Humorous Covid Quotes

God, sir,' John couldn't help but add, 'after all we've been through since 2020, it's miraculous that people even dare to wake up every day!

Here is a COVID-19 Commandment: Great love has no one than this, to lay on one's couch without friends.

I choke on the smell of grease, cigarettes, and poor life choices.

Here is a COVID-19 Commandment: Greater love has no one than this, to lay on one's couch without friends.

I want to die, because I want to live.

I like to wear gloves for the slippery ones, but you do you.

I hope everyone is laughing at this Corona Virus jokes and Memes, with their hands being sanitized or washed with soap. They have Isolated themselves from the crowd and they have been self quarantined or practicing social distance. If not then the joke is on them. Corona will have the last laugh on their lives

Covid is like the Camino. The same two sets of clothing rotated, the plans and strategies for obtaining supplies." (pg 321)

Con tutto il paese blindato in casa per fermare l'epidemia, quelle tre ridevano mentre aspettavano di fare la spesa. Una addirittura a un certo punto ha tirato fuori il telefonino e ha detto: "Facciamoci un selfie". Non so come siano riuscite a stare nella foto senza violare il distanziamento, ma era comunque una cosa fastidiosa, al punto che si è avvicinato un carabiniere, uno di quegli appuntati giovanissimi al primo anno di servizio, e ha chiesto loro cosa stessero facendo. Mi aspettavo che smettessero e si scusassero, per rispetto della divisa e della circostanza, invece una ha risposto: "Ci facciamo una foto rispettando il distanziamento, c'è qualcosa che lo vieta?". L'arroganza di quella risposta non me la dimenticherò mai. Il carabiniere, per quanto giovanissimo, si è comportato da signore e non ha perso le staffe. "Non c'è un divieto, ma vi sembra il caso di farvi i selfie, con i camion che portano via i morti." [...] "Cosa c'entrano i morti con la nostra foto? Le norme sono contro il contagio, non contro il buon umore.

Love thy chemicals.

What is the greatest fruit of a personal Covid? I’d say patience, sprinkled with a healthy sense of humor, which allows us to endure and make space for change to happen.

Pandemics are something that all of the population can join in.

Love thy chemicals.

So Many Concerts after Covid . . . so little time

old ladies once again shared their needles and the cats weren’t the only cats licking people

A perplexing aspect of Long COVID is that numerous sufferers undergo a plethora of medical tests, which typically return results that are either 'within normal limits' or unusually abnormal, eluding easy explanation. On the surface, everything might look ostensibly normal, or biomarkers may display only slight variations. This diagnostic uncertainty leaves us grappling with a fragmented understanding of the condition, akin to a scene from "The Simpsons" where Mr. Burns is diagnosed with the fictional Three-Stooges Syndrome, humorously illustrating the dilemma of too many symptoms trying to manifest simultaneously, much like the Stooges attempting to pass through a door at the same time.

Running a small business is a lot like spinning a roulette wheel. You can win big, you could lose everything, or maybe you'll do ok. The problem is, even after you've landed on a good space, you MUST take another spin at the wheel. On a particular day in March 2020, the wheel landed on Covid-19.

If aliens wanted to exterminate us, they wouldn't send a fleet of spaceships or a Deathstar. They'd just send one guy with a deadly virus.

I don't want to speak...

Smar: 'There is a common secret.' Angie: 'A common secret?' Smar: 'Yes, Angie, you may have psychic abilities, because the world is indeed ending.

Norma: 'It's a pandemic, Angie. It's serious.' Angie: 'If it's not?' Norma: 'What are you implying?' Angie: 'We're not ancient humans, Norma. Humanity has evolved so much that nowadays nothing is impossible. Not even avoiding lethal infection from a virus.

Now you trigger me about the power of thinking.

I have fever of comedyvirus. I think thoughts. I open eyes. I'm not CIA, but I could be. I'm not the Riddler, but I could be.

You know, girls, I was wondering how the end of the world will be.

I am most sincerely glad that hindsight is 2020 at last.

Focus on good things, however small; find humor in difficult situations; fill your day with positive affirmations.

There's much confusion surrounding the Covid shot. The effectiveness of the shot is less than promised, there are breakthrough infections to those that got the shot and emerging variants that will necessitate the need for booster shots, there was a rush to produce the shot, there are no “long term” studies to support the shot, people that contract Covid have a more robust immunity than provided by the shot - but are being told they must get the shot, and there’s the fact that less than 1 of 100 people dies from Covid. Worsening the confusion, some people that got the shot are becoming upset with people that didn’t get the shot because they are spreading the infection to those that got the shot though promised they'd be protected from infection. Given the confusion, it's surprising there aren't more people deciding to give waiting to get the shot “a shot.