Insult Comeback Quotes

Hey, look—your girlfriend is saying something." Artemis had a vast mental reserve of scathing comebacks at his disposal, but none of them covered girlfriend insults. He wasn't even sure if it was an insult. And if it was, who was being insulted? Him or the girl?

Right before the game, she strolled up to me. "Hey, Seaweed Brain." "Will you stop calling me that?" She knows I hate that name, mostly because I never have a good comeback. She's the daughter of Athena, which doesn't give me a lot of ammunition. I mean, "Owl-head" and "Wise Girl" are kind of lame insults.

Use a condom. The world doesn't need another you.

Better to have been a dickhead and seen it, than be a cunt all your life and not know it.

So plunge that fact into your conscience and allow it to rotate for a while. Until it hurts.

Lepida, has anyone ever told you that you're a cruel spiteful selfish slut?...You're vicious. You're unprincipled. You mistreat your slaves and abuse your daughter. And furthermore you're the worst, most neglectful, most criminal wife in Rome. I think we can go now.

Ball?” said one of the Pistons with interest. “We like balls.” Dimity gave them her best, most haughty look. “Yes, but are you certain they like you?

Dune: ...That's disgraceful! Sette: So's your face!

Of course I’d like to help you out. Which way did you come in?

I’d like to give you a going-away present . . . but you have to do your part.

He walked away through the crowd before i could decide if i'd been insulted or not. Just as well. For the life of me, i couldn't think of a good comeback line.

◆ Do you want people to accept you as you are ... or do you want them to like you?

I’d like to see things from your point of view, but I can’t seem to get my head that far up my ass. ◆

We do not have to visit a madhouse to find disordered minds; our planet is the mental institution of the universe.

What is a whore?" Unsurprisingly, that hadn't been one of the words we had shared over the last span of days. For half a moment I considered lying, but there was no way I could manage it. "He says your mother is a person men pay money to have sex with." Tempi turned back to the mercenary and nodded graciously. "You are very kind. I thank you.

Don’t piss me off today, I’m running out of places to hide bodies.

The leadoff batter for the Minnesota Twins hit a foul ball into the stands and struck his mother. He will spend the rest of the season in his room.

Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

A woman is driving along when the car in front of her hits the brakes suddenly, and she plows into it. An extremely short man gets out, looks at the damage, and says, “I’m not happy ...” “Well, which one are you?

People in France have a phrase: "Spirit of the Stairway." In French, Esprit d'Escalier. It means that moment when you find the answer but it's too late. Say you're at a party and someone insults you. You have to say something. So, under pressure, with everybody watching, you say something lame. But the moment you leave the party...

Annabeth is not somebody you want as an enemy. Right before the game, she strolled up to me. “Hey, Seaweed Brain.” “Will you stop calling me that?” She knows I hate that name, mostly because I never have a good comeback. She’s the daughter of Athena, which doesn’t give me a lot of ammunition. I mean, “Owl-head” and “Wise Girl” are kind of lame insults.

Hoh, Boy!" Freddy snorted, slapping his palm to his forehead. "I hope you never donate your brain to science. It would set civilization back fifty years.

This world has three kinds of people. The ones who can count, and the ones who can’t.

To a political consultant: “Here, I’ll talk to your butt ... I’m sorry, I forgot which side the poop comes out of.

Tiger Woods dropped out of the TPC because of a “bulge” in his neck. Wasn’t a bulge what got him in trouble in the first place?

As I watched him, I wondered how many times a heart can heal. Are we allotted a specific number of comebacks from heartbreak? Or is that what really kills us, in the end—not strokes or cancer or pneumonia—but instead just one too many blows to the heart? Doctors talk of 'cardiac insults'—such a perfect tun of phrase—but they know nothing of the heart, not truly.

She knows I hate that name, mostly because I never have a good comeback. She’s the daughter of Athena, which doesn’t give me a lot of ammunition. I mean, “Owl-head” and “Wise Girl” are kind of lame insults. “You know you love it.” She bumped me with her shoulder, which I guess was supposed to be friendly, but she was wearing full Greek armor, so it kind of hurt. Her gray eyes sparkled under her helmet. Her blond ponytail curled around one shoulder. It was hard for anyone to look cute in combat armor, but Annabeth pulled it off.

[God] said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (2 Corinthians 11:30, 12:9–10)

our government is still breaking our treaty obligations. If you coolly strip away the endless administrative rhetoric about budgets and governance, the endless studies and the endemic lack of broad policies coming from the Department of Indian Affairs, you begin to realize that we are still caught up in the racist assimilation policies of a century ago. Let me take a broader example. We all know that the treaties involved a massive loss of land for First Nations. What most of us pretend we don’t know is that this remarkable generosity was tied to permanent obligations taken on by colonial officials, then by the Government of Canada; that is, by the Crown; that is, by you and me. So we got the use of land – and therefore the possibility of creating Canada – in return for a relationship in which we have permanent obligations. We have kept the land. We have repeatedly used ruses to get more of their land. And we have not fulfilled our side of the agreement. We pretend that we do not have partnership obligations. It’s pretty straightforward. We criticize. We insult. We complain. We weasel. Surely, we say, these handouts have gone on long enough. But the most important handout was to us. Bob Rae put it this way at the Athabasca Chipewyan First Nation Treaty Conference in June 2014: “It’s ridiculous to think people would say: ‘I have all this land, millions and millions and millions of acres of land, I’m giving it to you for a piece of land that is five miles by five miles and a few dollars a year.’ To put it in terms of a real estate transaction, it’s preposterous. It doesn’t make any sense.” So the generosity was from First Nations to newcomers. And we are keeping that handout – the land – offered in good faith by friends and allies.

Just remember, there are a lot of people in this world who are extremely self-centered and only care about getting what they want. And if you can help them achieve that, then you will be in their lives. If not, you won't be. Whether they are looking for someone to run errands for them, entertain them, worship the ground they walk on…whatever. Don't be that person. Try to surround yourself with only people who care about you.

Imitation is the best form of flattery.

There are actually some exercises that can help you lose face fat. Turn your head to your left, then turn your head to your right. Do this a few times. Now do that everytime someone offers you fatty food.

You smell like trash.' 'Thanks. It's a new cologne I'm trying out.

You are so poor… you can’t even pay attention!

You are so hairy… you shave with a weedeater!

Daniel was aware that everyone hears voices in their heads. We all carry on imaginary conversations, reframing what happened and thinking of clever comebacks after the fact. And it’s not just that: Our consciences dog us and afflict us and ghost-words from long dead insults and cheap shots haunt us. Sometimes for a lifetime.

SOMETIMES I SYMPATHIZE WITH SIRIUS' MOTHER. I'D WANT TO BLAST YOU OFF MY FAMILY TREE TOO.

Beta: what if we use 100% of our brain. Sigma: create a netflix account on the 29th January so you can get the free month trial which ends on 29 feb but the thing is 29 February only comes once in 4 years. So boom ,you have 4 years netflix subscription. .

You're so fat you can’t even do the ABC’s, just the KFC’s.

Money talks. For instance, mine keeps saying “good bye.

the art of looking for trouble, finding it whether it exists or not, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedy.

I think that all good, right thinking people in this country are sick and tired of being told that all good, right thinking people in this country are fed up with being told that all good, right thinking people in this country are fed up with being sick and tired. I’m certainly not, and I’m sick and tired of being told that I am. —MONTY PYTHON

Q. Are we EVER going to have a federal tax system that regular people can understand? A. Our top political leaders have all voiced strong support for this idea. Q. So you’re saying it will never happen? A. Pretty much.

We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office. —AESOP

The best comeback insult is the one you never gave.

I couldn’t hold it in on the elevator and pooped myself. Taking this shit to a whole new level.

I’m really glad you helped me figure out the definition for the word “many.” It meant a lot.

While I was driving it inside her last night, my queen gasped that she loved my cock right before I planted my seed in her womb. Seed that might make a warrior. Seed that's already more warrior than you.

The phrases “I’m sorry” and “I apologize” are exactly the same. Unless you’re saying it at a funeral.