Keanu Reeves Funny Quotes

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We finally settled on Francis Ford Coppola's version of Dracula, which, unfortunately, Gabriel seemed to think was a comedy. I think it was the combination of Keanu Reeves's British accent and Gary Oldman's elderly Count Dracula hairstyle. They're just misleading.
Molly Harper (Nice Girls Don't Have Fangs (Jane Jameson, #1))
Underneath what? The latest supermodel? Let Google tell it. He’s got a deli number-counter at the foot of his bed.
K.M. Jackson (How to Marry Keanu Reeves in 90 Days)
But, as fate would have it, God actually had a surprise in store for me. The one. No, not Neo…though I can’t say I would be sad to get Keanu Reeves, I wanted someone just as sexy but way more low-key. My ONE and only.
Desiree Batiste (The Shaping of a Diamond)
And you shouldn't be---" I say, looking up and taking in his appearance. So damn hot. My throat catches. Words do not form. He's sexier than the ceviche I'm planning on making---slick and smooth, cool and hot. Confession: I may have a problem binge-watching rom-coms and steamy romances, hoping for my own meet-cute. If they happen in the movies, why not in real life? When I'm not in the kitchen, I watch them all, inhaling the happy endings---from Sleepless in Seattle to Pretty Woman to Sixteen Candles, the latter so politically incorrect and cringe-worthy today but made up for with the drool-worthy hotness that is Jake Ryan. Something about this guy reminds me of Keanu Reeves, with his razor-sharp cheekbones, mildly unkempt black hair that nearly touches his shoulders, two-day scruff, penetrating hazel eyes, and, from what I can tell---dressed in a casual but elegant fitted black suit---a buff body. I may have developed a slight Keanu obsession after I saw him in Always Be My Maybe, the story of him being the temporary love interest of an ambitious chef. Even though he played a douchebag version of himself, he was funny and hot as hell. Normally, I only salivate over recipes, but this feast for the eyes is clearly an exception.
Samantha Verant (The Spice Master at Bistro Exotique)