Influence Is Your Superpower Quotes

Astrology is superstition. A remnant of the ignorant dark ages, when people knew nothing about how the world works. They believed the earth is flat and the center of the universe. Astrology might have made sense a long time ago, when people didn't know any better. Back then people believed that the stars were gods, with names like Zeus or Mars, the God of war, who had nothing better to do than to watch us down here on earth, and fuck with us. And gods have superpowers. So it would make sense for gods to be able to influence our lives or our decisions. Back then it sounded like there was an internal logic to it all. But nowadays we know better. Now we know that the earth is not flat and not the center of the universe. And now we know that the stars are not gods with superpowers, but simply suns and planets, millions of miles away. Big balls of gas and rock, flying through space, minding their own business. Mars is not the God of War. Mars is just a big red rock. There is simply no mechanism by which a big rock, flying through space millions of miles away, is gonna affect whether you're gonna get a raise tomorrow or not. Think about how self-centered and narcissistic that idea actually is. Astrology is the idea that this endlessly big universe and all the trillions of planets in it, are only here to affect whether you are gonna have a good day tomorrow. Because all these big rocks flying through space millions of miles away have nothing better to do than worry about you. Because you're so special, and everything is about you. The idea behind astrology is so stupid, it's actually kinda funny.

The Gator doesn’t take requests. You can’t reason yourself into falling in love, despising ice cream, or enjoying parsnips (which are clearly odious). It’s possible to override gut reactions, but it’s not easy. When disgust researcher Paul Rozin asked adults to eat a piece of chocolate shaped like dog doo, 40 percent couldn’t do it. (Toddlers, however, had no Gator conflict and happily ate poo-shaped food.)

When you’re in the ugly throes of grief, most people are repulsed by you. Nobody knows what to say or how to behave in your presence. Everybody’s scared of what you represent, and in a way, I suppose, you learn to want them to be. The distance that people keep is a sign of respect: Your grief warrants a wide berth. You come to crave the ability to influence the movements of others, your sorrow a superpower, your sadness your most extraordinary trait. You come to crave the space.

The best salespeople are great relationship builders whose clients want to do business with them again and again. If you say no, they’ll ask your permission to check back with you in the future. If you say no to that, they won’t bother you again. They’re people who treat you with respect, people you’re happy to interact with even if it doesn’t make sense to say yes this time. The reason they don’t come to mind when you think of the archetypical salesperson is that interacting with a master salesperson doesn’t feel transactional. It just feels like a friendly conversation. And it is.

Along with saying no, the easiest thing you can do to become more influential is just ask. Ask more often, ask more directly, and ask for more. People who ask for what they want get better grades, more raises and promotions, and bigger job opportunities and even more orgasm. This might seem obvious but apparently it isn't. Most people do not realize how often they are not asking until they start asking more often. Whenever our MBA course ends and students share the biggest thing they have learned - after we have done so much together - the most common answer is “just ask”. The full realization comes from practice. What if you’re not sure how to ask? Just ask the other person. Seriously. One of the simplest and most surprising influence hacks is that if you ask people how to influence them, they will often tell you. Most of us are reluctant to ask because we fundamentally misunderstand the psychology of asking and we underestimate our likelihood of success. In one series of experiments, employees were more likely to turn in mediocre work than to ask for deadline extension, fearing their supervisor, would think them incompetent if they asked for extra time. But they had it backward: Managers saw extension requests as a good sign of capability and motivation. Pg 64, 65

Skills Unlocked: How to Build Heroic Character Strengths If you want to make a change for the better or achieve a tough goal, don’t worry about motivation. Instead, focus on increasing your self-efficacy: confidence in your ability to solve your own problems and achieve your goals. The fastest and most reliable way to increase your self-efficacy is to learn how to play a new game. Any kind of game will do, because all games require you to learn new skills and tackle tough goals. The level of dopamine in your brain influences your ability to build self-efficacy. The more you have, the more determined you feel, and the less likely you are to give up. You’ll learn faster, too—because high dopamine levels improve your attention and help you process feedback more effectively. Keep in mind that video games have been shown to boost dopamine levels as much as intravenous amphetamines. Whenever you want to boost your dopamine levels, play a game—or make a prediction. Predictions prime your brain to pay closer attention and to anticipate a reward. (Playing “worst-case scenario bingo” is an excellent way to combine these two techniques!) You can also build self-efficacy vicariously by watching an avatar that looks like you accomplish feats in a virtual world. Whenever possible, customize video game avatars to look like you. Every time your avatar does something awesome, you’ll get a vicarious boost to your willpower and determination. Remember, self-efficacy doesn’t just help you. It can inspire you to help others. The more powerful you feel, the more likely you are to rise to the heroic occasion. So the next time you feel superpowerful, take a moment to ask yourself how you can use your powers for good.

Your self-care is your superpower; cultivate the heck out of it—love yourself up.

No matter how often I see it happens, I'm still surprised by the lengths to which strangers will go to be helpful just to because they are asked Pg 59

As you release your fear of hearing no, you gain the freedom to ask for things. Pg 58

Framing is magical stuff. It determines people’s experiences and even shapes how they think. An effective frame can be so sticky that it becomes hard to see things from a different perspective. Once that frame helped transition a small tech start up into the worlds most valuable company. A frame doesn’t say “Pay attention to this and ignore everything else!” But it creates this effect by putting an idea at the center of our attention and giving as a reason to force on it

Framing is how spellcasting works in the real world. Just by describing something or giving it a name, you called it into being. Well chosen frame can determine what’s relevant, what’s important, or what’s good. When you frame someone’s experience in a compelling way, you shape their expectations as well as their interpretation of events.

The Bedrock principle of influencing behavior is this: People tend to take the path of least resistance. Ease is the single best predictor of behavior, intentions, price, quality, or satisfaction. There's a little-known marketing metric for measuring ease called the Customer Effort Score that comes down to a simple question: how easy was it? How customers answer that one question explains one-third of their willingness to buy again, to increase their business with the company, or to rave about it to other people. While one-third may not sound like much, it's actually huge; the Customer Effort Score is 12% more predictive of customer loyalty than customer satisfaction is. Ease makes people happy and effort can really piss people off. Pg. 41

When Jia Jiang graduated with an MBA from Duke, he wanted to be an entrepreneur. Like so many of us, however, his fear of hearing no was holding him back. To face this fear head-on, he started a video blog called 100 Days of Rejection Therapy. His endearing, perplexing, and absurd videos document what happened as he approached complete strangers, day after day, with off-the-wall requests: to speak over Costco’s intercom, to become a live mannequin at Abercrombie and Fitch, or to borrow a dog from the Humane Society. I love his rejections so much that I challenge my students to replicate them. Jia’s tolerance for rejection and vulnerability reveal the delight and playfulness that can emerge out of the most awkward situations.

Patience is a superpower because it gives you the ability to pause, reflect and then respond, rather than react as per your habitual (and often ill-serving) patterns. It develops clarity of thought, which enables you to bring laser focus to the problem rather than the symptoms. This then gives you the opportunity to come up with an effective solution to any challenge in your daily life,

Patience is a superpower because it gives you the ability to pause, reflect and then respond, rather than react as per your habitual (and often ill-serving) patterns.

Forgiveness doesn’t mean you say it was ok what has happened to you. No. It is more like you don’t allow that experience to drain your energy anymore. You don’t allow it to have an influence on you, on your life, and on your happiness.

Doubt and fear? That is the devil whispering negativity in your ear. Mute that toxic influence. Faith, love, gratitude for all you have and knowledge and confidence in who you are should be the only voice playing in your head.

These distortions play out in every realm—personal, professional, and political. In the United States, Democrats and Republicans both believe that members of the other party hold more extreme views than they themselves do. When it comes to the contentious issue of immigration, for example, Democrats assume Republican voters want to close

This mental process leads us to caricature the views of people who disagree with us, and to imagine them to be far more extreme than they actually are. These distortions play out in every realm—personal, professional, and political. In the United States, Democrats and Republicans both believe that members of the other party hold more extreme views than they themselves do. When it comes to the contentious issue of immigration, for example, Democrats assume Republican voters want to close