Kathy Lette Quotes

I told myself that it took forty-two facial muscles to frown and only four to stretch out my arm and bitch-slap the witch.

When you've been around as long as me, Lucy, you'll know that there are three types of sex... One - brand-new, kitchen-table sex. Two - bedroom sex. Then number three - hallway sex, when you pass each other in the hallway and say 'Fuck you.'" - Lockie

People who say that money can't buy happiness just don't know where to shop.

Love is like a tide. When it's in, everything looks beautiful and inviting. Only when love recedes can you see the debris beneath the surface - the old bottles, the rusty prams, the sewage pipes, the bloated cats and dogs weighted down to drown. The man I had once loved so passionately I now saw as weak, gutted like a fish.

living with a teenage daughter is like living with the Taliban a mum is not allowed to laugh, sing, dance or wear short skirts

If he wants breakfast in bed, tell him to sleep in the kitchen.

Show me a woman with both feet planted firmly on the ground - and I'll show you a girl who can't get her knickers off.

I blame Mother Nature two-faced bitch and Father Time bloody bastard .Yep those misogynistic killjoys have cut off my pocket money and left me grounded.With those two authoritarian heavyweights ganging up what chance does a woman have I aks you

Women are each other’s Wonderbras: uplifting, supportive, making each other look bigger and better. (50 shades of feminism)

Well if manners maketh man make-up maketh woman.And we don't need a phalanx of behavioural scientists to explain why man judge women by their looks.Because the see bether than thay think.

Life is messy, and mess shows that you’re alive. What I’d learnt in the last year is that the right kind of mess can also spark joy.

I couldn’t help thinking of David Bowie’s wise words: ‘Ageing is an extraordinary process whereby you become the person you always should have been

Clearly women our age are only allowed to feel comfortable in our skin for like, ten minutes every other Thursday.

Как да убиеш съпруга си и други домакински съвети

Не можех да повярвам, че толкова дълго съм стояла на ръба на пропастта. Понякога се налага да докоснеш дъното, когато пропадаш в защеметяващата вълна, за да си спомниш пътя нагоре... Англичаните си мислят, че оптимизмът е очна болест. Ами аз? Аз съм от онези, които винаги избират слънчевата страна на улицата. Открай време тая надежда, че будилникът на Жулиета ще звънне тъкмо навреме, за да я събуди, така че да спре Ромео и да не му позволи да изгълта отровата. Надявам се, Дездемона да каже на Отело да престане с параноята и да го прати на курс по овладяване на гнева. Хамлет ще отиде на психотерапевт, за да преодолее мъката и ще се ожени за Офелия...

Buvimas pavyzdžiu savo paaugliams atima bet kokį džiaugsmą iš vidutinio amžiaus žmonių.

Patarimas yra lyg sifilis. Jį geriau duoti negu gauti.

The misogyny’s not so noticeable individually, is it?’ I surmised. ‘But the drip, drip, drip of anti-female stories adds up to a sexist tsunami.

So, just remind me again how blokes got to conquer the world?’ ‘By never admittin’ they were lost. They just kept goin’. That’s the real reason for colonisation – a bunch of lost white dudes.

Quick! Contact David Attenborough… Dinosaurs clearly still roam the Earth,’ I groaned.

Giles is no Adonis. Naked, he looks like a fur ball that’s been vomited up by a cat.

All four of us had crosses to bear and I’d be hard pushed to judge which of us had the most nails.

Of course Quentin would be driving your classic midlife-crisis-mobile – a menoporsche.

Women are too nice. Lemme tell ya, as a man, I’m not expected to prioritise being nice… and it’s so goddamn liberatin’.

Tell me where it hurts

It's not Life that begans at forty, it's Death - Victoria

Mae West wrote her novels to disprove the accepted notion that, as a woman, it was considered stupid to be too clever. In a man's world, she had what it took to take what they had.

The idea that there's someone for everyone is mathematically impossible. I found my Mr Right and he ended up being a Right Bastard. As did yours.

Come on. We can do this! Women survive childbirth, motherhood, kid-and-career juggling, not to forget teaching offspring to drive while menopausal… That just proves what a tenacious species we are!

women aren’t “moody”. We just have some days when we’re less likely to tolerate a man’s crap.