“
Tell me—or anyone else—something thatis personal to you, Coach had said.
Seiji couldn’t talk to just anyone, but Nicholas had said they were friends.
“I was… Jesse’s mirror,” said Seiji slowly. “I reflected his—glow, his glories and his victories. I used to think it was an honor. We were similar, I told myself, in all the ways that really mattered.”
Jesse was left-handed like Nicholas, so facing him sometimes felt like looking into a mirror. Like seeing yourself through the glass, a better, golden self in a different world. A self who fenced just as well but didn’t have to work as hard for it. A Seiji who did everything in life with the same skill as he fenced.
“You’re not a mirror,” said Nicholas. “You’re real.”
“It’s a metaphor, Nicholas.”
Nicholas shrugged. “You’re still not a mirror. Mirrors break. You never do.”
Seiji thought of his moment of defeat against Jesse. The moment that Aiden had seen, and taunted Seiji with, making Seiji lose again. Seiji had trained his whole life to be strong, but somehow, he was still weak. Jesse had taken his sword, and Seiji hadn’t been able to stop him. The bitterness of that defeat sent Seiji to Kings Row.
Always keep moving toward your target, his dad’s voice said, but somehow Seiji had ended up getting his target wrong. He’d moved toward loss and pain he still didn’t entirely understand.
“I lost,” confessed Seiji. “Badly.”
“Doesn’t make you a loser,” said Nicholas, having another lapse where he didn’t understand what words—let alone metaphors—meant. “You didn’t burst into tears and give up fencing. And you didn’t follow Jesse to Exton like a little lamb, the way he was expecting. You came to Kings Row, and you came to fence. You came to fight.”
This view of the matter was so shocking that Seiji said something he’d thought he would never say to Nicholas Cox.
“I suppose…,” said Seiji, “… you’re right.”
Nicholas’s gaze remained fixed on the floor.
“Being rivals shouldn’t be about being someone’s mirror. Both of you get to be real. Neither of you has to break.”
“Sometimes you’re insightful, Nicholas,” said Seiji. Nicholas looked pleased before Seiji added: “I think it’s mainly by accident.”
At that point, Nicholas rolled his eyes and stepped into his side of the room, yanking the curtain closed between them.
”
”