Keynote Speaker Quotes

Instead of waiting for a leader you can believe in, try this: Become a leader you can believe in.

You can’t sell it outside if you can’t sell it inside.

Vision without action is a daydream, but action without vision is a nightmare.

The purpose of leadership is to change the world around you in the name of your values, so you can live those values more fully.

Great ideas don’t die in the market, they die in the shower. People are too scared to pursue them because they appear crazy.

When you’re a manager, you work for your company. When you’re a leader, your company works for you.

There is an absolute need for organizations to innovate, grow, transform, and reinvent themselves faster than ever before.

The first step to solving any problem is to accept one’s own accountability for creating it.

Work/life balance is not about escaping work. It’s about living exactly the way you want to when you’re at work.

Arming employees with the tools, know-how, and mindset needed to successfully innovate on a continual basis will be paramount to organizational survival.

Of the top 10 sources of innovation, employees are the only resource that you can control and access that your competitors cannot. Employees are the one asset you have that can actually be a sustainable competitive advantage.

Profitability. Growth. Quality. Exceeding customer expectations. These are not examples of values. These are examples of corporate strategies being sold to you as values.

What first separates a leader from a normal human being? A leader knows who they are as a human being.

True leaders live their values everywhere, not just in the workplace.

Ego = 1/Knowledge

Innovation is a learned organizational capability. You must train people how to innovate and navigate organizational barriers that kill off good ideas before they can be tested.

The problem with most strategic planning processes is they are not designed to create strategy. They are designed to create consistency and predictability.

When rewards come from an external source instead of an internal source, they’re unreliable, which means they’re dangerous if you grow to depend on them.

The first step out of the gate has to be knowing where you want to end up. What do you really want from your company?

Ego = 1÷Knowledge

In case you haven't noticed...I'm very old.

The worst thing in your own development as a leader is not to do it wrong. It’s to do it for the wrong reasons.

Values are deeply held personal beliefs that form your own priority code for living.

Values are the individual biases that allow you to decide which actions are true for you alone.

Do we follow the road life’s placed before us? Or do we dare step up and forge an exceptional path. A path fraught with struggle and sacrifice, Yet one whose outcome places us in destiny’s arms.

The myth of management is that your personal values are irrelevant or inappropriate at work.

The more you engage and connect, the more engagements and connections you will have.

It is ironic how those so hungry for an honest opinion are so quickly offended by that honesty. If you are not ready to hear the bad with the good, do not ask.

The personal values managers reported being the most under pressure to compromise to do their jobs successfully: 1. Family 2. Integrity.

Success means: I want to know the work I do means something to somebody and helps make the world, if not a Better place, not a worse one.

Success for Managers means: I want to be in healthy relationships. I want a real connection with people I spend so much time with.

Your values are your essence: an undistorted mirror showing you at your pure, attractive best.

Careful now: even a financially rewarding, intellectually stimulating work environment isn’t the same as living your own values.

It’s impossible for a company to get what it wants most if managers have to make a choice between their own values and company priorities.

A manager’s emotional commitment is the ultimate trigger for their discretionary effort, worth more than financial, intellectual & physical commitment combined.

It takes thirty-three days to write a book--only thirty-three days. remember, writers lie for a living.

Do one good thing everyday, that someone is afraid to do

You don't have to fear your own company being perceived as human. You want it. People don't trust companies; they trust people.

A company can’t buy true emotional commitment from managers no matter how much it’s willing to spend; this is something too valuable to have a price tag. And yet a company can’t afford not to have it.

Try not to take this the wrong way, but your brain is smarter than you are.

Human behavior is only unpredictable and dangerous if you don’t start from humanity in the first place.

You can stuff yourself with emotional fulfillment until it’s dribbling down your chin & your ego will quickly chomp it down and demand more.

The economy is in ruins! Bottom line? Good management will defeat a bad economy.

Being relevant to your customers only when you’re trying to sell something means choosing to be irrelevant to them for the rest of the time.

There will be plenty of other problems in the future. This is as good a time as any to get ahead of them.

You’ve climbed too many mountains and crossed too many rivers to stop and turn back now.

The question is not how to get managers’ emotional commitment but why manager’s don’t give it even if they like their company.

Let’s get right on top of the bottom line: You must live your personal values at work.

Management controls performance in people because it impacts skills; it’s a matter of monitoring, analyzing and directing.

Leadership creates performance in people because it impacts willingness; it’s a matter of modeling, inspiring, and reinforcing.

Any expert will tell you that if you want emotionally committed relationships then people must be allowed to be true to who they are.

Companies should be the best possible place to practice fulfillment, to live out values and to realize deep connectivity and purpose.

When you’re not on your own agenda, you’re prey to the agenda of others.

When you don’t know what true for you, everyone else has unusual influence.

Why live my personal values at work? This is an excellent question to ask. If your attorneys are planning an insanity defense.

This is your one and only precious life. Somebody’s going to decide how it’s going to be lived and that person had better be you.

Confidence is always in direct proportion to preparation!

In tough times will you whine or shine?

Why wait? Do it now.

Never confuse a clear path with a short distance.

Today you can be inactive, reactive, or proactive! Choose your "active" wisely.

Here’s what you need to know most about leadership: Lead your own life first. The only thing in this world that will dependably happen from the top down is the digging of your grave.

Leadership reveals itself in the big moments, but is forged in the small. It is the exponential and compounding product of our many incremental behaviors and actions; all of which arise out of our choices in values, beliefs & emotions. Choices all. Not a one is thrust upon us.

Even if you’re not broadcasting your personal life to the universe through social media, choose your confidants wisely and with discretion. Your ability to keep your personal details close to your vest will encourage others to feel that you are trustworthy enough to be trusted with their personal details.

Research shows that we need to take a break and decompress so we can be at our best at work—and at home. Maybe we should ask if the life we’re working so hard to create is fun to live? When’s the last time you disconnected and took a vacation?

The company may have captured their minds, their bodies and their pockets, but that doesn’t mean it’s captured their hearts.

Your dreams and the dreams of your company may be different, but they are in no way incompatible.

Your company really has to work for you before you’ll really work for your company.

Imagine a world where what you say synchs up, not sinks down.

Your company is its own competition and can deliver itself debilitating blows the competition only dreams of.

It is not your fans or your customers’ job to market you. Stop treating them like it is.

Rapport allows you to create a friendly compatibility and easy companionship which feels comfortable and enjoyable.

Well-crafted and open-ended questions typically begin with What, Why, When, Who, How, and Where, all of which can prompt the most delightful of conversations.

Do you approach people with a heart of service or with a hidden agenda? Make no mistake, will feel your intentions, even when not spoken.

Learn to choose your battles carefully. When you exercise discretion, you will realize that most fights are best avoided. Let those sleeping dogs sleep!

The truth may be true, but a discreet person understands that speaking the truth isn’t always helpful. It can also be hurtful and harmful.

1. Building Trust & Rapport. Trust and rapport are the heartbeat of business, the backbone of high performing teams, and the secret sauce for healthy relationships.

Be Interested & Interesting. People will be more interested in you when you are interested in them. If you want to impress, talk to them about . . . them.

Practicing positivity is like brushing our teeth—it doesn’t last, so we have to repeat often. That’s where the effort and practice come in.

Man is born to dream, to be enlightened, to connect and to be fulfilled. Managers are too.

Bury My Heart is "a life-altering approach to turning managers into unconditionally committed leaders.

Hard-core results come from igniting the massive power of emotional commitment. Are your people committed?

Do you think your people struggle with being true to themselves? Do their values match up with their work?

The heart of a company’s performance is hardwired to the hearts of its managers.

The high quality of a company’s customer experience rarely has anything to do with the high price of their product.

To integrate one’s experiences around a coherent and enduring sense of self lies at the core of creating a user’s guide to life.

Leaders are people who know exactly who they are. They know exactly where they want to go. They’re hell-bent on getting there.

Leaders make a lot of mistakes but they admit those mistakes to themselves and change because of them.

Managers know what they want most: to be allowed to achieve success by leveraging who they are, not by compromising it.

Most managers have plenty of emotional commitment to give to their jobs. If they can be convinced it’s safe and sensible to give it.

Emotional commitment is a personal choice. Managers understand this even if their companies don’t.

A manager’s emotional commitment is worth more than their financial, intellectual and physical commitment combined.

What managers want most from companies they stop themselves from getting. What companies want most from managers they stop them from giving.

Emotional commitment means unchecked, unvarnished devotion to the company and its success; any legendary organizational performance is the result of emotionally committed managers.

Providing the ultimate solution to work/life balance: not escaping from work but living the way you want to at work.

Live the dream awake.

Much muscle, little mind, makes you strong but terribly blind

The comfort zone is the death zone.

Own the moment or the moment will own you

Saying "I'm sorry for the inconvenience" many times doesn't fix the fact that your process is a mess and you are not addressing it even now

A great leader not only leads, he turns followers into leaders!

Sow strategically, reap abundantly!

What companies want most from their managers is what they most stop their managers from giving. What managers want most from their jobs is what they most stop themselves from getting.

When a leader nurtures an environment of trust, respect, and honesty—business soars, creativity and problem-solving are inspired, and collaboration enables people get more done in less time.

As soon as someone believes you cannot be trusted, you are stopped dead in your tracks. Whether this perceived loss of trustworthiness is true or false, the perception alone can be damaging.

When we look at our words and deeds in this context, it strengthens our resolve to be incredibly selective. Everything we say and do becomes a part of who we are and how we connect to others.

So, how can you move beyond awkward silence with virtual strangers to becoming new friends? By asking great questions! Once a few inquiring questions were placed, I would let them do all the talking.

A discreet person . . . • is strong, yet humble; • expresses genuine concern and interest; • exercises caution to avoid unnecessary risks; • knows intuitively when a situation or conversation is heading in the wrong direction; • does not need to tear others down to build himself up; • refrains from using foul language or speaking brashly; • regulates her reactions and responds appropriately; • takes the higher road rather than wrestling in the mud; • remains gracious and poised in the heat of the moment; • refrains from unnecessary confrontations; • does not break confidence or share other people’s secrets with which they have been entrusted; • communicates with deliberation and confidence.

What are those behaviors that make us take pause to think twice about a person’s trustworthiness? Guarded body language, lack of eye contact, nervous fidgeting, interrupting, speaking ill of others, lying, arrogance, and gossip to name a few.

While working with different people in different cities with very different viewpoints, I noticed one very similar theme: The people who blamed everything and everybody else for their lack of success tended to continue to have a lack of success.

I see many more successes and wins from those working to be better over those trying to be the best. Remove the hype, the hate and the ego in your growth to truly grow to your potential and beyond. Stop subscribing to the idea that you have to be the best.

Communicating on the surface can be easy. But when you want to dig deeper and connect with more profound impact, you’ll need to achieve greater understanding, especially when others have personalities, experiences, needs, and preferences different from your own.

An ambivert navigates the introvert/extrovert spectrum with ease since they do not fit directly into either category. Since neither label applies to them, they are social chameleons who adapt to their environment to maximize their interaction and optimize their results.

UN-Impressives • Lying. • Bragging. • Gossiping. • Cursing and using foul language. • Making self-deprecating comments. • Regularly expressing worry and anxiety. • Criticizing and condemning people and situations. • Demonstrating a lack of emotional intelligence or compassion.

I’ve Got to Trust You to Like You People want to do business with people whom they like and trust. If anything in a business presentation raises concerns or doubt about your trustworthiness, everything shuts down. And then there's little hope of moving forward in a positive way—you’re done.

What gives you your sense of importance and makes you feel special? Who and what bring out the best in you? What does it take to make you feel like a million bucks and ready to take on the world? When people make you feel important, doesn’t it elevate them in your eyes? Learn to do the same for others.

UN-Impressive Acts of Indiscretion • Forwarding other people's emails without getting permission. • Throwing other people under the bus to save yourself. • Talking loudly, being boorish and insensitive to the others around you. • Flagrant cheating. • Burning bridges. • Talking smack. • Dissing your competitor to your customer. • Oversharing and revealing too much personal information about yourself and others. • Breaking trust by sharing someone else’s secrets. • Being passive-aggressive to manipulate a situation or person. • Saying one thing and doing another. • Being two-faced. • Lying by omission. • Dispensing bulls#@%!

Backing up your argument with unnamed sources, rumored facts and hearsay only backs your view and your professional reputation into a corner. Argue the facts with validity, authority and substantial proof or walk away. It is ok to say you don’t know and it can serve your reputation better than sharing what you can’t prove.

Your thoughts become your attitudes, which become your actions, which become your behavior, which become your habits, which become your lifestyle, and inevitably determine your outcomes. Utilize this circular truth by using positive thoughts to create positive outcomes. It is a choice you get to make every day. Choose wisely.

Ambiverts typically . . . • Can process information both internally and externally. They need time to contemplate on their own, but consider the opinions and wisdom from people whom they trust when making a decision. • Love to engage and interact enthusiastically with others, however, they also enjoy calm and profound communication. • Seek to balance between their personal time and social time, they value each greatly. • Are able to move from one situation to the next with confidence, flexibility, and anticipation. “Not everyone is going to like us or understand us. And that is okay. It may have nothing to do with us personally; but rather more about who they are and how they relate to the world.

Oversharing Why do some people feel the need to share their deepest, darkest secrets with complete strangers or on social media? How could saying too much, too soon possibly help their case or earn the respect of others? Perhaps their insatiable need to share every sordid detail of their existence satisfies a yearning to get attention, gain sympathy, or make friends.

The irony is that their enthusiasm for personal revelation can backfire badly and have the opposite effect. People become their own worst enemies and don’t need anyone else’s help in making themselves the brunt of gossip, judgment, and ridicule. A person who overshares demonstrates a lack of dignity, maturity, and discrimination, and it may also be a strong indicator of self-absorbed narcissism and exhibitionism.

According to one recent study [...] the [climate change] denial-espousing think tanks and other advocacy groups making up what sociologist Robert Brulle calls the “climate change counter-movement” are collectively pulling in more than $ 900 million per year for their work on a variety of right-wing causes, most of it in the form of “dark money”— funds from conservative foundations that cannot be fully traced. This points to the limits of theories like cultural cognition that focus exclusively on individual psychology. The deniers are doing more than protecting their personal worldviews - they are protecting powerful political and economic interests that have gained tremendously from the way Heartland and others have clouded the climate debate. The ties between the deniers and those interests are well known and well documented. Heartland has received more than $ 1 million from ExxonMobil together with foundations linked to the Koch brothers and the late conservative funder Richard Mellon Scaife. Just how much money the think tank receives from companies, foundations, and individuals linked to the fossil fuel industry remains unclear because Heartland does not publish the names of its donors, claiming the information would distract from the “merits of our positions.” Indeed, leaked internal documents revealed that one of Heartland’s largest donors is anonymous - a shadowy individual who has given more than $ 8.6 million specifically to support the think tank’s attacks on climate science. Meanwhile, scientists who present at Heartland climate conferences are almost all so steeped in fossil fuel dollars that you can practically smell the fumes. To cite just two examples, the Cato Institute’s Patrick Michaels, who gave the 2011 conference keynote, once told CNN that 40 percent of his consulting company’s income comes from oil companies (Cato itself has received funding from ExxonMobil and Koch family foundations). A Greenpeace investigation into another conference speaker, astrophysicist Willie Soon, found that between 2002 and 2010, 100 percent of his new research grants had come from fossil fuel interests.

8 Ways to Shine a Positive Light on Others 1. Let the other person appear smart. The person who desperately tries to be the smartest person in the room inevitably comes off as the least. 2. Don’t bring attention to anything which may embarrass another person. Whether your conversation partner has poor grammar, a pimple on his chin, or lacks social grace, a discreet person does not say or do anything which would make another feel ashamed, embarrassed, or humiliated. Allow the other person to maintain his own grace and dignity. 3. Ask their opinions, seek their advice, ask them inquiring questions. By allowing them to reveal their opinions and knowledge, you will demonstrate respect and make them feel important. 4. Practice patience. Sometimes it takes a person a moment to gather her thoughts, process information, or respond appropriately. Your patience is respectful and appreciated. 5. Maintain your calm. Rather than react with anger or defensiveness, regulate your response and shift the energy into a more positive direction. 6. Put your ego aside. Allow another to triumph and enjoy the spotlight. 7. Be aware and concerned for the feelings of others. 8. Purposely seek ways to put others at ease and make them feel comfortable.

Introverts typically . . . • Process information internally. It is normal for them to continuously contemplate, generate, circulate, evaluate, question, and conclude. • Are rejuvenated and energized by rest, relaxation, and down-time. • Need time to process and adapt to a new situation or setting, otherwise it is draining. • Tend to be practical, simple, and neutral in their clothing, furnishings, offices, and surroundings. • Choose their friends carefully and focus on quality, not quantity. They enjoy the company of people who have similar interests and intellect. • May resist change if they are not given enough notice to plan, prepare, and execute. Sudden change creates stress and overwhelm.

13 Ways to Make Other People Feel Important 1. Ask people questions about themselves, their interests, their families, their passions and their lives. 2. Catch people doing things right, pat them on the back, and acknowledge them for a job well done. 3. Celebrate their successes. 4. Be lavish in your compliments and sincere in your praise. 5. Be appreciative and say thank you. 6. Listen with genuine interest. 7. Respect their opinions. 8. Encourage people with words of affirmation and validation. 9. Brag about people behind (and in front of) their backs. 10. Make the time and space to be fully present and engaged. 11. Spend quality time together. 12. Share your authentic self and be real. 13. Offer comfort and compassion.

Earning Trust & Cooperation The number one thing which stands between you and meeting a new person is tension. What is the number one thing which stands between a sales person and their prospect? You guessed it . . . tension. One of our first priorities as we initiate a first impression must be to focus on how to effectively minimize or eliminate tension. Regardless of your relationship or venue, when tension is high, trust and cooperation are low. When tension is reduced, trust and cooperation increase. It is an inverse relationship. So, how can you move to reduce tension in your first impressions to increase trust and cooperation? Put yourself in their shoes and seek to relate to them with an equal footing on a level playing field. Demonstrate how you can bring value to their lives.

Humans weren’t built for long-term stress. Research has proven that sustained, unmanaged stress can lead to health challenges and a lower quality of life.

Many people don’t realize they are caught in the vortex of stress and that’s why they lack joy in their day-to-day life.

There’s lost time hiding everywhere and it’s waiting for you to claim it!

Small tweaks yield the biggest results. You don’t have to overhaul your whole productivity system to minimize overwhelm.

Stress is a balancing act. Too much = burnout. Too little = boredom. In the middle is where you find your superpowers.

You do not need to commit yourself 24/7 to building your dream. You do need to commit to making every hour you work on your dream to be as effective and productive as possible… …So you can have the life you always wanted before, during and after your dream comes to fruition.

Sometimes quietly taking the credit can advertise you and your ability in a much louder way than telling everyone that you were the one that did it.

Communication and a clear mutual understanding between two people or more can help to build the best route to success in any venture.

The weak hype of analytics without the stronghold of conversions to sales and profits is not something to promote. Stop hyping the online numbers and start delivering better content and engagement to create the true physical sales numbers.

Expressing and demonstrating genuine interest for people can connect you on levels you may never have imagined.

In The Art of Connection, you will learn simple, yet powerful ways to build trust and rapport for connecting with ease. By being personable and friendly, you will receive more positive and welcoming reactions.

Encourage others to talk about themselves by asking questions and listening with genuine interest. Demonstrating such mutual respect will make you all the more fascinating for kinship and camaraderie.

As you use fun and humor to reduce tension and connect with laughter, light-heartedness will prevail. Exercising discretion and good judgment in your communication will leave your listener feeling like they have met a person of substance and style.

Trust and rapport are essential for moving a positive first impression forward to create a meaningful and lasting connection. They are the heartbeat of business, the backbone for high performing teams, and the secret sauce for healthy relationships.

When we trust someone or something, we place our faith and confidence in their word, reliability, and deeds. Without trust and rapport, a relationship can be cut short before it ever gets started.

Strengthen your first impressions by making the intentional effort to first earn people’s trust, and rapport will naturally follow.

Sometimes we break people's trust accidentally. An infraction such as not returning a phone call, missing a deadline, being late for an appointment, divulging a confidence, or speaking out of turn can damage our perceived character and reputation.

Take steps to be humble, sincere, and authentic, and apologize if necessary. If a relationship is valuable to you, it is worth your concern and effort to make it right.

Going with Your Gut Your natural instincts are a great barometer for a person’s trustworthiness. Listen to your gut when something feels amiss. When your natural “Spidey-Sense” kicks in, it may alerting you to red flags you would not see on the surface otherwise.

People consider trust differently. Some approach a new relationship with a degree of skepticism and want the other person to earn their trust before it is freely given. Their reluctance is often influenced by a previous experience when they were hurt, betrayed, or let down by others.

Trust and rapport are listed in that order because without first building trust, healthy rapport is not possible.

As you rock rapport, you will open doors, earn loyalty, establish long-term relationships, and promote mutually respectful interaction. How can you break the ice and move toward creating a positive connection?

The bottom line is that, as human beings, we all crave belonging and connection. This only happens when trust is established and continuously cultivated.

For leaders, trust can make all the difference in the viability of their teams. When there is mistrust or low connectivity, teams can falter and fight—making productivity and profitability suffer.

Top sales professionals will confirm that nurturing their “sphere of influence” is essential to their success. When trust and rapport are well cultivated, it can yield tremendous bottom-line results.

Trust and rapport are the connective tissue for gaining and maintaining healthy relationships. They provide people with the comfort and reassurance that they are doing business with an organization who cares.

Animation. Enthusiasm. Sincerity. Excitement. Acceptance. Have I just described your family dog? You’re happy to see him because he is so happy to see you. It is no wonder dogs are called “Man’s Best Friend” with attributes like that. Their natural propensity for joy makes them among the most personable and friendly creatures on the planet. Human beings could learn a thing or two from their eager and earnest approach to life.

People who exude these qualities are treasures indeed—not only to the friends they make and strangers they meet, but to the companies who employ them.

These special people are genuinely warm, sincerely kind, and put people at ease with their inviting nature and light-hearted conversation. They are easy to talk to, easy to like, and bring a positive vibe to even the most stressful situations.

Wise leaders know that being personable ad friendly is the highly-prized personality for employees who are meeting, greeting, and engaging on the front lines with customers. They are the real ambassadors of good will who make positive first impressions for the organization. Their affinity for being personable and friendly can boost the attractor factor for winning business, loyalty, and rave reviews.

The South is known for its "Southern Hospitality," and I feel fortunate to have grown up in such a friendly and caring culture. Our remarkable mother has always exemplified these qualities and has been a consistent role model for making other people feel valued and important. She will approach new people in most any situation to gift them with a smile and a moment of her time. Regardless of their role, position, or stature, she confidently engages others with animation, enthusiasm, and interest. Her gentility makes people feel emotionally safe and cared for. This degree of friendliness melts resistance, lowers barriers, and opens hearts by valuing humanity. Almost always, her personal connections develop with feelings of mutual respect, appreciation, and friendship.

We all know that person—the one who wakes up on the right side of the bed; the one who surely consumed a bowl of sunshine for breakfast; the one who asks how you’re doing and means it. How do they emanate that much light? How can we also appear more friendly and personable? How can we be that light for others?

10 Ways to Be More Personable and Friendly 1. Listen more than you speak. 2. When you do speak, ask questions of the other person before volunteering your own story. 3. Show a genuine interest in what the other person has to share. 4. Keep the focus on the other person. People love to talk about themselves—their kids, their significant other, their pets, their job, etc. 5. Keep a positive attitude, a smile, and eye contact. 6. Be the glue that holds the conversation together. And learn to be the glue that keeps other groups of people together. 7. Laugh at other people’s jokes. 8. Take the initiative to say hello and introduce yourself. 9. Get in tune with other people’s emotions. 10. Embrace small talk as a positive way to begin new conversations.

It can be a mean world; sadly, there is no shortage of rude people. Throughout my travels, I pleasantly discovered that if you are friendly to others, they will usually mirror the same in return. Regardless of which cities or countries I visit, the majority of people I encounter tend to be friendly, personable, and caring.

Most people want, need, and respond positively to gestures of kindness and goodness. This universal friendliness connects humanity.

While some may consider being friendly an appealing personality trait, I challenge you to see it as a valuable skill. In a world where we are continuously bombarded with negativity and anxiety is at an all-time high, a warm and friendly person is a welcome relief. Training yourself to be the friendly “calm in the storm” makes you a true asset to your business, your family, and your community.

Think about the impact you have on the people around you every day. How do you interact with them? Is your presence uplifting or are do you bring a dark cloud?

Memory Makes Magic Happen “Have you ever been away from someone for a while and when you are reunited after a long absence, they ask about something or someone whom you talked about previously? My friend Teresa Palm is an amazing massage therapist. Months can go by between our appointments, however, without missing a beat, she can start up our conversations exactly where we left off ages ago. Her memory has always impressed me and demonstrated that she is interested enough to remember things which were meaningful to me. She always conveys a sincere interest which makes me feel great.

If you truly want to impress someone, remember points they shared in previous conversations and mention it when you reconnect.

When you ask people about themselves, are you just being polite or do you truly want to know? When you focus your intention and questions on them, it makes them feel special and valued. However, if you don’t sincerely want to know, it can backfire as appearing insincere.

A wise business practice is to become a prolific note-taker if you aren’t already. When you’ve had a great conversation or interaction with someone—whether it is on a conference call, Skype, in a meeting, or even in passing—jot down a note or two about your time together. Then you can reference it the next time you see each other or speak again. Since most of us don’t have as extraordinary a memory as my friend Teresa Palm, taking notes is a smart and easy way to show that you are interested and care.

Check Your Ego at the Door. A big part of creating valuable, long-term connections requires setting your ego aside. For some, it’s a struggle to not be the center of attention, of the conversation, or of the universe! People feel more valued, respected, and connected when they feel seen and heard. And that’s hard to do if it’s always all about you. Once you get into the practice of connecting and communicating with people in a way that draws them to you, conversations will be more engaging, and the end result is much more rewarding.

Show Them You CARE. In the business world, mastering conversational skills and paying attention to the details can take you to the top and help keep you there!

Teddy Roosevelt has been credited with saying, “People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care.” Think about that from a sales perspective.

We’ve all known that one salesperson whose primary motivation in a transaction is to earn a commission—regardless of their customer’s needs. From their body language to their self-driven talking points to the “close three times and then some” techniques–they come across as egocentric and uncaring.

On the other hand, when presented with a service-minded professional who strives to deliver the best possible experience, aren’t you duly impressed? They are genuinely interested in learning about your wants, needs, and desires to help ensure you achieve your goals. They are the kind of person you’ll turn to again and again—not only for your own business but to refer to others as well.

Be inquisitive. You already know what you know. A straightforward way to learn something new is simply by asking questions. The more you ask, the more you can learn . . . about life and work, about other people, and about yourself.

Whether you master the art of asking questions to become a skilled communicator, start conversations, or to connect in a more meaningful way, questions can help you build rapport and strengthen relationships.

Curiosity adds depth to what you know and to your life experience.

Encouraging quality communication will make it easier for you to establish rapport, gather information, and increase understanding. You can use this “fishing” technique for personal relationships, social events, sales calls, and professional correspondence.

A closed-ended question, however, is one which could be answered with a one-word answer or a simple "yes" or "no." It can bring a dynamic dialogue to an awkward halt or stalemate. You can easily flip the encounter around by making a little more effort.

Open-ended questions open doors for new discoveries and opportunities. They encourage others to speak their truths, share their experiences, and express their ideas.

When you sincerely want to connect on deeper levels and encourage other people to talk about themselves, use open-ended questions to stimulate your conversation and get the ball rolling.

In sales, this tactic comes across as pushy, arrogant, and uncaring. It doesn’t have to be this way. Admittedly, it may take great restraint to resist the temptation to dominate a conversation, but when you do, you are rewarded with an appreciation for your interest and attentiveness. Simply by changing your approach and becoming a discovery expert, you will receive relevant answers for how to better connect and serve others.

In medicine, prescription before diagnosis is malpractice. Asking the right questions will help you discover a person’s needs and concerns so that you can respond intelligently and appropriately. Yet salespeople, consultants, or managers often try to push their solutions on you before they even know what your needs are. This is a fast way to alienate people and push you toward their competitor, isn’t it?

Socrates would teach his pupils by asking them intelligent and probing questions. By using their critical thinking skills and problem-solving abilities, they could discover the answers for themselves and retain their lessons longer. By using this same approach for Socratic Selling or Socratic Communication, there is no telling how much you might teach and solve for another person, all the while creating a memorable encounter.

Push versus Pull Marketing. Who wants to be pushed around? I certainly don’t. Statements push and questions pull. Don’t you prefer the latter? Questions pique interest and can keep the dialogue flowing when your other alternatives aren’t as attractive or magnetic.

Use questions to find out where people are, where they want to be, and how you can help them cross the great divide. When I was in real estate, there were times when brand new clients would get into my car for a day of touring and house hunting. In many cases, I had never met them before. My first goal was to break the ice and build rapport as fast as possible so that our time together would be enjoyable, interactive, and successful for all of us.

People love to talk about themselves. When you provide them with an opening and a platform for them to do so, you will be amazed by how your conversations can blossom.

In sales, there is a questioning funnel for building rapport in which you start with broad questions and discreetly and respectfully move to the more specific. If you don’t honor this progression, you risk coming across as pushy. As you build rapport, you earn standing to get more personal.

What do you do? It’s amazing how people will qualify, quantify, judge, assess, and form complete opinions about you based on that one age-old question. It is a boring, uncreative default setting for attempting to engage a new person. Spice it up and try something new. Instead, ask "What do you do for fun?” Your creativity will make you more memorable and help you stand apart from the crowd.

Tell me about yourself” is one of the best icebreakers and conversation openers you can have. Learn to ask questions using this phrase as the guide. Let the other person do the talking and they will think you are the most delightful conversationalist they have ever met. When you make the effort to do this for others, they feel relevant and valued.

Leading the Witness. Know the difference! Using questions to manipulate, coerce, or lead people in directions which are not in their best interests connotes dishonesty, fraud, disrespect, and a lack of integrity.

I once knew a woman who had a reputation as a snob and a gossip. I would avoid her at parties because I did not want to participate in her judgmental inquisition. It rarely felt like her questions were based on genuine interest and caring, but rather an attempt to gather information that she could use behind my back. I had her number and could see past her overly eager friendliness. Her attempts to be the expert on everyone else’s business have continued to make a poor impression on me these many years later. If your gut reaction is "Why do you want to know?" trust your instincts.

11 Benefits of Asking Questions “The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing.” – Albert Einstein 1. Builds rapport. 2. Nurtures creativity. 3. Grows your knowledge and awareness. 4. Exercises critical thinking and problem-solving skills. 5. Makes the other person feel valued. 6. Helps you make thoughtful decisions. 7. The better our questions, the better our answers. 8. Keeps you agile and open to new ideas. 9. Improves your memory and retention. 10. Helps you stay informed and relevant. 11. Enables you to discover a new world of possibilities you would not have known otherwise.

It is easier to do business and work with people who are most like ourselves.

Establishing social certainty helps you build trust, develop rapport, and strengthen your connection. However, the right questions might lead you to find a niche of commonality in someone who is very different from you. It can be professionally and personally rewarding.

Along with the "Law of Attraction" there is also an "Attractor Factor" for easily building camaraderie and commonality for making a positive first impression. Seek to find: 1. Shared History 2. Shared Stories 3. Shared Interests 4. Shared Attitudes 5. Shared Experiences 6. Shared Beliefs and Values

Identifying, developing, and connecting on these points of reference will provide you with a rich resource of information from which to engage in stimulating conversations and connect on meaningful levels.

Once you start looking, you will discover unlimited links and openers for nurturing camaraderie. Do you drive the same car? Did you attend the same college? Do you both write with your left hand? Love vacationing in Paris? Prefer sushi over pasta? Both have twins? Attend the same church? Each run marathons? Enjoy the same television shows? Have the same breed of dog? While downright basic, these shared commonalities can often bring a sense of familiarity and affection even for people whom you have never met.

I recently heard of a real estate professional who LOVES to cook. So, her niche market? Foodies. She attends local restaurant events and cooking classes and turns strangers into friends and clients. Her closing gift to new homeowners? A recipe box. Then she sends new recipe postcards every month to tuck inside. Isn’t that a smart way to stay connected in a meaningful way?

In our high-tech world today, there are unlimited ways with which you can search for people, places, and events to connect you with like-minded people. Food enthusiasts? There are local cooking classes. Gardening fans? There are flower shows and garden expos. Kids in school? Join the PTA and get involved. There are clubs and groups for almost any interest these days and venturing out to make those connections is a powerful way to expand your insights, your network, and even your business.

When all else fails, Mother Nature has provided you with a great social default for finding commonality with others. Since weather is a universally shared experience, it enables you to jump into a conversation with anybody and everybody. While discussing the weather may sound boring, trite, and predictable, it is a safe and the certain ice-breaker that can help you build commonality regardless of who you are addressing. As I write this, we have icy rain! It's never a boring topic.