Hyper Focus Quotes

Not enough people realize that ADHD is not a disorder about loss of focus. It is a disorder of loss of emotional control, which is triggered by outside influences, self-esteem and our interpretation of events. Whether this is positive or negative it triggers us to hyper focus on what consumes our thoughts. Staying positive is critical and distancing oneself from hurtful people is essential, in order to live a life with purpose.

It is growing up different. It is extreme hypersensitivity. It is a bottomless pit of feeling you're failing, but three days later, you feel you can do anything, only to end the week where you began. It is not learning from your mistakes. It is distrusting people because you have been hurt enough. It is moments of knowing your pain is self inflicted, followed by blaming the world. It is wanting to listen, but you just can’t anymore because your life has been to full of people that have judged you. It is fighting to be right; so for once in your life someone will respect and hear you for a change. It is a tiring life of endless games with people, in order to seek stimulus. It is a hyper focus, so intense about what bothers you, that you can’t pay attention to anything else, for very long. It is a never-ending routine of forgetting things. It is a boredom and lack of contentment that keeps you running into the arms of anyone that has enough patience to stick around. It wears you out. It wears everyone out. It makes you question God’s plan. You misinterpret everything, and you allow your creative mind to fill the gaps with the same old chains that bind you. It narrows your vision of who you let into your life. It is speaking and acting without thinking. It is disconnecting from the ones you love because your mind has taken you back to what you can’t let go of. It is risk taking, thrill seeking and moodiness that never ends. You hang your hope on “signs” and abandon reason for remedy. It is devotion to the gifts and talents you have been given, that provide temporary relief. It is the latching onto the acceptance of others---like a scared child abandoned on a sidewalk. It is a drive that has no end, and without “focus” it takes you nowhere. It is the deepest anger when someone you love hurts you, and the greatest love when they don't. It is beauty when it has purpose. It is agony when it doesn’t. It is called Attention Deficit Disorder.

I don’t just like you…I really like you. I think I’m… I don’t know…hyper-focusing on you like I do with my plans and my A.I. work. But you’re not a robot. You’re a human woman, and I’m afraid I’m going to scare you away because I don’t just like you. I unhealthily like you.

In a culture of hyper-consumption the advertising industry has brainwashed many people into believing they can raise their status just by driving a particular brand of whatever it is they are pushing at you.

Love will drive you insane, but never let it drive you stupid or blind.

Not enough people realize that ADHD is not a disorder about loss of focus. It is a disorder of loss of emotional control, which is triggered by outside influences, self-esteem and our interpretation of events. Whether this is positive or negative it triggers us to hyper focus on what consumes our thoughts. Staying positive is critical and distancing oneself from hurtful people is essential, in order to live a life with purpose.

society tolerates sexually explicit images of women as long as they conform to an ideal that doesn’t relate to women’s autonomous erotic pleasure. Encouraged to be hyper-sexualised and available spectacles from a young age, when women focus on their own erotic desires and satisfaction, they are seen as monsters, and even more so when they get rich doing it.

We hyper-focus on the lines of Scripture containing the miracles, and we miss the details of the mess.

SOCIAL CUES - HYPER FOCUS - IMPULSE CONTROL - RESTLESSNESS - EXPLOSIVE TEMPERAMENT/SUDDEN OUTBURST OF EMOTION - SOCIAL ANXIETY/FEAR OF THE UNKNOWN

The Great Commandment to love God and love others is a call to intimacy; the Great Commission to go and make disciples is a call to fruitfulness. Intimacy is to precede fruitfulness. The Great Commandment must precede the Great Commission and is an inseparable part of it. When intimacy does not precede fruitfulness, we easily become subject to our own mission and become focused upon religious duty, hyper-religious activity, and aggressive striving that leaves an angry edge in our life and relationships.

One might think that a generation that has heard endlessly, from their more ideological teachers, about the rights, rights, rights that belong to them, would object to being told that they would do better to focus instead on taking responsibility. Yet this generation, many of whom were raised in small families by hyper-protective parents, on soft-surface playgrounds, and then taught in universities with “safe spaces” where they don’t have to hear things they don’t want to—schooled to be risk-averse—has among it, now, millions who feel stultified by this underestimation of their potential resilience and who have embraced Jordan’s message that each individual has ultimate responsibility to bear;

Being a journalist of your own life will force you to stop hyper-focusing on all the minor details and see the bigger picture. You

I teetered between a dazed existence and hyper-awareness. At times, I walked around in a state of confusion, unable to focus on anything, as if I weren’t fully alive.

Have you ever noticed that a narcissist can do terrible things to you and by morning it’s as if nothing happened. This is so confusing to the victim experiencing this 180 behavior. It’s grooming you that are required to forgive and forget and never discuss it again. In contrast if you do something to offend them they become hyper focused and never let you forget.

The idea that we can think our way out of our patterns is a troubling message perpetuated by a hyper-success-focused culture. We pedestal action, completion, and goal-setting and have little reverence for the nuances of life.

Those who fit in neatly at church, those who are hyper-focused on the “law” are told to repent, but the sinners, tax collectors, and prostitutes are invited to sit down for dinner, to share a glass of wine, and to build a friendship.

Have you ever thought for once that when you look in the mirror you are hyper aware of your flaws? When the rest of us may see something different. Like a teenager with a pimple. She doesn't focus on her beautiful eyes and cute lips, she zeros in on the one tiny flaw and goes nuts over it." He put his hands behind his head and looked at the ceiling. "You need to stop obsessing over your scars. It's only a quarter of your face and I can't tell you the last time I noticed.

We don’t let them play freely; we imprison them in their homes, with little to do except interact via screens; and our school system largely deadens and bores them. We feed them food that causes energy crashes, contains drug-like additives that can make them hyper, and doesn’t contain the nutrients they need. We expose them to brain-disrupting chemicals in the atmosphere. It’s not a flaw in them that causes children to struggle to pay attention. It’s a flaw in the world we built for them.

You watch one after another of the ubiquitous, hyper-argumentative talk shows that fill your television, aware that in their fury they make politics a game, diverting public attention rather than focusing it. But that suits you perfectly. Diversion is, after all, what you seek.

I slowly began to realize that I had been wasting my time with a hyper-focus on why all the “others” were doing it wrong and began to release the icy grip I had on everything I thought I knew. I finally accepted that I would be much happier if I just focused on myself and taking my own faith journey seriously and stopped worrying so much about everyone else. As soon as I gave up on the idea of changing everyone else and exchanged it for a commitment to change myself, I saw my heart begin to change.

The enemy of my soul didn't want me painting that day. To create meant that I would look a little bit like my Creator. To overcome the terrifying angst of the blank canvas meant I would forever have more compassion for other artists. You better believe as I placed the first blue and gray strokes onto the white emptiness before me, the "not good enough" statement was pulsing through my head in almost deafening tones... This parlaying lie is one of his favorite tactics to keep you disillusioned by disappointments. Walls go up, emotions run high, we get guarded, defensive, demotivated, and paralyzed by the endless ways we feel doomed to fail. This is when we quit. This is when we settle for the ease of facebook.... This is when we get a job to simply make money instead of pursuing our calling to make a difference. This is when we put the paintbrush down and don't even try. So there I was. Standing before my painted blue boat, making a choice of which voice to listen to. I'm convinced God was smiling. Pleased. Asking me to find delight in what is right. Wanting me to have compassion for myself by focusing on that part of my painting that expressed something beautiful. To just be eager to give that beauty to whoever dared to look at my boat. To create to love others. Not to beg them for validation. But the enemy was perverting all that. Perfection mocked my boat. The bow was too high, the details too elementary, the reflection on the water too abrupt, and the back of the boat too off-center. Disappointment demanded I hyper-focused on what didn't look quite right. It was my choice which narrative to hold on to: "Not good enough" or "Find delight in what is right." Each perspective swirled, begging me to declare it as truth. I was struggling to make peace with my painting creation, because I was struggling to make make peace with myself as God's creation. Anytime we feel not good enough we deny the powerful truth that we are a glorious work of God in progress. We are imperfect because we are unfinished. So, as unfinished creations, of course everything we attempt will have imperfections. Everything we accomplish will have imperfections. And that's when it hit me: I expect a perfection in me and in others that not even God Himself expects. If God is patient with the process, why can't I be? How many times have I let imperfections cause me to be too hard on myself and too harsh with others? I force myself to send a picture of my boat to at least 20 friends. I was determined to not not be held back by the enemy's accusations that my artwork wasn't good enough to be considered "real art". This wasn't for validation but rather confirmation that I could see the imperfections in my painting but not deem it worthless. I could see the imperfections in me and not deem myself worthless. It was an act of self-compassion. I now knew to stand before each painting with nothing but love, amazement, and delight. I refused to demand anything more from the artist. I just wanted to show up for every single piece she was so brave to put on display.. Might I just be courageous enough to stand before her work and require myself to find everything about it I love? Release my clenched fist and pouty disappointments, and trade my "live up" mentality for a "show up" one? It is so much more freeing to simply show up and be a finder of the good. Break from the secret disappointments. Let my brain venture down the tiny little opening of love.. And I realized what makes paintings so delightful. It's there imperfections. That's what makes it art. It's been touched by a human. It's been created by someone whose hands sweat and who can't possibly transfer divine perfection from what her eyes see to what her fingertips can create. It will be flawed.

An obsessive preoccupation with what others will think and a paralyzing fear of failure go hand in hand, and both are symptoms of a hyper-examined life. Many living a hyper-examined life will flit and float from job to job, from friend to friend, from place to place. This may seem adventurous at first, but what’s often behind this rootlessness is a compulsive need for satisfaction in every season of life. Instead of losing themselves in the joys of the mundane, the regular, and the everyday, these wandering souls constantly search their own emotional state for happiness—not realizing that such preoccupation with self is exactly what tends to kill happiness in the first place.10

Am I bothering you?” “Yes.” Samuel lifted his chin as he said this, jutting it at me, like he said the word purposely to hurt me and make me angry. “What am I doing that’s bothering you?” I again fought the wet that threatened to undermine my dignity. I spoke each word distinctly, focusing on the shape and sound instead of the sentiment. “You are so.....” His smooth voice was layered with turbulence and frustration. Samuel rarely raised his voice, and didn’t do so now, but the threat was there. “You are so… calm, and accepting, and NAIVE that sometimes…I just want to shake you!” I wondered what in the world had brought on this vehement attack and sat in stunned silence for several heartbeats. “I bother you because I’m calm...and accepting?” I said, my voice an incredulous squeak. “Do you want me to be hyper and, well, intolerant?” “It would be nice if you questioned something, sometime.” Samuel was revving up to his argument; I could see the animation in his face. “You live in your own happy little world. You don’t know how it feels to not belong anywhere! I don’t belong anywhere!” “Why do you think I created my own happy little world?” I shot back. “I fit in perfectly there!

Other common differences* between boys and girls include the following: • Boys prefer to focus on a single task, and they react more aggressively to interruptions. • Girls’ motor activities peak less quickly, are less vigorous, and last longer. • Boys create and play games that fill larger spaces, and they need to be outside more. • Girls’ attention to objects is less fleeting and less active. • Girls rely more on their five senses. • Boys do better with visual information presented to the left eye, which feeds the right hemisphere. • By age five, girls are six months ahead of boys in general development. • Boys who see themselves as physically strong will seek rough and tumble play. • Boys who feel safe and competent will seek independence earlier than girls.

If that is true, then our love for the rapture reveals a lack of love for the very world Jesus came to save. The very idea of the church abandoning the world in its time of need is endemic of an American Christianity that is more focused on the self than the needs of the other, more gnostic (concerned with right ideas) than actually Christian, and hyper-​focused on the hereafter to the detriment of the here and now.

Decide on the specific behavior you would like to change. If you focus on specifics rather than abstracts, you’ll manage better. For example, don’t tell your child to be neat; explain that you want her to pick up her blocks before she goes out to play.

Praise your child’s behavior. Don’t praise your child, but rather praise what she is doing. For example, instead of saying, “You’re a good girl for sitting quietly,” say, “It’s good you’re sitting quietly.” Focus your praise or disapproval on your child’s behavior, because that is what you’re interested in managing.

Daniel saw dancing lights, and thought they were Cleo, but the lights raced toward him, right up to his face, then tromboned away fast as a gunshot, then snapped into hyper-sharp focus. Daniel saw branches. Branches, pine needles, twisted gnarled deformed warped scrub oak branches like arthritic fingers with leaves. Tobey cried, “Daniel?” Cleo whimpered, “Daniel?” Daniel felt himself shrinking, like the world was growing larger and he was getting smaller, and Tobey and Cleo were farther away. Daniel said, “Guys?” Tobey said, “We’re looking, dude, where are you?” Cleo said, “Daniel, aniel?” Daniel struggled to get up. He fought like a werewolf with a zombie eating its neck, but the zombie was winning. “Tobey? Cleo? Where are you, you, you?” Daniel tried to keep his eyes open, but the light grew so bright it turned black. Tobey screamed, “Daniel, come back!” Cleo shrieked, “Where is he, is he, is he?” Daniel tried to answer, but could not, and knew the boys heard only silence. Tobey said, “Cleo?” Cleo said, “Tobey?” “Going?” “Gone.” “. . .” “. . .” Daniel no longer felt his body, or the earth beneath him, or the air that kissed his skin. He felt like nothing within nothing, and knew he would miss the guys, Cleo and Tobey, his only true and dear friends.

When people felt that they didn't have enough money (revenue), they couldn't focus on anything else. It was money first, second, and third—then freedom or purpose after that. It's hard to think about much else when you're struggling to pay the bills.

Autumn Psalm A full year passed (the seasons keep me honest) since I last noticed this same commotion. Who knew God was an abstract expressionist? I’m asking myself—the very question I asked last year, staring out at this array of racing colors, then set in motion by the chance invasion of a Steller’s jay. Is this what people mean by speed of light? My usually levelheaded mulberry tree hurling arrows everywhere in sight— its bow: the out-of-control Virginia creeper my friends say I should do something about, whose vermilion went at least a full shade deeper at the provocation of the upstart blue, the leaves (half green, half gold) suddenly hyper in savage competition with that red and blue— tohubohu returned, in living color. Kandinsky: where were you when I needed you? My attempted poem would lie fallow a year; I was so busy focusing on the desert’s stinginess with everything but rumor. No place even for the spectrum’s introverts— rose, olive, gray—no pigment at all— and certainly no room for shameless braggarts like the ones that barge in here every fall and make me feel like an unredeemed failure even more emphatically than usual. And here they are again, their fleet allure still more urgent this time—the desert’s gone; I’m through with it, want something fuller— why shouldn’t a person have a little fun, some utterly unnecessary extravagance? Which was—at least I think it was—God’s plan when He set up (such things are never left to chance) that one split-second assignation with genuine, no-kidding-around omnipotence what, for lack of better words, I’m calling vision. You breathe in, and, for once, there’s something there. Just when you thought you’d learned some resignation, there’s real resistance in the nearby air until the entire universe is swayed. Even that desert of yours isn’t quite so bare and God’s not nonexistent; He’s just been waylaid by a host of what no one could’ve foreseen. He’s got plans for you: this red-gold-green parade is actually a fairly detailed outline. David never needed one, but he’s long dead and God could use a little recognition. He promises. It won’t go to His head and if you praise Him properly (an autumn psalm! Why didn’t I think of that?) you’ll have it made. But while it’s true that my Virginia creeper praises Him, its palms and fingers crimson with applause, that the local breeze is weaving Him a diadem, inspecting my tree’s uncut gold for flaws, I came to talk about the way that violet-blue sprang the greens and reds and yellows into action: actual motion. I swear it’s true though I’m not sure I ever took it in. Now I’d be prepared, if some magician flew into my field of vision, to realign that dazzle out my window yet again. It’s not likely, but I’m keeping my eyes open though I still wouldn’t be able to explain precisely what happened to these vines, these trees. It isn’t available in my tradition. For this, I would have to be Chinese, Wang Wei, to be precise, on a mountain, autumn rain converging on the trees, a cassia flower nearby, a cloud, a pine, washerwomen heading home for the day, my senses and the mountain so entirely in tune that when my stroke of blue arrives, I’m ready. Though there is no rain here: the air’s shot through with gold on golden leaves. Wang Wei’s so giddy he’s calling back the dead: Li Bai! Du Fu! Guys! You’ve got to see this—autumn sun! They’re suddenly hell-bent on learning Hebrew in order to get inside the celebration, which explains how they wound up where they are in my university library’s squashed domain. Poor guys, it was Hebrew they were looking for, but they ended up across the aisle from Yiddish— some Library of Congress cataloger’s sense of humor: the world’s calmest characters and its most skittish squinting at each other, head to head, all silently intoning some version of kaddish. Part 1

A bowl of blueberries every other day has proven to dramatically reduce your chances of getting cancer or developing heart disease.

To achieve cost savings and strategic performance while innovating and taking decisions that will have serious consequences, apply the systems thinking approach and a knowledge-based vision. Have a long-term focus and strategic objectives; acknowledge the complexity of an organization; recognise that scaling-up successful strategy requires (hyper)convergence of business objectives, data analytics, human-factors engineering, information and cyber security, regulatory compliance, cutting edge technologies… Understand the process! Enjoy success!

The Promethean = the Faustian = the eternal seeker = the eternal wanderer = the eternal quester. The Promethean is a romantic, a striving figure, an outsider, a non-conformist. He’s often alone. Conventional society has rejected him and, more importantly, he has rejected conventional society. The HyperHuman plays the Great Game – the God Game. His objective it to transform himself into God ... to undergo the ultimate metamorphosis. The HyperHuman is a new kind of knight, a knight of the mind. He seeks to merit the title of “knight” and lives courageously by a noble code. His life has total focus and purpose. His mind is always focused on the Holy Grail. The search for the Grail is the symbol of the HyperHuman’s search for heaven, for God, to become God.

We need to stop being so hyper-focused on gender, race, age, and sexual stereotyping. Live and let live for crying out loud. From my perspective, we’ve gone so overboard with attempts to not insult someone or stereotype something about them that divisiveness is now the rule… far too often.

Visionaries are hyper-focused to make sure there dreams come through. Be a visionary!

Never hyper-focus on one ball. You do not live or die by one sale. 2. You never wonder, “What’s next?” because your next deal is already in the works. 3. You are surrounded by opportunity—making contacts, gaining referrals, generating new business, always reaching for new balls. 4. You know that it takes as much energy to manage one ball as it does four, five, or even six. 5. You control the flight path—you know which balls to handle first, which ones to deal with quickly, and which ones require more time and attention. 6. You don’t blindly toss balls in the air. You care about where each one lands. LET FEAR DRIVE YOUR SUCCESS

It has been found that hyper-focusing on negativity weakens the immune system. If you instead choose to be grateful no matter what appears, your life will be blessed with new and wonderful experiences.

As your listing goes live, be hyper focused on your reviews and adopt the mindset that negative reviews are not personal—they are intel!

. . .schizophrenics attempt to compensate for a loss of intuition [and common sense], of that vital, pre-reflective grasp of reality, by a sort of pseudo-philosophising, or ‘hyper-reflection’ on experience – essentially a disease of over-awareness, in which things that should run smoothly at the preconscious level are yanked into the focus of awareness, where life comes to a juddering halt.

Meyer, in his book Setting the Table, said he believes that he can guess what type of experience he will have, in any restaurant or business, solely based on how the staff members “appear to be focused on their work, supportive of one another, and enjoying one another’s company.” Too many companies believe that improving CX requires being hyper-focused on the customer, but Meyer demonstrates that CX can be improved by focusing on the employees as well.

When we succumb to the tunnel vision of perceiving only one group as opposition, we lose sight of the bigger picture and the complexities of our interconnected world. Such hyper focus blinds us to the shared humanity and potential for collaboration that exists beyond our self-defined boundaries. True progress arises when we break free from this narrow perspective and seek understanding and common ground among all, transcending the limitations of divisive thinking.

last I checked, I didn’t need any help getting pussy.” “I also don’t remember the last time you worked so hard for it.” “Yeah, well, I’m getting bored, and we all know what happens then.” I tend to hyper-focus on something to the point of obsession. It could be anything from eating religiously at the same restaurant to hunting down the most elusive assholes with a bounty on their head.

Children have needs—and it’s our job, as adults, to create an environment that meets those needs. In many cases, in this culture, we aren’t meeting those needs. We don’t let them play freely; we imprison them in their homes, with little to do except interact via screens; and our school system largely deadens and bores them. We feed them food that causes energy crashes, contains drug-like additives that can make them hyper, and doesn’t contain the nutrients they need. We expose them to brain-disrupting chemicals in the atmosphere. It’s not a flaw in them that causes children to struggle to pay attention. It’s a flaw in the world we built for them.

I needed to ease some of the pressure I’d placed on myself. Pressure comes with high expectations, which is great because it can bring out your best, but there are times when it can be more helpful to offload pressure. When you are exhausted, it is vital to remain in control of your thoughts and emotions so you can make decisions with your right mind. Choosing to relieve pressure allows you to do that. When the pressure is high, you develop blinders that limit perspective. That’s great for certain situations that demand a hyper focus, but when you’re engaged in something that demands your maximum endurance, it’s better to broaden your perspective and your awareness to absorb more of the experience, which enables maximum growth both during the event and in the days and weeks to follow. Besides, if you allow that unrelenting pressure to build, you’re liable to snap and make a bad situation a whole lot worse. Remember, the goal is always to complete the mission—whatever it may be—with no regrets and a clear head, so you can use it to progress in life.

Think of mind as pure awareness, like an empty sky. Through the mind travel our thoughts, images, body awareness, memories, urges, dreams, and more—always moving and transforming, like weather in the atmosphere. This “weather” is our state of mind at any given time. When we are in reasonable mind it is just another day, and we don’t even notice the weather. The mind is hyper-rational, focused on the facts and tasks at hand. When we are in emotion mind, emotions are in control and storms blow in. Rationality flies away like leaves in an autumn gale. Under the influence of very strong emotions, thoughts jump from the past to the future and back to the present, and emotions and urges feel as unstable as tornados. The weather of wise mind is peaceful, even if a storm has recently passed by. Emotions may be present, like clouds in a blue sky, but the weather is calm. We are aware both of the facts of a situation and of our feelings about it. The mind is quiet and the attention is focused in the moment. Most of the time a part of your attention is quietly observing everything you are doing, even your own state of mind. To identify your state of mind, tune in to yourself from that observing part of you. How do you feel in your body? What are your thoughts like? Is emotion present? Can you name it? Do you feel any urges? Do you feel a loud intensity; a cool, logical focus; or a quiet inner knowing? Being able to look at your mind this way will help you identify your state of mind

Of course I’m freaking out!” I exclaimed. ‘We’re dangling off a cliff—and instead of rappelling down like normal people, Erica wants to know if I smell anything!” “The point is to be aware of your surroundings at all times,” Erica explained. “Which requires using all of your senses. Right now, you’re hyper-focused on the rock in front of you and nothing else.” “The rock is important,” I explained. “If I fall off of it, I die.

I licked my lips, my gaze still hyper-focused on the outline of her fat pussy lips being on display for me. I looked into her eyes briefly, and what I’d been looking for was already staring back at me.

The SOM is even smaller and represents the number of people you will sell to first. To find this number, ask yourself this question, “If I had to pick up the phone right now, who is the one person/business I would call?” This hyper-focus builds the obtainable market you are going after. Out of the 500,000 people looking for investment dollars, we are only going after first-time entrepreneurs with new business ideas. This number is reduced to about 50,000.

That I-me-mine self is constructed largely in and by the brain’s medial prefrontal cortex. It’s assisted by the medial temporal lobe, the parietal lobe, and the PCC of which we’ll hear more in Chapter 3. This brain network allows us to do things that other animals cannot. We can compose music and calculate math. We have a sense of time that includes past and future, allowing us to delay gratification to meet our goals. We are able to contemplate the very nature of consciousness, using the brain to think about our thoughts. Yet consciousness is always turned on. Whether we’re focusing on a task using the TPN or listening to the rambling of the demon, the engine is running at 2,000 RPM. There’s no easy way of shutting off our thoughts, of getting outside the self. In his book The Curse of Self, psychologist Mark Leary of Duke University shows the many downsides of this perpetual self-awareness. He shows that it leads to many forms of suffering, including “depression, anxiety, anger, jealousy, and other negative emotions.” He concludes that self-awareness is “single-handedly responsible for many, if not most of the problems that human beings face as individuals and as a species.” We can summarize this state in a single word: “selfing.” Meditation quiets self-awareness and gives us relief from selfing. In experienced meditators, the “self” parts of the prefrontal cortex go offline. The jargon for this is “hypofrontality.” Hypo is the opposite of hyper, and hypofrontality means the shutting down of the brain’s frontal lobes. The inner critic shuts up. The negative self-talk about “who I am” and “what I do” and “what other people think of me” ceases. We quit selfing. This gives us a sense of identity beyond the suffering self and all the roles it plays. Psychologist Robert Kegan is the former head of adult psychology at Harvard University. He calls the transcendence of selfing the “subject-object shift.” In altered states, we get out of the subjective selves we normally think we are. To be objective, you can’t be the object you’re contemplating. So when the brain enters a state of hypofrontality and we’re no longer enmeshed in the local self, we gain perspective on it. We realize we’re more than that. To realize it’s an object we’re observing, we have to step out of the suffering self. We see the demon from a distance as we step into an identity that is vastly greater than the one we previously inhabited. 2.8. When we make the subject-object shift we escape the limitations of the finite self. Kegan believes that making this jump is the most powerful way to facilitate personal transformation. He says that after it makes the subject-object shift, “the self is more about movement through different states of consciousness than about defending and identifying with any one form.

The thesis that we need to address the dangerous implications of the UFO and alien abduction phenomenon as a “psychic and symbolic reality,” as well as a “control system which acts on humans and uses humans,” contradicts certain trends in contemporary spiritual and New Age thought. These days, we find a strong tendency in many spiritual communities to focus single-mindedly on the power of positivity and affirmations of the light, based on ideas such as “The Law of Manifestation” or “The Secret.” The underlying belief is that each of us creates our own reality through our thoughts and intentions. Therefore, if we simply avoid anything dark or malevolent, nothing negative will be able to enter our field. But unfortunately, reality is not that simple, and this approach is a blatant form of spiritual bypassing. Paul Levy explores the idea that modern Anglo-European culture is infected by what the Algonquins call “wetiko,” a cannibalistic spirit driven by greed, excess, and selfish consumption. “Spiritual/New Age practitioners who endlessly affirm the light while ignoring the shadow” fall “under the spell of wetiko,” he writes. By seeking to turn away from and hide their darkness, these practitioners unwittingly reinforce “the very evil from which they are fleeing. Looking away from darkness, thus keeping it unconscious, is what evil depends upon for its existence. If we unconsciously react … to evil by turning a blind eye toward it – “seeing no evil” – we are investing the darkness with power over us.” The alternative is to permeate evil with awareness, “stalking” the shadow so we can catch and assimilate it. Carl Jung wrote, “One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious.” If the thesis developed in this essay has validity, then New Age spiritual practitioners will have to overcome their bypassing and confront the dark side of the psyche, reckoning with the occult control system. At the same time, political and ecological activists will need to interrogate their inveterate bias toward a purely materialist analysis, to acknowledge the existence of occult, hyper-dimensional, forces at work behind the scenes, influencing the course of events. And conspiracy theorists who believe in an incredibly evil, highly organized and intelligent cabal of human controllers working to bring about a New World Order surveillance society of enslavement will have to recognize that the controllers operating behind the scenes are not humans at all. Here and there, the Bible gets this right - as in Ephesians: “For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.” If we aren’t aiming at the proper targets, we will never hit the mark.

I am not suggesting that all of GE’s problems resulted from its guidance culture, but I think it played a significant role. When business managers are hyper-focused on meeting quarterly numbers, their long-term orientation takes a back seat; when a company is desperate to make an acquisition just to meet its earnings, it can overpay for a bad asset; when a manager is unable to speak the truth about accounting obfuscations, they pile up over time.

When facing undesirable circumstances, we do an excellent job of hyper-focusing on what irks us.

Hyper focusing on physical possessions will not bring us happiness or satisfaction, nor will it ensure long-term financial gain.

We live in a society that is hyper-focused on avoiding failure at all costs.

But the individual may use the capacity for mentalization in self-serving ways, either to control, seduce, or coerce others by anticipating their needs, or to avoid painful realities that do not converge with their distorted self concept. Bateman and Fonagy (2016) termed this process as hyper- or overactive mentalization.

We followed him to a covered veranda. In America, we would call that a lemonade porch, however, in South Africa, they call it a stoep. A meeting place located outside the front of the home where friends and family can gather, and one can watch the rising or the setting of the sun in the cozy spot simply called a stoep. The stoep projected a natural ambience of peace and harmony, as a light breeze filled the space with its woodsy fragrance of pine and other natural fragrances inspired by the area’s shrubbery. It almost felt like it was hypnotizing one into a deeper state of tranquility, a state of existence that celebrated the quiet pockets of solitude where a richer from of living is housed. It made one slouch a little more meaningfully and relax the muscles of your body a little more conscientiously, as you let go of one’s innate need to think – to think to the point of hyper focusing on the meaningless details of life, for example, the incessant need to make every moment in life count… Yet, the stoep’s lesson of deeper living is simply the gift of becoming reacquainted with the joy of just being – open yet connected to now, without a higher purpose beyond that. Sometimes, the greatest gift that we can give ourselves is just to sit in the rawness of the moment without any outcome or intention in mind – except, to breathe in the life of the area around us. That is where my afternoon’s lesson ended, knowing that a stoep is a space where quality of human connection is made with or without the presence of any audience because it’s that space that celebrates the stillness of nothing and yet everything simultaneously, or in the words of Rumi: “In order to understand the dance, one must be still. And in order to truly understand the stillness, one must dance.” In South Africa that concept is lovingly called…Die Stoep, a space of possibility.

Have you ever noticed that a narcissist could do terrible things to you and by morning it's as if nothing happened. This is so confusing to the victim experiencing these 180 behaviors. It's grooming you that are required to forgive and forget and never discuss it again. In contrast if you do something to offend them, they become hyper focused and never let you forget.

Building a business is a creative act. Few of us realize when we start out that we are creating not only a company but a culture. That’s because it’s usually not planned. It just happens. While everyone is focused on something else, making sales, providing service, sending out invoices, a little community springs up. It has its own unspoken customs, traditions, modes of dress and speech, and rules of behavior. By the time you become aware of it, the culture is often well established and it will probably be a reflection of your personality.

But this doesn’t mean you’re all fake and annoying either, George. Enthusiasm doesn’t mean you bounce off the walls all hyper and all. The kind of enthusiasm Jack and I talk about is real. You don’t have to force it or push it. You just live it. You let your presence do the convincing. So just focus on getting excited and enthusiastic yourself and let your energy do the talking. Focus today on becoming the heart of your team. Realize that just as every cell in the body beats to the frequency of the heart, everyone around you will beat to your frequency and your energy.

Wanting our kids to be successful is natural,” says Palo Alto psychiatrist Stacy Budin. “But the less healthy part comes from the hyper drive in our communities for kids to set themselves apart and shine in one way or another, or in all ways. There’s so much pressure for kids to achieve that it can become the focus of the mother’s life to ensure that high achievement happens. Some mothers seem to have nothing but their kids’ SATs and accomplishments to talk about. Then, when college admission offers come, the competitiveness, bragging, and comparisons are hard for all but the few who have the most to brag about. It’s not great for kids and it’s not great for mothers.”32 And what’s more, this great achievement race is all calibrated to a college admission system that is very, very broken.

This happens when someone who is hyper-focused on social context becomes emotionally paralyzed, so intent on parsing every nuance of the social environment that—like a dinner guest taking her place at an elaborately set table and finding six forks flanking her plate—she is afraid of making the wrong move. Similarly, someone who is extremely sensitive to context might shape her behavior to what she thinks the situation demands, presenting herself as one kind of person to her spouse, another kind to her boss, and still another kind to her friends, until soon she begins to doubt her own sincerity and authenticity.

Mindfulness focuses on taking our attention away from something emotionally stimulating and anchoring our mind to something else happening in the present moment, for instance, our breathing or what we can feel around us. It emphasizes the importance of considering our impulses before we act them out, as well as converting self-damaging thoughts into positive ones.

Furthermore, it is crucial that we enhance our executive functioning skills as this will become a valuable tool on our journey of organization and cleaning.

ADHD is often disregarded by our friends and family and not seen as a legitimate mentally impairing illness. In turn, we may find ourselves unfairly labeled as lazy or even stupid.

Creating the barrier between the emotion and the response will help us recognize the emotion when it comes and allow us to step back and choose a response different from the usual.

Another step to success with cleaning is prioritizing self-care, meaning it is time for you to start investing in your well-being. Practicing activities like exercising, meditation, and mindfulness are amazing for your brain.

One of the most crucial tactics for cleaning is establishing a structured routine and maintaining consistency. This means creating a plan and dedicating certain days to certain chores.

An external situation is something that exists outside of our immediate control, for instance, seeing your friend’s organized house, subsequently leading you to feel upset about your untidy house.

To put it simply, emotional dysregulation creates intense emotions. This, paired with our ADHD, can trigger an impulsive reaction. This combination can present itself as bouncing off the walls with joy or crying our eyes out. Thus, it creates a display of emotions that is unfitting for the situation. It is one of the most prevalent and demanding symptoms of ADHD.

One way we can break down these walls of stigma is by sharing our stories. While this can feel daunting, people want to hear your voice! However, for this to be effective, we must also educate ourselves so that when it comes to battling those pesky discriminators, we are fully equipped with knowledge and factual information.

you have felt how hard it is to stay focused on one thing, internally beating yourself up for not being able to concentrate like your friends. Maybe you can even relate to the exhausting feeling of a constant racing mind, all while trying to remember coping strategies and ways to process emotions accurately. The daily life of a neurodivergent individual is one that can feel overwhelming and draining, but with a loving support system and an abundance of self-care, it is a unique path that we must embrace.

I’d begin by washing dishes, go do laundry mid-way, and ultimately end up picking out weeds from my garden. On other days, I’d have a sudden urge to combat my bathroom, living room, and kitchen all at once, to then feel burnt out and like I hadn’t really accomplished much.

This vicious cycle of hyper-focusing one week to not focusing at all another week, mixed with a million and one negative feelings, grew exhausting. However, deep down, I knew that with the right strategies, our unique minds could overcome any struggle, including converting chaos into calm.

I think the social critic Laurence Scott does so quite effectively when he describes the modern hyper-connected existence as one in which “a moment can feel strangely flat if it exists solely in itself.

Perfectionism is usually an unhealthy coping mechanism for those who dealt with excessive criticism growing up.

perfection is not the required outcome, nor is it the goal of organizing your home.