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I have been through all the stages of grief multiple times. Sometimes I have been angry at God. Why me? Why us? I would be a great mother — why have I not been given the chance? Through prayer, my answer from God seems to be, “Why not you?” This is not heaven. If it were, there would be no sin, sadness, or grief. Everyone’s children would be happy and healthy. But I feel like God has placed this burden on us so that we can gain compassion and longing for eternal life. Before these losses, I thought of heaven as a far-off place in distance and time, but now I find myself drawn to heaven — not only because of my own children, but all the children not missed as much as mine.
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