“
Baby, I have no idea how this will end. Maybe the equator will fall like a hula hoop from the earth’s hips and our mouths will freeze mid-kiss on our 80th anniversary or maybe tomorrow my absolute insanity combined with the absolute obstacle course of your communication skills will leave us like a love letter in a landfill. But whatever, however, whenever this ends I want you to know that right now, I love you forever.
”
”
Andrea Gibson (How It Ends)
“
What Goes Around Comes Around Like A Hula Hoop
”
”
Lil Wayne
“
Bright Idea #91: When the weather's bad and your lights go out, have a pajama party. Eat till you feel sick, hula-hoop, paint your faces. Catch fireflies, and dance naked in the rain. If you do, then your bare butt will light up like a firefly after it's been let out of a jar.
”
”
Sandra Kring (The Book of Bright Ideas)
“
Smoke was a person with a sense of history. Do you know what I mean?" ...in truth, I DID know what she meant. Da Vinci, Martin Luther King, Jr., Genghis Kahn, Abraham Lincoln, Bette Davis - if you read their definitive biographies, you learned even when they were a month old, cooing in some wobbly crib in the middle of nowhere, they already had something historic about them. The way other kids had baseball, long division, Hot Wheels, and hula hoops, these kids had History and thus tended to be prone to colds, unpopular, sometimes plagued with a physical deformity (Lord Byron's clubfoot, Maugham's severe stutter, for example), which pushed them into exile in their heads. It was there they began to dream of human anatomy, civil rights, conquering Asia, a lost speech and being (within a span of four years) a jezebel, a marked woman, a little fox and an old maid.
”
”
Marisha Pessl (Special Topics in Calamity Physics)
“
And once you are that fat, the ‘fuck-it-factor; comes into play. The fuck-it factor means that you know (even the most basic grasp of nutrition) it will take ages to lose your excess weight, so you might as well get an easy lay by sticking half a packet of Hula Hoops into a tub of cheese spread.
”
”
Rae Earl (My Mad Fat Diary (Rae Earl, #1))
“
You realize that our mistrust of the future makes it hard to give up the past. We can’t give up our concept of who we were. All those adults playing archaeologist at yard sales, looking for childhood artifacts, board games, CandyLand, Twister, they’re terrified. Trash becomes holy relics. Mystery Date. Hula Hoops. Our way of getting nostalgic for what we just threw in the trash, it’s all because we’re afraid to evolve. Grow, change, lose weight, reinvent ourselves. Adapt.
”
”
Chuck Palahniuk (Survivor)
“
Also, Grover had insisted on bringing the Hula-Hoop in the cab with us, and I had a giant chalice in my lap, so we were already unreliable narrators.
”
”
Rick Riordan (The Chalice of the Gods (Percy Jackson and the Olympians, #6))
“
Yo mama so skinny she hula hoops with a cheerio.
”
”
Jess Franken (The 100 Best Yo Mama Jokes)
“
The Internet is a fad that is full of Tumbling and children who write explicit fan fiction pornography based upon my boyfriend’s books. They should be outside playing with pinecones or hula hoops or whatever it is children do these days, not talking about a fictional threesome that will never happen.
”
”
T.J. Klune (How to Be a Movie Star (How to Be, #2))
“
But girls like me, with coal skin and hula-hoop hips, whose mommas barely make enough money to keep food in the house, have to take opportunities every chance we get.
”
”
Renée Watson (Piecing Me Together)
“
Drat! She'd invaded his hula hoop.
”
”
Virginia Smith (Stuck in the Middle (Sister-to-Sister #1))
“
Patches don’t look it, but when attached to your soul they can get pretty heavy. They go over the holes in your soul, like when you patch a sock. When you have a hole in your soul, it’s because you’re hurting from something. I don’t know if you noticed, but that girl had a lot of holes.
”
”
Nathan Reese Maher (Lights Out: Book 2)
“
There’s nothing wrong with you at all. Sometimes people say or do things that are mean because there's something the matter with them. With Lydia, it seems there’s always something wrong with her.
”
”
Nathan Reese Maher (Lights Out: Book 2)
“
The very first day, I came up with an obstacle course that everyone could do. The kids had to pick their way through five hula hoops lying on the ground; cross a mat by stepping on four giant, brightly colored "feet" that I'd cut out of felt; and then pick up an extra-large beanbag (actually a buckwheat neck and shoulder pillow) and bring it back to the group. I'd bought bags of cheap gold medals at Walmart, the kind you'd put in a little kid's birthday part goody bag. I made sure I had enough for everyone. So even when a child stepped on every single hula hoop and none of the giant feet, he or she got a medal.
A few weeks in, I noticed that Adam, a nonverbal thirteen-year-old, was always clutching that medal in whichever hand his mom wasn't holding. The medals weren't very study to begin with, and his was beginning to look a bit worse for wear, so after class I slipped a couple of spares into his mom's purse. Turning to thank me, she had tears in her eyes. "You can't imagine how much it means to him to have a medal," she said. "He sleeps with it.
”
”
Kristine Barnett (The Spark: A Mother's Story of Nurturing Genius)
“
The shadow self is what lies beneath the makeup. It’s those ugly parts that you haven’t accepted about yourself. You hide those parts in the shadows until you’re ready.” Her face remained a haunting calm. “When you realize the scars are who you are, that there was nothing wrong with you and that you were beautiful all along - that’s when you decide to take the makeup off.
”
”
Nathan Reese Maher (Lights Out: Book 2)
“
Meanwhile, Sadie had drawn a big circle about the size of a hula-hoop on the concrete. She was now decorating it with hieroglyphs, using several different colors of chalk. By all means, Annabeth thought with frustration. Take your time and make it pretty!
”
”
Rick Riordan (The Staff of Serapis (Demigods & Magicians, #2))
“
YO MAMA SO SKINNY... Yo mama so skinny she hula hoops with a cheerio. Yo mama so skinny she can grate cheese on her ribs. Yo mama so skinny her nipples touch. Your mama is so skinny she can dodge raindrops. Yo mama's so skinny when her pimp slapped her he got a paper cut. Yo mama so skinny she uses Chapstick for deodorant. Yo mama so skinny she uses a tea bag as her pillow. Yo mama so skinny she uses a Band-Aid as a maxi-pad. Yo mama so skinny when she swallowed a meatball everyone thought she was pregnant again. Yo mama so skinny if she had a yeast infection she'd be a Quarter Pounder with cheese.
”
”
Jess Franken (The 100 Best Yo Mama Jokes)
“
Even as a tot model, though, I couldn't just stand their, nor was it all fun. It was work! I'd have to do stuff like hula-hoop, blow bubbles, pretend to laugh or (the worst), hold hands with other kids: usually their hands were sweaty and clammy, or they'd pick their nose right up to the very last second, then reach their fingers towards mine.
”
”
Naya Rivera (Sorry Not Sorry: Dreams, Mistakes, and Growing Up)
“
All those adults playing archaeologist at yard sales, looking for childhood artifacts, board games, CandyLand, Twister, they’re terrified. Trash becomes holy relics. Mystery Date. Hula Hoops. Our way of getting nostalgic for what we just threw in the trash, it’s all because we’re afraid to evolve. Grow, change, lose weight, reinvent ourselves. Adapt.
”
”
Chuck Palahniuk (Survivor)
“
Because I am, just as you are you. We don’t always get to pick who we are, Shelly Wynn, but we can choose to celebrate it.
”
”
Nathan Reese Maher (Lights Out: Book 2)
“
I had long ago learned that books are the best presents you can buy for a person--except me. I like toys. But the point is books last longer, and aren't as easy to break, like almost everything else you can buy in today's free market. Call me an English major, but I happen to believe that books are more substantial than pet rocks, hula hoops, and most fruitcakes.
”
”
Gary Reilly (Home for the Holidays (Asphalt Warrior, #4))
“
Uh-oh," Will muttered. "This is going to be ... interesting."
It turned out the creative genius behind the movie was Will's dad - the god Apollo, which meant this was not going to be a typical orientation flick. No, as we soon found out, Apollo had written, directed, produced, hosted and starred in ... a variety show.
For those of you who don't know what a variety show is, imagine a talent show on steroids, complete with canned laughter, pre-recorded applause, and an extra-large helping of hokeyness. For the next hour, we cringe-watched as Apollo and our demigod predecessors performed in song-and-dance numbers, recited poetry, acted in comedy sketches and harmonized in a musical group called the Lyre Choir. Naturally, Apollo featured prominently in most of the acts. The one of him hula-hooping shirtless while satyrs capered around with long rainbow ribbons on sticks ... you can't unsee that kind of thing.
”
”
Rick Riordan (Camp Half-Blood Confidential (The Trials of Apollo))
“
It would be hard to beat a man senseless with a plastic Hula-Hoop covered in sparkles, and yet for a long and rather pleasant moment, I consider trying. “Amy?” John asks. “Is that you?
”
”
Kelly Harms (The Overdue Life of Amy Byler)
“
In retrospect people often seem embarrassed by that time--the late sixties into the seventies--as if suddenly confronted with some lunatic member of your family, once revered, now disgraced. Even John Lennon, who would hold on as much as anybody, would at one point have to declare, "Don't give me no more brother, brother." [...]
But, really, so much was accomplished, so much changed (and even less noticed, a lot held on to), that it seems inappropriate to be quite so uncomfortable with our past. For by refusing to accept the world as we were told to (most pointedly the war in Vietnam) we held on to many of the traditional values we had been taught, not the least of which was to demand accountability from our government. We shouldn't forget that a lot had to change. For America couldn't forever remain the child of the Hula-Hoop with the arsenal of Armageddon.
”
”
Ethan A. Russell (Dear Mr. Fantasy: Diary of a Decade)
“
Purrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
Trez frowned at the sound. Cracking one eye open, he found his brother standing over his bed, Boo the black cat in the male’s arms, an expression of disapproval narrowing those icy eyes.
His brother’s, not the cat’s.
“Are you spending another night on your ass,” iAm bit out.
Not a question, so why bother throwing out an answer.
Groaning as he sat up, Trez had to brace his arms to keep his torso vertical. Apparently, while he’d been out of it, the world had turned into a hula hoop and the planet was going around and around his neck.
Losing the fight, he flopped back down.
As his brother kept standing there, he knew that this was the siren call back to reality. And he wanted to answer it, he really did. His body, however, was out of gas.
“When was the last time you fed?” iAm demanded.
He shifted his eyes over and dodged the question. “Since when are you an animal lover?”
“I hate this g*dd*mn cat.”
“I can tell.
”
”
J.R. Ward (The King (Black Dagger Brotherhood, #12))
“
The Oreo cookie invented, the Titanic sinks, Spanish flu, Prohibition, women granted the right to vote, Lindbergh flies solo across the Atlantic, penicillin invented, stock market crashes, the Depression, Amelia Earhart, the atom is split, Prohibition ends, Golden Gate Bridge is built, Pearl Harbor, D-Day, the Korean War, Disneyland, Rosa Parks, Laika the dog is shot into space, hula hoops, birth control pill invented, Bay of Pigs, Marilyn Monroe dies, JFK killed, MLK has a dream, Vietnam War, Star Trek, MLK killed, RFK killed, Woodstock, the Beatles (George, Ringo, John, and Paul) break up, Watergate, the Vietnam War ends, Nixon resigns, Earth Day, Fiddler on the Roof, Olga Korbut, Patty Hearst, Transcendental Meditation, the ERA, The Six Million Dollar Man.
"Bloody hell," I said when she was done.
"I know. It must be a lot to take in."
"It's unfathomable. A Brit named his son Ringo Starr?"
She looked pleasantly surprised: she'd thought I had no sense of humor.
"Well, I think his real name was Richard Starkey.
”
”
Melanie Gideon (Valley of the Moon)
“
I shifted one strap over my shoulder, then the other. I circled my head around and swiveled my hips, creating a sort of hula hoop helix, a study in the curves of a woman's body. He reached for me, but I stepped back, just beyond his reach.
"Not yet..."
"Argh," he said, but he said it with a smile. "Yes, mademoiselle."
I turned around and grazed the tops of his knees with my butt, then spread my legs and bent over, because I knew the dress would ride up. I'd known this Hervé Léger was good for dancing, but I hadn't known until then that it was made for holding men entranced.
I stood up while his hand moved up and down my inner thigh, and then his other hand joined in. He unzipped the back of the dress and it fell to the ground with an unsexy sandbag-like thud. I had never stood in front of a man in just a bra, panties, and heels. My first instinct was to be embarrassed, to want to cover up or turn down the lights, to jump on him so he wouldn't have such a complete view of every inch of me.
Yet his gaze only grew in intensity.
But then Pascal pulled me at the knees so I buckled and tripped on the way to his lap. He flicked my bra open and off so my arms flew wildly in front of me. Then, in a rather impressive move, he slid my panties off and circled me around me so I was the one sitting and he stood over me. All of a sudden, he had the control.
"Hey," I said. A quiver came into my voice now that he was on top and I didn't know what to do.
Pascal unbuttoned his shirt and unbuckled his belt. I got the picture and began to kick off my shoes, but he stopped me.
"Leave them on," he said. "You look so fucking sexy in those heels."
I blushed, but now wasn't the time to be sheepish. He leaned over me. I squeezed his waist with my legs and held his neck in the crook of my elbows so I could keep his face to mine.
We rocked together forcefully but in sync. He swiftly slid off his boxer briefs and put my hand on him. He was even harder than before, harder than I had ever felt with Elliott. Pascal was roaring in triumph as he sat over me, himself in hand.
”
”
Jessica Tom (Food Whore)
“
So . . . " I began with some trepidation. "Did you have an okay time?" My mother is not once to mince words. She is not one to pretend. And I would never ask if something had been good. Good is more than I ever hope for with my mother.
"I guess it wasn't too terrible," she allowed.
In a world of broken glasses, in the world my mother inhabits, this is almost praise.
I thought back on all the laughter, the spring flowers, the hula-hooping, the girls. I didn't know what she was waiting for—a personal hallelujah chorus? Couldn't she just be happy for once? There wasn't much time left.
"You might want to try enjoying it," I told her. "This might be as good as it gets.
”
”
Tara Austen Weaver (Orchard House: How a Neglected Garden Taught One Family to Grow)
“
I said first and foremost we needed to find the right words for this peculiar occasion.
Then I chased words through the house, up and down hallways, until the neck of the word “noooooo” quivered between my hands like an unplucked chicken. After shaking the word and slamming it against the kitchen tile wall, I removed the “n” from the series of o’s. There. Much better. Oooooo pranced through the living room like hula hoop hips, happy to sport a permit.
”
”
Alina Stefanescu (Every Mask I Tried On: Short Stories)
“
Yo momma's so skinny she can hula hoop in a Fruit Loop. Yo momma's so skinny when she wore a yellow dress she looked like a No. 2 pencil.
”
”
THE CLOWN FACTORY (Yo Mama Jokes Encyclopedia.....The Worlds Funniest Yo Momma Jokes!: Try Not to Cry Your Eyes Out!)
“
hula hoop with a Cheerio.
”
”
Zack Zombie (Minecraft Books: Diary of a Minecraft Zombie Book 14: Cloudy with a Chance of Apocalypse)
“
Gram prayed for almost everybody while she watched CNN, but she always said there was a special hot place in the afterlife for certain kinds of criminals. Ava decided that adventure course designers should be added to that list and have a special place there, too. Preferably one where they had to climb through flaming Hula-Hoops on a tightrope. Blindfolded.
”
”
Kate Messner (All the Answers)
“
Yo momma's so skinny she can use a bracelet as a hula hoop. Yo momma's so thin that if she stands in front of a wall she looks like a crack. Yo momma's so skinny she can't sideways when taking a selfie. Yo momma's so skinny she played the part of the staff in the story of Moses. Yo momma's so skinny she hid behind a stick during a game of hide and seek. Yo momma's so skinny, her pants have one belt loop. Yo momma's so skinny when she is taking a shower, she has to run around to get wet. Yo momma's legs so skinny, she looks like a blow pop. Yo momma's so skinny she can hang glide off a dorito. Yo momma's so skinny I put a dime on her head and people mistook her for a Nail. Yo momma's so skinny, she can grate cheese on her ribs. Yo momma's so skinny, when I slapped her I got a paper cut! Yo momma's so skinny, if she had a sesame seed on her head, she'd look like a push pin. Yo momma's so skinny the Olsen Twins called and said they want their eating disorder back. Yo momma's so skinny, if she turned sideways and stuck out her tongue, she would look like a zipper. Yo momma's so skinny, she can see out the peephole with both eyes. Yo momma's so skinny, she could dive through a fence.
”
”
Tony Glare (Yo Mama Jokes: 201+ Best Yo Momma jokes! (Comedy, Jokes And Riddles, Humour, Jokes For Kids, Yo Mama Jokes))
“
Soon, all the children were chanting it. “No school! No school!
”
”
Nathan Reese Maher (Lights Out: Book 2)
“
Aloha Oukou. It looked like your soul was escaping so I put you in a tree.
”
”
Nathan Reese Maher (Lights Out: Book 2)
“
I’m afraid they’re not coming.” Abby said fearfully. “Our parents, our teachers – everyone! They’ve disappeared. That’s it. Lights out, Shelly. We’re on our own.
”
”
Nathan Reese Maher (Lights Out: Book 2)
“
Somehow her hula hoop had cut into the driver’s side door like the vehicle was made of cheese.
”
”
Nathan Reese Maher (Lights Out: Book 2)
“
She could spin it between her legs, skip with it, twirl it around her neck and transfer it from one arm to the other. Shelly hooped because she enjoyed it; it calmed her whenever she would have an argument or a bad day at school, and it also allowed her to think. Today, she needed to hoop more than ever.
”
”
Nathan Reese Maher (Lights Out: Book 2)
“
Shelly shook her head and made sure she had plenty of space so that she wouldn’t hit anything. As many times before, she kept the hoop close to her waist and then twirled it with small, tight bursts of speed. As the hoop gathered in momentum it started to give off a hum that soon took on a light blue illumination far brighter than the streetlamps. It was so bright, that it lit up the entire backyard.
”
”
Nathan Reese Maher (Lights Out: Book 2)
“
Lydia displays her right hand and instantly bathed the room with a blinding light. It lasted only a moment before it drew back into her palm.
“I can fix you if you’re ever broken.
”
”
Nathan Reese Maher
“
It’s no big deal. It’s kind of like a tattoo. It won’t hurt, not too much, just a few stitches and it’ll be all over. It’s really interesting how it’s done. You won’t believe where your soul hides. Go on, take a guess. Where do you think it is?
”
”
Nathan Reese Maher (Lights Out: Book 2)
“
In the 20th century- an age in thrall to the new- women turn out to be the newest thing of all; still packed up in cellophane, still folded up in the box, having played dead for the length of history. But now we are the new species!We are the tulip- America- the Hula Hoop- the moon shot- cocaine! Everything we do is going to be, implicitly,amazing.
”
”
Caitlin Moran (How to Be a Woman)
“
Arguing with ER nurses is like wiping your ass with a hula-hoop.
”
”
T.L Stowe (Intensive Care)
“
Problem-solving with some people is like wiping your butt with a Hula-Hoop.
”
”
Carol A. Elliott
“
They turned their attention to the wardrobe that held several Armani suits, all of them individually tailored to fit Humpty’s unique stature and held up on hangers shaped like hula hoops.
”
”
Jasper Fforde (The Big Over Easy (Nursery Crime, #1))
“
Dear Children, I am your dad. The father of all five of you pale creatures. Given how attractive and fertile your mother is, there may be more of you by the time you read this book. If you are reading this, I am probably dead. I would assume this because I can honestly foresee no other situation where you’d be interested in anything I’ve done. Right now, you are actually more interested in preventing me from doing things like working, sleeping, and smiling. I’m kidding, of course. Kind of. I love you with all of my heart, but you are probably the reason I’m dead. All right, you didn’t kill me. Your mother did. She kept getting pregnant! I don’t know how. Don’t think about it. It will give you the willies. At one point, I was afraid she got pregnant while she was pregnant. She was so fertile I didn’t even let her hold avocados. Anyway, this is a book all about what I observed being your dad when you were very young and I had some hair back in good old 2013. So why a book? Well, since you’ve come into my life, you’ve been a constant source of entertainment while simultaneously driving me insane. I felt I had to write down my observations about you in a book. And also for money, so you could eat and continue to break things. By the way, I’m sorry I yelled so much and did that loud clapping thing with my hands. I hated when my dad would do the loud clapping thing with his hands, so every time I do the loud clapping thing, it pains me in many ways. Most of the pain is because that loud clapping thing actually hurts my hands. You may be wondering how I wrote this book. From a very early age, you all instinctively knew I wasn’t that bright of a guy. Probably from all the times you had to correct me when I couldn’t read all the words in The Cat in the Hat. Hell, I find writing e-mails a chore. (Thank you, spell-check!) I wrote this book with the help of many people, but mostly your mother. Your mother is not only the only woman I’ve ever loved, but also the funniest person I know. When your mom was not in labor yelling at me, she made me laugh so hard. Love, Dad P.S. How did you get that hula hoop into that restaurant Easter 2011? Who’s Who in the Cast Jim Gaffigan (Dad).
”
”
Jim Gaffigan (Dad Is Fat)
“
Dove sono finiti gli yes dogs? e gli Hula-hoop? E le tartarughe Ninja? E la carta moschicida? E la democrazia?
”
”
Stefano Benni (Margherita Dolce Vita)
“
Like Barbra Streisand, who just opened her mouth and sang without ever having a singing lesson, it was hard for Brando to view something that came so naturally to him as a great gift, let alone genius. Praised for his acting versatility, he recoiled: “You can say the same thing about a hula hoop.
”
”
William J. Mann (The Contender: The Story of Marlon Brando)
“
Other examples of fads are hula hoops, mood rings, flip-up sunglasses, and umbrella-hats.
”
”
Everett M. Rogers (Diffusion of Innovations)
“
Your hula hoop will continue to spin successfully, when you unconditionally stay true to your emotional, mental and self-care needs first.
”
”
Nancy B. Urbach
“
My grandparents got creative to make space for three kids in their two-bedroom home. They took one of the bedrooms, my mom and aunt shared the other, and my uncle Bobby slept on the screened-in porch. Every single one of your neighbors would call Child Protective Services if you put a child on the porch these days, but this was the seventies, which was basically a lawless decade where children were concerned. Lawn Darts -- a game where one child would stand in a Hula-Hoop placed on the ground and another child would aim for the hoop by launching oversize, spiky metal darts at them -- hit its peak in this year for a reason: if your child was fed and moderately clothed, people turned a blind eye to your second-degree murder-adjacent shenanigans.
”
”
Danielle Henderson (The Ugly Cry)
“
From Mickey Mouse ears and Davy Crockett caps to hula hoops, Silly Putty, Slinky, and Barbie, Boomers became the first child generation to be target marketed by advertising agencies.
”
”
William Strauss (The Fourth Turning: What the Cycles of History Tell Us About America's Next Rendezvous with Destiny)
“
The hoop wants to go where the party is!
”
”
Eleanor Davis (You & a Bike & a Road)
“
I can’t sit for
long periods of time, so to compensate, I hula hoop. I read and hula hoop. Research
and hula hoop. Talk and hula hoop. You get the picture.
”
”
Harken Headers (Health & Not Screwing It Up)
“
Do 10 desk push-ups. Thank God for the use of your muscles and the health of your body. Go for a walking meeting instead of sitting in a conference room. Use this as a time of fellowship with others at work, like Daniel and his three faithful friends. Turn on some music and dance for a few minutes to your favorite song or worship music. Take a 2-minute recess. Use a hula hoop, jump rope, or Frisbee at work. Remind yourself that God loves when you smile and laugh and bring a cheerful and joyful heart to others. Your smile and laughter may be the one thing that brightens another’s day.
”
”
Rick Warren (The Daniel Plan: 40 Days to a Healthier Life)
“
Yo momma is so fat… when a bus hit her she said, “Who threw the pebble?” Yo momma is so fat… when she puts on her yellow rain coat and walks down the street people shout out “taxi”! Yo momma is so fat… she uses the interstate as a slip and slide. Yo momma is so fat… you could use her bellybutton as a wishing well. Yo momma is so fat… the government forced her to wear taillights and blinkers so no one else would get hurt. Yo momma is so fat… she supplies 99% of the world’s gas. Yo momma is so fat… when she goes to Taco Bell, they run for the border! Yo momma is so fat… she rolled out of bed and everybody thought there was an earthquake. Yo momma is so fat… when God said, “Let there be light,” he had to ask her to move out of the way. Yo momma is so fat… she has more chins than a Chinese phone book. Yo momma is so fat… she jumped in the air and got stuck. Yo momma is so fat… she's got to wake up in sections. Yo momma is so skinny… Yo momma is so skinny… she can hang glide with a Dorito! Yo momma is so skinny… she swallowed a meatball and thought she was pregnant. Yo momma is so skinny… she turned sideways and disappeared. Yo momma is so skinny… she hula hoops with a cheerio. Yo momma is so skinny… she has to run around in the shower just to get wet. Yo momma is so skinny… she don’t get wet when it rains. Yo momma is so skinny… her nipples touch. Yo momma is so skinny… she has to wear a belt with her spandex pants. Yo momma is so skinny… she can see through peepholes with both eyes. Yo momma is so skinny… she can dive through a chain-linked fence. Yo momma is so skinny… she uses cotton balls for pillows. Yo momma is so old… Yo momma is so old… she knew the Great Wall of China when it was only good! Yo momma is so old… that her bus pass is in hieroglyphics! Yo momma is so old… she was wearing a Jesus starter jacket! Yo momma is so old… her birth certificate is in Roman numerals. Yo momma is so old… she ran track with dinosaurs. Yo momma is so old… she knew Burger King while he was still a prince. Yo momma is so old… her birth certificate says expired on it. Yo momma is so old… she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook. Yo momma is so old… that when she was in school there was no history class. Yo momma is so old… her social security number is 1! Yo momma is so old… I told her to act her own age, and she died. Yo momma is so short… Yo momma is so short… she does backflips under the bed. Yo momma is so short … she can play handball on the curb. Yo momma is so short… she can use a sock for a sleeping bag. Yo momma is so short… she can tie her shoes while standing up. Yo momma is so short… she can sit on a dime and swing her legs. Yo momma is so short … she has to use a ladder to pick up a dime. Yo momma is so short … she poses for trophies! Yo momma is so short… she has a job as a teller at a piggy bank. Yo momma is so short… she has to use rice to roll her hair up. Yo momma is so short… she uses a toothpick as pool stick. Yo momma is so short… she can surf on a popsicle stick.
”
”
Various (151+ Yo Momma Jokes)
“
In 2008, Barack Obama was the electoral equivalent of the Hula Hoop; a political Pet Rock; a craze, a fad, an irrational gadget. The latest have-to-have, must-vote-for candidate.
”
”
Mondo Frazier (The Secret Life of Barack Hussein Obama)
“
Yo mama is so skinny… she hula hoops with a Cheerio.
”
”
Johnny B. Laughing (Yo Mama Jokes Bible: 350+ Funny & Hilarious Yo Mama Jokes)