Jaffa Cake Quotes

Who's got my Jaffa Cakes? You know I can't function without Jaffa Cakes.

It’s one of the paradoxes of being a writer that, physically, there’s not a huge difference between the debut novelist and the international best-seller: they’re each stuck in a room with a laptop, too many Jaffa Cakes and nobody to talk to. I once worked

He managed not to disturb too much of the flower bed as he tamped soil over the Jaffa Cake box that had taken on the role of hamster coffin so well.

a packet of Jaffa Cakes is a binary object, by which I mean it has only two states: unopened or empty. There have been rumoured sightings of half packets, but the evidence is debatable.

The period is undoubtedly a feminist issue. The Tampon Tax only reinforces this: given that Jaffa Cakes, bingo games and vodka jellies are deemed essential, tax-free items and menstrual products are not, women are being taxed for simply being women.

SOOOOOOOO… THESE ARE DISAPPOINTING.” Keefe took a second bite from a round Digestive biscuit and crinkled his nose. “Are they supposed to suck up all the spit in your mouth and turn it into a paste? Is that, like, something humans find delicious?” “Maybe you’re supposed to dunk them in milk?” Sophie suggested, trying not to spray crumbs as she struggled to swallow the bite she’d taken. They really did win the prize for Driest. Cookies. Ever. “Actually, I think you’re supposed to eat them with tea.” “You think?” Keefe asked, shaking his head and stuffing the rest of the Digestive into his mouth. “You’re failing me with your human knowledge, Foster.” “For the thousandth time, I grew up in the U.S., not the U.K.!” she reminded him. “We had Chips Ahoy! and Oreos and E.L. Fudges!” “Hm. Those do sound more fun than a Digestive,” Keefe conceded. “I’m sure you’d especially enjoy the E.L. Fudges,” Sophie told him. “They’re shaped like tiny elves.” Keefe dropped the package of Jaffa Cakes he’d been in the process of opening and scanned the beach in front of them. “Okay, where’s the nearest cliff? You need to teleport me somewhere to get some of those immediately.

When Sam and I were living in Australia, one winter weekend we rented a cottage in the countryside. We toured local wineries by day and at sunset we wrapped ourselves up in blankets on the porch overlooking the valley below, tucking into our bounty of wine and local cheese. I can’t remember who initiated it (OK, fine, probably me), but we decided that during this magic hour while day turned to night we could ask each other anything. This moment in our relationship changed everything. I got to ask all my questions and so did Sam. We also had to answer them. I think for both of us it’s the night we tipped over from infatuation to falling in love. Even now, the phrase ‘wine and cheese hour’ is shorthand for this safe space, when we need to sit down and reconnect. This is so bougie and painful to admit, especially because I don’t even like wine and this is now far more likely to be ‘coffee and Jaffa cake hour’. (Vodka and Pringles works, too.)

I checked in with Keefe this morning,” he said, helping her to her feet, “to find out when he wanted to go to the Forbidden Cities so I could set up the cameras to watch for that guy he remembered. But Ro started shouting in the background about chaining him to a porch swing. So he said I needed to talk to you, and then he launched into this long speech about how we both needed to bring him back a bunch of biscuits to apologize for ditching him—at least that’s what I think he said. There was a lot of talk about Jammie Dodgers and Jaffa Cakes and Digestives—no idea what those are. But he said you’d know—or that you should, and if you didn’t, I needed to tell you to be ashamed of yourself.” “Uh, except I grew up in America, not England,” Sophie argued, even though she actually had heard of a few of those cookies—biscuits—whatever she was supposed to call them. But she doubted Dex cared about human regional snack variations. So she focused on the actual important subject.

The clinching evidence was when the manufacturers showed that a Jaffa Cake when left out in the air will go hard. I find this to be a remarkable piece of research, as whenever I find myself near a Jaffa Cake that has been left out, it disappears.