Mafia Quotes

We've searched our database for all the quotes and captions related to Mafia. Here they are! All 100 of them:

There is no reason why good cannot triumph as often as evil. The triumph of anything is a matter of organization. If there are such things as angels, I hope that they are organized along the lines of the Mafia.
Kurt Vonnegut Jr. (The Sirens of Titan)
Being in Harry Potter is like being in the Mafia. Once you are in, you are never really out.
Daniel Radcliffe
If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn’t have a job if he was any smarter.
John M. Gottman
This is why you must love life: one day you're offering up your social security number to the Russian Mafia; two weeks later you're using the word calve as a verb.
Maria Semple (Where'd You Go, Bernadette)
Maybe love is a risk, but it’s a risk I’m willing to take and as you said, it’s not a choice. I never thought I would, never thought I could love someone like that but I fell in love with you. I fought it. It’s the first battle I didn’t mind losing.
Cora Reilly (Bound by Honor (Born in Blood Mafia Chronicles, #1))
When plunder becomes a way of life for a group of men in a society, over the course of time they create for themselves a legal system that authorizes it and a moral code that glorifies it.
Frédéric Bastiat
Then so be it. I’ll go where you go no matter how dark the path.
Cora Reilly (Bound by Honor (Born in Blood Mafia Chronicles, #1))
The only other scenario that could explain everything, up to and including your own bizarre apperance, is a convoluted conspiracy theory involving the Russian Mafia and a crack team of plastic surgeons.
Eoin Colfer (The Eternity Code (Artemis Fowl, #3))
He'd always been a man who followed his head and not his heart.The heart was just a bloody motor.The head was meant to drive
Mario Puzo
The world, viewed philosophically, remains a series of slave camps, where citizens – tax livestock – labor under the chains of illusion in the service of their masters.
Stefan Molyneux
Step one, accept she was a damn boss. Step two, hide all the knives, guns, and maybe the pillows, too.
J.J. McAvoy (Ruthless People (Ruthless People, #1))
Never show anger at slight, tell nothing. Earn respect from everyone by deeds, not Words. Respect the members of your Blood Family. Gambling was Recreation, not a way to earn a Living. Love your Father, your Mother, your Sister but beware of Loving any other Woman than your Wife. And a Wife was a woman who bore your Children. And once that happened to You, your Life was Forfeit to give them their daily bread
Mario Puzo (The Last Don (Mario Puzo's Mafia))
This is the moment I realize that our traumas never really go away. They live inside of us, in the deepest darkest pits of our own tiny hells. Cocked and loaded, waiting for someone to come along and pull the trigger.
A. Zavarelli (Crow (Boston Underworld, #1))
Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right, here I am -- not stuck in the middle, but hovering above the entire farcical spectrum, weeping as I behold my fellow man's devotion to political illusion and self-destruction.
Robert Higgs
Socialism is an alternative to capitalism as potassium cyanide is an alternative to water.
Ludwig von Mises (Human Action: A Treatise on Economics)
Every socialist is a disguised dictator.
Ludwig von Mises
We are aware of your association with the Russian mafia, Mr. Linkov. Of course, you do not want this publicized. It would mean the end of your diplomatic career, perhaps imprisonment.
Karl Braungart (Lost Identity (Remmich/Miller, #1))
If she liked to play with fire, fine. I didn’t mind getting burned. I’d walk through flames for her. Matteo – The Blade – Vitiello
Cora Reilly (Bound by Hatred (Born in Blood Mafia Chronicles, #3))
And we are not pursuing military information on this trip. At least not about the Russian mafia exchanging Russian-Ukrainian tanks and electronics for their benefit in Syria.
Karl Braungart (Lost Identity (Remmich/Miller, #1))
What the American people didn’t know was how aggressive the government was in protecting our defenses and creating weapons. FDR had already secretly approved the Manhattan Project to build an atomic bomb. And the government saw the waterfront as vital to our defenses. They feared that spies or other saboteurs would infiltrate the docks and interrupt the shipments of supplies or somehow obtain vital information about America’s secrets. They made a deal with the Mafia, specifically gangster Charles “Lucky” Luciano.
A.G. Russo (O'SHAUGHNESSY INVESTIGATIONS, INC.: The Cases Nobody Wanted (O'Shaughnessy Investigations Inc. Mystery Series Book 1))
No state, no government exists. What does in fact exist is a man, or a few men, in power over many men.
Rose Wilder Lane
Make him be good to you. Make him love you if you can. It’s the only way to get through this.
Cora Reilly (Bound by Honor (Born in Blood Mafia Chronicles, #1))
If I’d done that today, you would have lost control. The only reason why you didn’t was because I treated you like my husband, not a monster.
Cora Reilly (Bound by Honor (Born in Blood Mafia Chronicles, #1))
This sentence is made of lead (and a sentence of lead gives a reader an entirely different sensation from one made of magnesium). This sentence is made of yak wool. This sentence is made of sunlight and plums. This sentence is made of ice. This sentence is made from the blood of the poet. This sentence was made in Japan. This sentence glows in the dark. This sentence was born with a caul. This sentence has a crush on Norman Mailer. This sentence is a wino and doesn't care who knows it. Like many italic sentences, this one has Mafia connections. This sentence is a double Cancer with a Pisces rising. This sentence lost its mind searching for the perfect paragraph. This sentence refuses to be diagrammed. This sentence ran off with an adverb clause. This sentence is 100 percent organic: it will not retain a facsimile of freshness like those sentences of Homer, Shakespeare, Goethe et al., which are loaded with preservatives. This sentence leaks. This sentence doesn't look Jewish... This sentence has accepted Jesus Christ as its personal savior. This sentence once spit in a book reviewer's eye. This sentence can do the funky chicken. This sentence has seen too much and forgotten too little. This sentence is called "Speedoo" but its real name is Mr. Earl. This sentence may be pregnant. This sentence suffered a split infinitive - and survived. If this sentence has been a snake you'd have bitten it. This sentence went to jail with Clifford Irving. This sentence went to Woodstock. And this little sentence went wee wee wee all the way home.
Tom Robbins (Even Cowgirls Get the Blues)
The last few words of the oath that men swore when they were inducted into the mafia could just as well have been the closing of my wedding vow: “I enter alive and I will have to get out dead.
Cora Reilly (Bound by Honor (Born in Blood Mafia Chronicles, #1))
They're titles other people give us. They don't make us who we are. If you're just a slave, then I'm nothing more than a Principe. Is that all I am, Haven? A Mafia Prince? "No, of course not." That's what I thought," he said. "Just because some people see us that way doesn't mean it's what we are. We'll overcome our labels together. They don't matter, they don't make us who we are. We make us who are are. Fuck those motherfuckers." She laughed. "When did you get so smart?" "Baby, I've always been smart," he said playfully. "I'm just lazy as hell and rarely show it.
J.M. Darhower (Sempre (Sempre, #1))
The other Dons in the room applauded and rose to shake hands with everybody in sight and to congratulate Don Corleone and Don Tattaglia on their new friendship. It was not perhaps the warmest friendship in the world, they would not send each other Christmas gift greetings, but they would not murder each other. That was friendship enough in this world, all that was needed.
Mario Puzo (The Godfather (The Godfather, #1))
Just because I'm wearing revealing clothes doesn't mean I'm inviting them to look.
Cora Reilly (Bound by Honor (Born in Blood Mafia Chronicles, #1))
She's a fucking rat trying to humiliate a queen...She's nothing
Cora Reilly (Bound by Honor (Born in Blood Mafia Chronicles, #1))
Love is when you feel safe in someone’s arms, when he’s the first thing you want to see in the morning, love is surrendering. You risk getting hurt but you don’t care. You are willing to give someone the power to break your heart. Love means seeing someone at their worst and still seeing the good in them, love means someone is perfect for you despite their imperfections
Cora Reilly (Bound by Hatred (Born in Blood Mafia Chronicles, #3))
God seemed to be having a hard time killing him, and he'd be damned if he was going to make the job easy for mere mortals
Mario Puzo
I thought of how proud he was when he took the marks- cutting the skin of his throat in a long slash and then packing it with ashes until keloid scars rose up. He called it his second smile.
Holly Black (Red Glove (Curse Workers, #2))
Whenever someone starts talking about 'fair competition' or indeed, about 'fairness' in general, it is time to keep a sharp eye on your wallet, for it is about to be picked.
Murray N. Rothbard
She was mine. She was all fucking mine.I was the king of the jungle, and the woman beside me was my queen.
J.J. McAvoy (Ruthless People (Ruthless People, #1))
You are far too beautiful and innocent to be married to someone like me, but I’m too much of a selfish bastard to ever let you go. You are mine. Forever.
Cora Reilly (Bound by Honor (Born in Blood Mafia Chronicles, #1))
I swear you bitches will be the death of me. One is a mafia princess, the other is suicidal, and this one lags.
Rina Kent (God of Malice (Legacy of Gods, #1))
Man's most dangerous enemy is the one he was once closest to.
S. Hussain Zaidi (Dongri To Dubai : Six Decades of The Mumbai Mafia)
The IRS! They're like the Mafia, they can take anything they want!
Jerry Seinfeld
What do you mean, like do I carry a membership card that says 'Mafia' on it?
Danielle Lori (The Sweetest Oblivion (Made, #1))
There is no good reason good can't triumph over evil, if only angels will get organized along the lines of the mafia.
Kurt Vonnegut Jr.
The thing about butterflies, Mr. Crow, is that they need to be admired from afar.
A. Zavarelli (Crow (Boston Underworld, #1))
CosaNostra Pizza doesn't have any competition. Competition goes against the Mafia ethic.
Neal Stephenson (Snow Crash)
He will crush me. He will break me apart. I will let him.
Rina Kent (Shadowed (Team Zero #4))
If any man's money can be taken by a so-called government, without his own personal consent, all his other rights are taken with it; for with his money the government can, and will, hire soldiers to stand over him, compel him to submit to its arbitrary will, and kill him if he resists.
Lysander Spooner
What exactly is the free world, anyway? I guess it would depend on what you consider the non-free world. And I can't find a clear definition of that, can you? Where is that? Russia? China? For chrissakes, Russia has a better Mafia than we do now, and China is pirating Lion King DVDs and selling dildos on the Internet. They sound pretty free to me. Here are some more jingoistic variations you need to be on the lookout for; "The greatest nation on Earth; the greatest nation in the history of the world"; and "the most powerful nation on the face of the Earth." That last one is usually thrown in just before we bomb a bunch of brown people. Which is every couple of years.
George Carlin (When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?)
When the media enjoy such excessive profits from this mass hysteria, what incentive do they have to restrain it?
T. Rafael Cimino (The Heir Apparent)
Kara! Be thankful you are allowed to roam about inside the house, but let me warn you, if you ever put any of my people in danger by attempting to escape again, I’ll lock you in your room and throw away the key.
Becky Wilde (Bratva Connection: Maxim (Whimsical Words Publishing))
Maybe love is a risk, but it’s a risk I’m willing to take and, as you said, it’s not a choice. I never thought I would, never thought I could love someone like that, but I fell in love with you. I fought it. It’s the first battle I didn’t mind losing.
Cora Reilly (Luca Vitiello (Born in Blood Mafia Chronicles, #0))
I spent much of my prison time reading. I must have read over 200 large books, mostly fictional stories about the American pioneers, the Vikings, Mafia, etc. As long as I was engrossed in a book, I was not in prison. Reading was my escape.
Frazier Glenn Miller (A White Man Speaks Out)
State is the name of the coldest of all cold monsters. Coldly it lies; and this lie slips from its mouth: 'I, the state, am the people.
Friedrich Nietzsche
Don’t let anyone stop you from achieving happiness.
Cora Reilly (Bound by Temptation (Born in Blood Mafia Chronicles, #4))
So why the hell am I letting him kiss me? And why the bloody hell am I kissing him back?
Becky Wilde (Bratva Connection: Maxim (Whimsical Words Publishing))
And still she felt more confident at the prospect of taking on the Russian Mafia than she did attending a backyard barbecue.
Nora Roberts (The Witness)
Oh, cool,’ Simon said, between bites. ‘Didn’t know the Mafia was still a thing, I love The Godfather. “Revenge is a dish best served cold,”’ he said in a dreadful Italian American accent.
Holly Jackson (Five Survive)
So I'm not just going to manage a casino, I'll also be a bordello queen.
Cora Reilly (Bound by Duty (Born in Blood Mafia Chronicles, #2))
Even if it means I’ll never be the man you give yourself to, I’ll always do anything to protect you.
Parker S. Huntington (Asher Black (The Five Syndicates, #1))
I’m going to make you feel so good,” I swore to her, “that you’re going to not just scream my name, but forget yours.
Shay Savage (Uncockblockable (Evan Arden, #2.5))
Every step which leads from capitalism toward planning is necessarily a step nearer to absolutism and dictatorship.
Ludwig von Mises (Omnipotent Government)
Love is something girls hope for when they don't know better, something women long for when they lie awake at night, and something they'll only ever get from their children. Men don't have time for such notions.
Cora Reilly (Bound by Honor (Born in Blood Mafia Chronicles, #1))
I’ll try to be the best husband I can possibly be, which probably is still much less than you deserve.
Cora Reilly (Bound by Duty (Born in Blood Mafia Chronicles, #2))
Maybe Father thought I was bad girl enough and didn't need a slutty outfit to emphasize that further.
Cora Reilly (Bound by Hatred (Born in Blood Mafia Chronicles, #3))
Free-market capitalism is a network of free and voluntary exchanges in which producers work, produce, and exchange their products for the products of others through prices voluntarily arrived at.
Murray N. Rothbard
You weren’t worried about sleeping beside Aria when she still despised you so why should I?” “You can’t compare Aria to Gianna. They are like two different species. And I trust Aria absolutely. She caught a fucking bullet for me.” “Must be nice,” I muttered. “Gianna would probably applaud my shooter.
Cora Reilly (Bound by Hatred (Born in Blood Mafia Chronicles, #3))
If the bulk of the public were really convinced of the illegitimacy of the State, if it were convinced that the State is nothing more nor less than a bandit gang writ large, then the State would soon collapse to take on no more status or breadth of existence than another Mafia gang.
Murray N. Rothbard (The Ethics of Liberty)
The path stretching before us was one of darkness, a life of blood and death and danger, a future of always watching my back, of knowing every day could be Luca’s last, of fearing that one day I might have to watch him receive a lethal injection. But this was my world and Luca was my man, and I would go this path with him until the bitter end.
Cora Reilly (Bound by Honor (Born in Blood Mafia Chronicles, #1))
Yes. There’s no fucking doubt in my mind. I love you, Matteo. I don’t care what that makes me. I don’t care what other people think about me, about us. I don’t even care what Aria and Luca think. All I care about is us.
Cora Reilly (Bound by Hatred (Born in Blood Mafia Chronicles #3))
You can tell me. I have a phone and am capable of operating it.
Cora Reilly (Bound by Duty (Born in Blood Mafia Chronicles, #2))
Nobody has ever looked at me the way he’s looking at me at this moment. Like I’m his possession. Like if anyone else were to touch me, he’d break both their legs and an arm for good measure.
A. Zavarelli (Crow (Boston Underworld, #1))
it was easier to live without something you’ve never had, because you didn’t know what you were missing, but once you’ve had something it was difficult giving it up.
Cora Reilly (Bound by Vengeance (Born in Blood Mafia Chronicles, #5))
A cop's JOB is to violently enforce upon the rest of us whatever arbitrary bullshit the political parasites declare to be "law." It is, therefore, impossible to be a "law enforcer" and behave morally, for the same reason one can't be a moral car-jacker.
Larken Rose
Both Bratva and thieves in law would like to call themselves nihilists and anarchists because they don’t support the established government, but they govern nonetheless, and you can’t be an anarchist unless you follow its rule. Crime and anarchy are no more synonymous than nihilism and existentialism, or fatalism and determinism; so many isms there was bound to be a schism.
Tanya Thompson (Red Russia)
Customers don’t usually tip in Australia. That’s an American etiquette,” Kara explained.
Becky Wilde (Bratva Connection: Maxim (Whimsical Words Publishing))
This boy--this stubborn, selfless, stupid boy--had given himself to the Mafia. He had handed control of his future over to the men they hated most in exchange for her life. For her safety. And he had done it so easily, so quickly, like he didn’t have to think about it at all…like sacrificing for her came just as naturally as breathing.
J.M. Darhower (Redemption (Sempre, #2))
Before you lost your mind, how did you make a living?" "I was a hitman for the Mafia. Are you done crying yet?" "I wasn't crying! And I wish you were a hitman because, if I had money, I'd hire you right this minute to knock yourself off.
Susan Elizabeth Phillips (Dream a Little Dream (Chicago Stars, #4))
What are you going to do? Shoot me. Do it! I dare you. I don’t care,” she yelled.
Becky Wilde (Bratva Connection: Maxim (Whimsical Words Publishing))
Some people may opt out. Their child turns out to be whatever it is that they find impossible to face—for some, the wrong religion; for some, the wrong sexuality; for some, a drug addict. They close the door. Click. Like in mafia movies: “I have no son. He is dead to me.” I have a son and he will never be dead to me.
David Sheff (Beautiful Boy: A Father's Journey Through His Son's Addiction)
Kadang waktu bergulir maju, tapi tanpa dirimu. Kadang hidup berputar, tapi kau tertinggal di belakang. Lalu mendadak kau sadar, bukan salah waktu tak mau menunggu, bukan salah hidup terus berputar. Tapi salahmu, berdiri membeku di tengah jalan, menolak meninggalkan masa lalu.
Francisca Todi (Mafia Espresso)
You need to get your head out of the clouds and see the reality right in front of your face, Kara. My enemies have become yours which means you aren’t going anywhere.” Before she could reply, he crashed his mouth over hers, plunging his tongue into her mouth when she gasped, and he finally kissed her the way he’d been dreaming about.
Becky Wilde (Bratva Connection: Maxim (Whimsical Words Publishing))
But I don’t care because loving you is the only pure thing in my life.
Cora Reilly (Bound by Honor (Born in Blood Mafia Chronicles, #1))
I am a firm believer that there is rarely a straight line between good and evil.
Nicholas Denmon (For Nothing (An Upstate New York Mafia Tale #1))
I see her, and she sees me. I was death, and she was life.
Sophie Lark (Stolen Heir (Brutal Birthright, #2))
Your sister is a fucking nuisance,” Luca muttered in my ear.
Cora Reilly (Bound by Honor (Born in Blood Mafia Chronicles, #1))
Stop trying to do what’s right and do what feels good for you. You’re fucking overthinking everything again.
Cora Reilly (Bound by Vengeance (Born in Blood Mafia Chronicles, #5))
Just because someone isn't alone doesn't mean they aren't lonely.
Cora Reilly (Bound by Vengeance (Born in Blood Mafia Chronicles, #5))
All war is absurd. For thousands of years, human beings have chosen to settle their differences by obliterating one another. And when we are not obliterating one another, we spend an enormous amount of time and attention coming up with better ways to obliterate one another the next time around. It’s all a little strange, if you think about it.
Malcolm Gladwell (The Bomber Mafia: A Dream, a Temptation, and the Longest Night of the Second World War)
I never realized how empty my life had really become until I had him in it. He did that to me. He said I wrecked him, but he completely destroyed me. Everything was fine when I was alone. When I didn’t have to feel or think or care about someone else. Sure I was sad and broken, but I was okay. Now, I’m anything but.
A. Zavarelli (Crow (Boston Underworld, #1))
But you are my first choice, Aria. I’ll burn down the world if I have to. I’ll kill and maim and blackmail. I’ll do anything for you. Maybe love is a risk, but it’s a risk I’m willing to take and as you said, it’s not a choice. I never thought I would, never thought I could love someone like that, but I fell in love with you. I fought it. It’s the first battle I didn’t mind losing.
Cora Reilly (Bound by Honor (Born in Blood Mafia Chronicles, #1))
There were a lot of terms you had to learn, as opposed to the shylock business where all you had to know how to say was 'Give me the fuckin money.
Elmore Leonard (Get Shorty (Chili Palmer, #1))
I want to kill this degenerate bastard brother of yours. But I am not selfish, I do not want to deprive you of that honor.
William Balsamo (Crime Incorporated: The Inside Story of the Mafia's First 100 Years)
uh, yeah, I love...worms" Classic. Someone should record the gold that flows from my mouth.
Rachel Van Dyken (Elite (Eagle Elite, #1))
There’s no before me and you. There’s only us.
Sadie Kincaid (Dante (Chicago Ruthless, #1))
I know.” His hand ran across the floor, making shapes in the nonexistent dust. “Have you ever seen those shows starring serial-killer main characters? Dexter? Hannibal? Some of those sexy vampire ones the mafia funds to lure victims to them? They make all sorts of excuses for the serial killers. ‘It’s okay, he’s killing bad guys.’ ‘It’s okay, because it happened offscreen.’ I hate those. I hate when people do that to me. When they try to make me sympathetic, moralize all the decisions that aren’t moral.
Rebecca Schaeffer (Not Even Bones (Market of Monsters, #1))
Dance with your demons, love carelessly. Selflessly. And most importantly, love yourself, even at your worst.
L.J. Shen (Blood to Dust)
He held me against his body and his upper arm was close to my face, so I turned and bit him. He was so startled he actually released me and I tried to jab him with the knife, but he gripped my wrist. “Did you bite me?” he asked as he stared at my teeth marks on his bicep. “Not hard enough. There isn’t even blood,” I said. Luca’s shoulders twitched once, then again. He was fighting laughter. Not the effect I’d intended when I bit him but I had to admit I loved the sound of his deep chuckle. “I think you’ve done enough damage for one day,” he said.
Cora Reilly (Bound by Honor (Born in Blood Mafia Chronicles, #1))
What makes anyone think that government officials are even trying to protect us? A government is not analogous to a hired security guard. Governments do not come into existence as social service organizations or as private firms seeking to please consumers in a competitive market. Instead, they are born in conquest and nourished by plunder. They are, in short, well-armed gangs intent on organized crime. Yes, rulers have sometimes come to recognize the prudence of protecting the herd they are milking and even of improving its ‘infrastructure’ until the day they decide to slaughter the young bulls, but the idea that government officials seek to promote my interests or yours is little more than propaganda—unless, of course, you happen to belong to the class of privileged tax eaters who give significant support to the government and therefore receive in return a share of the loot.
Robert Higgs
My take on socialism is this: Socialism only seems to work when you don't fully implement it, when you keep enough capitalism around to pay socialism's bills, at least for a time. It's the difference between milking the cow and killing it. Socialism has no theory of wealth creation; it's just a destructive, envy-driven fantasy about redistributing it after something else (and somebody else) creates it first.
Lawrence W. Reed
Those words on your back, I mean them, Luca. I will follow you anywhere. Your darkness doesn’t scare me. I love you, your strength and loyalty, your tenderness and protectiveness. I love your gentle side, but just as much I love your darkness. I’ll love you in your darkest hour, I’ll love you even when you are weak, and if you need me to be your light, I will. I love every piece of you, Luca.
Cora Reilly (Bound by Love (Born in Blood Mafia Chronicles, #6))
Property taxes' rank right up there with 'income taxes' in terms of immorality and destructiveness. Where 'income taxes' are simply slavery using different words, 'property taxes' are just a Mafia turf racket using different words. For the former, if you earn a living on the gang's turf, they extort you. For the latter, if you own property in their territory, they extort you. The fact that most people still imagine both to be legitimate and acceptable shows just how powerful authoritarian indoctrination is. Meanwhile, even a brief objective examination of the concepts should make anyone see the lunacy of it. 'Wait, so every time I produce anything or trade with anyone, I have to give a cut to the local crime lord??' 'Wait, so I have to keep paying every year, for the privilege of keeping the property I already finished paying for??' And not only do most people not make such obvious observations, but if they hear someone else pointing out such things, the well-trained Stockholm Syndrome slaves usually make arguments condoning their own victimization. Thus is the power of the mind control that comes from repeated exposure to BS political mythology and propaganda.
Larken Rose
Calvin clears his throat. “Do you have anything to drink?” Booze. Right. This is the perfect situation for some booze. I jump up, and he laughs, awkwardly. “I should have thought to get champagne or something.” “You bought the dinner,” I remind him. “Obviously the champagne was on my list and I dropped the ball.” Pulling a bottle of vodka from the freezer, I set it on the counter and then realize I have nothing to mix it with. And I finished the last beer the other night. “I have vodka.” He smiles valiantly. “Straight-up vodka it is.” “It’s Stoli.” “Straight-up mediocre vodka it is,” he amends with a cheeky wink. His phone buzzes, and it sets off a weird, giddy reaction in my chest. We both have full lives beyond this apartment, which remain complete mysteries to each other. One difference between us is that Calvin likely doesn’t care about my life outside of this. Yet I care intensely about his. Having him here feels like finding the key to unlock a mysterious chest that’s been sitting in the corner of my bedroom for a year. Buzz. Buzz. Looking up, I meet his eyes. They’re wide, almost as if he’s not sure whether to answer. “You can get it,” I assure him. “It’s okay.” His face darkens with a flush. “I . . . don’t think I should.” “It’s your phone! Of course it’s okay to answer it.” “It’s not . . .” Buzz. Buzz. Unless, maybe, it’s some Mafia drug lord and if he answers his ruse is up and I’ll kick him out. Or—gasp—maybe it’s a girlfriend calling? Why had this not occurred to me? Buzz. Buzz. “Oh my God. Do you have a girlfriend?” He looks horrified. “What? Of course not.” Buzz. Buzz. Holy shit, how long until his voicemail puts us out of our misery? “. . . Boyfriend?” “I don’t—” he starts, smiling through a wince. “It’s not.” “ ‘Not’?” “My phone isn’t ringing.” I stare at him, bewildered. His blush deepens. “It’s not a phone.” When he says this, I know he’s right. It doesn’t have the right rhythm to be a phone. I lift the vodka to my lips and chug straight from the bottle. The buzzing has the exact rhythm of my vibrator . . . the one I tucked beneath that cushion on the couch days ago. I’m going to need to be pretty drunk to deal with this.
Christina Lauren (Roomies)
What is wrong with you?” I say in lieu of greeting. “You went to Morris’s dorm and declared your intentions?” He offers a faint smile. “Of course. It was the noble thing to do. I can’t be chasing after another guy’s girl without his knowledge.” “I’m not his girl,” I snap. “We went on one date! And now I’m never going to be his girl, because he doesn’t want to go out with me again.” “What the hell?” Logan looks startled. “I’m disappointed in him. I thought he had more of a competitive spirit than that.” “Seriously? You’re going to pretend to be surprised? He won’t see me again because your jackass self told him he couldn’t.” Astonishment fills his eyes. “No, I didn’t.” “Yes, you did.” “Is that what he told you?” Logan demands. “Not in so many words.” “I see. Well, what words did he actually use?” I grit my teeth so hard my jaw aches. “He said he’s backing off because he doesn’t want to get in the middle of something so complicated. I pointed out that there’s nothing complicated about it, seeing as you and I are not together.” My aggravation heightens. “And then he insisted that I need to give you a chance, because you’re a—” I angrily air-quote Morris’s words “—‘stand-up guy who deserves another shot.’” Logan breaks out in a grin. I stab the air with my finger. “Don’t you dare smile. Obviously you put those words in his mouth. And what the hell was he jabbering about when he told me you and him were ‘family’?” All the disbelief I’d felt during my talk with Morris comes spiraling back, making me pace the bedroom in hurried strides. “What did you say to him, Logan? Did you brainwash him or something? How are you guys family? You don’t even know each other!” Strangled laughter sounds from Logan’s direction. I spin around and level a dark glower at him. “He’s talking about the joint family we created in Mob Boss. It’s this role-playing game where you’re the Don of a mob family and you’re fighting a bunch of other mafia bosses for territory and rackets and stuff. We played it when I went over there, and I ended up staying until four in the morning. Seriously, it was intense.” He shrugs. “We’re the Lorris crime syndicate.” I’m dumbfounded. Oh my God. Lorris? As in Logan and Morris? They fucking Brangelina’d themselves? “What is happening?” I burst out. “You guys are best friends now?” “He’s a cool guy. Actually, he’s even cooler in my book now for stepping down like that. I didn’t ask him to, but clearly he grasps what you refuse to see.” “Yeah, and what’s that?” I mutter. “That you and I are perfect for each other.” No words. There are no words to accurately convey what I’m feeling right now. Horror maybe? Absolute insanity? I mean, it’s not like I’m madly in love with Morris or anything, but if I’d known that kissing Logan at the party would lead to…this, I would have strapped on a frickin’ chastity gag.
Elle Kennedy (The Mistake (Off-Campus, #2))