Margaret Cho Quotes

I was like, Am I gay? Am I straight? And I realized...I'm just slutty. Where's my parade?

Just because you are blind, and unable to see my beauty doesn't mean it does not exist.

I urge you all today, especially today during these times of chaos and war, to love yourself without reservations and to love each other without restraint. Unless you're into leather.

George Bush isn't Hitler. He could be if he applied himself.

I want Jesus to come back and say 'THATS NOT WHAT I MEANT'" -

If you are a woman, if you are a person of colour, if you are gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, if you are a person of size, if you are person of intelligence, if you are a person of integrity, then you are considered a minority in this world.

I am so beautiful, sometimes people weep when they see me. And it has nothing to do with what I look like really, it is just that I gave myself the power to say that I am beautiful, and if I could do that, maybe there is hope for them too. And the great divide between the beautiful and the ugly will cease to be. Because we are all what we choose.

I love heavily tattooed women. I imagine their lives are filled with sensuality and excess, madness and generosity, impulsive natures and fights. They look like they have endured much pain and sadness, yet have the ability to transcend all of it by documenting it on the body

I have so much hate that it has turned into love.

Sometimes when we are generous in small, barely detectable ways it can change someone's life forever.

Most conservatives also believe in the death penalty, but not abortion, which proves they like to procrastinate.

strange, there's so much religion in the world, but only enough to make us fight over who is right, not enough to make us love one another.

Life is a tragedy for those who feel and a comedy for those who think.

If we have the opportunity to be generous with our hearts, ourselves, we have no idea of the depth and breadth of love's reach.

If you are a woman, if you're a person of colour, if you are gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, if you are a person of size, if you are a person od intelligence, if you are a person of integrity, then you are considered a minority in this world. And it's going to be really hard to find messages of self-love and support anywhere. Especially women's and gay men's culture. It's all about how you have to look a certain way or else you're worthless. You know when you look in the mirror and you think 'oh, I'm so fat, I'm so old, I'm so ugly', don't you know, that's not your authentic self? But that is billions upon billions of dollars of advertising, magazines, movies, billboards, all geared to make you feel shitty about yourself so that you will take your hard earned money and spend it at the mall on some turn-around creme that doesn't turn around shit. When you don't have self-esteem you will hesitate before you do anything in your life. You will hesitate to go for the job you really wanna go for, you will hesitate to ask for a raise, you will hesitate to call yourself an American, you will hesitate to report a rape, you will hesitate to defend yourself when you are discriminated against because of your race, your sexuality, your size, your gender. You will hesitate to vote, you will hesitate to dream. For us to have self-esteem is truly an act of revolution and our revolution is long overdue.

I’m not going to die because I failed as someone else. I’m going to succeed as myself.

Love is the big booming beat which covers up the noise of hate.

I have learned to love that which is meant to harm me, so that I can stand in the way of those who are less strong. I can take the bullets for those who aren't able to.

These days, I strive to be a bitch, because not being one sucks. Not being a bitch means not having your voice heard. Not being a bitch means you agree with all the bullshit. Not being a bitch means you don't appreciate all the other bitches who have come before you. Not being a bitch means since Eve ate that apple, we will forever have to pay for her bitchiness with complacence, obedience, acceptance, closed eyes, and opened legs.

People drain me, even the closest of friends, and I find loneliness to be the best state in the union to live in.

Whenever anyone has called me a bitch, I have taken it as a compliment. To me, a bitch is assertive, unapologetic, demanding, intimidating, intelligent, fiercely protective, in control — all very positive attributes. But it’s not supposed to be a compliment, because there’s that stupid double standard: When men are aggressive and dominant, they are admired, but when a woman possesses those same qualities, she is dismissed and called a bitch. These days, I strive to be a bitch, because not being one sucks. Not being a bitch means not having your voice heard. Not being a bitch means you agree with all the bullshit. Not being a bitch means you don’t appreciate all the other bitches who have come before you. Not being a bitch means since Eve ate that apple, we will forever have to pay for her bitchiness with complacence, obedience, acceptance, closed eyes, and open legs.

Am I gay, am I straight? No, I'm just slutty. So, where's my parade? What about slut pride.

When people think the world of you, be careful with them.

Whenever anyone has called me a bitch, I have taken it as a compliment. To me, a bitch is assertive, unapologetic, demanding, intimidating, intelligent, fiercely protective, in control—all very positive attributes. But it’s not supposed to be a compliment, because there’s that old, stupid double standard: When men are aggressive and dominant, they are admired, but when a woman possesses those same qualities, she is dismissed and called a bitch.

Miley Cyrus made some chinky eyes Standing behind an Asian guy I don’t know if this should fly As if there wasn’t enough to despise I wasn’t necessarily a fan of Her, her dad, or Hannah Montana I tend to prefer the songs of Rihanna Racism against Asians is simply bananas! Oh Miley! Chinky eyes make you look wily prejudice isn’t thought of so highly it doesn’t make us all smiley Why is there nothing that Asians can do? To make fun of other races as easily as you Why isn’t racism against Asians taboo? Why are we always so racially screwed! All you have to do is pull at your face To make your eyelids resemble our race This kind of joke has no proper place Miley Cyrus is a disgrace!

We must know who we are, so we can know what we want, so we don’t end up wanting the wrong thing and get it and realize we don’t want it, because by then it is too late.

Everything is going to be fine in the end, and if it's not fine, it's not the end.

We didn’t get along, but he convinced me we did. He made me think that I had a fear of intimacy, when in reality I just hated his goddamn guts.

I've spent so much time feeling ugly and being treated as ugly as a result. But I changed my attitude and said, “I’m beautiful because I love everybody as much as I can. I’m beautiful because I have wonderful friends. And I’m beautiful because I say I am. I’ve earned it, and I’m gonna be it.

What people need to understand is that pussy is the Front Door of Life

If you are generous with your heart, you have no idea of the depth & breadth of love's reach.

My very presence as an Asian American woman talking about race and sexuality is a political statement.

I just want to love everyone. I don’t care if that sounds stupid. I want to love everyone.

If you’re going to be wrong, at least be hot.

she’s a ho in sheep’s clothing, and it’s about time she told the truth, the ho truth, and nothing but the truth.

Strange, there’s so much religion in the world, but only enough to make us fight over who is right, not enough to make us love one another

Many of my contemporaries are atheists, and for good reasons. God isn’t really the problem. Some of His followers are big assholes

He must have been mad, because when things happen to women, we are supposed to remain silent. Our shame should make us want to act like nothing happened, maintain the decorum. I refuse to be silent, therefore I become some sort of criminal. I think if we told our stories and said out loud what has happened to us, to warn other women, to comfort those who have had the same things happen to them, to show that we are not alone, the world would suddenly become a bigger and better place.

When the crowd is with you, the jokes are fresh, your timing is just right, and the moon is in the seventh house and Jupiter aligns with Mars. You are exactly where you should be, and there is nothing better. Comedy is a rare gift from the gods, an awesome invention. It propels you right into the heart of the universe. No wonder all the great comedians had such destructive private lives. Lenny Bruce had to shoot up, Richard Pryor had to freebase. Sam Kinison was just as abusive towards himself as he was to the crowd. After you get the audience into that kind of frenzy, and you are being worshiped like the false idol you are, how do you leave the stage and transition back into real life? How can you just come down? How can you ease back into mortality? What will you do for an encore? What is there left to do but set yourself on fire?

I have been a longtime perpetrator of hate crimes against myself, and I am turning myself in. I have had enough.

I don't know if I'm a bottom because it turns me on, or if I'm a bottom because I'm lazy.

There's this creepy connection between leather sex, Star Trek, and the Renaissance Fair.

Toxic shock was ominous because they never really said how you got it, or why, or what happened when you did get it. It just struck you dead in the cunt.

I will stop living life for a future happiness that does not and may never exist. I will live for now and stop wasting my time. Ever moment I live can be as beautiful as a fantasy. Every second of life is precious. I vow to stop wasting my time on these dreams that turn my life into a nightmare. I vow to live, to be mindful, to pay attention to life and hold it hard to my heart. Every beat another second going by.

Life is a tragedy for those who feel and a comedy for those who think. It is vital to mourn for the victims of this government, but not at the expense of losing our sense of humor. Our ability to laugh coincides directly with our ability to fight. If we can make fun of it, we can transcend it.

The saying "It's not over 'til the fat lady sings" is erroneous, because women who are fat are never listened to.

Schadenfreude, delighting in the misfortune of others. I often wonder why there is no equivalent term in English. There should be, considering it's a great American pastime.

By allowing and legitimizing different types of families, we make them relevant, attainable and honorable, thereby strengthening the moral fabric of the nation and making the ideal American family setting available to all who wish to be a part of one.