Heroes Of Olympus Funny Quotes

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Um...is that thing tame?" Frank said. The horse whinnied angrily. "I don't think so," Percy guessed. "He just said, 'I will trample you to death, silly Chinese Canadian baby man'.
Rick Riordan (The Son of Neptune (The Heroes of Olympus, #2))
What about a compromise? I’ll kill them first, and if it turns out they were friendly, I’ll apologize.
Rick Riordan (The Lost Hero (The Heroes of Olympus, #1))
This is Leo. I'm the... What's my title? Am I like, admiral, or captain, or..." "Repair boy." "Very funny, Piper.
Rick Riordan (The Son of Neptune (The Heroes of Olympus, #2))
I have lightning and wind powers," Jason reminded him. "Piper can turn beautiful and charm people into giving her BMWs. You're no more a freak than we are. And, hey, maybe you can fly, too. Like jump off a building and yell 'Flame on!'" Leo snorted. "If I did that, you would see a flaming kid falling to his death, and I would be yelling something a little stronger than 'Flame on!
Rick Riordan (The Lost Hero (The Heroes of Olympus, #1))
Oh my god, I am so awesome!" Leo bellowed. "So awesome!" Echo yelled back. "He is funny," a nymph ventured. "And cute, in a scrawny way," another said. "Scrawny?" Leo asked. "Baby I invented scrawny. Scrawny is the new sizzling hot.
Rick Riordan (The Mark of Athena (The Heroes of Olympus, #3))
Very slowly using two fingers, Annabeth drew her dagger. Instead of dropping it, she tossed it as far as she could into the water. Octavian made a squeaking sound. "What was that for? I didn't say toss it! That could've been evidence. Or spoils of war!" Annabeth tried for a dumb-blonde smile, like: Oh, silly me. Nobody who knew her would have been fooled. But Octavian seemed to buy it. He huffed in exasperation. "You other two..." He pointed his blade a Hazel and Piper. "Put your weapons on the dock. No funny bus--" All around the Romans, Charleston Harbor erupted like a Las Vegas fountain putting on a show. When the wall of seawater subsided, the three Romans were in the bay, spluttering and frantically trying to stay afloat in their armor. Percy stood on the dock, holding Annabeth's dagger. "You dropped this," he said, totally poker-faced.
Rick Riordan (The Mark of Athena (The Heroes of Olympus, #3))
Hey!" said the guy in the video. "Greetings from your friends at Camp Half-Blood, et cetera. This is Leo. I'm the..." He looked off screen and yelled: "What's my title? Am I like admiral, or captain, or-" A girl's voice yelled back, "Repair boy." "Very funny, Piper," Leo grumbled. He turned back to the parchment screen. "So yeah, I'm...ah..supreme commander of the Argo II. Yeah, I like that! Anyway, we're gonna be sailing towards you in about, I dunno, an hour in this big mother warship. We'd appreciate it if you'd not, like, blow us out of the sky or anything. So okay! If you could tell the Romans that. See you soon. Yours in demigodishness, and all that. Peace out!
Rick Riordan (The Son of Neptune (The Heroes of Olympus, #2))
She held up her calloused, grimy fingers. Leo couldn't help thinking there was nothing hotter than a girl who didn't mind getting her hands dirty. But of course, that was just a general comment. Didn't apply to Calypso. Obviously.
Rick Riordan (The House of Hades (The Heroes of Olympus, #4))
Yours in demigodishness, and all that. Peace out!
Rick Riordan (The Son of Neptune (The Heroes of Olympus, #2))
Everyone thinks you've been kidnapped," he said. "We've been scouring the ship. When Coach Hedge finds out- oh, gods, you've been here all night?" "Frank!" Annabeth's ears were as red as strawberries. "We just came down here to talk. We fell asleep. Accidentally. That's it." "Kissed a couple of times," Percy said. Annabeth glared at him. "Not helping!
Rick Riordan (The Mark of Athena (The Heroes of Olympus, #3))
Yeah, well. I don’t try to be awesome. It just comes natural.
Rick Riordan (The Lost Hero (The Heroes of Olympus, #1))
We’ve all got weaknesses. Me, for instance. I’m tragically funny and good-looking.
Rick Riordan (The Mark of Athena (The Heroes of Olympus, #3))
Huh," Leo said. "Well, if you ever get off this island and want a job, let me know. You're not a total klutz." She smirked. "A job, eh?" Making things in your forge?" "Nah, we could start our own shop," Leo said, surprising himself. Starting a machine shop had always been one of his dreams, but he'd never told anyone about it. "Leo and Calypso's Garage: Auto Repair and Mechanical Monsters.
Rick Riordan (The House of Hades (The Heroes of Olympus, #4))
Leo,” Hazel gasped, “I can’t—my arms—” “Hazel,” he said. “Do you trust me?” “No!” “Me neither,” Leo admitted.
Rick Riordan (The Mark of Athena (The Heroes of Olympus, #3))
Her name badge read: Hello! My name is DIE, DEMIGOD SCUM!
Rick Riordan (The Son of Neptune (The Heroes of Olympus, #2))
Ceres wanted a united front in the plant war." "The plant war," Percy said. "You're going to arm all the little grapes with tiny assault rifles?
Rick Riordan (The Mark of Athena (The Heroes of Olympus, #3))
Leo took out a pen and autographed the arm of one of the nymphs. “Narcissus is a loser! He’s so weak, he can’t bench-press a Kleenex. He’s so lame, when you look up lame on Wikipedia, it’s got a picture of Narcissus—only the picture’s so ugly, no one ever checks it out.
Rick Riordan (The Mark of Athena (The Heroes of Olympus, #3))
Mussolini?” Leo frowned. “Wasn’t he like BFFs with Hitler?
Rick Riordan (The Mark of Athena (The Heroes of Olympus, #3))
Scrawny? Baby, I invented scrawny. Scrawny is the new sizzling hot.
Rick Riordan (The Mark of Athena (The Heroes of Olympus, #3))
When I was alive, I mean the first time, Mussolini was in charge. We were at war.” “Mussolini?” Leo frowned. “Wasn’t he like BFFs with Hitler?
Rick Riordan (The Mark of Athena (The Heroes of Olympus, #3))
When he woke, daylight was coming through the glass floor, and a boy's voice said, "Oh...You are in so much trouble.
Rick Riordan (The Mark of Athena (The Heroes of Olympus, #3))
Leo. Jason said, you're wierd. Yeah, you tell me that a lot. Leo grinned. But if you don't remember me, that means I can reuse all my old jokes. Come on!
Rick Riordan (The Lost Hero (The Heroes of Olympus, #1))
Percy looked at his friends. “I’m getting tired of this guy’s shirt.
Rick Riordan (The Mark of Athena (The Heroes of Olympus, #3))
He'd gone from sixteen to seventy-five in a matter of seconds, but the old-man smell happened instantly, like boom. Congratulations! You stink!
Rick Riordan (The Blood of Olympus (The Heroes of Olympus, #5))
I don't like you two going off on you won. Just remember: behave. If I hear about any funny business, I will ground you until the Styx freezes over.
Rick Riordan (The Mark of Athena (The Heroes of Olympus, #3))
Akmon pulled a ratchet wrench from the tool belt and spun it like a noisemaker. “Oh, very nice! I’m definitely keeping this! Thanks, Blue Bottom!” Blue Bottom? Leo glanced down. His pants had slipped around his ankles again, revealing his blue undershorts. “That’s it!” he shouted. “My stuff. Now. Or I’ll show you how funny a flaming dwarf is.” His hands caught fire.
Rick Riordan (The House of Hades (The Heroes of Olympus, #4))
June cackled with delight, muttering, "Whoops!" as a car almost killed them.
Rick Riordan (The Son of Neptune (The Heroes of Olympus, #2))
Jason hated being an old man.
Rick Riordan (The Blood of Olympus (The Heroes of Olympus, #5))
Very slowly, using only two fingers, Annabeth drew her dagger. Instead of dropping it, she tossed it as far as she could into the water. Octavian made a squeaking sound. “What was that for? I didn’t say toss it! That could’ve been evidence. Or spoils of war!” Annabeth tried for a dumb-blonde smile, like: Oh, silly me. Nobody who knew her would have been fooled. But Octavian seemed to buy it. He huffed in exasperation. “You other two…” He pointed his blade at Hazel and Piper. “Put your weapons on the dock. No funny bus—” All around the Romans, Charleston Harbor erupted like a Las Vegas fountain putting on a show. When the wall of seawater subsided, the three Romans were in the bay, spluttering and frantically trying to stay afloat in their armor. Percy stood on the dock, holding Annabeth’s dagger. “You dropped this,” he said, totally poker-faced. Annabeth threw her arms around him. “I love you!” “Guys,” Hazel interrupted. She had a little smile on her face. “We need to hurry.
Rick Riordan (The Mark of Athena (The Heroes of Olympus, #3))
Coach," Annabeth said, "it was an accident. We were talking, and we fell asleep." "Besides," Percy said, "you're starting to sound like Terminus." Hedge narrowed his eyes. "Is that an insult, Jackson? 'Cause I'll-I'll Terminus you, buddy!
Rick Riordan (The Mark of Athena (The Heroes of Olympus, #3))
Anyway... she knows a guy who knows a guy who knows a horse who knows a goat who knows another horse-
Rick Riordan (The Blood of Olympus (The Heroes of Olympus, #5))
It’s a training camp,” Leo realized. He looked at Aphros in awe. “You train heroes, the same way Chiron does?” Aphros nodded, a glint of pride in his eyes. “We have trained all the famous mer-heroes! Name a merhero, and we have trained him or her!” “Oh, sure,” Leo said. “Like…um, the Little Mermaid?
Rick Riordan (The Mark of Athena (The Heroes of Olympus, #3))
Your lifeline…oh, the burning stick. Right.” Leo resisted the urge to set his hand ablaze and yell: Bwah ha ha! The idea was sort of funny, but he wasn’t that cruel.
Rick Riordan (The Mark of Athena (The Heroes of Olympus, #3))
I keep forgetting about your amnesia. Heh. Forgetting about amnesia. That's funny.
Rick Riordan (The Lost Hero (The Heroes of Olympus, #1))
Like your zodiac sign? Percy asked. 'I'm a Leo. 'No, stupid,' Leo said. I'm a Leo. You're a Percy.
Rick Riordan (The Blood of Olympus (The Heroes of Olympus, #5))
It's not bad enough I am exiled? It's not bad enough you take away the few good heroes I'm allowed to meet? You think it's funny to send me this this ― this charbroiled runt of a boy to ruin my tranquility? This is NOT FUNNY! Take him back!
Rick Riordan (The House of Hades (The Heroes of Olympus, #4))
Percy yelled. "What's going- Gah! Shrimpzilla!
Rick Riordan (The Mark of Athena (The Heroes of Olympus, #3))
He is funny,” a nymph ventured. “And cute, in a scrawny way,” another said. “Scrawny?” Leo asked. “Baby, I invented scrawny. Scrawny is the new sizzling hot . And I GOT the scrawny. Narcissus? He’s such a loser even the Underworld didn’t want him. He couldn’t get the ghost girls to date him.” “Eww,” said a nymph. “Eww!” Echo agreed.
Rick Riordan (The Mark of Athena (The Heroes of Olympus, #3))
Oh, my dear! I’m afraid you’ve mistaken me for someone else! My name is Rhea Silvia. I was the mother to Romulus and Remus, thousands of years ago. But you’re so kind to think I look as young as the 1950s.
Rick Riordan (The Mark of Athena (The Heroes of Olympus, #3))
In the old legends, Arachne had gotten into trouble because of pride. She’d bragged about her tapestries being better than Athena’s, which had led to Mount Olympus’s first reality TV punishment program: 'So You Think You Can Weave Better Than a Goddess?' Arachne had lost in a big way.
Rick Riordan (The Mark of Athena (The Heroes of Olympus, #3))
Like your zodiac sign?' Percy asked. 'I'm a Leo.' 'No, stupid,' Leo said. 'I'm a Leo. You're a Percy.
Rick Riordan (The Blood of Olympus (The Heroes of Olympus, #5))
I apologize for apologizing." "Thank you.
Rick Riordan (The Lost Hero (The Heroes of Olympus, #1))
Yeah, you bet Romani.' Percy bared his forearm and showed them the brand he'd got at Camp Jupiter- the SPQR mark, with the trident of Neptune. 'You mix Greek and Roman, and you know what you get? You get BAM!' He stomped his foot, and the empousai scrambled back. One fell off the boulder where she'd been perched.
Rick Riordan (The House of Hades (The Heroes of Olympus, #4))
We were surrounded by thirty-foot-tall giants who were about to kill us. Then the sky opened up, and the gods descended." "Grandad," the kids said, "you are full of schist." "I'm not kidding!" he protested.
Rick Riordan (The Blood of Olympus (The Heroes of Olympus, #5))
Annabeth dies, trying to keep her boyfriend, the Son of Poseidon, from drowning.
Rick Riordan (The House of Hades (The Heroes of Olympus, #4))
SWEEP!' THe Titan grinned with delight and did a victory dance.'Sweep, sweep, sweep!
Rick Riordan (The House of Hades (The Heroes of Olympus, #4))
The situation was so pathetically sad, it was almost funny.
Rick Riordan (The House of Hades (Heroes of Olympus, #4))
Calypso: "You think it's funny to send me this...this charbroiled runt of a boy to ruin my tranquility? This is NOT FUNNY! take him back!" Leo: "Hey, sunshine, I'm right here you know..." Calypso: "Do NOT call me sunshine!
Rick Riordan (The House of Hades (The Heroes of Olympus, #4))
Otis! Will you PLEASE stop killing me!
Rick Riordan (The Mark of Athena (The Heroes of Olympus, #3))
Days ago, when she faced Khione on the Argo II, Piper had started talking without thinking, following her heart no matter what her brain said. Now she did the same thing. She moved in front of the statue and faced the giant, though the rational part of her screamed: RUN, YOU IDIOT!
Rick Riordan (The Blood of Olympus (The Heroes of Olympus, #5))
Us is my favorite people.
Rick Riordan (The House of Hades (The Heroes of Olympus, #4))
standing next to him. “Your lifeline…oh, the burning stick. Right.” Leo resisted the urge to set his hand ablaze and yell: Bwah ha ha! The idea was sort of funny, but he wasn’t that cruel.
Rick Riordan (The Mark of Athena (The Heroes of Olympus, #3))
Leo laughed. “I keep forgetting about your amnesia. Heh. Forgetting about amnesia. That’s funny. But yeah, her dad’s Tristan McLean.” “Uh—Sorry, what was he in?” “It doesn’t matter,” Piper said quickly.
Rick Riordan (The Lost Hero (The Heroes of Olympus, #1))
Usually I give demigods something simple like a shopping trip, singing a funny song, that sort of thing. After all those labors I had to complete for my evil cousin Eurystheus, well...I don't want to be that guy, you know?
Rick Riordan (The Mark of Athena (The Heroes of Olympus, #3))
Okay," Percy said. " Well, just don't get knocked unconscious." "Shut up, Jackson.
Rick Riordan (The Blood of Olympus (The Heroes of Olympus, #5))
Normally ghosts didn't scare him. (Assuming, of course, Gaea hadn't encased them in shells of stone and turned them into killing machines. That had been a new one for him.)
Rick Riordan (The Blood of Olympus (The Heroes of Olympus, #5))
The others were fighting for their lives against nose hair.
Rick Riordan (The Mark of Athena (The Heroes of Olympus, #3))
I try very hard to be annoying! Don't insult my ability to annoy!
Rick Riordan
We’ve all got weaknesses,” he said. “Me, for instance. I’m tragically funny and good-looking.
Rick Riordan (The Mark of Athena (The Heroes of Olympus, #3))
When the thing did not explode, Polybotes bent down cautiously and picked it up. He roared in outrage. "A Ding Dong? You dare insult me with a Ding Dong?
Rick Riordan (The Son of Neptune (The Heroes of Olympus, #2))
Greetings from your friends at Camp Half-Blood, et cetera. This is Leo. I’m the…” He looked off screen and yelled: “What’s my title? Am I like admiral, or captain, or—” A girl’s voice yelled back, “Repair boy.” “Very funny, Piper,” Leo grumbled. He turned back to the parchment screen. “So yeah, I’m…ah…supreme commander of the Argo II. Yeah, I like that! Anyway, we’re gonna be sailing toward you in about, I dunno, an hour in this big mother warship. We’d appreciate it if you’d not, like, blow us out of the sky or anything. So okay! If you could tell the Romans that. See you soon. Yours in demigodishness, and all that. Peace out.” The parchment turned blank.
Rick Riordan (The Son of Neptune (The Heroes of Olympus, #2))
A godsend,” she repeated. Funny choice of words.
Rick Riordan (The Lost Hero (The Heroes of Olympus, #1))
She talked to me earlier,” Frank said abruptly. “Hazel told me you figured out about my lifeline.” Leo stirred. He’d almost forgotten Frank was standing next to him. “Your lifeline…oh, the burning stick. Right.” Leo resisted the urge to set his hand ablaze and yell: Bwah ha ha! The idea was sort of funny, but he wasn’t that cruel.
Rick Riordan (The Mark of Athena (The Heroes of Olympus, #3))
Just like Black Bottom,” Passalos agreed. “Black Bottom?” Leo resisted the urge to jump at the dwarfs’ feet again. He was sure Passalos was going to ruin the Archimedes sphere any second now. “Yes, you know.” Akmon grinned. “Hercules. We called him Black Bottom because he used to go around without clothes. He got so tan that his backside, well—” “At least he had a sense of humor!” Passalos said. “He was going to kill us when we stole from him, but he let us go because he liked our jokes. Not like you two. Grumpy, grumpy!” “Hey, I’ve got a sense of humor,” Leo snarled. “Give me back our stuff, and I’ll tell you a joke with a good punch line.” “Nice try!” Akmon pulled a ratchet wrench from the tool belt and spun it like a noisemaker. “Oh, very nice! I’m definitely keeping this! Thanks, Blue Bottom!” Blue Bottom? Leo glanced down. His pants had slipped around his ankles again, revealing his blue undershorts. “That’s it!” he shouted. “My stuff. Now. Or I’ll show you how funny a flaming dwarf is.
Rick Riordan (The House of Hades (Heroes of Olympus, #4))
Jason summoned his golden lance. He brandished it over his head and yelled, “Giant!” Which sounded pretty good, and a lot more confident than Leo could’ve managed. He was thinking more along the lines of, “We are pathetic ants! Don’t kill us!” Enceladus stopped chanting at the flames. He turned toward them and grinned, revealing fangs like a saber-toothed tiger’s. “Well,” the giant rumbled. “What a nice surprise.” Leo didn’t like the sound of that. His hand closed on his windup gadget. He stepped sideways, edging his way toward the bulldozer. Coach Hedge shouted, “Let the movie star go, you big ugly cupcake! Or I’m gonna plant my hoof right up your—” “Coach,” Jason said. “Shut up.” Enceladus roared with laughter. “I’ve forgotten how funny satyrs are. When we rule the world, I think I’ll keep your kind around. You can entertain me while I eat all the other mortals.” “Is that a compliment?” Hedge frowned at Leo. “I don’t think that was a compliment.
Rick Riordan (The Lost Hero (The Heroes of Olympus, #1))
My stuff. Now. Or I'll sow you how funny a flaming dwarf is." His hands caught fire. "Now we're talking." Jason thrust his sword into the sky. Dark clouds began to gather over the piazza. Thunder boomed
Rick Riordan (The House of Hades (The Heroes of Olympus, #4))
Very slowly using two fingers, Annabeth drew her dagger. Instead of dropping it, she tossed it as far as she could into the water. Octavian made a squeaking sound. "What was that for? I didn't say toss it! That could've been evidence. Or spoils of war!" Annabeth tried for a dumb-blonde smile, like: Oh, silly me. Nobody who knew her would have been fooled. But Octavian seemed to buy it. He huffed in exasperation. "You other two..." He pointed his blade a Hazel and Piper. "Put your weapons on the dock. No funny bus--" All around the Romans, Charleston Harbor erupted like a Las Vegas fountain putting on a show. When the wall of seawater subsided, the three Romans were in the bay, spluttering and frantically trying to stay afloat in their armor. Percy stood on the dock, holding Annabeth's dagger. "You dropped this," he said, totally poker-faced. -Heroes of Olympus
Rick Riordan
Oh, I’m sorry!” he said. “I just fell out of the sky. I constructed a helicopter in midair, burst into flames halfway down, crash-landed and barely survived. But by all means – let’s talk about your dining table!” He snatched up a half-melted goblet. “Who puts a dining table on the beach where innocent demigods can crash into it? Who does that?” The girl clenched her fists. Leo was pretty sure she was going to march down the crater and punch him in the face. Instead she looked up at the sky. “REALLY?” she screamed at the empty blue. “You want to make my curse even worse? Zeus! Hephaestus! Hermes! Have you no shame?” “Uh …” Leo noticed that she’d just picked three gods to blame, and one of them was his dad. He figured that wasn’t a good sign. “I doubt they’re listening. You know, the whole split-personality thing—” “Show yourself!” the girl yelled at the sky, completely ignoring Leo. “It’s not bad enough I am exiled? It’s not bad enough you take away the few good heroes I’m allowed to meet? You think it’s funny to send me this—this charbroiled runt of a boy to ruin my tranquillity? This is NOT FUNNY! Take him back!” “Hey, Sunshine,” Leo said. “I’m right here, you know.” She growled like a cornered animal. “Do not call me Sunshine! Get out of that hole and come with me now so I can get you off my island!” “Well, since you asked so nicely …” Leo didn’t know what the crazy girl was so worked up about, but he didn’t really care. If she could help him leave this island, that was totally fine by him. He clutched his charred sphere and climbed out of the crater. When he reached the top, the girl was already marching down the shoreline. He jogged to catch up. She gestured in disgust at the burning wreckage. “This was a pristine beach! Look at it now.” “Yeah, my bad,” Leo muttered. “I should’ve crashed on one of the other islands. Oh, wait – there aren’t any!” She snarled and kept walking along the edge of the water.
Rick Riordan (The House of Hades (The Heroes of Olympus, #4))
Leo and Calypso’s Garage: Auto Repair and Mechanical Monsters.” “Fresh fruits and vegetables,” Calypso offered. “Cider and stew,” Leo added. “We could even provide entertainment. You could sing and I could, like, randomly burst into flames.” Calypso laughed—a clear, happy sound that made Leo’s heart go ka-bump. “See,” he said, “I’m funny.” She managed to kill her smile. “You are not funny. Now, get back to work, or no cider and stew.” “Yes, ma’am,” he said.
Rick Riordan (The House of Hades (Heroes of Olympus, #4))
You are amazing," she said. "And you make a very handsome elephant.
Rick Riordan (The Son of Neptune (The Heroes of Olympus, #2))
Oh, come on. Since when have the Fates granted anyone anything when they are stressing out about it?
Ashli Edwards (Athena: Goddess of Heroes (Olympus Earthed #1))
but there was nothing funny about his sword. Jason figured one hit from that thing would probably turn him into a Popsicle. Then
Rick Riordan (The Lost Hero (The Heroes of Olympus, #1))
The situation was so pathetically sad, it was almost funny
Rick Riordan (The House of Hades (The Heroes of Olympus, #4))
So what’s the plan?” Carter asked. “Maybe a flanking manoeuvre?” “Or,” Annabeth said, “we could try a diversionary –“ “Charge!” Sadie barrelled into the clearing, her staff in one hand and her Greek scroll in the other. I glanced at Annabeth. “Your new friend is awesome.
Rick Riordan (Demigods & Magicians: Percy and Annabeth Meet the Kanes & The Heroes of Olympus the Demigod Diaries 2 Books Collection Set)