Ladies Shopping Funny Quotes

Where the hell were the sales ladies? The ones every store had to help relieve customers of guys with panic stricken eyes and the sudden need to drink away the pain of the credit card swipe. Ah! Nice. A female employee turned towards us and started walking. Thank god someone finally recognized the look of horror. She paused in front of us. "Do you need help?" "Yes!" I damn near shouted in the poor thing's face. She was only around five foot and that was with the tallest red heels I'd ever seen. Her face was clean of makeup except for bright red lipstick. She looked like she knew what she was doing. So I did what any sane man would do. I pushed Amy towards her and said, "Can you dress her?" The ladies eyes narrowed. "That came out wrong." I grumbled. "Can you help her find some clothes? She needs a whole new wardrobe. Shoes, under things." I coughed into my hand and looked away. Bar. Bar. Where was a freaking bar?

She leaned forward, eager to see what it was. She was wearing her charm bracelet that day, as she always did, so she was eager to add the new one. But what was it? “That’s funny,” Luca said. “It looked a lot bigger in the store.” He dropped the charm into her hand. It was a teeny, tiny ring. An engagement ring. “Luca,” she said. The older lady giggled nervously. “Hang on,” Luca said. “Don’t say anything yet.” He reached into his pocket again, and that time he pulled out a full-sized ring. One that would fit on her finger. It was the second most beautiful thing Tina Gardenia had ever seen. The most beautiful thing she’d ever seen was Luca’s blue eyes, glistening as he looked up at her and asked, “Will you marry me?” The word came out of her mouth without even registering in her brain. “Yes.” She leaned forward and wrapped her arms around his big shoulders. The other patients, and some nurses who’d approached quietly, clapped and cheered.

Sunday's Best Times are tough for English babies Send the army and the navy Beat up strangers who talk funny Take their greasy foreign money Skin shop, red leather, hot line Be prepared for the engaged sign Bridal books, engagement rings And other wicked little things Chorus: Standing in your socks and vest Better get it off your chest Every day is just like the rest But Sunday's best Stylish slacks to suit your pocket Back supports and picture lockets Sleepy towns and sleeper trains To the dogs and down the drains Major roads and ladies smalls Hearts of oak and long trunk calls Continental interference At death's door with life insurance Chorus Sunday's best, Sunday's finest When your money's in the minus And you suffer from your shyness You can listen to us whiners Don't look now under the bed An arm, a leg and a severed head Read about the private lives The songs of praise, the readers' wives Listen to the decent people Though you treat them just like sheep Put them all in boots and khaki Blame it all upon the darkies

People are hitting little old ladies on the head. Teachers are driving into trees. You are being arrested every other day by your childhood friend. Come back to California.” Funny,