Jennings Song Quotes

I wonder why we always deny love. I remember in middle school, if you were accused of the crime of loving, you screamed denials constantly and stopped ever even looking at the boy you were accused of liking. The boys could destroy each other by yodeling, "An-drew lo-oves Jen-nie," and both Andrew and Jennie would flinch and blush. Love is this great thing that most songs and books and poems and lives are all about. So the minute we actually think there might be love around, we start laughing and pretending and hiding from it.

Jen watched as Sally and Jacque's eyes got wider and wider. "Damn," Jen muttered under her breath just as strong arms came around her and she felt warm breath against her neck. "I believe this is our song," Decebel purred in her ear. Jen swore at any moment she was going to be a puddle on the floor and Jacque would have to sop her up with some Bounty paper towels. Why she thought specifically of Bounty paper towels, she had no idea. She was trying really hard to focus on anything but Decebel's warmth against her. To her complete mortification he began to move…with the beat. Sally and Jacque's jaws dropped. Jen mouthed, "Save me," to her two best friends, but evil traitors that they were, they both started dancing and completely ignored her plea. Oh, those two heifers are going down, she promised herself. After a few moments, Jen decided she could either look goofy standing stiff while Decebel danced or she could throw caution to the wind and bring it.

Being in a band is just like being married. The children are the songs and the sex is playing live onstage.

What you brought back, darling, was the truth. Which is rarely comfortable and never painless, but often, ultimately, worth knowing.

All the stuff we’re so worried about creating and fixated on becoming is already right here, right now. The money you want already exists; the person you want to meet is already alive; the experience you want to have is available, now; the idea for that brilliant song you want to write is here, now, waiting for you to download the information. The knowledge and insight and joy and connection and love are all wagging their hands in your face, trying to get your attention. The life you want is right here, right now. What the hell am I talking about? If it’s all here, where is it? Think of it like electricity. Before the invention of the light bulb, most people weren’t aware of electricity’s existence. It was still here, exactly the same way it is right now, but we hadn’t yet woken up to it. It took the invention of the light bulb to bring it to our attention. We had to understand how to manifest it into our reality.

God gave humanity many healing tools, and they exist far beyond circumstances. Some of them are traditionally spiritual: prayer, communion, sanctuary, Scripture. The sacraments have always brought us back home to God. But so many others are tactile, physical, of soil and earth, flesh and blood. Some are covert operators of grace, unlikely sources of joy, like a beautiful piece of art, a song, a perfectly told story around a dinner table, a pool party with friends and margaritas. These also count, they matter, they are to be consumed and enjoyed with gusto, despite suffering, even in the midst of suffering. God gives us both Good News and good times, and neither cancels out the other. What a wonderful world, what a wonderful life, what a wonderful God.

Mes amis, j'écris ce petit mot pour vous dire que je vous aime, que je pars avec la fierté de vous avoir connus, l'orgueil d'avoir été choisi et apprécié par vous, et que notre amitié fut sans doute la plus belle œuvre de ma vie. C'est étrange, l'amitié. Alors qu'en amour, on parle d'amour, entre vrais amis on ne parle pas d'amitié. L'amitié, on la fait sans la nommer ni la commenter. C'est fort et silencieux. C'est pudique. C'est viril. C'est le romantisme des hommes. Elle doit être beaucoup plus profonde et solide que l'amour pour qu'on ne la disperse pas sottement en mots, en déclarations, en poèmes, en lettres. Elle doit être beaucoup plus satisfaisante que le sexe puisqu'elle ne se confond pas avec le plaisir et les démangeaisons de peau. En mourant, c'est à ce grand mystère silencieux que je songe et je lui rends hommage. Mes amis, je vous ai vus mal rasés, crottés, de mauvaise humeur, en train de vous gratter, de péter, de roter, et pourtant je n'ai jamais cessé de vous aimer. J'en aurais sans doute voulu à une femme de m'imposer toutes ses misères, je l'aurais quittée, insultée, répudiée. Vous pas. Au contraire. Chaque fois que je vous voyais plus vulnérables, je vous aimais davantage. C'est injuste n'est-ce pas? L'homme et la femme ne s'aimeront jamais aussi authentiquement que deux amis parce que leur relation est pourrie par la séduction. Ils jouent un rôle. Pire, ils cherchent chacun le beau rôle. Théâtre. Comédie. Mensonge. Il n'y a pas de sécurité en l'amour car chacun pense qu'il doit dissimuler, qu'il ne peut être aimé tel qu'il est. Apparence. Fausse façade. Un grand amour, c'est un mensonge réussi et constamment renouvelé. Une amitié, c'est une vérité qui s'impose. L'amitié est nue, l'amour fardé. Mes amis, je vous aime donc tels que vous êtes.

Stay strong, my bravest, dearest friends. We fly as one.

When your world has been at war forever, how do you know peace?

A fire that burns in secret, a lethal conflagration that you can only discover when its too late to save anyone.

This war. There is so much sorrow, so much pain.’ ‘That’s all war.

Fear can keep you obedient, or the need to stay as free as you can.

This level of fuck up is an Eboran speciality.

All of us back together under the same roof - that’s a bloody good end to this mess if you ask me.

Beginnings and endings, flesh and bone, ink and paper. These are what stories are made of.

motioned for her to follow. “Uh-hu and so if Katie Peri’s E.T. suddenly started playing, you wouldn’t have the sudden urge to de-robe?” “Urge, yes,” Jen admitted. “I mean, come on, the song has a sick beat.

As they reached the entrance to the gardens, where more subjects were waiting, a cardinal flew down and landed on the stone steps that she had cleaned so many times in her life. It tweeted a song of happiness, and Snow could only imagine it saying one thing: I love you. For her mother would always be with her. "I feel as if I've been waiting for this moment forever," Snow confessed to Henri. But now there would be no more waiting. Snow White's moment had arrived. And if it wasn't quite "happily ever after," it was pretty close.

Masters: Situation appears dire. Look around. Do you see any adults? Me: My ball size indicates I’m the adultest thing here. Me: I haven’t been rejected this hard since I tried to block the punt in that game against OSU last semester. Masters: My wife says rejection is good for you. Makes you mentally tough. Me: You love saying that phrase “my wife.” Masters: You bet your fat ass I do. Me: You don’t think it’s completely strange that you’re 21 and acting like a Taylor Swift song? Masters: Bro, sorry you feel left out. Stop by later and I’ll give you a hug. Me: Fuck off. Masters: I have MY WIFE to do that for me. Thanks, though. Hug still stands. I’ll even let you smell me. MY WIFE says I smell delicious. Me: I’ve smelled you before, which is why I’m not sure how you convinced Ellie to marry you. She must have defective olfactory senses. Masters: Me and MY defective WIFE will be getting it on tonight. While u have only Rosie Palm. Me: Don’t worry. I get plenty of variety. Left-hand Laura sometimes steps in. Masters: Heard you were out with Josie Weeks. Be careful. She eats little linebackers like you for breakfast. And the fact that I don’t even want to make a sexually charged comeback tells me exactly how I feel about Josie. Hope she doesn’t mind being just study partners.

At least I knew that if someone broke in the alarm was so annoying that he would immediately leave. It's like how I feel when I walk into a store in December and that awful Paul McCartney song 'Wonderful Christmastime' is playing. Not worth it. I'm out of here even though I could have finished all my holiday shopping in one place.

It's weird not being in our subculture of two any more. There was Jen's culture, her little habits and ways of doing things; the collection of stuff she'd already learnt she loved before we met me. Chorizo and Jonathan Franken and long walks and the Eagles (her dad). Seeing the Christmas lights. Taylor Swift, frying pans in the dishwasher, the works absolutely, arsewipe, heaven. Tracy Chapman and prawn jalfrezi and Muriel Spark and HP sauce in bacon sandwiches. And then there was my culture. Steve Martin and Aston Villa and New York and E.T. Chicken bhuna, strange-looking cats and always having squash or cans of soft drinks in the house. The Cure. Pink Floyd. Kanye West, friend eggs, ten hours' sleep, ketchup in bacon sandwiches. Never missing dental check-ups. Sister Sledge (my mum). Watching TV even if the weather is nice. Cadbury's Caramel. John and Paul and George and Ringo. And then we met and fell in love and we introduced each other to all of it, like children showing each other their favourite toys. The instinct never goes - look at my fire engine, look at my vinyl collection. Look at all these things I've chosen to represent who I am. It was fun to find out about each other's self-made cultures and make our own hybrid in the years of eating, watching, reading, listening, sleeping and living together. Our culture was tea drink from very large mugs. And looking forward to the Glastonbury ticket day and the new season of Game of Thrones and taking the piss out of ourselves for being just like everyone else. Our culture was over-tipping in restaurants because we both used to work in the service industry, salty popcorn at the cinema and afternoon naps. Side-by-side morning sex. Home-made Manhattans. Barmade Manhattans (much better). Otis Redding's "Cigarettes and Coffee" (our song). Discovering a new song we both loved and listening to it over and over again until we couldn't listen to it any more. Period dramas on a Sunday night. That one perfect vibrator that finished her off in seconds when we were in a rush. Gravy. David Hockney. Truffle crisps. Can you believe it? I still can't believe it. A smell indisputably reminiscent of bums. On a crisp. And yet we couldn't get enough of them together - stuffing them in our gobs, her hand on my chest, me trying not to get crumbs in her hair as we watched Sense and Sensibility (1995). But I'm not a member of that club anymore. No one is. It's been disbanded, dissolved, the domain is no longer valid. So what do I do with all its stuff? Where so I put it all? Where do I take all my new discoveries now I'm no longer a tribe of two? And if I start a new sub-genre of love with someone else, am I allowed to bring in all the things I loved from the last one? Or would that be weird? Why do I find this so hard?

We are called to this work, and it might not seem like much, but if you play your one note and I play mine and she plays hers, together it will create a beautiful song that sounds like freedom for the captives and good news to the poor. May the broken-hearted be healed and ashes turned to beauty in our generation. God, make us worthy of Your calling.

So maybe we never would have realized we were so compatible if we hadn't been trading song lyrics and movie dialogue. That's textbook trivia right there." Mindy looks unconvinced. "But that's how *everybody* gets together. They find some dumb thing they both know a little about that they can talk about until the waiter brings dinner. According to you, there probably isn't a marriage or a relationship or a friendship anywhere today that wasn't jump-started by trivia." "I think that's exactly right," I agree. "To trivia.

Your character and soul, intelligence and creativity, love and experiences, goodness and talents, your bright and lovely self are entwined with your body, and she has delivered the whole of you to this very day. What a partner! She has been a home for your smartest ideas, your triumphant spirit, your best jokes. You haven’t gotten anywhere you’ve ever gone without her. She has served you well. Your body walked with you all the way through childhood—climbed the trees and rode the bikes and danced the ballet steps and walked you into the first day of high school. How else would you have learned to love the smell of brownies, toasted bagels, onions and garlic sizzling in olive oil? Your body perfectly delivered the sounds of Stevie Wonder, Whitney Houston, and Bon Jovi right into your memories. She gave you your first kiss, which you felt on your lips and in your stomach, a coordinated body venture. She drove you to college and hiked the Grand Canyon. She might have carried your backpack through Europe and fed you croissants. She watched Steel Magnolias and knew right when to let the tears fall. Maybe your body walked you down the aisle and kissed your person and made promises and threw flowers. Your body carried you into your first big interview and nailed it—calmed you down, smiled charmingly, delivered the right words. Sex? That is some of your body’s best work. Your body might have incubated, nourished, and delivered a whole new human life, maybe even two or three. She is how you cherish the smell of those babies, the feel of their cheeks, the sound of them calling your name. How else are you going to taste deep-dish pizza and French onion soup? You have your body to thank for every good thing you have ever experienced. She has been so good to you. And to others. Your body delivered you to people who needed you the exact moment you showed up. She kissed away little tears and patched up skinned knees. She holds hands that need holding and hugs necks that need hugging. Your body nurtures minds and souls with her presence. With her lovely eyes, she looks deliberately at people who so deeply need to be seen. She nourishes folks with food, stirring and dicing and roasting and baking. Your body has sat quietly with sad, sick, and suffering friends. She has also wrapped gifts and sent cards and sung celebration songs to cheer people on. Her face has been a comfort. Her hands will be remembered fondly—how they looked, how they loved. Her specific smell will still be remembered in seventy years. Her voice is the sound of home. You may hate her, but no one else does.

For the better part of two years Niels Lyhne wandered abroad. He was so lonely. He had no family, no friend who was dear to his heart. But there was a greater loneliness about him than that; for a person may well feel anguished and forsaken if on the whole enormous earth there is not one small place he can bless and wish well, someplace he can turn his heart toward when his heart insists on swelling, a place he can long for when longing insists on spreading its wings; but if he has the clear, steady star of a life’s goal shining overhead, then there is no night so lonely that he is entirely alone. But Niels Lyhne had no star. He didn’t know what to do with himself and his abilities. He did have talent, but he just couldn’t use it; he went around feeling like a painter without hands. How he envied the others, great and small, who, no matter where they reached in life, always found something to hold on to! Because he could not find anything to hold on to. It seemed to him that all he could do was sing the old romantic songs over again, and everything that he had accomplished had been nothing more than this. It was as if his talent were something remote in him, a quiet Pompeii, or like a harp he could take out of a corner. It was not omnipresent, it did not run down the street with him, it did not reside in his eyes, it did not tingle in his fingertips, not at all; his talent did not have a hold on him. At times it seemed to him that he had been born half a century too late, at other times that he had arrived much too early. The talent within him was rooted in something from the past which was the only thing that could give it life. It could not draw nourishment from his opinions, his convictions, his sympathies, it could not assimilate them and give them form; they floated away from each other, these two parts, like water and oil, they could be shaken together but could not be mixed, never become one.

All the stuff we’re so worried about creating and fixated on becoming is already right here, right now. The money you want already exists; the person you want to meet is already alive; the experience you want to have is available, now; the idea for that brilliant song you want to write is here, now, waiting for you to download the information. The knowledge and insight and joy and connection and love are all wagging their hands in your face, trying to get your attention. The life you want is right here, right now. What

I repeated the facts over and over to an empty hallway of sleeping hotel guests, singing them like they were the lyrics of a new Justin Bieber song. Jessica, thirty-two, studied business, likes jazz. (Jen certainly does not.) Jessica is in a long-term, long-distance relationship with a guy she met at Rutgers. Rose introduced them, and now they’re about to get engaged. (Jen is certainly not even close to getting engaged.)

Shaw Jennings,” he said solemnly, “I just wrote over a dozen fucking songs about you. You can’t break my heart until at least the second album.

even missed Lollapalooza for this,” Natalie says. “Dua Lipa was there. And those old guys who had their metal song on the last season of Stranger Things. Plus, the weather was perfect. No rain, low humidity, not too hot.

I turned forty this year. Forty! Which is so weird because I’ve always been young. I’ve been young my whole life, as a matter of fact. No matter how I dissect this, I’ve aged out of the “young” category and graduated to the “middle” group. My brain feels confused about this because I am so juvenile. I make up my own words to hip-hop songs and quote Paul Rudd as a parenting strategy. Surely I am a preteen.

La métaphore, tout d'abord, ne relie pas seulement le corps humain à l'univers dans son ensemble, mais surtout à un pays, voire à un paysage : « le corps humain est l'image d'un pays (yi-jen tche chen, yi kouo tche siang) », disent les Taoïstes du Moyen Age. Et, depuis l'époque Song, le corps humain a été représenté sous les apparences d'un paysage, avec des montagnes et des lacs, des forêts et des habitats. Paysage ou pays qui constitue aussi un royaume, avec son administration : le cœur est le prince, les autres viscères ses ministres, le sang son peuple, etc. Recherches sur le corps taoïste 1976

We sat on the grass at the edge of the lake, alone together. Her knee touched mine, and it was all I could think about, but neither of us moved to put inches between us. And there it was, finally, the spark I'd been waiting for all week, fear, awe, beauty, all at once. There was more holiness in the cricket cry, in the starlight, in the silver, moon-painted waters than I had felt all week. Loons sang to us, beautiful, bittersweet songs, and wandering fireflies lit the dark with golden sparks. No one from camp could see us. No one from church could touch us. And I thought, No other heaven could ever compare to this one. It doesn't want us to grovel. It doesn't need us to change.

All people need, in my experience, is a little push in the right direction. Or a giant kick up the arse. I am always happy to provide either.

Because whoever it is, I’m sure I’ve already forgotten them. I can barely keep track of your brief human lives, you know here one moment gone the next. I should keep a list, so I can tick the names off as they depart.

I can suffer all that, I can suffer it and come through stronger, a weapon forged for your hand, but I cannot abide inefficiency.

I’d burn the bloody tree down myself if u thought it would bring you back’ he said quietly. ‘Everything is so hopeless anyway, why shouldn’t we be happy for a bit? We could have don’t that, couldn’t we? I think so it would have been messy but… Instead my mind gives me this’ He gestured around at the dream desert, the dream sky. ‘A fucking dream of you. As if that would be enough.

This is dangerous. But our lives are dangerous. They always have been. I tell you it is possible we could do this, and destroy the worm people.

That particular monster can fuck right off.

You

For five years, NPGMC (named after Prince’s backing band, the New Power Generation) offered a monthly or annual membership that not only let fans get new releases, but also provided access to prime concert seats and passes for events like sound checks and after parties. We had Sam Jennings, his digital producer, on our Subscribed podcast, and he detailed just how committed Prince was to creating a sense of value around his service: “They were getting about three or four new songs every month, live versions, remixes, all kinds of things. Plus an audio show. We called it an audio show but it was basically a podcast! It was essentially an hour-long radio program that Prince put together in his studio that we provided as a download. The idea was to create an ongoing experience for them, so that they want to be a part of it. They get the music, they get the downloads, but they’re also investing in a larger experience, which is the community of subscribers themselves. The question was how do we make them feel more like members, and less like customers?

Have you ever heard somebody sing some lyrics that you've never sung before, and you realize you've never sung the right words in that song? You hear them and all of a sudden you say to yourself, 'Life in the Fast Lane?' That's what they're saying right there? You think, 'why have I been singing 'wipe in the vaseline?' how many people have heard me sing 'wipe in the vaseline?' I am an idiot.” ― Ellen DeGeneres, My Point... And I Do Have One

Lily was one of the best of us. At the age of eleven, her hair turned white overnight and she started humming funeral songs.

All the stuff we’re so worried about creating and fixated on becoming is already right here, right now. The money you want already exists; the person you want to meet is already alive; the experience you want to have is available, now; the idea for that brilliant song you want to write is here, now, waiting for you to download the information. The knowledge and insight and joy and connection and love are all wagging their hands in your face, trying to get your attention.

Whatever the weather may be, says he, Whatever the weather may be, It's the songs we sing and the smiles we wear, That's a-making the sunshine everywhere.

Some people learn a language out of gut-wrenching determination born of necessity. Most, however, who enter a lifetime of fluency, do so because at some point in time they learn to love it. They fall in love with the sounds. The language sounds beautiful to them. And if that love is complete, they fall in love with its original signifiers. They come to love the people—the food, the faces, the plans, the practices, the songs, the poetry, the happiness, the sadness, the ambiguity, the truth—and they love the place, that is, the circled earth those people call their land, their landscapes, their home. Speak a language, speak a people. God speaks people, fluently

When she wanted to think of nothing else, sh would listen to him talk. The Irish accent was more prominent in his father, but the tiny song in his voice often calmed her like the rise and fall of a ship on low waves.

this: You tell me then that I must perish like the flowers that I cherish. Nothing remaining of my name, nothing remembered of my fame? But the gardens I planted still are young— the songs I sang will still be sung!

You know, love songs say crap like “love will set you free,” but lately I’ve been thinking that love is more like a cage. The most beautiful cage, with gold filigree and diamonds on the bars. But a cage nonetheless.

It ain't my idea to leave before dawn. My ole lady decided to visit Nana, that's why the house stinks of hairspray. You know why she's leaving early: so nobody sees her scurry through town on foot. All she wants is for them to see her arrived, all hunky-dory. Not scurrying. It's a learning I made since the car went. 'Well I just can't believe there isn't a pair of Tumbledowns around town, I mean, I'll have to try down by Nana's.' She gives off breathy noises, and flicks her fingertips through my hair. Then she takes a step back and frowns. It means goodbye. 'Promise me you won't miss your therapy.' An electric purple sky spills stars behind the pumpjack, calling home the last moths for the night. It reminds me of the morning when ole Mrs Lechuga was out here, all devastated. I try not to think about it. Instead I look ahead to today. Going to Keeter's is a smart idea; if anybody sees me out there, they'll say, 'We saw Vernon out by Keeter's,' and nobody will know if they mean the auto shop, or the piece of land. See? Vernon Gray-matter Little. In return, I've asked Fate to help me solve the cash thing. It's become clear that cash is the only way to deal with problems in life. I even scraped up a few things to pawn in town, if it comes to that. I know it'll come to that, so I have them with me in my pack – my clarinet, my skateboard, and fourteen music discs. They're in the pack with my lunchbox, which contains my sandwich, the two joints, and a piece of paper with some internet addresses on it. As for the joints and the piece of paper, I heard the voice of Jesus last night. He advised me to get wasted, fast. If at first you don't succeed, he said, get wasted off your fucken ass. My plan is to sit out at Keeter's and get some new ideas, ideas borne out of the bravery of wastedness. I ride down empty roads of frosted silver, trees overhead swish cool hints of warm panties in bedclothes. Liberty Drive is naked, save for droppings of hay, and Bar-B-Chew Barn wrappers. In this light you can't see the stains on the sidewalk by the school. As the gym building passes by, all hulky and black, I look the other way, and think of other things. Music's a crazy thing, when you think about it. Interesting how I decided which discs not to pawn. I could've kept some party music, but that would've just tried to boost me up, all this thin kind of 'Tss-tss-tss,' music. You get all boosted up, convinced you're going to win in life, then the song's over and you discover you fucken lost. That's why you end up playing those songs over and over, in case you didn't know. Cream pie, boy. I could've kept back some heavy metal too, but that's likely to drive me to fucken suicide. What I need is some Eminem, some angry poetry, but you can't buy that stuff in Martirio. Like it was an animal sex doll or something, you can't buy angry poetry. When you say gangsta around here, they still think of Bonnie & fucken Clyde. Nah, guess what: I ended up keeping my ole Country albums. Waylon Jennings, Willie Nelson, Johnny Paycheck – even my daddy's ole Hank Williams compilation. I kept them because those boys have seen some shit – hell, all they sing about is the shit they've seen; you just know they woke up plenty of times on a wooden floor somewhere, with ninety flavors of trouble riding on their ass. The slide-guitar understands your trouble. Then all you need is the beer.

Et cependant, je me découvris plein de songes. Ils me vinrent sans bruit, comme des eaux de source, et je ne compris pas, tout d'abord, la douceur qui m'envahissait. Il n'y eut point de voix, ni d'images, mais le sentiment d'une présence, d'une amitié très proche et déjà à demi devinée. Puis, je compris et m'abandonnai, les yeux fermés, aux enchantements de ma mémoire. Il était, quelque part, un parc chargé de sapins noirs et de tilleuls, et une vieille maison que j'aimais. Peu importait qu'elle fût éloignée ou proche, qu'elle ne pût ni me réchauffer dans ma chair ni m'abriter, réduite ici au rôle de songe il suffisait qu'elle existât pour remplir ma nuit de sa présence. Je n'étais plus ce corps échoué sur une grève, je m'orientais, j'étais l'enfant de cette maison, plein du souvenir de ses odeurs, plein de la fraîcheur de ses vestibules, plein des voix qui l'avaient animée. Et jusqu'au chant des grenouilles dans les mares qui venait ici me rejoindre. [...] Non, je ne logeais plus entre le sable et les étoiles. Je ne recevais plus du décor qu'un message froid. Et ce goût même d'éternité que j'avais cru tenir de lui, j'en découvrais maintenant l'origine. Je revoyais les grandes armoires solennelles de la maison. Elles s'entrouvraient sur des piles de draps blancs comme neige. Elles s'entrouvraient sur des provisions glacées de neige. La vieille gouvernante trottait comme un rat de l'une à l'autre, toujours vérifiant, dépliant, repliant, recomptant le linge blanchi, s'écriant : « Ah ! mon Dieu, quel malheur » à chaque signe d'une usure qui menaçait l'éternité de la maison, aussitôt courant se brûler les yeux sous quelque lampe, à réparer la trame de ces nappes d'autel, à ravauder ces voiles de trois-mâts, à servir je ne sais quoi de plus grand qu'elle, un Dieu ou un navire. Ah ! je te dois bien une page. Quand je rentrais de mes premiers voyages, mademoiselle, je te retrouvais l'aiguille à la main, noyée jusqu'aux genoux dans tes surplis blancs, et chaque année un peu plus ridée, un peu plus blanchie, préparant toujours de tes mains ces draps sans plis pour nos sommeils, ces nappes sans coutures pour nos dîners, ces fêtes de cristaux et de lumière. Je te visitais dans ta lingerie, je m'asseyais en face de toi, je te racontais mes périls de mort pour t'émouvoir, pour t'ouvrir les yeux sur le monde, pour te corrompre. Je n'avais guère changé, disais-tu. Enfant, je trouais déjà mes chemises. - Ah ! quel malheur ! - et je m'écorchais aux genoux ; puis je revenais à la maison pour me faire panser, comme ce soir. Mais non, mais non, mademoiselle ! ce n'était plus du fond du parc que je rentrais, mais du bout du monde, et je ramenais avec moi l'odeur âcre des solitudes, le tourbillon des vents de sable, les lunes éclatantes des tropiques ! Bien sûr, me disais-tu, les garçons courent, se rompent les os, et se croient très forts. Mais non, mais non, mademoiselle, j'ai vu plus loin que ce parc ! Si tu savais comme ces ombrages sont peu de chose ! Qu'ils semblent bien perdus parmi les sables, les granits, les forêts vierges, les marais de la terre. Sais-tu seulement qu'il est des territoires où les hommes, s'ils vous rencontrent, épaulent aussitôt leur carabine ? Sais-tu même qu'il est des déserts où l'on dort, dans la nuit glacée, sans toit, mademoiselle, sans lit, sans draps. « Ah ! barbare », disais-tu. Je n'entamais pas mieux sa foi que je n'eusse entamé la foi d'une servante d'église. Et je plaignais son humble destinée qui la faisait aveugle et sourde. [...] Mes songes sont plus réels que ces dunes, que cette lune, que ces présences. Ah ! le merveilleux d'une maison n'est point qu'elle vous abrite ou vous réchauffe, ni qu'on en possède les murs. Mais bien qu'elle ait lentement déposé en nous ces provisions de douceur. Qu'elle forme, dans le fond du cœur, ce massif obscur dont naissent, comme des eaux de source, les songes. Mon Sahara, mon Sahara, te voilà tout entier enchanté par une fileuse de laine !

Et cependant, je me découvris plein de songes. Ils me vinrent sans bruit, comme des eaux de source, et je ne compris pas, tout d'abord, la douceur qui m'envahissait. Il n'y eut point de voix, ni d'images, mais le sentiment d'une présence, d'une amitié très proche et déjà à demi devinée. Puis, je compris et m'abandonnai, les yeux fermés, aux enchantements de ma mémoire. Il était, quelque part, un parc chargé de sapins noirs et de tilleuls, et une vieille maison que j'aimais. Peu importait qu'elle fût éloignée ou proche, qu'elle ne pût ni me réchauffer dans ma chair ni m'abriter, réduite ici au rôle de songe il suffisait qu'elle existât pour remplir ma nuit de sa présence. Je n'étais plus ce corps échoué sur une grève, je m'orientais, j'étais l'enfant de cette maison, plein du souvenir de ses odeurs, plein de la fraîcheur de ses vestibules, plein des voix qui l'avaient animée. [...] Non, je ne logeais plus entre le sable et les étoiles. Je ne recevais plus du décor qu'un message froid. Et ce goût même d'éternité que j'avais cru tenir de lui, j'en découvrais maintenant l'origine. Je revoyais les grandes armoires solennelles de la maison. Elles s'entrouvraient sur des piles de draps blancs comme neige. Elles s'entrouvraient sur des provisions glacées de neige. La vieille gouvernante trottait comme un rat de l'une à l'autre, toujours vérifiant, dépliant, repliant, recomptant le linge blanchi, s'écriant : « Ah ! mon Dieu, quel malheur » à chaque signe d'une usure qui menaçait l'éternité de la maison, aussitôt courant se brûler les yeux sous quelque lampe, à réparer la trame de ces nappes d'autel, à ravauder ces voiles de trois-mâts, à servir je ne sais quoi de plus grand qu'elle, un Dieu ou un navire. Ah ! je te dois bien une page. Quand je rentrais de mes premiers voyages, mademoiselle, je te retrouvais l'aiguille à la main, noyée jusqu'aux genoux dans tes surplis blancs, et chaque année un peu plus ridée, un peu plus blanchie, préparant toujours de tes mains ces draps sans plis pour nos sommeils, ces nappes sans coutures pour nos dîners, ces fêtes de cristaux et de lumière. Je te visitais dans ta lingerie, je m'asseyais en face de toi, je te racontais mes périls de mort pour t'émouvoir, pour t'ouvrir les yeux sur le monde, pour te corrompre. Je n'avais guère changé, disais-tu. Enfant, je trouais déjà mes chemises. - Ah ! quel malheur ! - et je m'écorchais aux genoux ; puis je revenais à la maison pour me faire panser, comme ce soir. Mais non, mais non, mademoiselle ! ce n'était plus du fond du parc que je rentrais, mais du bout du monde, et je ramenais avec moi l'odeur âcre des solitudes, le tourbillon des vents de sable, les lunes éclatantes des tropiques ! Bien sûr, me disais-tu, les garçons courent, se rompent les os, et se croient très forts. Mais non, mais non, mademoiselle, j'ai vu plus loin que ce parc ! Si tu savais comme ces ombrages sont peu de chose ! Qu'ils semblent bien perdus parmi les sables, les granits, les forêts vierges, les marais de la terre. Sais-tu seulement qu'il est des territoires où les hommes, s'ils vous rencontrent, épaulent aussitôt leur carabine ? Sais-tu même qu'il est des déserts où l'on dort, dans la nuit glacée, sans toit, mademoiselle, sans lit, sans draps. « Ah ! barbare », disais-tu. Je n'entamais pas mieux sa foi que je n'eusse entamé la foi d'une servante d'église. Et je plaignais son humble destinée qui la faisait aveugle et sourde. [...] Mes songes sont plus réels que ces dunes, que cette lune, que ces présences. Ah ! le merveilleux d'une maison n'est point qu'elle vous abrite ou vous réchauffe, ni qu'on en possède les murs. Mais bien qu'elle ait lentement déposé en nous ces provisions de douceur. Qu'elle forme, dans le fond du cœur, ce massif obscur dont naissent, comme des eaux de source, les songes. Mon Sahara, mon Sahara, te voilà tout entier enchanté par une fileuse de laine ! p64-66