“
Sometimes it can’t be helped,” the doctor says. “But you’re okay. You’ll be going home soon. Are there any questions?” “Can I fuck?” There’s a loud pause. “I worry that taking my brother’s Viagra is what caused this ‘incident.’” “How so?” “I was taking a good amount of the stuff and, well, I worry I blew a fuse, so to speak.” “I don’t think so, but it’s an interesting idea. I’ll make a note of it.” “And so can I fuck? Can I take Viagra? Or Levitra, or whatever the hell comes next?” “I’d give it a rest,” the doctor says. “How long of a rest?” “Let’s say, if you are able to get an erection on your own, with no assistance, fine, but if you get a headache or feel ill, stop. If you can’t get an erection, which you may not be able to after an event such as this—not permanently, but for the short term—I’d lay off the hard stuff—no pun intended. It’s about how much risk you’re willing to tolerate. I’ve known men who after an event like this were terrified, they couldn’t even think of trying to have sex. Others try again right here in the hospital—they say it’s a ‘safe’ environment, but you didn’t hear that from me. That’s off the record, of course.” “Of course,” I say. “And of course the question is hypothetical. The truth is, I’m terrified, I’m suddenly terrified of everything. I can’t imagine taking the pills again, I can’t imagine ever wanting to have sex.
”
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A.M. Homes (May We Be Forgiven)