“
Laszlo eyed the Drakefords suspiciously. “I already told you. There. Is. No. Beelzebub!” “Okay,” said Maggie. “Fine. Then why have we heard about him and not Baal?” “You really want to know?” She nodded. The demon looked like he’d been sucking on a lemon. “All right,” he muttered. “Fine. I’ll tell you. It all began when a certain bigwig—we’ll call him Lite-Brite—didn’t like my dad calling himself Baal Zebul. That means ‘Lord of the Manor,’ which we can all agree is perfectly normal and classy. But Lite-Brite thought Dad was getting too big for his britches. So what does that asshole do? He starts a rumor with the Israelites that my dad’s name is actually Baal Zebub—‘Lord of the Flies’—which might as well be ‘Lord of the Turds.’ Well, everyone thought this was hilarious.” Laszlo assumed a patrician bonhomie. “‘Evening, Baalzebub!’ . . . ‘How goes it, Baalzebub?’ . . . ‘I accidentally swatted one of your subjects, Baalzebub. Hope you don’t mind, old chap’ . . .
”
”
Henry H. Neff (The Witchstone)