Lily Tomlin Quotes

The trouble with being in the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.

When I was growing up I always wanted to be someone. Now I realize I should have been more specific.

Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.

We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.

I said "Somebody should do something about that." Then I realized I am somebody.

The road to success is always under construction

Forgiveness means giving up all hope for a better past.

Why is it that when we talk to God we’re said to be praying, but when God talks to us we’re schizophrenic?

Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it.

If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?

The trouble with being in the rat race is that even if you win, you’re still a rat. — Lily Tomlin

No matter how cynical you get, it is impossible to keep up.

Reality is a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs.

I like a teacher who gives you something to take home to think about besides homework.

The best mind altering drug is the truth.

Ninety-eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hard-working, honest Americans. It's the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then--we elected them.

Reality is nothing but a collective hunch.

If I'd had any way of knowing that things were- as Lily Tomlin once said- going to get a whole lot worse before they got worse, I'm not sure how I would have slept that night.

If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library?

I always wanted to be something, but now I see I should have been more specific.

We're all in this alone.

Don't be afraid of missing opportunities. Behind every failure is an opportunity somebody wishes they had missed.

After all, in private, we're all misfits

Lady, I do not make up things. That is lies. Lies are not true. But the truth could be made up if yo know how. And that's the truth.

For fast-acting relief, try slowing down.

Does your mind feel more and more like teflon? Nothing sticks to it?

Exercise is for people who can't handle drugs or alcohol.

If you read a lot of books, you're considered well-read. But if you watch a lot of TV, you're not considered well-viewed!

Just remember, we're all in this alone.

Instead of working for the survival of the fittest, we should be working for the survival of the wittiest - then we can all die laughing.

Sometimes i worry about being a success in a mediocre world.

Growing up in Michigan was fine...until I realized where I was.

I always wondered why somebody doesn't do something about that. Then I realized I was somebody.

I always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific." Lily Tomlin

I can handle reality in small doses, but as a lifestyle, it's much too confining.

We’re all in this together alone.

Reality is the leading cause of stress.

Lily Tomlin once said, “The road to success is always under construction.

All my life I always wanted to be someone. I see now I should have been more specific.

Why is it,” comedian Lily Tomlin asks, “that when we speak to God we are said to be praying but when God speaks to us we are said to be schizophrenic?” Such a response from ourselves or others to someone’s claim to have heard from God is especially likely today because of the lack of specific teaching and pastoral guidance on such matters.

Even when you win the rat race , you're still a rat .

The problem with the rat race is that even if you win, you’re still a rat. —Lily Tomlin

If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?” —LILY TOMLIN

So if you've had a good time tonight, or if you've had a good time any night, for gosh sake's why not drop a dollar in the mail to me?

I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.

Delusions of grandeur make me feel a lot better about myself.

No matter how cynical you become, it's never enough to keep up.

Some seek the comfort of their therapist’s office, others head for the corner pub and dive into a pint, but I choose running as my therapy. It was the best source of renewal there was. I couldn’t recall a single time that I felt worse after a run than before. What drug could compete? As Lily Tomlin said, “Exercise is for people who can’t handle drugs and alcohol.” I’d also come to recognize that the simplicity of running was quite liberating. Modern man has virtually everything one could desire, but too often we’re still not fulfilled. “Things” don’t bring happiness. Some of my finest moments came while running down the open road, little more than a pair of shoes and shorts to my name. A runner doesn’t need much. Thoreau once said that a man’s riches are based on what he can do without. Perhaps in needing less, you’re actually getting more.

We're all in this together – by ourselves.

As Lily Tomlin once said, “The problem with a rat race is that even if you win, you’re still a rat.

Have you heard the saying by the actor Lily Tomlin, ‘The road to success is always under construction’? I like this concept. My spiritual journey has certainly been messy and uncomfortable at times. I had several emotional breakdowns before experiencing an emotional breakthrough. In essence, layers of deep denial and negative thought-patterns had to be unravelled and replaced with new and greater self-awareness.

I think in a 1980s comedy version, Steve Martin would be a Pilgrim who’s, like, cursed by a witch and time-travels and ends up very, very tiny living inside my skull. And the witch is Lily Tomlin and she’s immortal and now she’s running an oil company I work for or something.

I always wondered why somebody didn't do something about that. And then I realized I was somebody.

For fast-acting relief from stress, try slowing down.

To me, 'sexual freedom' means freedom from having to have sex.

As actor and comedian Lily Tomlin once said, “The road to success is always under construction.” So don’t allow yourself to be detoured from getting to your ONE Thing. Pave your way with the right people and place. BIG IDEAS Start saying “no.” Always remember that when you say yes to something, you’re saying no to everything else. It’s the essence of keeping a commitment. Start turning down other requests outright or saying, “No, for now” to distractions so that nothing detracts you from getting to your top priority. Learning to say no can and will liberate you. It’s how you’ll find the time for your ONE Thing. Accept chaos. Recognize that pursuing your ONE Thing moves other things to the back burner. Loose ends can feel like snares, creating tangles in your path. This kind of chaos is unavoidable. Make peace with it. Learn to deal with it. The success you have accomplishing your ONE Thing will continually prove you made the right decision. Manage your energy. Don’t sacrifice your health by trying to take on too much. Your body is an amazing machine, but it doesn’t come with a warranty, you can’t trade it in, and repairs can be costly. It’s important to manage your energy so you can do what you must do, achieve what you want to achieve, and live the life you want to live. Take ownership of your environment. Make sure that the people around you and your physical surroundings support your goals. The right people in your life and the right physical environment on your daily path will support your efforts to get to your ONE Thing. When both are in alignment with your ONE Thing, they will supply the optimism and physical lift you need to make your ONE Thing happen. Screenwriter Leo Rosten pulled everything together for us when he said, “I cannot believe that the purpose of life is to be happy. I think the purpose of life is to be useful, to be responsible, to be compassionate. It is, above all, to matter, to count, to stand for something, to have made some difference that you lived at all.” Live with Purpose, Live by Priority, and Live for Productivity. Follow these three for the same reason you make the three commitments and avoid the four thieves—because you want to leave your mark. You want your life to matter. 18

Forgiveness means giving up all hope for a better past. —Lily Tomlin; actress, writer, comedienne, absurdist

always wondered why somebody didn't do something about that. And then I realized I was somebody.

The trouble with the rat race is that if you win, you're still a rat.

The best mind altering drug is truth." Lily Tomlin "I have come as a light to shine in this dark world, so that all who put their trust in Me will no longer remain in the dark." Jesus of Nazareth

I always wanted to be somebody. I should have been more specific. —Lily Tomlin

God, Jack, it makes you want to go out and convert the whole damn world to homosexuality,” she told him. “Just so you can walk down the street with your head up. “Maybe

The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you’re still a rat. Lily Tomlin

Why is it,” comedian Lily Tomlin asks, “that when we speak to God we are said to be praying but when God speaks to us we are said to be schizophrenic?

the decade of foreplay,” as comedian Lily Tomlin called the pre-1960s sexual era.

As Lily Tomlin famously said, “The problem with the rat race is that even if you win, you’re still a rat.

The trouble with the rat-race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.” ~Lily Tomlin

The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you’re still a rat. —LILY TOMLIN

Forgiveness means giving up all hope for a better past. —Lily Tomlin;

American entertainer Lily Tomlin was spot on when she said: ‘I always wondered why somebody doesn’t do something about that. Then I realized I was somebody.

You know what Lily Tomlin once said?” Sirius pretended to be interested in what Lily and I had to say. “ ‘I worry that the person who thought up Muzak may be thinking up something else.

The trouble with the rat race is even if you win, you're still a rat. —Lily Tomlin

If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?" ~Lily Tomlin

Carry yourself with the confidence of a mediocre white man

I like how Lily Tomlin used to introduce one part of her act: The following skit is about my parents. I have changed their names to protect their identities.