a thriving marriage system that still enshrines male power and female dependence. Until that form of family disappears, sexual enjoyment will continue to be a male privilege and it will continue to take the form of sexual possession. Clearly, then, it remains necessary, as the early socialists recognized, to separate sex love from these economic ties and allow it to flourish in its own right. Page 52-53 The Oneida community, founded in New York State in 1848, consciously rejected the family and marriage as being inimical to a full communal life. The biblical text, ‘In heaven they neither marry nor are given in marriage’, was taken as justification for ‘complex marriage’ in which all the men and women of the community were joined. Heterosexual relations between any of them were encouraged; long-term pairing was discouraged. Children were cared for in a children’s house soon after they were weaned, visiting their own parents only once or twice a week. Their founder John Humphrey Noyes saw a very clear contradiction between intense family feelings and community feeling. He believed that ‘the great problem of socialism now is, whether the existence of the marital family is compatible with that of the universal family, which the term “community” signifies.

So, what information do you want to gather during this first interview? Foremost is her description of why she is here now as opposed to six months ago or six years ago (this is known in clinical parlance as the “presenting problem”). You want the basic data if you don’t have them: name, age, marital status, occupation; with whom she lives and where; any previous experiences of therapy; and perhaps some preliminary information about her family of origin. You also want to get some sense of her support system: Does she have friends? Do her relatives live nearby? Does she have a good working relationship with colleagues at her job? Many of these answers will emerge spontaneously. If they don’t, ask for them. Toward the end of the session, you want to leave yourself enough time to ask the client if she has any questions. In addition, you want to ask whether she would like to come back again and talk further. You might help her make that decision by pointing out what you are seeing, e.g., that she seems to be struggling with her feelings about her father’s death or that it is sometimes difficult to know the right thing to do when you are having trouble with your child. The goal here is to try and arrive at a mutual definition, in language that seems right to the client, of what the presenting problem is. Under the best circumstances the client will say something like, “That’s exactly the way I would have said it.” If you do not reach a mutual definition, however, that is not a reason to despair, since you are new at this. It is perfectly alright to suggest that the client return again so you can further explore and clarify what it is she would like your help with. If

Suddenly all our civilization seems threatened by crime, war, racial strife, moral experiments, and urban decay. We pass these frightening problems on to our children, themselves so rootless and confused. If we can sustain our faith in education we may, by guiding the rising generations—white, black, and brown together—through school and college, generate the intelligence to meet these dangers, and to lift our lives to humane tolerance, orderly liberty, marital constancy, and an organized peace. CHAPTER TWELVE ON RACE On the social aspect of this issue I should almost be an expert, for in a minor way I have been involved in the civil rights movement

If both people could catch themselves at these critical moments, turn toward their spouse, and seek the closeness they long for, the descent into marital disillusionment could be interrupted. If they could accept and tune into their own and their partner’s vulnerable needs and wants, without covering them over with bossing or blaming, the public health impact could be huge. Turning toward each other, no matter how fumbling, draws people closer, especially if they manage to recognize and admit their own role in whatever the problem was and genuinely apologize for causing pain. If they turn toward each other, couples stay in touch with their desire to be close, rather than insidiously

Be calm when your wife yells at you, calmer when she chastens you, but be terrified when she ignores you.

Here, unfortunately, is where Christians have succumbed to the fairy-tale syndrome of our society. It is a particular problem for young, single women. Many a young woman feels that if God wants her to be married, He will drop a marriage partner out of heaven on a parachute or will bring some Prince Charming riding up to her doorstep on a great white horse. One excruciating problem faced by single women—more so in past generations than today—is caused by the unwritten rule of our society that allows men the freedom actively to pursue a marriage partner while women are considered loose if they actively pursue a prospective husband. No biblical rule says that a woman eager to be married should be passive. There is nothing that prohibits her from actively seeking a suitable mate. On numerous occasions, I’ve had the task of counseling single women who insisted at the beginning of the interview that they had no desire to be married but simply wanted to work out the dimensions of the celibacy they believed God had imposed on them. After a few questions and answers, the scenario usually repeats itself: the young woman begins to weep and blurts out, “But I really want to get married.” When I suggest that there are wise steps that she can take to find a husband, her eyes light up in astonishment as if I had just given her permission to do the forbidden. I have broken a taboo. Wisdom requires that the search be done with discretion and determination. Those seeking a life partner need to do certain obvious things, such as going where other single people congregate. They need to be involved in activities that will bring them in close communication with other single Christians. In the Old Testament, Jacob made an arduous journey to his homeland to find a suitable marriage partner. He did not wait for God to deliver him a life partner. He went where the opportunity presented itself to find a marriage partner. But the fact that he was a man does not imply that such a procedure is limited to males. Women in our society have exactly the same freedom to pursue a mate by diligent search. What Do I Want in a Marriage Partner? A myth has arisen within the Christian community that marriage is to be a union between two people committed to the principle of selfless love. Selfless love is viewed as being crucial for the success of a marriage. This myth is based on the valid concept that selfishness is often at the root of disharmony and disintegration in marriage relationships. The biblical concept of love says no to acts of selfishness within marital and other human relationships. However, the remedy for selfishness is nowhere to be found in selflessness. The

I believe this particular part of 1 Corinthians 7 is an important practical resource. Each partner in marriage is to be most concerned not with getting sexual pleasure but with giving it. In short, the greatest sexual pleasure should be the pleasure of seeing your spouse getting pleasure. When you get to the place where giving arousal is the most arousing thing, you are practicing this principle. When I was doing research for this chapter, I found some old talks that Kathy and I did together. I had forgotten some of the struggles we had in our early days, and some of the notes reminded me that in those years we started to dread having sex. Kathy, in those remarks, said that if she didn’t experience an orgasm during lovemaking, we both felt like failures. If I asked her, “How was that?” and she said, “It just hurt,” I felt devastated, and she did, too. We had a great deal of trouble until we started to see something. As Kathy said in her notes:   We came to realize that orgasm is great, especially climaxing together. But the awe, the wonder, the safety, and the joy of just being one is stirring and stunning even without that. And when we stopped trying to perform and just started trying to simply love one another in sex, things started to move ahead. We stopped worrying about our performance. And we stopped worrying about what we were getting and started to say, “Well, what can we do just to give something to the other?” This concept also has implications for a typical problem that many couples experience in their marital relationship—namely, that one person wants sex more often than the other. If your main purpose in sex is giving pleasure, not getting pleasure, then a person who doesn’t have as much of a sex drive physically can give to the other person as a gift. This is a legitimate act of love, and it shouldn’t be denigrated by saying, “Oh, no, no. Unless you’re going to be all passionate, don’t do it.” Do it as a gift. Related to this are the differences that many spouses experience over what is the most satisfying context for sex. While I am not saying this is universal, I will share that, as a male, context means very little to me. That means, to be blunt, pretty much anytime, anywhere. However, I came to see that that meant I was being oblivious to something that was very important to my wife. Context? Oh, you mean candles or something? And, of course, Kathy, like so many women, did not mean “candles or something.” She meant preparing for sex emotionally. She meant warmth and conversation and things like that. I learned this, but slowly. And so we learned to be very patient with each other when it came to sex. It took years for us to be good at sexually satisfying one another. But the patience paid off. Sex

You do?” Marlboro Man responded. “You want to elope?” “Well yeah…kinda,” I responded. “What do you think?” “Well,” he began. “What brought this on?” He didn’t say it, but I knew he didn’t want to elope. He wanted to have a wedding. He wanted to celebrate. “Oh, I don’t know.” I hesitated, not really knowing how I felt or what to say. “I was just thinking about it when you called.” He paused for a moment. “You okay?” he asked. He’d detected the change in my voice, that a dark cloud had descended. “Oh, I’m fine!” I reassured him. “I’m totally fine. I just…oh, I just thought it might be fun to run off together.” But that wasn’t at all what I meant. What I meant was that I didn’t want to have anything whatsoever to do with family celebrations, tensions, stress, or marital problems. I didn’t want to have to worry from one day to the next whether my folks were going to hold it together through the next several months of wedding preparations. I just didn’t want to deal with it anymore. I wanted to bail. I wanted it to go away. But I didn’t say that; it was too much for that late-night phone call, too much for me to explain. “Well, I’m open,” Marlboro Man responded, yawning through his words. “We can just figure it out tomorrow.” “Yeah,” I said, yawning in return. “Good night…” I fell asleep on my comfortable chair, hugging Fox Johnson, a worn-out Steiff animal my parents had given me back when we were a happy, perfect family.

Every couple is only one righteous decision away from a great marriage.

The world’s most lethal venom is not found on the tongues of serpents, but on the tongues of a disgruntled wife.

And the “fimmina” (woman-female), which in Sicilian is not an offensive word as it is in Italian, is always on Martoglio’s mind. At times she is an angel that recalls the Angel-like women of the Dolce Stil Nuovo; at times she is the temptress who leads men into hell and gives them death when she tires of them; at other times, she is the lady whose eyes are sweet and traitorous at once. Often woman is seen as the eternal repose and the only goal of man. Women are the source of all the sweetness in the world. The only problem Martoglio seems to have is that he can never be sure how long a woman’s promise will last. Inevitably they abandon the poet, they betray and forsake him. Martoglio seems to search for an ideal of constancy that he can never find, except in the image of the saintly mother. The image of the “donna-danno” is in fact frequently opposed to that of the mother, who alone is able to understand and comfort the poet. As a good Sicilian of the nineteenth century, Martoglio felt a special devotion to his mother, perhaps because of her many marital difficulties.

Fruit and cognac are good for warming the throat and belly, but they can’t heal a hurt heart.

Other-Directed Shoulds lead to feelings of anger and frustration when others don’t meet our expectations (“He shouldn’t feel that way” or “She shouldn’t have said that!”). Other-directed shoulds cause conflicts with others, such as marital problems, arguments, and even violence and war.

Here are their ingredients for healthy conflict management. Soften how you start the discussion. Accept influence by recognizing there are two valid viewpoints. Calm down by physiological self-soothing. Compromise. Process and understand the fight later, after you’ve calmed down. Figure out the conversation you needed to have, instead of the fight. Move from “gridlock” to “dialogue” when you face unsolvable problems, using the “dreams-within-conflict” method. Now

We discovered that the way a conflict conversation goes is determined by how it starts 96 percent of the time. When we introduce an issue with harsh start-up, one of us blames the other, usually with criticism or contempt. In response, the other partner gets defensive and critical right back. Anger bubbles up, then skyrockets. No problems are resolved. In contrast, when softened start-up is used, no one gets blamed. Instead, one of us begins with a complaint. A complaint states what we feel about a situation, and the situation is described neutrally, not like a shot across the bow. Next, we state what we do need, not what we don’t need. Softened start-ups are easier on the ears. They don’t hurt us the way harsh start-ups do.

In a marriage, for example, you face the same problem with your marital partner as you do with yourself: You are stuck with the consequences of an iterating game. You can treat your husband or wife any old way right now, this moment, no matter how horrid and thoughtless that way might be, but you are going to wake up with him or her tomorrow, and next month, and a decade from now (and, if not that person, then someone else equally unfortunate). If you treat the person you are committed to in a manner that does not work when it is repeated across time, then you are playing a degenerating game, and you are both going to suffer terribly for it. This problem is not materially different from failing to make peace with your future self. The consequences are identical.

In our modern-day lives, we have many chronic, nonphysical stressors that increase our cortisol levels. For example, marital issues, problems at work, arguments with children and sleep deprivation are all serious stressors, but they do not result in the vigorous physical exertion needed to burn off the blood glucose. Under conditions of chronic stress, glucose levels remain high and there is no resolution to the stressor. Our blood glucose can remain elevated for months, triggering the release of insulin. Chronically elevated cortisol leads to increased insulin levels—as demonstrated by several studies.

Behavioral marital therapy is a relatively brief treatment in which the therapist meets regularly with the depressed person and his or her partner. In the first phase of treatment, the therapist tackles the biggest strains on the relationship and helps the couple have more positive interactions. The couple may be given a homework assignment to figure out what activity they have enjoyed doing together in the past and then going ahead and doing it. When this phase is successful, the depressed person is already feeling brighter and both partners are expressing positive feelings toward each other. This boost serves as the foundation for the second phase, whose aim it is to restructure the relationship—for example, to improve the way that the couple communicates, handles problems, and interacts on a daily basis. Sometimes this is done by having the couple write a behavioral “contract,” agreeing to change aspects of their behavior. When successful, this phase will leave the couple feeling more supportive and sensitive to each other’s needs, more intimate, and better able to cope with future difficulties. Finally, in the third phase, the therapist helps the two partners prepare for stressful situations that might come to pass and encourages them to attribute their improvement in therapy to their love and caring for each other. Interestingly, behavioral marital therapy has been found to be at least as effective as individual therapy at lifting depression. However, it has the additional benefit of bolstering marital satisfaction. Indeed, a number of studies have shown that the boost in marital happiness (or favorable changes in the marriage related to that boost) is in fact the reason that the marital therapy works.

Ladybird Heart by Stewart Stafford O darling o' my heart, If 'tis true that is what thou art, Then recognise and see me. Didst I not win thy heart so bold, And giveth thee rings of gold? Anon, honour our precious union. But to interfering teams, Thy loyalty now it seems, Thee grants these canker blossoms o'er me. Recall how they hath tried, To jilt me from mine own bride, And keepest thou lonesome and melancholy. So, returneth, my dove, To this, thy bed of love, And sleep soundly beneath thy lovebird's wing. © Stewart Stafford, 2022. All rights reserved.

Your wife is already half of your body and soul, you don't need to hid anything from

in terms of woman’s equality yet often in our homes it feels as if we’ve barely progressed. Women are disproportionately responsible for the majority of household chores all around the globe. For some, this isn’t a problem, but for many others, it factors highly into the happiness of their relationship. A recent poll found that more than 62% of adults (men and women) reported that sharing household chores is crucial to marital success. Here are some things you can try that will help you to divide the chores fairly between you and your partner.

Being chronically overwhelmed as a result of undiagnosed ADHD can not only lead to academic, marital, social, and occupational problems, it can also potentially affect our health. Roberta Waite (2010) cautions that ongoing daily stress can erode health and lead to diseases such as chronic fatigue syndrome and fibromyalgia.

While social agencies all have harassment policies few have any idea of the extent to which their clients are affected by mobbing. They don’t know the questions to ask or recognize mobbing when they see it. Prior to widespread understanding of spousal assault, abused women were counseled for marital problems and neurotic behavior. Unless the nature of abuse is spelled out and the dynamics widely dispersed and understood it is simply not recognized, no matter how obvious it appears in retrospect

Semua yang kukritik mengenai perkawinan bersumber dari satu hal. Yaitu, tidak setaranya relasi antara perempuan dan laki-laki. Di luar perkawinan, perempuan mendapat tekanan sangat besar untuk menikah. Tapi di dalam perkawinan, ia ditempatkan dalam posisi subordinat. Lelaki menjadi pemimpin.

Half of all first marriages end in divorce; as do two-thirds of second marriages, and nearly three-quarters of third marriages. Most non-marital relationships also end in separation. Of the relationships that do last, many are unhealthy and unhappy. Most relationships, in other words, fail. In some cases it is infidelity, abuse, or a clash in personality, beliefs, values, or life-plans that causes a relationship to fail. Many times, however, it is the result of one, or both partners, burdening the relationship with the fantasy that it will cure all their personal problems. This belief that a romantic relationship will unlock a life of happiness and fulfillment, the psychiatrist M. Scott Peck called the myth of romantic love.

This compartmentalization of standards is toxic to the credibility of the Christian witness. Many evangelicals have come to view politics the way a suburban husband views Las Vegas—a self-contained escape, a place where the rules and expectations of his everyday life do not apply. The problem is, what happens in politics doesn’t stay in politics. Everyone can see what these folks are doing. Just as you might stop taking marital advice from your neighbor if you saw cell phone footage of him paying for prostitutes and cocaine in Vegas, you might stop taking spiritual guidance from your neighbor if you saw him chanting “Hang Mike Pence!” at the Capitol Building.

Discussing your marital problems with others won’t do much benefit, their solution is as good as yours.

Most males are thinking that half of a child they've made belongs to them. But that's just wrong. Because they give only half of a plan for building the baby, and all the rest is done by mama alone. So, guys: think twice before saying "The half of this child is mine.

Most males are thinking that half of a child the made belongs to them. But that's just wrong. Because they give only half of a plan for building the baby, and all the rest is done by mama alone. So, guys: think twice before saying "The half of this child is mine." Die meisten Männer denken, dass ein halbes Kind, das sie gemacht haben, ihnen gehört. Aber das ist einfach falsch. Weil sie nur einen halben Plan für den Bau des Babys geben und der Rest von Mama alleine erledigt wird. Also, Leute: Überlegen Sie zweimal, bevor Sie sagen: "Die Hälfte dieses Kindes gehört mir.

MARITAL DISPUTES?? GETTING AFTER MARRIAGE LOVE PROBLEM?? GET IT SOLVED RIGHT AWAY. After marriage, couples need to give a lot of time to the family. It leaves them with less time for each other. Couples have to face challenges in their love marriage, but not to worry and using some easy remedies surely helps to get love marriage problem solution.

Peace doesn't mean that you will not have problems. Peace means that your problems will not have you. Dr. Tony Evans

starting with how it encourages mothers to view their children as antagonists, how it allows men to view women as always sexually available without any marital commitment or promise of stability required, and how it allows employers and society as a whole to treat the male body as the norm and female fertility as a problem to be solved—rather than a reality to structure social relations around.

Under the model of original monotheism we can draw three basic inferences. Figure 1.4. Decay of religions First, there is one decisive change—the move away from monotheism. This change has to be seen as a falling away, perhaps best understood as decay or corruption. Human beings turn away from God to something else: other gods, spirits, nature, even themselves. Apparently the God of the sky seemed too remote. In times of personal crises—a sick child, crop failure, marital problems—people believed that they needed more immediate help. Invoking the aid of fetishes or spirits seemed more potent. Thus God receded behind other spiritual powers. In biblical terms people worshiped the creation instead of the Creator. Second, there is no clear pattern in which this departure typically takes place. Monotheism could turn into henotheism, polytheism or animism. But one thing is certain: as monotheism was left behind, ritual and magic increased. This is not to say these elements do not occur within a fairly stable monotheistic context (of course they do!). However, once human beings abandon faith in one almighty, all-knowing God, the role that they play in attempting to find their own way in a world apparently dominated by spiritual forces becomes far more central, leading to an increase in spiritual manipulation techniques, such as magic and ritual. Third, once monotheism is abandoned, change usually continues to occur. Again, there is no mandatory sequence in which things rearrange themselves, but an increase in ritual and magic is most likely to be a part of it. Every once in a while throughout history, reform movements have called a culture back to a renewed awareness of God. Zoroastrianism and Islam are clear examples of such events. When they happen, even though there may be initial enthusiasm, chances are that there will also be an increase in tension between the idealists who are promoting the return to monotheism and those who do not feel free to give up their traditional faiths. This phenomenon may give rise to a serious tension between the ideal version of the religion and how its adherents actually practice it (they usually cling to rituals and veneration of spirits). In contrast to the neat pyramid associated with the evolutionary view (fig. 1.1), monotheism carries the liability of a tendency toward magic and ritual (fig. 1.3).

In a study I conducted of sixty-three preschoolers, those being raised in homes where there was great marital hostility had chronically elevated levels of stress hormones compared with the other children studied. We don’t know what the long-term repercussions of this stress will be for their health. But we do know that this biological indication of extreme stress was echoed in their behavior. We followed them through age fifteen and found that, compared with other children their age, these kids suffered far more from truancy, depression, peer rejection, behavioral problems (especially aggression), low achievement at school, and even school failure.

His mother had survived decades of marriage to his angry, disappointed, alcoholic father by developing what she called a “forgettery” instead of a memory. She woke up every day and forgot the day before.

Trouble in a marriage,” he later wrote, “is like monsoon water accumulating on a flat roof. You don’t realize it’s up there, but it gets heavier and heavier, until one day, with a great crash, the whole roof falls in on your head.

Then she called Matthew. He answered, "Where the fuck are you? I've been calling you for hours." She said, "I was asleep. Just woke up. What's the problem?" "Don't tell me you're still in your hotel room in your bed." "Didn't I say I just woke up? Still in bed. Needed some sleep. Just waking up. . . ." "Is that right?" . . . "Where are you right now?" "Antigua motherfucking Yacht Club. Room twenty-fucking-nine. Sitting on a . . . four-poster bed that has a damn mosquito net pulled back so I know I can see what the fuck I see. And I see an empty four-poster bed . . . But hell, maybe I'm wrong, because I know I didn't marry a goddamn liar. So I guess if I'm in your room and you're in the goddamn bed, just waking up, then either I am as blind as a fucking bat or you must be fucking invisible.

Treat marriage like a diamond necklace; if broken, fix it, but do not throw it away.

The completely opposite scenario occurs when one parent, usually the father, demands that the other parent, usually the mother, keep their child up late so that he can play with him or her. Not only does the child suffer, but it is the mother who is the unappreciated victim, because she is trying to maintain marital harmony and trying to keep her child well rested—and she can’t do both. Obviously this is not simply a child’s sleep problem but a family problem.

Potential problem as homelessness must be tackled on many fronts. Prevention is vital. Vocational and occupational job counseling and retraining; pre- and post-marital counseling; parental and family counseling; crisis management; work schedule options; residence options ​Some of the bill for retraining might be paid out of a tax on companies doing work on the Moon and importing workers and their families. The rehabilitation work might in part be done by OMOs, occupational maintenance organizations. What is needed is not job “insurance” (i.e. unemployment compensation) but job “assurance.” ​Those still falling through the more stubborn cracks can be provided storage lockers for what belongings they retain, lockers to which is attached a legal address for receipt of mail, and for listing of job applications. This host facility might provide cooking facilities and showers. ​Use of such a facility will bring with it a requirement to participate in retraining and rehabilitation programs. This is in everybody’s interest. “Tanstaafl still rules!” [There ain’t no such thing as a free lunch!”]

strife. Family conflict at ages 7–15 years predicts insomnia at age 18, and marital strife at age 9 months predicts a child’s sleep problems at 4½ years.

He wasn't entirely surprised to wake up the next morning with Sjurd pressed against his back, but was still cross enough to roll straight out of bed and go down to a solitary breakfast (because trying to stab his new husband through the throat with the butter knife would not have convinced anyone that the match was secure).

Gathering up all the stories on the continuum...I am inclined to think that we should stop calling nonmonogamy a marital problem and call it a marital culture instead.

When a man shares with a woman his marital/domestic problems, the kind of problems that seem never to be solved but only to morph into yet more complicated problems, like hair snarls proliferating, sympathy flows in one direction only. By instinct a woman knows it’s naive to expect the flow to reverse.