Mal And Alina Quotes

I don't care if you danced naked on the roof of the Little Palace with him. I love you, Alina, even the part of you that loved him.

Mal,” I whispered into the night. “What?” “Thanks for finding me.” I wasn’t sure if I was dreaming, but somewhere in the dark, I thought I heard him whisper, “Always.

I have loved you all my life, Mal,” I whispered through my tears. “There is no end to our story.

A moment later the boy whispered, "I don't think you're ugly." "Shhhh!" the girl hissed. But hidden by the deep shadows of the cupboard, she smiled

You are all I’ve ever wanted,” he said. “You are the whole of my heart.

You’re mad,” I said. “You know what he can do. No prize is worth that.” Sturmhond grinned. “That remains to be seen.” “The Darkling will hunt you for the rest of your days.” “Then you and I will have something in common, won’t we? Besides, I like to have powerful enemies. Makes me feel important.” Mal crossed his arms and considered the privateer. “I can’t decide if you’re crazy or stupid.” “I have so many good qualities,” Sturmhond said. “It can be hard to choose.

Mal snickered. "What's so funny?" "I just pictured the Darkling being cornered by a sweaty duchess trying to have her way with him.

I would have been different too, without you. Weaker, reckless.” He smiled slightly. “Afraid of the dark.” He brushed the tears from my cheeks. I wasn’t sure when they’d started. “But no matter who or what I was, I would have been yours.

C’mon,” he said. “One foot in front of the other. You know how it’s done” “You’re interfering with my plan.” “Oh really?” “Yes. Faint, get trampled, grievous injuries all around.” “That sounds like a brilliant plan.” “Ah, but if I’m horribly maimed, I won’t be able to cross the Fold.” Mal nodded slowly. “I see. I can shove you under a cart if that would help.

Do I get to wear a fancy hat?" "The fanciest," I said. "And possibly a cape." "Will there be plumes?" "Oh, yes. Several." "Then I'm in.

I seem to be immune," I replied. "And luckily, I know what a real kiss should feel like." I left him standing in the middle of the square. I could get used to making Mal blush.

I'll get them out and come back. I promise." "On your word as a cutthroat and a pirate?" He touched my cheek once, briefly. "Privateer." Another explosion rocked the grounds. "Let's go!" shouted Mal. As we sprinted into the tunnel, I glanced back and saw Nikolai silhouetted against the purple twilight. I wondered if I'd ever see him again.

Tell him you see me when he takes you in his arms

Get moving. We need to find that stag so I don’t have to chop your head off.” “I never said you had to chop my head off,” I grumbled, rubbing the sleep from my eyes and stumbling after him. “Run you through with a sword, then? Firing squad?” “I was thinking something quieter, like maybe a nice poison.” “All you said was that I had to kill you. You didn’t say how.” I stuck my tongue out at his back, but I was glad to see him so energized, and I suppose it was a good thing that he could joke about it all. At least, I hoped he was joking.

What do you want, Mal?" The room seemed very quiet. "Don't ask me that." "Why not?" "Because it can't be." "I want to hear it anyway." He blew out a long breath. "Say goodnight. Tell me to leave, Alina." "No." "You need an army. You need a crown." "I do." He laughed then. "I know I'm supposed to say something noble--I want a united Ravka free from the Fold. I want the Darkling in the ground, where he can never hurt you or anyone else again." He gave a rueful shake of his head. "But I guess I'm the same selfish ass I've always been. For all my talk of vows and honor, what I really want is to put you up against that wall and kiss you until you forget you ever knew another man's name. So tell me to go, Alina. Because I can't give you a title or an army or any of the things you need.

I wasn't afraid of you, Alina. I was afraid of losing you. That girl you were becoming didn't need me anymore, but she's who you were always meant to be." "Power hungry? Ruthless?" "Strong." He looked away. "Luminous. And maybe a little ruthless too. That's what it takes to rule. Ravka is broken, Alina. I think it always has been. The girl I saw in the chapel could change that.

You let Mal come back for me. After you gave me your vow." "He broke away," said Tamar. I lifted a brow. The day Mal could break Tolya's hold was indeed a day of miracles. Tolya hung his head and heaved his huge shoulders. "Forgive me," he said. "I couldn't be the one to keep him from you.

They wanted a Grisha queen. Mal wanted a commoner queen. And what did I want? Peace for Ravka. A chance to sleep easy in my bed without fear. An end to the guilt and dread that I woke to every morning. There were old wants too, to be loved for who I was, not what I could do, to lie in a meadow with a boy’s arms around me and watch the wind move the clouds.

….For all my talk of vows and honor, what I really want is to put you up against that wall and kiss you until you forget you ever knew another man’s name. So tell me to go, Alina. Because I can’t give you a title or an army or any of the things you need.

Mal shouted. I heard scuffling behind me and knew Tolya had taken hold of him. “Alina!” His voice was raw white wood, torn from the heart of a tree. I did not turn.

I told him the story of the day I'd been mending pottery with one of the maids in the kitchen at Keramzin, waiting for him to return from one of the hunting trips that had taken him from home more and more frequently. I'd been fifteen, standing at the counter, vainly trying to glue together the jagged pieces of a blue cup. When I saw him crossing the fields, I ran to the doorway and waved. He caught sight of me and broke into a jog. I had crossed the yard to him slowly, watching him draw closer, baffled by the way my heart was skittering around in my chest. Then he'd picked me up and swung me in a circle, and I'd clung to him, breathing in his sweet, familiar smell, shocked by how much I'd missed him. Dimly, I'd been aware that I still had a shard of that blue cup in my hand, that it was digging into my palm, but I didn't want to let go. When he finally set me down and ambled off into the kitchen to find his lunch, I had stood there, my palm dripping in blood, my head still spinning, knowing that everything had changed. Ana Kuya had scolded me for getting blood on the clean kitchen floor. She'd bandaged my hand and told me it would heal. But I knew it would just go on hurting.

Then he cupped my cheek, his thumb tracing my lip."You are all I've ever wanted," he said. "You are the whole of my heart.

At Keramzin, I had a doll I made out of an old sock that I used to talk to whenever he was away hunting. Maybe that would make me feel better." "You were an odd little girl." "You have no idea. What did you and Tolya play with?" "The skulls of our enemies." I saw the glint in her eye, and we both burst out laughing.

The boy held her tighter, murmured soft words to lull her to sleep. "It's only a nightmare," he whispered. "The dreams will stop." He didn't understand. The dreams were the only place it was safe to use her power now, and she longed for them.

I'd like to think of myself as delightfully complex.

I told them you hate herring.” “Why?” “And that you love plum cake. And that Ana Kuya took a switch to you when you ruined your spring slippers jumping in puddles.” I winced. “Why would you tell them all that?” “I wanted to make you human,” he said. “All they see when they look at you is the Sun Summoner. They see a threat, another powerful Grisha like the Darkling. I want them to see a daughter or a sister or a friend. I want them to see Alina.

He shoved me belowdecks, but not before I heard his parting words to Mal —“I’ll be certain you hear it when I make her scream.

Who are you?” Mal asked furiously. “That’s a complicated question.” “Actually, it’s pretty straightforward,” I said, springing to my feet. “But it does require telling the truth. Something you seem thoroughly incapable of.” “Oh, I can do it,” Sturmhond said, shaking water from one of his boots. “I’m just not very good at it.

I’m ambitious, Alina. I’m driven. But I hope … I hope I still know the difference between right and wrong.” He hesitated. “I offered you freedom, and I meant it. If tomorrow you decided to run back to Novyi Zem with Mal, I’d put you on a ship and let the sea take you.” He held my gaze, his hazel eyes steady. “But I’d be sorry to see you go.

What is wrong with you?” I whispered furiously. “Nothing,” he said, surprised. “I feel great.” “But how can you be so…so jaunty?” “Jaunty? I’ve never been jaunty. I hope never to be jaunty.

Your highness—” “Nikolai,” he corrected. “But I’ve also been known to answer to ‘sweetheart’ or ‘handsome.’” Mal whirled, but I silenced him with a pleading look. “You need to stop that right now, Nikolai,” I said. “Or I’ll knock those princely teeth out myself.

If you want to lie to me, go ahead. But I'm not going to pretend to believe you." "Why not?" asked Sturmhond, stepping into the tent. "It's only common courtesy.

I grabbed the lapels of his coat, tears filling my eyes. "Don't tell me this is all happening for a reason...Or that it's going to be okay. Don't tell me you're ready to die."... He met my gave, his blue eyes steady, "It's not going to be okay." He brushed hair back from my cheeks and cupped my face in his rough hands. "None of this is happening for a reason." He skimmed his lips over mine. "And Saints help me, Alina, I want to live forever." He kissed me again, and this time, he didn't stop

So you told him I had a goiter?" I whispered incredulously. "I had to say something. And it makes you quite a tragic figure. Pretty girl, giant growth, you know." I punched him hard in the arm. "Ow! Hey, in some countries, goiters are considered very fashionable." "Do they like eunuchs, too? Because I can arrange that." "So bloodthirsty!" "My goiter makes me cranky.

As we pushed off from the fountain, one of the washerwomen leaned forward, practically spilling out of her dress. "If you ever get tired of skin and bones," she called to Mal," I've got something to tempt you." I stiffened. Mal glanced over his shoulder. Slowly, he looked her up and down. "No," he said flatly. "You don't.

Mal,” I whispered into the night. “What?” “Thanks for finding me.” I wasn’t sure if I was dreaming, but somewhere in the dark, I thought I heard him whisper, “Always.

Just you and me." Mal said. "Really?" "It's always just you and me, Alina.

I thought that I’d given up on Mal. I thought the love I’d had for him belonged to the past, to the foolish, lonely girl I never wanted to be again. I’d tried to bury that girl and the love she’d felt, just as I’d tried to bury my power. But I wouldn’t make that mistake again. Whatever burned between us was just as bright, just as undeniable. The moment our lips met, I knew with pure and piercing certainty that I would have waited for him forever.

Mal took a single tentative step toward me. Then he closed the space between us in two long strides. One hand slid around my waist, the other cupped my face. Gently, he titled my mouth up to his. "Come back to me," he said softly. He drew me to him, but as his lips met mine, something flickered in the corner of my eye.

Thanks," I mumbled as we crossed the square, heading toward our boardinghouse. "For what?" I rolled my eyes. "For defending my honor, you dullard." He yanked me beneath a shadowed awning. I had a moment's panic when I thought he'd spotted trouble, but then his arms were around me and his lips were on mine. When he finally drew back, my cheeks were warm and my legs had gone wobbly. "Just to be clear," he said, "I'm not really interested in defending your honor." "Understood," I managed, hoping I didn't sound too ridiculously breathless.

I'm not a monster, Alina. Despite what you have heard.

The boy and the girl had both known loss, and their grief did not leave them. Sometimes he would find her standing by a window, fingers playing in the beams of sunlight that streamed through the glass, or sitting on the front steps of the orphanage, staring at the stump of the oak next to the drive. Then he would go to her, draw her close, and lead her to the shores of Trivka's pond, where the insects buzzed and the grass grew high and sweet, where old wounds might be forgotten. She saw sadness in the boy too. Though the woods still welcomed him, he was separate from them now, the bond born into his bones burned away in the same moment that he'd given up his life for her.

The sweet roll smelled divine, and I thanked him, prancing my way back to Mal and feeling quite pleased with myself. He grabbed my arm and pulled me down a muddy walkway between two houses. “What do you think you’re doing?” “Nobody saw me. He just thought I was another peasant girl.” “We can’t take risks like that.” “So you don’t want a bite?” He hesitated. “I didn’t say that.” “I was going to give you a bite, but since you don’t want one, I’ll just have to eat the whole thing myself.” Mal grabbed for the roll, but I danced out of reach, dodging left and right, away from his hands. I could see his surprise, and I loved it. I wasn’t the same clumsy girl he remembered. “You are a brat,” he growled and took another swipe. “Ah, but I’m a brat with a sweet roll.

There are rumors that you died on the Fold. People have been selling off parts of you all over Ravka and West Ravka for months. You’re quite the good luck charm.” “Those are supposed to be my fingers?” “Knuckles, toes, fragments of rib.” I felt sick. I looked around, hoping to spot Mal, needing to see something familiar. “Of course,” Nikolai continued, “if half of those were really your toes, you’d have about a hundred feet. But superstition is a powerful thing.

I have loved you all my life, Mal. There is no end to our story.

I'm sorry it took me so long to see you, Alina. But I see you now.

Mal adjusted his hood to better hide his face and tipped up his mask, then reached forward and did the same with mine. He leaned in. Our jackal masks bumped snouts. I started to laugh. "Next time, different costumes," he grumbled. "Bigger hats?

Mal. I never really fit in the way that you did. I never really belonged anywhere.” “You belonged with me,” he said quietly. “No, Mal. Not really. Not for a long time.” He looked at me then, and his eyes were deep blue in the twilight. “Did you miss me, Alina? Did you miss me when you were gone?” “Every day,” I said honestly. “I missed you every hour. And you know what the worst part was? It caught me completely by surprise. I’d catch myself walking around to find you, not for any reason, just out of habit, because I’d seen something that I wanted to tell you about or because I wanted to hear your voice. And then I’d realize that you weren’t there anymore, and every time, every single time, it was like having the wind knocked out of me. I’ve risked my life for you. I’ve walked half the length of Ravka for you, and I’d do it again and again and again just to be with you, just to starve with you and freeze with you and hear you complain about hard cheese every day. So don’t tell me we don’t belong together,” he said fiercely. He was very close now, and my heart was suddenly hammering in my chest. “I’m sorry it took me so long to see you, Alina. But I see you now.

My cheeks were burning. “Why didn’t you say something?” “What could I say? And when? I barely see you anymore.” “I thought you wanted to go.” “I wanted you to ask me to stay.” My throat felt tight.

On the fourth day, we came upon a cavern with a perfectly still pool that gave the illusion of a night sky, its depths sparkling with tiny luminescent fish. Mal and I were slightly ahead of the others. He dipped his hand in, then yelped and drew back. “They bite.” “Serves you right,” I said. “‘Oh, look, a dark lake full of something shiny. Let me put my hand in it.’” “I can’t help being delicious,” he said, that familiar cocky grin flashing across his face like light over water. Then he seemed to catch himself. He shouldered his pack, and I knew he was about to move away from me. I wasn’t sure where the words came from: “You didn’t fail me, Mal.” He wiped his damp hand on his thigh. “We both know better.” “We’re going to be traveling together for who knows how long. Eventually, you’re going to have to talk to me.” “I’m talking to you right now.” “See? Is this so terrible?” “It wouldn’t be,” he said, gazing at me steadily, “if all I wanted to do was talk.” My cheeks heated. You don’t want this, I told myself. But I felt my edges curl like a piece of paper held too close to fire. “Mal—” “I need to keep you safe, Alina, to stay focused on what matters. I can’t do that if . . .” He let out a long breath. “You were meant for more than me, and I’ll die fighting to give it to you. But please don’t ask me to pretend it’s easy.” He plunged ahead into the next cave. I looked down into the glittering pond, the whorls of light in the water still settling after Mal’s brief touch. I could hear the others making their noisy way through the cavern. “Oncat scratches me all the time,” said Harshaw as he ambled up beside me. “Oh?” I asked hollowly. “Funny thing is, she likes to stay close.” “Are you being profound, Harshaw?” “Actually, I was wondering, if I ate enough of those fish, would I start to glow?” I shook my head. Of course one of the last living Inferni would have to be insane. I fell into step with the others and headed into the next tunnel. “Come on, Harshaw,” I called over my shoulder. Then the first explosion hit.

They have an ordinary life, full of ordinary things - if love can ever be called that.

I rolled my eyes. "For defending my honor, you dullard." He yanked me beneath a shadowed awning. I had a moment's panic when I thought he'd spotted trouble, but then his arms were around me and his lips were pressed to mine. When he finally drew back, my cheeks were warm and my legs had gone wobbly. "Just to be clear," he said, "I'm not really interested in defending your honor." "Understood," I managed, hoping I didn't sound too ridiculously breathless.

We would take our chances, and if we failed, there would be no more options. I would murder the only person I’d ever loved and who had ever loved me. I’d dive back into battle wearing his bones.

He looked at me then, and his eyes were deep blue in the twilight. “Did you miss me, Alina? Did you miss me when you were gone?" "Every day," I said honestly. "I missed you every hour. And you know what the worst part was? It caught me completely by surprise. I'd catch myself walking around to find you, not for any reason, just out of habit, because I'd seen something I wanted to tell you about, or because I just wanted to hear your voice. And then I'd realize that you weren't there anymore, and every time, every single time, it was like having the wind knocked out of me. I've risked my life for you. I've walked half the length of Ravka for you, and I'd do it again and again and again just to be with you, just to starve with you and freeze with you and hear you complain about hard cheese every day. So don't tell me we don't belong together," he said fiercely. He was very close now, and my heart was suddenly hammering in my chest. "I'm sorry it took me so long to see you, Alina. But I see you now.

It’s probably for the best, I told myself. How would I have said goodbye to Mal anyway? Thanks for being my best friend and making my life bearable. Oh, and sorry I fell in love with you for a while there. Make sure to write!

Anyway, I think I made a bit of progress." "How did you manage that?" "Well, they liked that you served in the First Army, and that you saved their prince's life." "After he risked his own life rescuing us?" "I may have taken some liberties with the details." "Oh, Nikolai will love that. Is there more?" "I told them you hate herring." "Why?" "And that you love plum cake. And that Ana Kuya took a switch to you when you ruined your spring slippers in puddles." I winced. "Why would you tell them all that?' "I wanted to make you human," he said. "All they see when they look at you is the Sun Summoner. They see a threat, another powerful Grisha like the Darkling. I want them to see a daughter or a sister or a friend. I want them to see Alina." I felt a lump rise in my throat. "Do you practice being wonderful?" "Daily," he said with a grin. Then he winked. "But I prefer 'useful.

THE SERVANTS CALLED them malenchki, little ghosts, because they were the smallest and the youngest, and because they haunted the Duke’s house like giggling phantoms, darting in and out of rooms, hiding in cupboards to eavesdrop, sneaking into the kitchen to steal the last of the summer peaches.

If I'd had my powers back even for a second, I would have burned the world to a cinder.

Fine," he said with a weary shrug, "Make me your villain.

I shivered and rubbed my hands over my arms. “I hate it when you talk like that. You sound just like the Darkling.” “If you ever have trouble telling us apart, look for the person who isn’t torturing you or trying to kill Mal. That will be me.

​Alina: But why take on that mark? Mal: It's a promise to be better thab I was. It's a vow that if I can't be anything else to you, at least I can be a weapon in your hand. And I guess it's a reminder that wanting and deserving aren't the same thing.

I was happy,” I admitted. “In that moment, I was happy. I'm not like you, Mal. I never really fit in the way that you did. I never belonged anywhere." "You belonged with me," he said quietly. "No, Mal. Not really. Not for a long time.

The news coming out of Os Alta was still a tangle, and we hadn't had word of Misha's mother yet. I knew he must be hopeful, but he hadn't said a word about it, just solemnly vowed to watch over Mal in my absence. "Read him religious parables," I whispered to Misha. "He loves that." I barely dodged the pillow Mal threw across the room.

For a life of the kind you and I have never known and will never know— quiet, peace, the surety of love.” “There is nothing sure about love. Do you think love will protect you when the Fjerdans come to capture the Stormwitch?” She didn’t. But maybe she wanted to believe there was more to life than fear and being feared. She yanked down the shade and tapped the roof. The coach travelled on, up the cramped cart track in slow switchbacks. At last, they rattled to a stop. “Stay here,” she said, hooking his shackles to the seat. She descended from the coach, closing the door behind her. Mal and Alina stood on the sanatorium’s stairs, but when Alina saw Zoya, she smiled and raced down the steps with arms open. Zoya blinked away an embarrassing prickle of tears. She hadn’t known how Alina might greet her, given the circumstances. She let herself be hugged. As always, Ravka’s Saint smelled of paint and pine. “Is he in there?” Alina asked. “He is.” “You bring me the worst gifts.” The tabby had returned from its sojourn and was twining through Misha’s legs. It padded over to Zoya. “Hello, Oncat,” she murmured, hefting the cat into her arms and feeling the comforting rumble of its purr.

He raised his hand as if to plead the case, then dropped them helplessly. "I feel you slipping away from me, and I don't know how to stop it.

I have loved you all my life, Mal," I whispered through my tears. "There is no end to our story.

The less you say, the more weight your words will carry. Don't argue. Never deign to deny. Meet insults with laughter.

This life is over. Maybe I'll be smarter in the next one." I snorted. "We'll see. We're going to have to choose new names, you know." "Misha is already making a list of suggestions." "Oh, Saints." "You have nothing to complain about. Apparently I am to be Dmitri Dumkin." "Suits you." "I should warn you that I'm keeping a tab of all your insults so that I can reward you when I'm healed." "Easy with the threats, Dumkin. Maybe I'll tell the Apparat all about your miraculous recovery, and he'll turn you into a Saint too." "He can try," said Mal. "I don't intend to waste my days in holy pursuits." "No?" "No," he said as he drew me closer. "I have to spend the rest of my life finding ways to deserve a certain white-haired girl. She's very prickly, occasionally puts goose dropping in my shoes or tries to kill me." "Sounds fatiguing," I managed as his lips met mine. "She's worth it. And one day maybe she'll let me chase her into a chapel." I shuddered. "I don't like chapels." "I did tell Ana Kuya I would marry you." I laughed. "You remember that?" "Alina," he said and kissed the scar on my palm, "I remember everything.

Did you miss me, Alina? Did you miss me when you were gone?” “Every day,” I said honestly. “ I missed you every hour. And you know what the worst part was? It caught me completely by surprise. I’d catch myself walking around to find you, not for any reason, just out of habit, because I’d seen something that I wanted to tell you about or because I wanted to hear your voice. And then I’d realize that you weren’t there anymore, and every time, every single time, it was like having the wind knocked out of me. I’ve risked my life for you. I’ve walked half the length of Ravka for you, and I’d do it again and again and again just to be with you, just to starve with you and freeze with you and hear you complain about hard cheese every day. So don’t tell me we don’t belong together,” he said fiercely. He was very close now, and my heart was suddenly hammering in my chest. “I’m sorry it took me so long to see you, Alina. But I see you now.

I have to spend the rest of my life finding ways to deserve a certain white-haired girl. She’s very prickly, occasionally puts goose droppings in my shoes or tries to kill me.” “Sounds fatiguing,” I managed as his lips met mine. “She’s worth it. And one day maybe she’ll let me chase her into a chapel.

A boy leans over me: ruddy hair, a broken nose. He reminds me of the too-clever fox, another one of Ana Kuya's stories, smart enough to get out of a one trap, but too foolish to realise he won't escape a second.

I want to kiss you,” he said. “You already kissed me,” I replied with a nervous laugh. A smile tugged at his lips. “I want to kiss you again,” he amended. “Oh,” I breathed. His mouth was inches from mine. My heart leapt into a panicked gallop. This is Nikolai, I reminded myself. Pure calculation. I didn’t even think I wanted him to kiss me. But my pride was still smarting from Mal’s rejection. Hadn’t he said he’d kissed plenty of girls? “I want to kiss you,” Nikolai said. “But I won’t. Not until you’re thinking of me instead of trying to forget him.” I shoved backward and lurched awkwardly to my feet, feeling flushed and embarrassed. “Alina—” “At least now I know you don’t always say the right thing,” I muttered.

I've covered almost two hundred miles on horseback. I haven't had a good night's sleep in a week, and I've nearly been killed twice. So before I do anything else, you're going to have to tell me who you are and why it's so very important that you get my clothes off.

None of this is your fault, Mal. None of it.” He lowered his head, setting his forehead against mine. “I won’t let him hurt you.” We both knew he was powerless to stop it, but the truth of that was too painful, so I just said, “I know.” “You’re humoring me,” he said with the hint of a grin. “You require a lot of coddling.” He pressed his lips to the top of my head. “We’ll find a way out of this, Alina. We always do.

You're lucky you didn't get shot," Mal said angrily... "It was worth it," I replied. "Besides, no one's going to shoot the Sun Summoner." "You just punched a prince, Alina. I guess we can add one more act of treason to our list." I shook out my sore hand. My knuckles smarted. "First of all, are we so sure he really is a prince? And second, you're just jealous." "Of course I'm jealous. I thought I was going to get to punch him. That isn't the point.

Maybe I would wake tomorrow and find that it had all been a dream, that Alexei was still alive and Mal was unhurt, that no one had tried to kill me, that I’d never met the King and Queen or seen the Apparat, or felt the Darkling’s hand on the nape of my neck. Maybe I would wake to smell the campfires burning, safe in my own clothes, on my little cot, and I could tell Mal all about this strange and terrifying, but very beautiful, dream. I rubbed my thumb over the scar in my palm and heard Mal’s voice saying, “We’ll be okay, Alina. We always are.” “I hope so, Mal,” I whispered into my pillow and let my tears carry me to sleep.

Are you angry?” I whispered as he led me across the cobblestones. I could see Nikolai on the other end of the square, already chatting with a group of local dignitaries. “With you? No. But Nikolai and I are going to have words when he isn’t surrounded by an armed guard.” “If it makes you feel any better, I kicked him.” Mal laughed. “You did?” “Twice. Does that help?” “Actually, yes.” “I’ll stomp on his foot tonight at dinner.” That fell well outside the kicking prohibition. “So, no heart flutters or swooning, even in the arms of a royal prince?” He was teasing, but I heard the uncertainty beneath his words. “I seem to be immune,” I replied. “And luckily, I know what a real kiss should feel like.” I left him standing in the middle of the square. I could get used to making Mal blush.

I can tell what you're up to," I said once when he returned to the head of the line. "What's that?" "You pop back there when someone's lagging, start up a conversation. You ask David about the properties of phosphor or Nadia about her freckles-" "I have never asked Nadia about her freckles." "Or something. Then gradually you start to pick up the pace so that they're walking faster." "It seems to work better than jabbing them with a stick," he said. "Less fun." "My jabbing arm is tired.

I know you’re scared. I am, too. But we’re going to do this, and we’re going to be fine. We always are.

You know, for two people with a love eternal, you're awfully insecure," Nikolai said.

Your power serves you because that is it's purpose, because it cannot help but serve you.

Just you and me”, Mal said. “Really?” “It’s always just you and me, Alina.

But I missed the girl who had shown the stag mercy, who had been strong enough to turn away from the lure of power, who had believed in something more. Another casualty of this war.

I was happy,” I admitted. “In that moment, I was happy. I’m not like you, Mal. I never really fit in the way that you did. I never really belonged anywhere.” “You belonged with me,” he said quietly. “No, Mal. Not really. Not for a long time.” He looked at me then, and his eyes were deep blue in the twilight. “Did you miss me, Alina? Did you miss me when you were gone?

I ran my finger over one of the pier’s sleek planks. “Is that why you stayed away so long? Why you became Sturmhond?” “I don’t know if there’s just one reason. I guess I never felt like I belonged here, so I tried to make a place where I could belong.” “I never felt like I fit in anywhere either,” I admitted. Except with Mal. I pushed the thought away. Then I frowned. “You know what I hate about you?” He blinked, startled. “No.” “You always say the right thing.” “And you hate that?” “I’ve seen the way you change personas, Nikolai. You’re always what everyone needs you to be. Maybe you never felt like you belonged, or maybe you’re just saying that to make the poor, lonely orphan girl like you more.” “So you do like me?” I rolled my eyes. “Yes, when I don’t want to stab you.” “It’s a start.” “No it isn’t.” He turned to me. In the half-light, his hazel eyes looked like chips of amber. “I’m a privateer, Alina,” he said quietly. “I’ll take whatever I can get.

Going to miss this,” he said as he kissed my cheeks, my jaw, my eyelids. “The way you taste.” He set his lips to the hollow beneath my ear. “The way you smell.” His hands slid up my back. “The way you feel.” My breath hitched as his hips settled against mine. Then he drew back, searching my eyes. “I wanted more for you,” he said. “A white veil in your hair. Vows we could keep.” “A proper wedding night? Just tell me this isn’t goodbye. That’s the only vow I need.” “I love you, Alina.

Zoya poked me in the arm with one long finger. “He hasn’t been with anyone, you idiot. Do you know what the girls back at the White Cathedral called him? Beznako.” A lost cause. “It’s funny,” Zoya said contemplatively. “I understand why the Darkling and Nikolai want your power. But Mal looks at you like you’re … well, like you’re me.” “No he doesn’t,” said Tolya. “He watches her the way Harshaw watches fire. Like he’ll never have enough of her. Like he’s trying to capture what he can before she’s gone.

—Mañana a esta hora estaremos sentados en el puerto de Os Kervo, mirando el océano y bebiendo kvas. Miré a Dubrov, que se balanceaba hacia delante y hacia atrás, y sonreí. —¿Y Dubrov? —Solo tú y yo —dijo Mal. —¿En serio? —Siempre seremos solo tú y yo, Alina.

I was happy,” I admitted. “In that moment, I was happy. I’m not like you, Mal. I never really fit in the way that you did. I never really belonged anywhere.” “You belonged with me,” he said quietly. “No, Mal. Not really. Not for a long time.” He looked at me then, and his eyes were deep blue in the twilight. “Did you miss me, Alina? Did you miss me when you were gone?” “Every day,” I said honestly. “I missed you every hour. And you know what the worst part was? It caught me completely by surprise. I’d catch myself walking around to find you, not for any reason, just out of habit, because I’d seen something that I wanted to tell you about or because I wanted to hear your voice. And then I’d realize that you weren’t there anymore, and every time, every single time, it was like having the wind knocked out of me. I’ve risked my life for you. I’ve walked half the length of Ravka for you, and I’d do it again and again and again just to be with you, just to starve with you and freeze with you and hear you complain about hard cheese every day. So don’t tell me we don’t belong together,” he said fiercely. He was very close now, and my heart was suddenly hammering in my chest. “I’m sorry it took me so long to see you, Alina. But I see you now.” He lowered his head, and I felt his lips on mine.

I wasn’t sure where the words came from: “You didn’t fail me, Mal.” He wiped his damp hand on his thigh. “We both know better.” “We’re going to be traveling together for who knows how long. Eventually, you’re going to have to talk to me.” “I’m talking to you right now.” “See? Is this so terrible?” “It wouldn’t be,” he said, gazing at me steadily, “if all I wanted to do was talk.” My cheeks heated. You don’t want this, I told myself. But I felt my edges curl like a piece of paper held too close to fire. “Mal—” “I need to keep you safe, Alina, to stay focused on what matters. I can’t do that if…” He let out a long breath. “You were meant for more than me, and I’ll die fighting to give it to you. But please don’t ask me to pretend it’s easy.” He plunged ahead into the next cave.

He shook his head. “This is all wrong.” The look on his face almost undid me. It was lost, startled, like a little boy standing alone in the ruin of a burning village. “Please, Alina,” he said softly. “Please. This can’t be how it ends.” I rested my hand on his cheek, hoping that there was still enough between us that he would understand. I stood on my toes and kissed the scar on his jaw. “I have loved you all my life, Mal,” I whispered through my tears. “There is no end to our story.” I stepped back, memorizing every line of his beloved face.

Without looking at him, I said, “Mal, tell me about the tattoo.” He was silent for a time. Finally, he scrubbed a hand over the back of his neck and said, “It’s an oath in old Ravkan.” “But why take on that mark?” “This time he didn’t blush or turn away. “It’s a promise to be better than I was,” he said. “It’s a vow that if I can’t be anything else to you, at least I can be a weapon in your hand.” He shrugged. “And I guess it’s a reminder that wanting and deserving aren’t the same thing.” “What do you want, Mal?” The room seemed very quiet. “Don’t ask me that.” “Why not?” “Because it can’t be.” “I want to hear it anyway.” He blew out a long breath. “Say goodnight. Tell me to leave, Alina.” “No.” “You need an army. You need a crown.” “I do.” He laughed then. “I know I’m supposed to say something noble—I want a united Ravka free from the Fold. I want the Darkling in the ground, where he can never hurt you or anyone else again.” He gave a rueful shake of his head. “But I guess I’m the same selfish ass I’ve always been. For all my talk of vows and honor, what I really want is to put you up against that wall and kiss you until you forget you ever knew another man’s name. So tell me to go, Alina. Because I can’t give you a title or an army or any of the things you need.

—Soy ambicioso, Alina. Soy determinado. Pero espero… Espero conocer todavía la diferencia entre lo que está bien y lo que está mal. Te ofrecí la libertad, y lo decía en serio. Si mañana decidieras volver a huir a Novyi Zem con Mal, te metería en un barco y dejaría que el mar te llevara. Pero no me gustaría verte marchar.

I thought I'd given up on Mal. I thought the love I'd had for him belonged to the past, to the foolish, lonely girl I never wanted to be again. I'd tried to bury that girl and the love she'd felt, just as I'd tried to bury my power. But I wouldn't make that mistake again. Whatever burned between us was just as bright, just as undeniable. The moment our lips met, I knew with pure and piercing certainty that I would have waited for him forever.

The thing is, Alina, Luchenko was right.” It took me a moment to place the militia leader’s name. “About what?” “There’s something wrong with this country. No land. No life. Just a uniform and a gun. That’s how I used to think too.” He had. He’d been willing to walk away from Ravka without a second glance. “What changed?” “You. I saw it that night in the chapel. If I hadn’t been so scared, I could have seen it before.” I thought of the militiaman’s body falling in pieces. “Maybe you were right to be scared of me.” “I wasn’t afraid of you, Alina. I was afraid of losing you. The girl you were becoming didn’t need me anymore, but she’s who you were always meant to be.” “Power hungry? Ruthless?” “Strong.” He looked away. “Luminous. And maybe a little ruthless too. That’s what it takes to rule. Ravka is broken, Alina. I think it always has been. The girl I saw in the chapel could change that.

Mal, you’ll have to be careful. The story of the amplifiers could leak out. People might still think you have power.” He shook his head. “Malyen Oretsev died with you,” he said, his words echoing my thoughts closely enough to raise the hair on my arms. “That life is over. Maybe I’ll be smarter in the next one.” I snorted. “We’ll see. We’re going to have to choose new names, you know.” “Misha is already making a list of suggestions.” “Oh, Saints.” “You have nothing to complain about. Apparently I am to be Dmitri Dumkin.” “Suits you.” “I should warn you that I’m keeping a tab of all of your insults so that I can reward you when I’m healed.” “Easy with the threats, Dumkin. Maybe I’ll tell the Apparat all about your miraculous recovery, and he’ll turn you into a Saint too.” “He can try,” said Mal. “I don’t intend to waste my days in holy pursuits.” “No?” “No,” he said as he drew me closer. “I have to spend the rest of my life finding ways to deserve a certain white-haired girl. She’s very prickly, occasionally puts goose droppings in my shoes or tries to kill me.” “Sounds fatiguing,” I managed as his lips met mine. “She’s worth it. And one day maybe she’ll let me chase her into a chapel.” I shuddered. “I don’t like chapels.” “I did tell Ana Kuya I would marry you.” I laughed. “You remember that?” “Alina,” he said and kissed the scar on my palm, “I remember everything.

That night at the palace when I saw you on stage with him, you looked so happy. Like you belonged with him. I can't get that picture out of my head." "I was happy," I admitted. "In that moment, I was happy. I'm not like you, Mal. I never really fit in the way that you did. I never really belonged anywhere." "You belonged with me," he said quietly. "No, Mal. Not really. Not for a long time." He looked at me then, and his eyes were deep blue in the twilight. "Did you miss me, Alina? Did you miss me when you where gone?" "Every day," I said honestly. “I missed you every hour. And you know what the worst part was? It caught me completely by surprise. I'd catch myself just walking around to find you, not for any reason, just out of habit, because I'd seen something that I wanted to tell you about or because I wanted to hear your voice. And then I'd realize that you weren't there anymore, and every time, every single time, it was like having the wind knocked out of me. I've risked my life for you. I've walked half the length of Ravka for you, and I'd do it again and again and again just to be with you, just to starve with you and freeze with you and hear you complain about hard cheese every day. So don't tell me why we don't belong together," he said fiercely. He was very close now, and my heart was suddenly hammering in my chest. "I'm sorry it took me so long to see you, Alina. But I see you now.

Ravka non avrebbe mai accettato una regina Grisha. Con Alina era stato diverso; lei era una Santa molto amata dal popolo, era il simbolo della speranza per il futuro. Ma per i cittadini comuni di Ravka Zoya sarebbe sempre stata la strega dai capelli corvini che governava le tempeste. Pericolosa. Inaffidabile. Non avrebbero mai consegnato il loro prezioso figlio dorato a una ragazza nata dal fulmine, dal tuono e dal volgo.

[…] qu'est-ce qu'il y a ? Rien, un peu mal au ventre, tout le monde sait que l'amour passe par le ventre et que l'âme se loge aussi dans ces coins-là, on ne sait pas à quel endroit précis, mais c'est sûrement ça, puisque ça fait si mal. (p. 34)