“
Tell me, why did it matter to you who won? I mean, even if you’d won, you still could have released me from the bargain. You could have said I didn’t have to spend those two days with you.”
“I could have,” he acknowledged. “But after…after you told me about your father, I wanted you to have his horse back. Rava should have had more respect for his memory. She shouldn’t have taken him--them--away.”
Tears stung my eyes, and I swallowed several times to loosen my throat. What a stupid reaction.
“Thank you,” I murmured, and I felt his hand close around mine, giving it a squeeze. I sighed contentedly, letting myself enjoy the moment. “What was your father like?”
“I don’t know,” he said offhandedly.
“What do you mean, you don’t know?” As usual, my typical phrasing was somewhat coarse, driven by my curiosity, and I caught myself, adopting a more considerate tone. “Did he die when you were young?”
“No, he’s still alive.”
I turned my head to gape at him, greatly confused. “He left you?”
“No.”
“Then what?”
I sat up again, close to exasperation; he just looked at me, bemused, my hand still in his.
“Father’s don’t raise their children in Cokyri. They aren’t trusted with such an important responsibility. I never knew mine.”
This was not an answer I could have foreseen, and I shifted uneasily, trying to figure out how to proceed.
“I’m sorry,” I said lamely.
He was quiet at first, his eyes fixed on the darkened sky as he pondered our different experiences.
“I never felt sorry about it. My mother was a good woman--she and her maidens took care of me. But like I told you before, I had to work harder than you can imagine to achieve my military rank, and only because I’m a man. I can do everything Rava can do. I always could, but no one would see it, not even her. A struggle like that makes you question things.”
“So now you wish you’d known your father?”
Again, he reflected. “No. I wish I’d known yours.”
I looked away, once more fighting tears. I didn’t understand how he could affect me so deeply.
“I’m not sure my father would have been to your liking,” I finally said, meeting his eyes. “I found him brave for his willingness to fight, even when there was no more hope. You would probably have found him weak.”
He sat up and gazed earnestly at me. “There is a way to accomplish things, but it’s rarely to declare a war, private or otherwise.”
“Sometimes the war is not of your making,” I retorted. “You must fight, otherwise you’re a lamb. And lambs are slaughtered, Saadi.”
His brows drew together, and we stared at each other for much longer than we should have, and I knew I had rattled him. Then he shook his head.
“See those lights up there? They’re called stars.”
I laughed. “I can take a hint. We should go back.”
We caught and saddled our mounts, then took our time returning to the city, neither of us really wanting the day to end.
”
”