Life Buffer Quotes

Happy. Not giddy or overjoyed, but that low, steady level of happiness that, in the best periods of life, rides underneath everything else, a buffer between you and the world you are walking over.

There is, though, nothing that prepares us for the worst things in our life. There is nothing you can do to stop the shock, or buffer the pain.

I guess this is a message for those of you who contemplate permanent solutions to temporary problems. You never know what could be coming in the future. There is so much music you've yet to hear.

I'm proud to be a work in progress.

And above it all the butterfly effect. The sure knowledge that the entire life of a human being is like a single day in that human's life: unplannable, unpredictable, governed by the hidden tides of chaotic factors and buffered by butterfly wings...

There is much in this world that hurts us, but if we let pain become our master, we live our lives as slaves.

Dealing with depression isn't about trying to run away from the feeling; it's about learning to walk alongside it.

If your heart is racing, slow your breathing. Don't ignore your body just because your mind is scared. Your mind is a tool that can bring your body peace.

Depression is the evangelist for emptiness.

Over the past ten years, I've processed a lot. I'm still processing. And there is more to be done. But I'm very proud of the person I am today. I'm proud to be gay. I'm proud to be a reckless optimist. I'm proud to keep learning and sharing what I've learned. I'm proud to be a work in progress.

Our society is stuck between problem and solution when it comes to treating mental illness. We cannot find a solution until we agree on the problem. And it is my humble opinion that the problem is fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of the misunderstood. Instead, let us seek to pursue knowledge over fear. Let's find a way to save lives that can be saved.

There is so much music you’ve yet to hear.

I was just flirting with girls whom I had tingly feelings for because... well, you know... friendship.

If you're reading this and you think that maybe you could love someone of the same gender (or nongender), all I have to say to you is this: Congratulations! You're perfect and wonderful and more alive than you ever knew. Be proud of who you are because you're already more than enough.

A message for those of you who contemplate permanent solutions to temporary problems. You never know what could be coming in the future. There is so much music you've yet to hear.

With our bodies we make statements before we speak, our presentation is a language spoken without words. You—and only you—get to decide what it is you’re trying to say.

This has been a long journey for me, and swimming is just one of the changes I’ve made. I’ve cut out sugar, I make sure I get plenty of alone time, I go on long walks, and I’ve stopped saying yes to everybody. I’ve cut down my working hours. All of these things make a buffer, and I say I like to keep my buffer broad. Sometimes problems come up that narrow my buffer, and then I have to make sure I build it up again. Keeping well is almost a full-time job. But I have a wonderful life.

It all seems so worthless. Such a waste of lives. We've spent hundreds of years since the Return buffering the Dark City and trying to maintain it - scraping out a life that will soon be wiped out. And what of the rest of the world that's already fallen? Stars blinking away, their light slowly fading? Somewhere out there a star's just dying and we'll never know about it. Somewhere another's being born whose light we'll never see. The Earth will spin, the stars will rearrange themselves around one another and the world will crawl with the dead who one day will drop into nothing ness: no humans left for them to scent, no flesh for them to crave. Everything-all of us-will simply cease to be.

The path to accepting your sexuality has to start somewhere. For those identify as heterosexual, the childhood bliss of an early crush is typically encouraged and praised. Milestones such as your first date and the prom are celebrated by parents and friends. But when you’re anything other than straight, it’s more complicated; your growth gets shrouded and stunted. That’s why a lot of queer people, when they fall in love and get into a relationship for the first time, revert to a kind of prepubescent puppy love: spontaneous, impulsive, obsessive, and ecstatic. I’ve heard many people express annoyance at friends who “just came out and it’s totally cool and whatever, but do they have to talk about it all the time?” My answer to that is “Yes. Yes, they do. Don’t you remember puppy love? Well, imagine if you had to hide it for twenty years. So yeah, if they wanna gush about it, let them gush. There’s a first time for everything.

The messages coming back flooded the comm buffers with rage and sorrow, threats of vengeance and offers of aid. Those last were the hardest. New colonies still trying to force their way into local ecosystems so exotic that their bodies could hardly recognize them as life at all, isolated, exhausted, sometimes at the edge of their resources. And what they wanted was to send back help. He listened to their voices, saw the distress in their eyes. He couldn't help, but love them a little bit. Under the best conditions, disasters and plagues did that. It wasn't universally true. There would always be hoarders and price gouging, people who closed their doors to refugees and left them freezing and starving. But the impulse to help was there too. To carry a burden together, even if it meant having less for yourself. Humanity had come as far as it had in a haze of war, sickness, violence, and genocide. History was drenched in blood. But it also had cooperation and kindness, generosity, intermarriage. The one didn’t come without the other.

I felt a little empty, a little light. Happy. Not giddy or overjoyed, but that low, steady level of happiness that, in the best periods of life, rides underneath everything else, a buffer between you and the world you are walking over.

I will have a deeper and personal relationship with my life. I will not have a casual fling with my life. I will find peace in that. I want to contribute to the world around me. Casual debauchery is not fulfilling. I want to send good messages and good meanings along the way. The journey is about spreading love and understanding. Not using each other. Not distraction. Tools for presence in life. I want to bond with like-minded people who echo my appreciation and awareness for them.

Losing the buffer zone of my parents meant I was next. I had a chance to craft a lighter finale for my future senior years. I didn’t want the final chapters of my life to be about stuff, and I didn’t want to abandon the responsibility of dealing with it myself.

Because here, in this moment when nothing was happening and we’d finally run out of things to say, I knew how much I liked Gus Everett, how much he was starting to mean to me. We’d let so much out into the open over the last three days, and I knew more would bubble up over time, but for the first time in a year, I didn’t feel overstuffed with trapped emotions and bitten-back words. I felt a little empty, a little light. Happy. Not giddy or overjoyed, but that low, steady level of happiness that, in the best periods of life, rides underneath everything else, a buffer between you and the world you are walking over. I was happy to be here, doing nothing with Gus, and even if it was temporary, it was enough for me to believe that someday I’d be okay again. Maybe not the exact same brand of it I’d been before Dad died—probably not—but a new kind, nearly as solid and safe.

She tastes like Aquafresh.

I had everything that I needed, but every morning when I woke up, it just seemed easier to stay in bed and daydream rather than to live my dream.

But that's the thing about judgment, if you give your initial opinion of someone too much weight and accept it as fact before really taking the time to really get to know someone, you risk missing out on a lot.

The Crying Child found a Mountain where others who had suffered had gone to learn to live through letting go. They learned that one must not struggle to change the unchangeable. That the only peace to be found is the peace of acceptance.

The doors burst open, startling me awake. I nearly jumped out of bed. Tove groaned next to me, since I did this weird mind-slap thing whenever I woke up scared, and it always hit him the worst. I'd forgotten about it because it had been a few months since the last time it happened. "Good morning, good morning, good morning," Loki chirped, wheeling in a table covered with silver domes. "What are you doing?" I asked, squinting at him. He'd pulled up the shades. I was tired as hell, and I was not happy. "I thought you two lovebirds would like breakfast," Loki said. "So I had the chef whip you up something fantastic." As he set up the table in the sitting area, he looked over at us. "Although you two are sleeping awfully far apart for newlyweds." "Oh, my god." I groaned and pulled the covers over my head. "You know, I think you're being a dick," Tove told him as he got out of bed. "But I'm starving. So I'm willing to overlook it. This time." "A dick?" Loki pretended to be offended. "I'm merely worried about your health. If your bodies aren't used to strenuous activities, like a long night of lovemaking, you could waste away if you don't get plenty of protein and rehydrate. I'm concerned for you." "Yes, we both believe that's why you're here," Tove said sarcastically and took a glass of orange juice that Loki had poured for him. "What about you, Princess?" Loki's gaze cut to me as he filled another glass. "I'm not hungry." I sighed and sat up. "Oh, really?" Loki arched an eyebrow. "Does that mean that last night-" "It means that last night is none of your business," I snapped. I got up and hobbled over to Elora's satin robe, which had been left on a nearby chair. My feet and ankles ached from all the dancing I'd done the night before. "Don't cover up on my account," Loki said as I put on the robe. "You don't have anything I haven't seen." "Oh, I have plenty you haven't seen," I said and pulled the robe around me. "You should get married more often," Loki teased. "It makes you feisty." I rolled my eyes and went over to the table. Loki had set it all up, complete with a flower in a vase in the center, and he'd pulled off the domed lids to reveal a plentiful breakfast. I took a seat across from Tove, only to realize that Loki had pulled up a third chair for himself. "What are you doing?" I asked. "Well, I went to all the trouble of having someone prepare it, so I might as well eat it." Loki sat down and handed me a flute filled with orange liquid. "I made mimosas." "Thanks," I said, and I exchanged a look with Tove to see if it was okay if Loki stayed. "He's a dick," Tove said over a mouthful of food, and shrugged. "But I don't care." In all honesty, I think we both preferred having Loki there. He was a buffer between the two of us so we didn't have to deal with any awkward morning-after conversations. And though I'd never admit it aloud, Loki made me laugh, and right now I needed a little levity in my life. "So, how did everyone sleep last night?" Loki asked. There was a quick knock at the bedroom doors, but they opened before I could answer. Finn strode inside, and my stomach dropped. He was the last person I'd expected to see. I didn't even think he would be here anymore. After the other night I assumed he'd left, especially when I didn't see him at the wedding. "Princess, I'm sorry-" Finn started to say as he hurried in, but then he saw Loki and stopped abruptly. "Finn?" I asked, stunned. Finn looked appalled and pointed at Loki. "What are you doing here?" "I'm drinking a mimosa." Loki leaned back in his chair. "What are you doing here?" "What is he doing here?" Finn asked, turning his attention to me. "Never mind him." I waved it off. "What's going on?" "See, Finn, you should've told me when I asked," Loki said between sips of his drink.

You will come to see that the mind talks all the time because you gave it a job to do. You use it as a protection mechanism, a form of defense. Ultimately, it makes you feel more secure. As long as that’s what you want, you will be forced to constantly use your mind to buffer yourself from life, instead of living it. This world is unfolding and really has very little to do with you or your thoughts. It was here long before you came, and it will be here long after you leave. In the name of attempting to hold the world together, you’re really just trying to hold yourself together.

Always – but especially when suffering - surround yourself with those who inspire you to lose yourself more honestly, to love others more thoroughly, to live life more fully, and to trust God more wholly. Huddle with those who care for you and those who are exemplary in their encouragement, patience and understanding of others. Hang out with those who strive to put God and faith at their center. Pray for peers, friends and mentors who will not only encourage you to be your best independent, strong, and vulnerable self all at the same time – but also sincerely humble. Pray that their angel dust will transcend you when even the smallest flecks of their contagious warmth and permeating beauty fall upon you. Then ever pray that you may have the opportunity to likewise ease and nurture others in such authentic ways; thus honing such a charitable, other-oriented nature of your own, – a miraculous healing balm – a buffer of pain if there ever was one. Know this is the most powerful antidote for fear and sorrow; the most effective – and addictive – cure-all known in all of creation; an elixir for that otherwise, elusive kind of happiness – the kind that weathers, endures and remains in all seasons and conditions.

As children, we think that whatever world surrounds us is normal. As I entered fourth and fifth grades and began spending time in the homes of other kids, my world grew. I spent a lot of time watching and thinking about the way people interacted with other people. I began to see that not all families were like mine.

Sailors have an expression about the weather: they say, the weather is a great buffer. I guess the same is true of our human society - things can look dark, then a break shows in the clouds, and all is changed, sometimes rather suddenly. It is quite obvious that the human race has made a queer mess of life on this planet. But as a people we probably harbor seeds of goodness that have lain for a long time, waiting to sprout when the conditions are right. Man's curiosity, his relentlessness, his inventiveness, his ingenuity have led him into deep trouble. We can only hope that these same traits will enable him to claw his way out. Hang on to your hat. Hang on to your hope,. And wind the clock, for tomorrow is another day.

The 4th Way is based on understanding. The Work is the 4th Way—that is, it is not the Way of Fakir or the Way of Monk, or the Way of Yogi. In this Work understanding is the most powerful thing you can develop. Therefore it is necessary to begin to to try to understand what this Work teaches and see for oneself why it teaches it. What does that mean? It means in brief that you must understand for yourself why negative emotions must go, understand why self-justifying must go, why lying and deceit must go, why internal considering and grievances and making internal accounts must go. (Notice the Lord's Prayer says: "Forgive us as we forgive others.") You must understand for yourself why egotistical phantasies must go, why self-pity and sad regrets must go, why hating must go, why the state of inner sleep must go, why ignorance must go, why buffers and attitudes and pictures of yourself must go, why False Personality, with its two giants walking in front of you, Pride and Vanity, must go, why ignorance of oneself must be replaced by real uncritical self-knowledge through observation, why external considering is always necessary, and finally you must understand and see why Self-Remembering is utterly and totally necessary for you at all times if you want to awaken from the great sleep-inducing power of nature and the increasing mass-hypnotism of external life. All this is the Work and what it teaches —namely, what it is we have to do in order to awaken from the state of sleep in which we live.

Don't get me wrong; devoting time outside of work to serving others is a great idea. Recent research suggests that people who do so — by volunteering in their communities, for example — have better health and wellbeing, and perform better at work. Having a clear purpose beyond paid work also has a buffering effect. If your entire identity is wound up in a job that could go away, your wellbeing is in constant jeopardy.

Whatever the specifics, give us an encyclopedia (or Wiki page) of information, and we have something to do with our fidgety, restless brains. Memorize. Categorize. Draw. Write about. Dream about. Reenact. Even the very act of collecting information is joyful. The focus is relaxing, like a meditation. The rigor invigorating, like going on a great run. The reliability comforting, a buffer against the mercurial nature of people.

The concept of resilience is used in our field. But if you look carefully at the biology after a traumatic experience-all the way down to the way genes are expressed-trauma will change everyone in some way. And those changes will be there even if they don’t result in any apparent ‘real life’ problems for the person, even if the person demonstrates resilience. A child may continue to do just as well in school, for example, but it takes much more energy and effort. Or we may find that a child is able to return to his previous level of emotional functioning, but changes in his neuroendocrine system may make him more likely to develop diabetes. This is, in essence, what the ACE studies have demonstrated. Adversity impacts the developing child. Period. What that impact will be, when it may manifest, how it maybe ‘buffered’-we can’t always say. But developmental trauma will always influence our body and brain.

There is an underbelly of terror to all life. It is suffering, it is hurt. Deep within all of us are intense fears that have left few of us whole. Life’s terrors haunt us, attack us, leave ugly cuts. To buffer ourselves, we dwell on beauty, we collect things, we fall in love, we desperately try to make something lasting in our lives. We take beauty as the only worthwhile thing in this existence, but it cannot veil cursing, violence, randomness, and injustice.

Some things just take time to process, and one must have healthy boundaries of time and space in place in order to do so. Simply put: BOUNDARIES + PROCESSING = BUFFERING Buffering is that time you spend waiting for the pixels of your life to crystallize into a clearer picture; it’s a time of reflection, a time of pause, a time for regaining your composure or readjusting your course. We all have a limited amount of mental and emotional bandwidth, and some of life’s episodes take a long time to fully load.

Lacking older siblings, the oldest or only child identifies primarily with her parents, conforming to their ideals and demands, not the least reason being that she no one with whom to share those demands. Since firstborns try to live up to the expectations of adults- teachers' as well as parents'- rather than that of peers, they are likely to learn more and to bring home better report cards than younger siblings. Thus firstborns pave the way for younger siblings, setting the standards against which they are measured and measure themselves. Middle children tend to be more gregarious and more dependent on the approval of peers than that of adults. For one thing they have the example of the older sibling- who has the credibility of generational sameness- to guide them in their decisions and to teach them the rules of the family road. An older sister who was grounded for a month for coming home late from a date, for instance, is a lesson not lost on her younger sister or brother. At the same time younger children are buffered by birth order from their parents' sole concentration. Hence they are treated with more indulgence and are called upon less to take on responsibilities.

WHEN YOU APPROACH ME in stillness and in trust, you are strengthened. You need a buffer zone of silence around you in order to focus on things that are unseen. Since I am invisible, you must not let your senses dominate your thinking. The curse of this age is overstimulation of the senses, which blocks out awareness of the unseen world. The tangible world still reflects My Glory to those who have eyes that see and ears that hear. Spending time alone with Me is the best way to develop seeing eyes and hearing ears. The goal is to be aware of unseen things even as you live out your life in the visible world.

First agriculture, and then industry, changed two fundamental things about the human experience. The accumulation of personal property allowed people to make more and more individualistic choices about their lives, and those choices unavoidably diminished group efforts toward a common good. And as society modernized, people found themselves able to live independently from any communal group. A person living in a modern city or a suburb can, for the first time in history, go through an entire day—or an entire life—mostly encountering complete strangers. They can be surrounded by others and yet feel deeply, dangerously alone. The evidence that this is hard on us is overwhelming. Although happiness is notoriously subjective and difficult to measure, mental illness is not. Numerous cross-cultural studies have shown that modern society—despite its nearly miraculous advances in medicine, science, and technology—is afflicted with some of the highest rates of depression, schizophrenia, poor health, anxiety, and chronic loneliness in human history. As affluence and urbanization rise in a society, rates of depression and suicide tend to go up rather than down. Rather than buffering people from clinical depression, increased wealth in a society seems to foster it.

Nurture parent-teacher relationships. When students feel that parents are talking negatively about their teacher, it undermines that critical relationship, akin to the acrimonious divorce of parents, notes Suniya Luthar. Students learn best from teachers they feel close to, and teachers play an essential role in buffering against achievement stress. Show respect and appreciation when you speak about or interact with their teachers. Actively build a partnership with educators so that a child can be best supported. “Replace” yourself. Consider creating your own council of parents. Value and appreciate the adults in your children’s lives. Guard that time so that they can enjoy a wider safety net of support. You might even make it formal, as some parents I interviewed did, by creating a master sheet of phone numbers and meeting together as a group. Encourage gratitude. Help children to get into the habit of telling others explicitly why they matter. You might adopt a regular gratitude practice at home, like “the one thing I love about the birthday person.” Teach kids how to think gratefully. Point out when someone goes out of their way to find a present for them, or when they do something kind that makes your child’s life better. Researchers find gratitude is the glue that binds relationships together.

Nadine began to ask: If that is the wrong approach, what’s the right way to respond? How could she help Robert, and all the other kids in her care like him? She told me that she starts by explaining to parents: “I believe this [inability to focus] is being caused by your [child’s] body making too many stress hormones. So here’s how we fix them. We have to create an environment. We have to limit the amount of scary or stressful things that [your child] is experiencing and witnessing. And we have to layer on lots of buffering, lots of caregiving, lots of nurturing. In order for you to be able to do that, you, Mom, have to recognize and address your own history of what’s gone on in your life.

Anthropologists like Kohrt, Hoffman, and Abramowitz have identified three factors that seem to crucially affect a combatant's transition back into civilian life. The United States seems to rank low on all three. First, cohesive and egalitarian tribal societies do a very good job at mitigating effects of trauma, but by their very nature, many modern societies are exactly the opposite: hierarchical and alienating. America's great wealth, although a blessing in many ways, has allowed for the growth of an individualistic society that suffers high rates of depression and anxiety. Both are correlated with chronic PTSD. Secondly, ex-combatants shouldn't be seen -or be encouraged to see themselves - as victims... Lifelong disability payments for a disorder like PTSD, which is both treatable and usually not chronic, risks turning veterans into a victim class that is entirely dependent on the government for their livelihood... Perhaps most important, veterans need to feel that they're just as necessary and productive back in society as they were on the battlefield... Recent studies of something called 'social resilience' have identified resource sharing and egalitarian wealth distribution as major components of a society's ability to recover from hardship. And societies that rank high on social resilience...provide soldiers with a significantly stronger buffer against PTSD than low-resilience societies. In fact, social resilience is an even better predictor of trauma recovery than the level of resilience of the person himself.

She’d married a man with the intention of spending her life with him, he for her and she for him, a kind and loving buffer against the harsh edges of the world, a man so different from herself, their life together so unlike any she had known, that she could not help but forget all about the person she used to be. But how strange that all sounded now. And yet how perfectly correct it rang out when they began, how right the promise declared itself, a win-win deal cut and shaken upon, and everything that followed, everything built up and out around them was evidence of their agreement. And now? So soon, the marriage was already feeling past. And looking back she had no way of knowing if Rudi had ever actually loved her, or if he loved her still. What had he seen when he looked at her all those years? Had she ever allowed herself to be seen?

The Major's laughter boomed out again. "And I never kept a diary in my life!" he cried. "Why there's enough cream in this situation to make a dishful of meringues. You and I, you know, the students of Tilling! The serious-minded students who do a hard day's work when all the pretty ladies have gone to bed. Often and often has old--I mean has that fine woman, Miss Mapp, told me that I work too hard at night! Recommended me to get earlier to bed, and do my work between six and eight in the morning! Six and eight in the morning! That's a queer time of day to recommend an old campaigner to be awake at! Often she's talked to you, too, I bet my hat, about sitting up late and exhausting the nervous faculties." Major Flint choked and laughed and inhaled tobacco smoke till he got purple in the face. "And you sitting up one side of the street," he gasped, "pretending to be interested in Roman roads, and me on the other pulling a long face over my diaries, and neither of us with a Roman road or a diary to our names. Let's have an end to such unsociable arrangements, old friend; you lining your Roman roads and the bottle to lay the dust over to me one night, and I'll bring my diaries and my peg over to you the next. Never drink alone--one of my maxims in life--if you can find someone to drink with you. And there were you within a few yards of me all the time sitting by your old solitary self, and there was I sitting by my old solitary self, and we each thought the other a serious-minded old buffer, busy on his life-work. I'm blessed if I ever heard of two such pompous old frauds as you and I, Captain! What a sight of hypocrisy there is in the world, to be sure! No offence--mind: I'm as bad as you, and you're as bad as me, and we're both as bad as each other. But no more solitary confinement of an evening for Benjamin Flint, as long as you're agreeable.

I want to end here with the most common and least understood sexual problem. So ordinary is this problem, so likely are you to suffer from it, that it usually goes unnoticed. It doesn't even have a name. The writer Robertson Davies dubs it acedia. “Acedia” used to be reckoned a sin, one of the seven deadly sins, in fact. Medieval theologians translated it as “sloth,” but it is not physical torpor that makes acedia so deadly. It is the torpor of the soul, the indifference that creeps up on us as we age and grow accustomed to those we love, that poisons so much of adult life. As we fight our way out of the problems of adolescence and early adulthood, we often notice that the defeats and setbacks that troubled us in our youth are no longer as agonizing. This comes as welcome relief, but it has a cost. Whatever buffers us from the turmoil and pain of loss also buffers us from feeling joy. It is easy to mistake the indifference that creeps over us with age and experience for the growth of wisdom. Indifference is not wisdom. It is acedia. The symptom of this condition that concerns me is the waning of sexual attraction that so commonly comes between lovers once they settle down with each other. The sad fact is that the passionate attraction that so consumed them when they first courted dies down as they get to know each other well. In time, it becomes an ember; often, an ash. Within a few years, the sexual passion goes out of most marriages, and many partners start to look elsewhere to rekindle this joyous side of life. This is easy to do with a new lover, but acedia will not be denied, and the whole cycle happens again. This is the stuff of much of modern divorce, and this is the sexual disorder you are most likely to experience call it a disorder because it meets the defining criterion of a disorder: like transsexuality or S-M or impotence, it grossly impairs sexual, affectionate relations between two people who used to have them. Researchers and therapists have not seen fit to mount an attack on acedia. You will find it in no one’s nosology, on no foundation's priority list of problems to solve, in no government mental health budget. It is consigned to the innards of women's magazines and to trashy “how to keep your man” paperbacks. Acedia is looked upon with acceptance and indifference by those who might actually discover how it works and how to cure it. It is acedia I wish to single out as the most painful, the most costly, the most mysterious, and the least understood of the sexual disorders. And therefore the most urgent.

For monks is what we are, my dear Matthew, monks who enter literature with our heads bowed, as if taking religious orders. It's as simple as that. The poet for whom the subject, the only conceivable subject, is art itself -- and for the true poet, I tell you, there can be no other subject -- such a poet is a monk whose whole life coincides with the adoration of his God and for whom posterity is his Heaven. You' -- he stressed the you -- 'you know what I mean, don't you? The immorality of his soul. For what /is an oeuvre, after all, but the soul of its creator? That's why I chuckle so at the antics of those pathetic buffers in the Academy with their pretensions to immortality. Les Immortels, hah! Maurois, Achard, Druon, Genevoix, that crowd! What a graveyard, Matthew, n'est-ce pas? Dead is what they are, dead, not immortal, dead as writers, mummified as men, propped up in their fauteuils like so many old codgers in wheelchairs. What a farce! Hein? And, you know, you know, it has just occurred to me, it has just this instant occurred to me, that true immortality, the immortality of Racine, of Montaigne, qu'est-ce que j'en sais, of Rimbaud, is to the Immortality of the Académie Française what Heaven is to -- to the Vatican. Hein? For that's what it is, the Academy, the Vatican of French literature.

The opposite of fear is faith' is an adage I heard often when I quit drinking. The thinking is that fear is paralyzing or even regressive, causing you to retreat in defense, while faith inspires forward progress. So why, I always wondered, does fear feature so prominently in our discussions and practice of faith? We talk about fear of God as a good thing - and being God-fearing as a desirable state. I know I'm not the first to say this, and smarter people have given it more thorough examination and more eloquent expression, but that just makes no sense to me. It's counterintuitive and, I think, confuses fear with respect. As a way of motivating people, cultivating fear is easier than investing the time and effort necessary to engender respect. Respect requires greater knowledge, and in my experience, the more you know, the less you fear. In the year or so between my Parkinson's diagnosis and my quitting drinking, I had considered getting sober but feared life without the perceived buffer of alcohol. What I came to realize after a few months of disciplined sobriety was that my fear had nothing to do with alcohol or a lack thereof. It had to do with a lack of self-understanding. As I gained more intimate knowledge of myself, why I did the things I did, what my resentments were, and how I could address them, my fear began to subside.

LEADING LESSONS Excuses hold you back. Excuses they keep you from doing what needs to be done and from living your truth. When I was making all those lame excuses for why my performance was going to suck, I was refusing to own it. And when you don’t commit wholeheartedly to a situation, you’re always somewhere floating in the middle, never really operating at your full potential. We tend to make excuses when things don’t go according to our original plans. Or we blame something or someone else for our mistakes. You can also make excuses for the things you don’t do--why you haven’t left a job you hate, followed your dream, or taken a risk. In the end, all those excuses add up to the same thing: a smoke screen. When you make an excuse, you’re rejecting the truth and trying to buffer yourself from the consequences of your actions. Leaders own what they do. This was something I had to learn through experience. I saw how pawning off responsibility (like blaming a bad back for a bad performance) was not helping me improve or grow. People who constantly make excuses are often afraid they’re not good enough or can’t live up to others’ expectations. Maybe in the beginning it makes you feel better: “If I just explain it this way, I won’t look so bad.” But the end result is always self-defeating. Excuses will always get in the way of a responsible life.

SEVEN CHANGE MASTERY SHIFTS • Change Mastery Shift 1: From Problem Focus to Opportunity Focus. Effective leaders tend to perceive and to innovate on the opportunities inherent in change. • Change Mastery Shift 2: From Short-Term Focus to Long-Term Focus. Effective leaders don’t lose sight of their long-term vision in the midst of change. • Change Mastery Shift 3: From Circumstance Focus to Purpose Focus. Effective leaders maintain a clear sense of purpose, value, and meaning to rise above immediate circumstances. • Change Mastery Shift 4: From Control Focus to Agility Focus. Effective leaders understand that control is a management principle that yields a certain degree of results. However, agility, flexibility, and innovation are leadership principles that sustain results over the long haul. • Change Mastery Shift 5: From Self-Focus to Service. Effective leaders buffer their teams and organizations from the stress of change by managing, neutralizing, and/or transcending their own stress. • Change Mastery Shift 6: From Expertise Focus to Listening Focus. Effective leaders stay open and practice authentic listening to stay connected with others and to consider multiple, innovative solutions. • Change Mastery Shift 7: From Doubt Focus to Trust Focus. Effective leaders are more secure in themselves; they possess a sense that they can handle whatever may come their way; their self-awareness and self-trust are bigger than the circumstances of change.

Let me remind you of some of the characteristic phrases used in the Work. One is: “If you change your Being, your life changes.” Now everyone probably wishes his or her life to change. Everyone feels he or she ought to have a better life. But the Work says that your Being attracts your life and that if you want to change your life you have to begin to work on yourself and change your Being which is constantly attracting this life that you made. In other words, you have to begin to quarrel with your Being, with the kind of person you are. Now this is quite impossible unless you observe your Being from what you are taught to observe in this Work. A very great difficulty lies here because everyone is quite satisfied with himself of herself. Owing to the actions of buffers in us, which are like big blocks of wood, we live peaceably with ourselves without seeing all our contradictions. As you know, if these buffers, which life has made in us and which lie in the Personality, were suddenly removed and we saw all our contradictions and became conscious at the same time in all our different ‘I’s, we should go mad. We could not stand such an experience. It would utterly destroy all our self-conceit and our self-complacency and our excellent estimation of ourselves. But the action of self-observation in the Work makes us gradually conscious of our contradictions and gradually undermines this curious static frozen state that we are all in as regards ourselves. Then we can begin to work on our Being because we begin to see at what level our Being is.

Pull in Friendships and Fresh Adventures: Five men are walking across the Golden Gate Bridge on an outing organized by their wives who are college friends. The women move ahead in animated conversation. One man describes the engineering involved in the bridge's long suspension. Another points to the changing tide lines below. A third asked if they've heard of the new phone apps for walking tours. The fourth observes how refreshing it is to talk with people who aren't lawyers like him. Yes, we tend to notice the details that most relate to our work or our life experience. It is also no surprise that we instinctively look for those who share our interests. This is especially true in times of increasing pressure and uncertainty. We have an understandable tendency in such times to seek out the familiar and comfortable as a buffer against the disruptive changes surrounding us. In so doing we can inadvertently put ourselves in a cage of similarity that narrows our peripheral vision of the world and our options. The result? We can be blindsided by events and trends coming at us from directions we did not see. The more we see reinforcing evidence that we are right in our beliefs the more rigid we become in defending them. Hint: If you are part of a large association, synagogue, civic group or special interest club, encourage the organization to support the creation of self-organized, special interest groups of no more than seven people, providing a few suggestions of they could operate. Such loosely affiliated small groups within a larger organization deepen a sense of belonging, help more people learn from diverse others and stay open to growing through that shared learning and collaboration. That's one way that members of Rick Warren's large Saddleback Church have maintained a close-knit feeling yet continue to grow in fresh ways. imilarly the innovative outdoor gear company Gore-Tex has nimbly grown by using their version of self-organized groups of 150 or less within the larger corporation. In fact, they give grants to those who further their learning about that philosophy when adapted to outdoor adventure, traveling in compact groups of "close friends who had mutual respect and trust for one another.

1. The future is not a “point”—a single scenario that we must predict. It is a range. We should bookend the future, considering a range of outcomes from very bad to very good.     •  Investor Penstock bet on Coinstar when his bookend analysis showed much more upside than downside. • Our predictions grow more accurate when we stretch our bookends outward. 2. To prepare for the lower bookend, we need a premortem. “It’s a year from now. Our decision has failed utterly. Why?” • The 100,000 Homes Campaign avoided a legal threat by using a premortem-style analysis. 3. To be ready for the upper bookend, we need a preparade. “It’s a year from now. We’re heroes. Will we be ready for success?”     •  The producer of Softsoap, hoping for a huge national launch, locked down the supply of plastic pumps for 18 to 24 months. 4. To prepare for what can’t be foreseen, we can use a “safety factor.”     •  Elevator cables are made 11 times stronger than needed; software schedules include a “buffer factor.” 5. Anticipating problems helps us cope with them. • The “realistic job preview”: Revealing a job’s warts up front “vaccinates” people against dissatisfaction.     •  Sandra rehearsed how she would ask her boss for a raise and what she’d say and do at various problem moments. 6. By bookending—anticipating and preparing for both adversity and success—we stack the deck in favor of our decisions.

Nature has buffered out children not only physically--prepubescent children have the lowest death rate from all causes-- but psychologically as well, by endowing them with hope, abundant and irrational.

Nature has buffered our children not only physically-- prepubescent children have the lowest death rate from all causes-- but psychologically as well, by endowing them with hope, abundant and irrational.

When we need spiritual furniture, we look around and see that all the comfortable leather sofas and stuffed chairs have been removed and all that’s left to sit on is a small, frail folding chair: the self. And the maximal self, stripped of the buffering of any commitment to what is larger in life, is a setup for depression.

When looking back on our lives, it is difficult objectively to evaluate our actions. When retelling our story, it is challenging to achieve balanced journalism. It is understandable why we might be inclined to overemphasize nostalgic feelings of happiness, glamorize stretches of childhood or other periods where life was rather uncomplicated, while assigning a disproportionate amount of anxiety to rougher periods of life. When we create strong, joyous memories, we preserve cherished feelings in the present. By assigning selective pleasant memories to the past, we create a homey place where we can return to visit. Fondness for nostalgic memories provides a buffer from existential threat, improves mood, combats loneliness, increases social consecutiveness, and enhances self-regard.

I was on the sidewalk, buffering, wondering if it was okay to follow people in real life.

A major shock at the wrong time can lead to their demise. Younger companies, which are buffered against this by an initial capital endowment, become particularly vulnerable once this initial infusion is expended if they are unable to turn a significant profit. This is sometimes referred to as the liability of adolescence.

The jobs where people find the most meaning are often ones that serve others. ... Adam has published five different studies demonstrating that meaningful work buffers against burnout. In companies, nonprofits, government and the military, he finds that the more people believe their jobs help others, the less emotionally exhausted they feel at work and the less depressed they feel in life. And on days when people think they’ve had a meaningful impact on people at work, they feel more energized at home and more capable of dealing with difficult situations.

but he could not show him what freedom is, that recognition of each person’s solitude which alone transcends it. Shevek was therefore used to an inward isolation, buffered by all the daily casual contacts and exchanges of communal life,

Smoking is every bit the personal assistant that drinking is. It makes life easier. Its presence is a literal and figurative buffer between you and the face you're talking to, easily morphing into another person when you're lonely.

If, the first two months of life, a child experienced high adversity with minimal relational buffering but was then put into a healthier environment for the next twelve years, their outcomes were worse than the outcomes of children who had low adversity and healthy relational connection in the first two months but then spent the next twelve years with high adversity

If, in the first two months of life, a child experienced high adversity with minimal relational buffering but was then put into a healthier environment for the next twelve years, their outcomes were worse than the outcomes of children who had low adversity and healthy relational connection in the first two months but then spent the next twelve years with high adversity. Think of that: The child who has only two months of really bad experiences does worse than the child with almost twelve years of bad experiences, all because of the timing of the experiences

The best bosses let the workers do their work. They protect their people from red tape, meddlesome executives, nosy visitors, unnecessary meetings, and a host of other insults, intrusions and time wasters. The notion that management ‘buffers’ the core work of the organization from uncertainty and external perturbations is an old theme in organization theory. A good boss takes pride in serving as a human shield, absorbing and deflecting heat from superiors and customers, doing all manner of boring and silly tasks, and battling back against every idiot and slight that makes life unfair or harder than necessary on his or her charges.

In June 2000, I had settled into a cosy stay at Pilgrim’s Lane. Only later would I begin to see that by providing me with so much access and comfort, Michael was buffering the biography. I don’t mean that he made some sort of calculation that I would be indebted because of his generosity—although this is exactly what his nephew Paul Foot would later say: I was abusing Michael’s hospitality by dealing with issues that for Michael’s sake should be left out of Jill’s biography. It was simply in Michael’s nature, I believe, to extend his liberality, which easily segued into his thinking I would produce a biography in the same spirit of amity that characterised our jolly talks together.

Although Vermont is frigid in the winter, its summertime shimmers. That’s stating the obvious to anyone who knows New England, but it was my brave new world. The mud season that begins in March and lasts well through May buffers one’s mind from winter’s ravages, so that, by the glorious day when neon-green leaf buds first appear on every tree, one can barely remember the bitter February winds streaming off the lake in great, frigid sloughs. Every year, the lake freezes solid around the shoreline, groaning and cracking under the push of the shifting wind, but, in the century-long life of Winloch, the winter had been heard only by the workingmen, men called in to plow the roads, or plumb frozen pipes, men who had the north country in their blood and the dried-up curl of French Canadian on their tongues.

When I was young I was taught well better to give than to receive what to do with life I was told what goals I must achieve but well intentioned goals of others were simply not my own found living my own life no theirs the full cost of which was my home I'm full of clear dichotomy of pleasure and of pain like loving long days of summer just as much as those of rain a thriving centre of attention I'm comfortable alone putting others first comes naturally but my motives are my own I like to taste sweet delicacies of loving and of touch but equally my heart can freeze when it all becomes too much. I'm comfortable with the physical what many would call sin knowing you cannot spread love to others if you can't love the skin you're in. I find myself helping those with troubles in their times of greatest need yet my own pain that I suffer from my own advice I ought heed I do not expect a following beside me in my pain but I'm always pleasantly comforted by those with me in the rain. A hopeless female Shakespeare whose world is getting dark hoping in small ways at least I'm able to leave my mark a successful life is not counted in years for I shall soon be gone but by how many lives I have touched and helped with my humble single one. I'm grateful of the life I've had mixed privilege with suffering maybe I just lived it a little too fast while others rested during buffering what memory of me might last when I step through the final door I'd rather it be how I faced the world always with a mighty roar. And so when the time comes for me to face my final curtain I'll face death with the same energy for life of this you can be certain no subtle soft exit for this dark winged bird I'm no peaceful mindless minion, I'll regale of my sins with the devil himself in eternity of riotous oblivion.

A WHILE BACK, a game designer friend of mine named Phil Fish made a plea on Twitter, “Hey bloggers, no more ‘blank rebuilt in Minecraft’ posts, please. We get it. You can make things in Minecraft. Thanks.” Fish was referring to the popular online game Minecraft, in which players hunt for resources that are used to construct models and apparatuses with the game’s characteristic, cubical visual style. The Internet being what it is, given such tools extreme fans do insane things, like elaborately reconstructing the city King’s Landing from Game of Thrones using nothing but this square matter mined from Minecraft. Seeing Fish’s tweet, an enterprising ironoiac recreated the form of the embedded tweet itself inside Minecraft, a fact that the tech blog VentureBeat then dutifully blogged about, thus completing not one but two cycles of an ironoia self-treatment the environmental philosopher Timothy Morton names “anything you can do I can do meta.”14 In a futile attempt to prevent further metastasis, the blogger concluded his post with the line, “Yes, we’re fully aware of the irony of this post.”15 But rather than satisfying anyone, such a provocation only further irritated the ironoiac itch. Fish tweeted a link to the blog post covering the Minecraft construction of a model of Fish’s tweet protesting blog posts about Minecraft constructions, which one of his followers one-upped by observing the fact that Fish had in fact “tweeted about somebody blogging about somebody making [his] tweet about Minecraft in Minecraft.” Another chimed in, “How long ’til someone recreates that blog post in Minecraft?” Each step represents an attempt to overcome the absurdity of the last by fixing it in a new voice, even though each ironic gesture was evanescent, quickly replaced by yet another layer of buffer from yet another desperate ironoiac. Why do we do it, then? Today, satisfaction is more elusive than ever. In part, the precarity of life after the 2008 global financial collapse and the Great Recession that followed it (and whose effects still linger) makes every transaction with the world feel suspect and risky. We fear that things might turn on us, because we have good evidence that they can, and do. But

The Internet is a place that’s full of judgment because the Internet is full of people. People

For his sake, I’m glad he disappeared. I don’t blame him. I know it was an act of self-preservation.

As long as that’s what you want, you will be forced to constantly use your mind to buffer yourself from life, instead of living it.

A family's structure is paramilitary, and commanding it is the Capofamiglia, commonly referred to as simply the 'Boss', absolute ruler with unquestioned life or death authority over everyone in the organization. At his side is his Consigliere, an advisor chosen for his loyalty, knowledge of the family business, and political strength internal to the family's alliances and factions. The Boss's second-in-command, the Sotto Capo or 'Underboss', has power that varies depending on the man holding the position. The Underboss more closely runs the day to day activities of the organization and acts as a buffer between the Boss, who gives the orders, and the people responsible for carrying them out. The Underboss is the successor to the Boss in the event of his death, or his representative on the street if the Boss is imprisoned and chooses to run the organization from his cell. The Underboss directly controls a group of Capo Régimes, usually referred to as Capos or Captains; these are the family's middle level managers who run groups of Soldiers, or 'crews'. Since only the Boss, Underboss and Consigliere are above the rank of Capo, it's a powerful position; a Soldier at odds with his Capo is a Soldier with a severely limited life expectancy. Finally, the people who rely on a Soldier's protection and power to conduct their business, yet are not members of the organization, are known as 'connected' guys. To a connected guy, a made guy is his Boss, his agent and his police, all rolled into one; of course in some cases he may also turn out to be his judge, jury and executioner.

But the unplanned nature preserves that have formed up in the buffer zones have come to serve as a focus for bilateral cooperation after hostilities are over.

In a world pulsating with constant motion and demands, the pursuit of health often becomes a beacon guiding us through the tumultuous seas of life. Health is not merely the absence of disease but rather a state of complete physical, mental, and social well-being. It is a precious asset, intricately woven into the fabric of our existence, impacting every facet of our lives. Understanding Health Holistically Health transcends the boundaries of the physical body, encompassing mental and emotional fortitude as well. It is the harmonious interplay between these dimensions that fosters a sense of equilibrium and vitality. Nurturing health, therefore, necessitates a holistic approach that attends to the interconnectedness of mind, body, and spirit. Cultivating Physical Vitality The cornerstone of physical health lies in nurturing our bodies with proper nutrition, regular exercise, and ample rest. A balanced diet rich in fruits, vegetables, lean proteins, and whole grains provides the essential nutrients to fuel our bodies and fortify our immune systems. Likewise, engaging in regular physical activity not only strengthens muscles and bones but also uplifts mood and enhances cognitive function. Adequate sleep is equally paramount, as it rejuvenates our bodies, bolsters immunity, and consolidates memories. Nurturing Mental Well-Being The mind, a sanctuary of thoughts and emotions, demands tender care and cultivation. Mental well-being flourishes in an environment of self-compassion, mindfulness, and resilience. Practicing mindfulness, through meditation or deep breathing exercises, fosters a sense of presence and tranquility, allowing us to navigate the ebb and flow of life with grace. Moreover, cultivating meaningful connections with others, nurturing hobbies and interests, and seeking professional support when needed, are indispensable tools in nurturing mental resilience and fortitude. Embracing Emotional Balance Emotions, the kaleidoscope of human experience, are an intrinsic aspect of our being. Embracing our emotions with openness and acceptance allows us to harness their transformative power, rather than being swept away by their tide. Emotional intelligence, the ability to recognize, understand, and manage our emotions, empowers us to navigate the complexities of interpersonal relationships with empathy and grace. Furthermore, fostering a sense of purpose and meaning in life imbues our existence with a profound sense of fulfillment and contentment, nurturing emotional equilibrium. Cultivating Social Connections Human beings are inherently social creatures, wired for connection and belonging. Cultivating meaningful relationships with family, friends, and community fosters a sense of belonging and support, buffering against the storms of life. Engaging in acts of kindness and compassion not only enriches the lives of others but also nourishes our own sense of well-being and fulfillment. Conclusion In the tapestry of life, health is the golden thread weaving its way through every experience, illuminating our path with vitality and resilience. Nurturing health is not merely a destination but rather an ongoing journey, requiring diligence, self-awareness, and a commitment to holistic well-being. By tending to the interconnected dimensions of mind, body, and spirit, we pave the way for a life imbued with vibrancy, purpose, and fulfillment.

You can blow the whistle at any time you like. And the sooner you do it, the less painful it will be. Don't wait until you crash into the buffers and there's a mangled wreck around you.

In a world pulsating with constant motion and demands, the pursuit of health often becomes a beacon guiding us through the tumultuous seas of life. Health is not merely the absence of disease but rather a state of complete physical, mental, and social well-being. It is a precious asset, intricately woven into the fabric of our existence, impacting every facet of our lives. Understanding Health Holistically Health transcends the boundaries of the physical body, encompassing mental and emotional fortitude as well. It is the harmonious interplay between these dimensions that fosters a sense of equilibrium and vitality. Nurturing health, therefore, necessitates a holistic approach that attends to the interconnectedness of mind, body, and spirit. Cultivating Physical Vitality The cornerstone of physical health lies in nurturing our bodies with proper nutrition, regular exercise, and ample rest. A balanced diet rich in fruits, vegetables, lean proteins, and whole grains provides the essential nutrients to fuel our bodies and fortify our immune systems. Likewise, engaging in regular physical activity not only strengthens muscles and bones but also uplifts mood and enhances cognitive function. Adequate sleep is equally paramount, as it rejuvenates our bodies, bolsters immunity, and consolidates memories. Nurturing Mental Well-Being The mind, a sanctuary of thoughts and emotions, demands tender care and cultivation. Mental well-being flourishes in an environment of self-compassion, mindfulness, and resilience. Practicing mindfulness, through meditation or deep breathing exercises, fosters a sense of presence and tranquility, allowing us to navigate the ebb and flow of life with grace. Moreover, cultivating meaningful connections with others, nurturing hobbies and interests, and seeking professional support when needed, are indispensable tools in nurturing mental resilience and fortitude. Embracing Emotional Balance Emotions, the kaleidoscope of human experience, are an intrinsic aspect of our being. Embracing our emotions with openness and acceptance allows us to harness their transformative power, rather than being swept away by their tide. Emotional intelligence, the ability to recognize, understand, and manage our emotions, empowers us to navigate the complexities of interpersonal relationships with empathy and grace. Furthermore, fostering a sense of purpose and meaning in life imbues our existence with a profound sense of fulfillment and contentment, nurturing emotional equilibrium. Cultivating Social Connections Human beings are inherently social creatures, wired for connection and belonging. Cultivating meaningful relationships with family, friends, and community fosters a sense of belonging and support, buffering against the storms of life. Engaging in acts of kindness and compassion not only enriches the lives of others but also nourishes our own sense of well-being and fulfillment. Conclusion In the tapestry of life, health is the golden thread weaving its way through every experience, illuminating our path with vitality and resilience. Nurturing health is not merely a destination but rather an ongoing journey, requiring diligence, self-awareness, and a commitment to holistic well-being. By tending to the interconnected dimensions of mind, body, and spirit, we pave the way for a life imbued with vibrancy, purpose, and fulfillment.

In a world pulsating with constant motion and demands, the pursuit of health often becomes a beacon guiding us through the tumultuous seas of life. Health is not merely the absence of disease but rather a state of complete physical, mental, and social well-being. It is a precious asset, intricately woven into the fabric of our existence, impacting every facet of our lives. Understanding Health Holistically Health transcends the boundaries of the physical body, encompassing mental and emotional fortitude as well. It is the harmonious interplay between these dimensions that fosters a sense of equilibrium and vitality. Nurturing health, therefore, necessitates a holistic approach that attends to the interconnectedness of mind, body, and spirit. Cultivating Physical Vitality The cornerstone of physical health lies in nurturing our bodies with proper nutrition, regular exercise, and ample rest. A balanced diet rich in fruits, vegetables, lean proteins, and whole grains provides the essential nutrients to fuel our bodies and fortify our immune systems. Likewise, engaging in regular physical activity not only strengthens muscles and bones but also uplifts mood and enhances cognitive function. Adequate sleep is equally paramount, as it rejuvenates our bodies, bolsters immunity, and consolidates memories. Nurturing Mental Well-Being The mind, a sanctuary of thoughts and emotions, demands tender care and cultivation. Mental well-being flourishes in an environment of self-compassion, mindfulness, and resilience. Practicing mindfulness, through meditation or deep breathing exercises, fosters a sense of presence and tranquility, allowing us to navigate the ebb and flow of life with grace. Moreover, cultivating meaningful connections with others, nurturing hobbies and interests, and seeking professional support when needed, are indispensable tools in nurturing mental resilience and fortitude. Embracing Emotional Balance Emotions, the kaleidoscope of human experience, are an intrinsic aspect of our being. Embracing our emotions with openness and acceptance allows us to harness their transformative power, rather than being swept away by their tide. Emotional intelligence, the ability to recognize, understand, and manage our emotions, empowers us to navigate the complexities of interpersonal relationships with empathy and grace. Furthermore, fostering a sense of purpose and meaning in life imbues our existence with a profound sense of fulfillment and contentment, nurturing emotional equilibrium. Cultivating Social Connections Human beings are inherently social creatures, wired for connection and belonging. Cultivating meaningful relationships with family, friends, and community fosters a sense of belonging and support, buffering against the storms of life. Engaging in acts of kindness and compassion not only enriches the lives of others but also nourishes our own sense of well-being and fulfillment. Conclusion In the tapestry of life, health is the golden thread weaving its way through every experience, illuminating our path with vitality and resilience. Nurturing health is not merely a destination but rather an ongoing journey, requiring diligence, self-awareness, and a commitment to holistic well-being. By tending to the interconnected dimensions of mind, body, and spirit, we pave the way for a life imbued with vibrancy, purpose, and fulfillment.

I have cut out sugar, I make sure I get plenty of alone time, I go on long walks and I’ve stopped saying yes to everybody. I’ve cut down my working hours. All of these things make a buffer and I say I like to keep my buffer broad. Sometimes problems come up that narrow my buffer and then I have to make sure I build it up again. Keeping well is almost a full-time job but I have a wonderful life.

A man couldn’t fix a woman. He couldn’t make her feel good about herself when she was trained to feel bad. He couldn’t take her trauma and wave his dick over it, whisking it all away. Once the first gloss of a relationship wore off and you started acting like the person you really were, it all came back, but there was something about a man, or a woman, a loved one, turning up and being present in your life. Someone who was willing to walk beside you as you did the work, because maybe, just maybe, their persistent subliminal message of love, of acceptance, of need and desire, but most of all, of respect, could provide you with a buffer from a cruel and unusual world, creating a safe harbour in which you could decide to love yourself.

A belief is a perception about reality. A feeling is a message from our body. Beliefs tell us what feelings we should feel, and our feelings tell us what to do with our beliefs. When we’re in reactive mode, it’s pretty hard to figure out which starts the process, but all of life is easier if we have fully functioning, healthy emotional energy boundaries. At the very least, they buy us the time we need to feel our feelings, discern the vital messages our feelings are providing, and think through our reactions. This emotional buffering ensures that our responses to life’s stimulations are life enhancing and not destructive to ourselves or others.

Not giddy or overjoyed, but that low, steady level of happiness that, in the best periods of life, rides underneath everything else, a buffer between you and the world you are walking over.

To the extent you identify and honor your true path in this lifetime, you will know genuine satisfaction. Real peace in your own skin. You will be infused with vitality and a clarified focus. New pathways of possibility appear, where before there were obstacles. You will know a peace that will buffer you against the madness of the world. A clarity, a direction, that will carry you from one satisfaction to another. Life will still have its challenges, but you will interface with them differently. Coded in an authenticity of purpose, that sees through the veils, to what really matters. To the extent that you avoid the quest for purpose, you will live frustrated. A half-life. Your avoidance manifests in all manner of disease. Perpetual dissatisfaction. Emotional problems. Depression. Addictive patterns. All reflections of your own alienation from the purposeful root of your being. There is really no escape from reality. There is only postponement. You should be more afraid of avoiding your path, than walking it. You are sacred purpose.

Yale psychologist Patricia W. Linville, who found that the more complex and varied your sense of self, the less likely you are to become depressed over stress in one area, because “you have these uncontaminated areas of your life that can act as buffers.

It’s not about what pain you suffer; it’s about what you suffer for. You can choose to cut yourself off from feeling good so as to buffer the sense of loss and suffer from numbness, or you can have an incredible life and mourn wildly when it’s over, but at least there was a means to that end.

Without Steven everything would be off balance—he was the buffer, the real life reminder that nothing really changes, that everything can stay the same. Because, Steven never changed. He was just obnoxious, insufferable Steven, my big brother, the bane of my existence. He was like our old flannel blanket that smelled like wet dog—smelly, comforting, a part of the infrastructure that made up my world. And with him there, everything would still be the same, three against one, boys against girls.

The only occupants of the hottest water are microbes that thrive in these sorts of extreme conditions, so-called alkalithermophiles. Many of these are sulphur bacteria which, unlike most of the rest of life, do not obtain their energy from the sun – photosynthesis stops occurring at temperatures above about 75°C – or from eating those that do, but by directly breaking down the rock itself. To buffer themselves against the alkaline conditions, they churn out protein chains, made of strings of amino acids. These acids, to some extent, neutralize the alkaline water and allow the normal chemical reactions of life to proceed. In the hotter pools, only these rock-eating cells survive, and the water is entirely clear. Not clear like a fresh river or ocean, still filled with tiny beasts that impart the slightest haze, but clear like distilled alcohol, the only clue to its presence a shimmering as the surface vibrates with bubbles. In the right light, when the sun is at the correct angle, the bare tunnel into the centre of the Earth is lit up as certainly as if it were an empty cave mouth, with only the slightest refraction to break the illusion.

for the first time in a year, I didn't feel overstuffed with trapped emotions and bitten-back words. I felt a little empty, a little light. Happy. Not giddy or overjoyed, but that low, steady level of happiness that, in the best periods of life, rides underneath everything else, a buffer between you and the world you are walking over.

The thing that I felt testosterone had given me more than anything else was a sense of protection, of invulnerability. I had never imagined myself to be particularly invulnerable when testosterone had free rein in my system, but this new world I was approaching seemed to have no buffers. Things that used to just bounce off me now got under my skin. There were a number of occasions when I wished I still had that male shield standing between me and the harshness of the world.

there was something about a man, or a woman, a loved one, turning up and being present in your life. Someone who was willing to walk beside you as you did the work, because maybe, just maybe, their persistent subliminal message of love, of acceptance, of need and desire, but most of all, of respect, could provide you with a buffer from a cruel and unusual world, creating a safe harbour in which you could decide to love yourself.

As long as that’s what you want, you will be forced to constantly use your mind to buffer yourself from life, instead of living it. This

The thin film of water found on the microscopic particles that make clay has been shown to possess the proper conditions for important chemical reactions. Clays serve as a support and as a catalyst for the diversity of organic molecules involved in what we define as living processes. Ever since J. Desmond Bernal presented (during the late 1940s) his ideas concerning the importance of clays to the origin of life, additional prebiotic scenarios involving clay have been proposed. Clays store energy, transform it, and release it in the form of chemical energy that can operate chemical reactions. Clays also have the capacity to act as buffers and even as templates. A.G. Cairns-Smith analyzed the microscopic crystals of various metals that grew in association with clays and found that they had continually repeating growth patterns. He suggested that this could have been related to the original templates on which certain molecules reproduced themselves. Cairns-Smith and A. Weiss both suggest clays might have been the first templates for self-replicating systems.

In appointing Gates as his buffer with Harper, Rockefeller hoped to keep the university guessing about future gifts, but the tactic did not work.

All this unfettered taxation, of course, raises the question, “If these investments are 100% taxable, why have them at all?” The answer is liquidity. Generally speaking, it’s easy to get your hands on these investments, which means that they make for great emergency funds. Financial experts generally agree that we should have roughly six months’ worth of income in these accounts as a buffer against life’s unexpected emergencies. Having too little means that we can be forced to withdraw money from illiquid investments, incurring unwanted taxes or penalties. Having too much, on the other hand, means that we can be disproportionately affected by the rise of taxes over time. From a tax-efficiency perspective, therefore, investments in this bucket should be just the right amount: about six months’ worth of income.

Grain for the Tommies, bread for home consumption in Britain (27 million tonnes of imported grains, a wildly excessive amount), and generous buffer stocks in Europe (for yet-to-be-liberated Greeks and Yugoslavs) were Churchill’s priorities, not the life or death of his Indian subjects. When reminded of the suffering of his victims his response was typically Churchillian: The famine was their own fault, he said, for ‘breeding like rabbits’. When officers of conscience pointed out in a telegram to the prime minister the scale of the tragedy caused by his decisions, Churchill’s only reaction was to ask peevishly: ‘why hasn’t Gandhi died yet?

Wealth will be a buffer for some countries, but not a safeguard, as Australia is learning already: by far the richest of all the countries staring down the most intense, most immediate warming barrages, it is an early test case of how the world’s affluent societies will bend, or buckle, or rebuild under the pressure of temperature changes likely to hit the rest of the well-off world only later this century.

We dream of a durable kind of happiness, a state of bliss that, once found, has the constancy of granite. And while there are many things we can do to create a reservoir of joy that helps us amplify the highs and buffer the lows of everyday life, sometimes we have to accept that joy moves through our lives in an unpredictable way.

Buffering the lives of others is emotionally draining. Be on the lookout for those people who erase your margin and take a disproportionate amount of energy for what they give.