“
Long before I ever saw him coming into Connie Sue’s salon, a friend of mine in high school was always talking about a guy named Jeptha. She was very sweet. She went to the Pentecostal church and dressed very conservatively--hair down to her booty, skirts, little makeup. We had history class together, and she used to let me put mascara on her.
“He’s a dream,” she used to say. I could tell she had a crush on this guy, and I’d just roll my eyes and shake my head.
I doubt it, I’d say to myself, after the thousandth time she’d talked about Jeptha and called him dreamy again.
I was familiar with the name but not the actual guy, and it wasn’t until the glide-by at Connie Sue’s that I came face-to-face with the dream. Whoops! I mean, with Jeptha. I didn’t think a whole lot more about him until I saw him again a couple of weeks later at a music club called Edge of Madness. There was no drinking, just music, and lots of kids hanging out.
The Jeptha came up to me during a break in the music and introduced himself.
“Hi. I’m Jeptha Robertson. Are you Jessica?”
Connie Sue had told him my name and a little bit about me, but I guess he wanted to make sure.
“Hi,” I said, and smiled back.
“My dad is the Duck Commander,” he offered.
Who? I didn’t answer because I didn’t know what to say. I had no idea who or what the Duck Commander was.
“You don’t know who the Duck Commander is?”
I shook my head no. I’m sure I looked as confused as I felt. Obviously, I am missing something, and I should know who the Duck Commander is.
“You don’t know who Phil Robertson is?”
No, again.
We chatted a little, and I could see he was trying to connect with me. Then he pulled out his best line: “Do you like my plaid pants?”
I looked at the familiar logo on his shirt and pants and thought to myself, Wow, you must really like Abercrombie and Fitch.
Surprised, I looked down and beheld his brown, green, and white plaid pants. You couldn’t miss them. They definitely stood out in the crowd.
“Yeah,” I said, my voice trailing off. I wasn’t quite sure what else to say.
Now at least I know who the dream is, I thought. And he is pretty cute.
”
”
Jessica Robertson (The Good, the Bad, and the Grace of God: What Honesty and Pain Taught Us About Faith, Family, and Forgiveness)