Madea Quotes

What I've found about it is that there are some folks you can talk to until you're blue in the face--they're never going to get it and they're never going to change. But every once in a while, you'll run into someone who is eager to listen, eager to learn, and willing to try new things. Those are the people we need to reach. We have a responsibility as parents, older people, teachers, people in the neighborhood to recognize that.

Don't make a black woman take off her earrings".

...when you put on your shortest dress, please leave some mystery in it. That's the difference between a miniskirt and a ho-skirt. A ho-skirt shows your Frisbee. A miniskirt shows just enough to cause some mystery. What these young women lack is mystery.

I put a thong on a few months ago trying to be sexy. I've been looking for it but ain't seen it since.

My friend Madea has "attitude" that comes with wisdom. Back in our teens and twenties, we thought we knew everything and made all those foolish mistakes. Then, when we got a little older, at thirty, we started getting these flashes of light, revelations of what a great and lucky thing it is that we didn't get caught doing those stupid things back then. Around forty, if we are lucky, we stop lying to ourselves. Fifty and above, we've run out of patience for foolishness. Take me to the bottom line.

You know, people don't want their intelligence insulted. They don't want to be preached to. They don't want to be degraded. All they want to do is sit, laugh, have a good time, love one another, forget about what's going on in the world, and find something out so they can be useful in this life. Do this and you have common sense.

Life is sometimes hard, and you have to laugh your way through it.

I ain't going to talk to you until I am blue in the face trying to make you change. I'm going to tell you what's on my mind and hope you get it and I'm going to move on. That's what we have to do sometimes--move on. Try to help others, extend your hand, and then help the next. If they don't want to accept it, keep moving on. Don't let them discourage you. Never stop doing what you're doing because of somebody else's unwillingness to learn.

if it looks like ahh duck and Quack like ahh duck then....its an afflack!

In part, this will happen simply because people who pray the Psalms will be worshiping the God who made them, and one of the basic spiritual laws is that you become like what you worship. More particularly, however, it will happen because people who pray the Psalms will be learning (whether they necessarily think it out like this or not) to live in God’s time as well as in their own, in God’s space as well as in their own, and even in and as God’s “matter”—the stuff of which we’re made—as well as in and as our own. The

Lord give me patience, because if you give me strength I might beat a bitch to death.

People often say that the truth hurts. Hell no, it hurts even more if you do a whole bunch of foolishness to try to avoid it.

Graham’s timeless lesson for the intelligent investor, as valid today as when he prescribed it in his first edition, is clear: “the real money in investment will have to be made—as most of it has been made in the past—not out of buying and selling but of owning and holding securities, receiving interest and dividends and increases in value.” His

Everything that happens to you in this life, if you conquer it, if you beat it, you’ve won. Embrace every day you get.

You know, people don’t want their intelligence insulted. They don’t want to be preached to. They don’t want to be degraded. All they want to do is sit, laugh, have a good time, love one another, forget about what’s going on in the world, and find something out so they can be useful in this life. Do this and you have common sense.

Yet this is the world God has made—a world that requires us to live with risk. Because God wants us to live by faith.

An argument can be made—a rigorous, persuasive argument—that every good new thing results from a teeming complexity.

We are becoming too solemn about downtown. The architects, planners—and businessmen–are seized with dreams of order, and they have become fascinated with scale models and bird’s­eye views. This is a vicarious way to deal with reality, and it is, unhappily, symptomatic of a design philosophy now dominant: buildings come first, for the goal is to remake the city to fit an abstract concept of what, logically, it should be. But whose logic? The logic of the projects is the logic egocentric children, playing with pretty blocks and shouting “See what I made!”–a viewpoint much cultivated in our schools of architecture and design. And citizens who should know better are so fascinated by the sheer process of rebuilding that the end results are secondary to them

After that outcry, all emotion was drained from me. I sat down defeated and started applying the makeup to play Old Man Joe, a character I created long before Madea. Suddenly, I heard God’s voice, the one I’ve

Everybody is dealt a different hand, but you have to do what you have with your hand.

You know what I’ve found out about passion? It’s your destiny. If you’re trying to find your passion, all you got to do is keep getting up every day. It’ll find you. Destiny has a way of creeping up on you. If you’re depressed and struggling and frustrated and don’t know what to do or what your purpose is on this earth, I have one suggestion for you: wake up every morning and thank God that you’re doing it. Get out in the world. It will find you, and it will hit you so hard right between the eyes—when it’s time.

But what I found out, the longer you sit there and feel bad about yourself, the longer you’re going to stay depressed.

But God ain’t going to do a thing until you get up and do something yourself. Everything starts with you.

I think we have the power to change. You don’t have any choice of who you’re born to or where you come from. But you do have a choice of where you go from there. I think that we have the power, each and every one of us, every day, to change our lives.

The first thing you do to get over your depression is open up the curtains, put on some good music, take you a shower, get up, put on a good face, and open the door and go out and see the world. Everything that’s kicking you, kick it back.

So my thing is, whatever you don’t like, change it, but change it from the inside first.

You got to go get that stuff for yourself. You got to wake up every day and say, “I’m good enough, I deserve to be happy, I deserve to have all this good stuff coming my way.” You can’t depend on that to come from nobody else.

Hell, sit back and work on yourself. How are you going to offer something to somebody else if you ain’t been to visit you yet?

I believe that everything that happens to you can work together for your good because I believe everything you deal with in this life is all for a reason and is supposed to make you a better person.

There ain’t no man going to do something for you that you can’t do for yourself. Get out there and make it happen for yourself.

What I have learned in this life is that you can never be ashamed of where you come from.

This book is to help you understand that life is sometimes hard, and you have to laugh your way through it.

Half the time, the very thing you think that’s going to destroy you or ruin you is the very thing that nobody cares about. My advice to anybody with skeletons is dust them off every now and then—as long as your closet ain’t full of them. It’s not good to have more than two or three.

Krude, mind your damn business!” I glanced over my shoulder to see Mahogany, Focus, Exodus, and Krude’s grandmother standing on the porch. “Bring your ass in this house so you can get a plate and leave them the hell alone! I swear your granddaddy dropped you on your head too many times when you were a little one.” “Madea, that nigga dropped me?” Krude asked, surprised. “Like for real dropped a nigga?” He made his way to the porch, and all I could do was shake my head because he was a damn fool. Mrs. Austin grabbed him by his arm and drug him into the house. Mahogany and Focus followed behind them, laughing.

When it comes to Black women, sometimes Americans don’t recognize that sass is simply a more palatable form of rage. Americans adore sassy Black women. You know those caricatures of finger-waving, eye-rolling Black women at whom everyone loves to laugh—women like Tyler Perry’s Madea, Mammy in Gone with the Wind, or Nell from that old eighties sitcom Gimme a Break! These kinds of Black women put white folks at ease.

The clock has no past and no future, not even a present. That is because the clock is not time; it just shows time. In fact it shows only the present. It is easy to imagine—even if it has not actually been made—a clock with a fixed hand and moving numbers…

We are becoming too solemn about downtown. The architects, planners—and businessmen—are seized with dreams of order, and they have become fascinated with scale models and bird’s-eye views. This is a vicarious way to deal with reality, and it is, unhappily, symptomatic of a design philosophy now dominant: buildings come first, for the goal is to remake the city to fit an abstract concept of what, logically, it should be. But whose logic? The logic of the projects is the logic of egocentric children, playing with pretty blocks and shouting “See what I made!”—a viewpoint much cultivated in our schools of architecture and design. And citizens who should know better are so fascinated by the sheer process of rebuilding that the end results are secondary to them.

Joliffe, watching him over the rim of his own bowl, felt for his discontent. In his own life there were other things he could have been besides a player---several other things he had been besides a player--but at least he had had choices and made them. He doubted this fellow had ever seen anything else to be but what he was. Or else he had refused other choices if they ever came. but staying with what you were born to was a choice, too, and the one that most people made--a choice that Joliffe could have made, too, upon a time, but had not and of that he was still glad.