Helper Bible Quotes

Call it the Human Mission-to be all and do all God sent us here to do. And notice-the mission to be fruitful and conquer and hold sway is given both to Adam and to Eve. 'And God said to them...' Eve is standing right there when God gives the world over to us. She has a vital role to play; she is a partner in this great adventure. All that human beings were intended to do here on earth-all the creativity and exploration, all the battle and rescue and nurture-we were intended to do together. In fact, not only is Eve needed, but she is desperately needed. When God creates Eve, he calls her an ezer kenegdo. 'It is not good for the man to be alone, I shall make him [an ezer kenegdo]' (Gen. 2:18 Alter). Hebrew scholar Robert Alter, who has spent years translating the book of Genesis, says that this phrase is 'notoriously difficult to translate.' The various attempts we have in English are "helper" or "companion" or the notorious "help meet." Why are these translations so incredibly wimpy, boring, flat...disappointing? What is a help meet, anyway? What little girl dances through the house singing "One day I shall be a help meet?" Companion? A dog can be a companion. Helper? Sounds like Hamburger Helper. Alter is getting close when he translates it "sustainer beside him" The word ezer is used only twenty other places in the entire Old Testament. And in every other instance the person being described is God himself, when you need him to come through for you desperately.

Then the LORD God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.

PSA54.4 Behold, God is mine helper: the Lord is with them that uphold my soul.

HEB13.6 So that we may boldly say, The Lord is my helper, and I will not fear what man shall do unto me.

The Lord is my helper, and I will not fear what man shall do unto me.

18Then the LORD God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone;  nI will make him a helper fit for [5] him.

But you do see, for you  o note mischief and vexation,         that you may take it into your hands;     to you the helpless  p commits himself;         you have been  q the helper of the fatherless.

5Keep your life  a free from love of money, and  b be content with what you have, for he has said,  c “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” 6So we can confidently say,      d “The Lord is my helper;          e I will not fear;

But when the Helper comes, whom I will send to you from the Father, the Spirit of truth, who proceeds from the Father, he will bear witness about me. And you also will bear witness, because you have been with me from the beginning.

Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” So we can confidently say,     “The Lord is my helper;         I will not fear;     what can man do to me?

But for Adam no suitable helper was found. So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep by holding a chloroform-soaked hankie to his face; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and then closed up the place with flesh.

7Nevertheless, I tell you the truth: it is to your advantage that I go away, for  h if I do not go away,  i the Helper will not come to you. But  j if  k I go,  l I will send him to you. 8 m And when he comes, he will  n convict the world concerning sin and righteousness and judgment: 9concerning sin,  o because they do not believe in me;

15 b“If you love me, you will  ckeep my commandments. 16And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another  dHelper, [6] to be with you forever, 17even  ethe Spirit of truth,  fwhom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees him nor knows him. You know him, for he dwells with you and  gwill be [7] in you. 18“I will not leave you as orphans;  hI will come to you.

Dad and Mom had a lesbian couple living in our chalet for several years in the early 1970s. One was Dad’s secretary, the other Mom’s helper. They shared a room. Fortunately, my parents were hypocritical and acted as if, no matter their official religious absolutes, the higher call was to ignore what the Bible said in favor of what they hoped it meant. Thus, without ever saying it, it seems to me my parents were affirming that the Bible should be read as if Jesus was the only lens through which to see God. The result was that Francis and Edith Schaeffer were nicer than their official theology.

Dear Friend: Are you a Christian? What have you done to-day for Christ? Are the friends with whom you have been talking traveling toward the New Jerusalem? Did you compare notes with them as to how you were all prospering on the way? Is that stranger by your side a fellow-pilgrim? Did you ask him if he would be? Have you been careful to recommend the religion of Jesus Christ by your words, by your acts, by your looks, this day? If danger comes to you, have you this day asked Christ to be your helper? If death comes to you this night, are you prepared to give up your account? What would your record of this last day be? A blank? What! Have you done nothing for the Master? Then what have you done against Him? Nothing? Nay, verily! Is not the Bible doctrine, 'He that is not for me is against me?'  "Remember that every neglected opportunity, every idle word, every wrong thought of yours has been written down this day. You can not take back the thoughts or words; you can not recall the opportunity. This day, with all its mistakes, and blots, and mars, you can never live over again. It must go up to the judgment just as it is. Have you begged the blood of Jesus to be spread over it all? Have you resolved that no other day shall witness a repeatal of the same mistakes? Have you resolved in your own strength or in His?

Arise, O LORD; O God, lift up your hand;         forget not the afflicted.     13 Why does the wicked renounce God         and say in his heart, “You will not call to account”?     14 But you do see, for you note mischief and vexation,         that you may take it into your hands;     to you the helpless commits himself;         you have been the helper of the fatherless.     15 Break the arm of the wicked and evildoer;         call his wickedness to account till you find none.     16 The LORD is king forever and ever;         the nations perish from his land.     17 O LORD, you hear the desire of the afflicted;         you will strengthen their heart; you will incline your ear     18 to do justice to the fatherless and the oppressed,         so that man who is of the earth may strike terror no more.

So we can say with confidence,   “The LORD is my helper,        so I will have no fear.        What can mere people do to me?”[*]

Good News of Jesus Christ, the Son of God, 2 begins with the words of the early preachers: “Listen! I will send My helper to carry the news ahead of you. He will make the way ready. 3 His voice calls out in the desert, ‘Make the way ready for the Lord. Make the road straight for Him!’ ” (Isaiah 40:3)

Psalm 119:57–64 The LORD is my portion; I have promised to keep Your words. I have sought Your favor with all my heart. Psalm 119:57–58 How would you fill in this blank: The Lord is my __________. Various characters in the Bible answered that question in different ways: Moses said, “The LORD is my strength and my song. . . . The LORD is my banner” (Exod. 15:2; 17:15). The psalmist said, “The LORD is my refuge” (Ps. 94:22). Isaiah said, “God is my salvation” (Isa. 12:2). Jeremiah wrote, “The LORD is my portion” (Lam. 3:24). The writer of Hebrews said, “The Lord is my helper” (Heb. 13:6). David said, “The LORD is my rock, my fortress, and my deliverer, my God, my mountain where I seek refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold ” (Ps. 18:2). And we all say, “The LORD is my shepherd ” (Ps. 23:1). The old-time Christians had a phrase for all this. When we seek Him with all our hearts, Jesus becomes our “all-in-all.” He fills all our lives, meets all our needs, and claims all our affections. Jesus only, Jesus ever, Jesus all in all we sing, Savior, Sanctifier, and Healer, Glorious Lord and coming King. —A. B. Simpson

Even though I realized it was by God’s grace I had become His child, I had somehow come to think that my continued acceptance with God was based on me doing everything perfectly. I also realized that I had been trying to live the Christian life in my own strength. I knew God loved me enough to save me, but as I struggled with my flesh and the world, sometimes failing, I saw Him as angry, judgmental, and disappointed in me. Through this misperception, I saw Him not as my loving Father and Helper but as a mere faultfinder.

There are two places in the Bible that hint at the Rephaim being warrior kings brought down to Sheol in similar language to the Ugaritic notion of the Rephaim warrior kings in the underworld:   Is. 14:9 Sheol beneath is stirred up to meet you when you come; it rouses the shades [The Hebrew word Rephaim] to greet you, all who were leaders of the earth; it raises from their thrones all who were kings of the nations.   Ezek. 32:21 They shall fall amid those who are slain by the sword… The mighty chiefs [Rephaim] shall speak of them, with their helpers, out of the midst of Sheol: “They have come down, they lie still, the uncircumcised, slain by the sword.

But You Yourself have seen trouble and grief, observing it in order to take the matter into Your hands.  The helpless entrusts himself to You; You are a helper of the fatherless. 

Sing praises to the LORD, O you  y his saints,         and  z give thanks to his holy name. [2] 5     a For his anger is but for a moment,         and  b his favor is for a lifetime. [3]      c Weeping may tarry for the night,         but  d joy comes with the morning.     6[†] As for me, I said in my  e prosperity,         “I shall never be  f moved.” 7    By your favor, O LORD,         you made my  g mountain stand strong;     you  h hid your face;         I was  i dismayed.     8[†] To you, O LORD, I cry,         and  j to the Lord I plead for mercy: 9    “What profit is there in my death, [4]         if I go down to the pit? [5]     Will  k the dust praise you?         Will it tell of your faithfulness? 10     l Hear, O LORD, and be merciful to me!         O LORD, be my helper!

5Let your life be free from love of money but be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never forsake you or abandon you.” 6Thus we may say with confidence: “The Lord is my helper, [and] I will not be afraid. What can anyone do to me?

All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work (2 Timothy 3:16-17). Sickness, loss, tragedy, heartache, and destruction are not listed as being profitable that we may be equipped for every good work. Read it again. Those experiences are not listed. Our instruction in righteousness is not accomplished through sickness. But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name, He will teach you all things… (John 14:26). Is sickness a teacher that God has sent? Are the Word and the Spirit inadequate teachers for your life? Why isn’t sickness mentioned as one of our teachers in the New Covenant? When believers adopt the idea that God teaches us through sickness, tragedy, loss and failure, they are actually declaring that they have no need for the Holy Spirit or the Bible, or that the Word and the Spirit are inadequate to accomplish God’s will in our lives.

God is my helper.

. 5[✞] Keep your life a free from love of money, and b be content with what you have, for he has said, c “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” 6[✞] So we can confidently say, d “The Lord is my helper; e I will not fear; what can man do to me?

The LORD is my helper; I will not fear. What can man do to me?”a

Mr. John Eliot of Roxbury, had begun to teach Christianity to some Indians about 1646, and Mr. Winslow, their agent in England, obtained a charter from the Parliament in 1649, to incorporate a society to promote that work; and Eliot learned the Indian language, and translated the Bible into it, which passed one edition in 1664, and another in 1684, with some other books. Mr. Daniel Gookin, a magistrate and a major-general in their government, was also his helper in the affair; and they had formed twelve praying societies among the Indians before this war,

This is hard, because the church is made up of sinners. But God continually pours out grace to help us heal wounds, bridge gaps, and restore brokenness, just like with Paul and John Mark. He’s committed to the unity of His church, so He sends the Spirit as our Helper in aiming for unity and truth.

The Witch immediately grabs Sunshine with her claws. “I occupy this home! This house is under a new regime... it's Beelzebub's territory!” “Guess again,” Hope says, pointing to the girls praying. “We reclaim this house under a new leadership!” “No!! Wait!! No!” The witch screams as Helpers come in to drag her away.

Hi Celestials Here is a Topic Why do some guys derive joy in spending huge amount of money buying free drinks, for their friends, but can't help or support them? A very sensitive question I couldn't ignore. I've seen this questions in couple of places and now it has been directed specifically to me. I 'm sure you must have come across this scenario or probably been a victim. Someone you've known for long, a childhood friend or colleague hits the jackpot. He excitedly called for celebration, spending a fortune on foods and drinks. Intact he's ready to close down the restaurant that night, but behind close doors, you've been asking him for a little financial assistance to boost your business or start up something, but he keeps giving excuses. After having so much thoughts about this, I only came up with one conclusion. And that is the fact life is partly competition, at least that is how some folks views it. The bitter truth is that Nobody wants you to be greater than they are except your parents. Everybody wants to be ahead. I call them dream wreckers. They would rather watch your dream die, than assist you. They prefer receiving accolades in public for feeding the whole community with foods and beer, than changing someone's destiny. Because it boost their Ego. Depend on them at your own peril. That's why bible said that you need to be pitied if you still put your hopes on mere mortal. You will be shocked by the high level of disappointment. Just be focused, persistent, and do the little you within your reach, then pray for grace. When the time comes, your destiny helper will locate you, and you will know he's the one because he won't feel burdened assisting you.

Do you thank God for the many blessings which you are constantly receiving from Him-----from your very heart, with true humility, believing yourself to be so miserable that you would fall into every sin, and even into Hell itself, if God did not come to your help? "Unless the Lord had been my helper, my soul had almost dwelt in Hell." (Ps. xciii, 17)

What is particularly fascinating, however, is that the word never denotes subordination in the Old Testament. In fact, the word translated “helper” (Hebrew: ezer) is used predominantly in the Bible for God helping his people.

Jesus Christ, the living Word of God, is our Savior and Redeemer. Through the Bible, God speaks to us, guiding our conscience, which is the Holy Spirit - our Comforter, Counselor, Helper, Intercessor, Advocate, and Strengthener. The Word of God brings us wisdom, a clear conscience, peace, and security in the face of danger, delivering us from evil, healing our wounds, and protecting us from harm. While the world around us may fade and pass away, God's Word remains forever, unwavering and unchanging, a rock-solid foundation for our lives. As the Bible says, 'Heaven and earth will pass away, but God's Word will not pass away. Grass may wither, and flowers may fade, but the Word of our God stands forever'.

14You see; yes, you note trouble and vexation, that you may take it into your hands; the hapless commits himself to you; you have been the helper of the fatherless.

You just have to open your heart to him. John 14:26 says, the Holy Spirit is our Helper, Teacher and will help us remember what He has said. But you must read the Bible to know what He has said,” she finished.

for He has said, “I WILL NEVER [under any circumstances] DESERT YOU [nor give you up nor leave you without support, nor will I in any degree leave you helpless], NOR WILL I FORSAKE or LET YOU DOWN or RELAX MY HOLD ON YOU [assuredly not]!” [Josh 1:5] 6So we take comfort and are encouraged and confidently say, “THE LORD IS MY HELPER [in time of need], I WILL NOT BE AFRAID. WHAT WILL MAN DO TO ME?” [Ps 27:1; 118:6]

(Prov. 31:10–11) This woman is a role model. She is a high-capacity woman, very capable as “a helper fit for him.” In fact, the phrase “an excellent wife” in verse 10 can be translated more literally “a woman of strength.” The Septuagint, the ancient Greek translation of the Hebrew Bible, even renders the phrase as “a manly woman.” This iconic woman is strong. How so? This poem goes on to say that she works hard, she makes money, she is kind to the poor, she is fearless about the future, she enhances her husband’s reputation, she speaks with wisdom, plus more. Verse 17 sums it up: “She

{10:16} In fact, those who were with Maccabeus, petitioning the Lord through prayers to be their helper, made a forceful attack upon the fortresses of the Idumeans.   {10:17} And, persevering with much force, they obtained the places, killing those they met, and cutting down in all no less than twenty thousand.   {10:18} Yet certain ones,

I am afflicted and needy;the Lord thinks of me.You are my helper and my deliverer;my God, do not delay.

But I do know that everything happens for a purpose. These things, they make us stronger, emotionally. And when we have a God to run to that loves us, it helps spiritually. The bible says that Jesus is our comforter and our helper. The memories of our past will always be there, but with Jesus on our side, your past won't hold you down. And right now, your past is keeping you down.

In other words, the animals are not similar to the man — in the way that the woman will be. The animals are certainly different from the man, but that is not what the story is interested in. It is pursuing not differences but someone similar to the man, someone similar enough to be “his partner” (in contrast to the animals, who are not sufficiently similar), and someone strong enough to be his “helper.

Throughout history the church has always zeroed in on “ezer” (pronouncedazer with a long sounding ¯a, as in razor) as the preFall piece of Eve that defines a woman’s role and remained intact despite her sin. God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper [ezer] suitable for him” (Genesis 2:18). The meaning of ezer, however, was diminished when translators rendered it “helpmeet” and restricted it to marriage.4 A woman’s mission centered on home and family — vital spheres of ministry to be sure, but only a slice of the vast mission God originally cast by calling women to rule and subdue the earth. Thinking regarding the ezer began to change when scholars pointed out that the word ezer is used most often (sixteen of twenty-one occurrences) in the Old Testament to refer to God5 as Israel’s helper in times of trouble. That’s when ezer was upgraded to “strong helper,” leaving Christians debating among themselves over the meaning of “strong” and whether this affects a woman’s rank with respect to the man. Further research indicates ezer is a powerful Hebrew military word whose significance we have barely begun to unpack.6 The ezer is a warrior, and this has far-reaching implications for women, not only

Be satisfied with what you have, for He Himself has said, I will never leave you or forsake you.6 Therefore, we may boldly say: The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?

The enemy is so securely entrenched within us that he can never be driven out while we are in this body: But although we are closely followed, and often in fierce conflict, we have an Almighty helper, Jesus, the Captain of our salvation, who is always with us and who assures us that we shall eventually be more than conquerors through Him.

joyful are those who have the God of Israel[*] as their helper, whose hope is in the LORD their God.

You are my helper and my savior; O LORD,

with the semantics from general context, it can be seen that “helper” is not synonymous to “slave.” If a person were to state that he/she “helped” a friend with his/her homework, would that mean that the helper is insignificant? Of course not. When a person helps another person with homework, he/she is actually the one who consolidates the understanding of the person who receives their help, which does oppose the claim that “helpers” are inferiors. In fact, in Psalms 54:4 and John 14:26, God and the Holy Spirit are referred to as “helpers,” which was the same word Eve was referred to: “See, God is my helper. The Lord is the one who keeps my soul alive.” (Psalms 54:4) “But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he will teach you all things and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you.” (John 14:26)

Adam was not applying the action of naming to exert and apply authority over the beings he named; he did it for the purpose of finding a helper. When Adam named Eve, therefore, he was not exerting authority over her, since naming had no impact on Adam’s authority over the animals.

Psalm 108 (109) 1For the End; a psalm by David.†ω O God, do not pass over my praise in silence, 2 For the mouth of the sinner and the mouth of the deceitful man opened against me; They spoke against me with a deceitful tongue; 3 And they surrounded me with words of hatred, And warred against me without cause. 4 Instead of loving me, they falsely accused me, But I continued to pray; 5 So they repaid me evil for good, And hatred for my love. 6 Set a sinner over him, And let the devil stand at his right hand. 7 And when he is judged, may he go forth condemned, And let his prayer become sin. 8 Let his days be very few, And may a different man receive his office; 9 Let his children be fatherless And his wife a widow; 10 Let his children wander about and be beggars; Let them be cast out of their houses. 11 Let the creditor search out whatever possessions he has; Let strangers plunder his labors; 12 Let there be no helper for him, Nor a compassionate one for his fatherless children; 13 Let his children be utterly destroyed; In a single generation, let his name be blotted out. 14 May the lawlessness of his fathers be remembered before the Lord, And may the sin of his mother not be blotted out; 15 Let them be continually before the Lord, And may the remembrance of them be utterly destroyed from the earth, 16 Because he did not remember to show mercy, But persecuted a poor and needy man, And one pierced to the heart, that he might kill him. 17 And he loved cursing, and it came to him, And he did not desire blessing, so it shall be far from him. 18 So he clothed himself with cursing like a garment, And it entered like water into his bowels And like oil into his bones; 19 Let it be for him like a garment that clothes him, And like a belt that girds him continually. 20 This is the work of those who falsely accuse me before the Lord, And of those who speak evil things against my soul. 21 But You, O Lord, O Lord, deal mercifully with me for Your name's sake, For Your mercy is good. 22 Save me, for I am poor and needy, And my heart is troubled within me. 23 I was removed like a shadow when it declines; I was shaken off like the locusts. 24 My knees were weak from fasting, And my flesh was changed because of the oil. 25 And I became an object of reproach to them; They saw me; they shook their heads. 26 Help me, O Lord my God; Save me according to Your mercy; 27 Then let them know this is Your hand, And You, O Lord, did this. 28 They themselves shall curse, but You shall bless; Let those who rise up against me be put to shame, But let Your servant be glad. 29 Let those who falsely accuse me be clothed with shame, And let them be covered with their dishonor like a double cloak. 30 I will give thanks to the Lord abundantly with my mouth, And in the midst of many I will praise Him, 31 Because He stood at the right hand of a poor man, To save me from those who persecute my soul.

you have been  q the helper of the fatherless.

Adam was the representative head and archetype for the whole human race. But remember, although Eve was given a subordinate role, she remained Adam's spiritual and intellectual equal. She was his helper, neither his supervisor nor his slave. By calling her Adam's helper, Scripture stresses the mutuality and the complementary nature of the partnership. Eve was in no way inferior to her husband, but she was to her husband, but she was nonetheless given a role that was subordinate to his leadership.

Mistakes to Avoid This story might tempt us to read between the lines, inserting plot details or expanding on the personalities of the characters. We must resist this inclination, however, because our focus needs to be the authoritative message of the text. We cannot read between the lines and then use our interpretive readings as if they carry the authoritative teaching of the text. If the author is brief on plot details and character development, it is advisable to assume that he omits these so we can concentrate on other more important elements. The author is not trying to warn us against family jealousies or to teach us humility. These may be good and useful lessons, but the text gives no indication that we should focus on these or that it offers authoritative teaching on these issues. We cannot use this story to talk about being helpers (Joseph with his father or with Potiphar), nor can we use this portion of the Joseph story to talk about trusting God when life goes wrong. We are not told whether Joseph was trusting God or not, though he resisted temptation and interpreted dreams, both in God’s name. The text tells us the Lord was with him, but it does not say Joseph knew or trusted that the Lord was with him.

Coleraine was favoured with special visitations of power and blessing. In one of the schools a boy came under conviction so much that the teacher sent him home with an older boy who had been converted only the previous day. On the way home they turned into an empty house to pray together. The troubled boy was soon rejoicing and said, “I must go back and tell the teacher.” With a beaming face he told him, “O sir I am so happy I have the Lord Jesus in my heart.” The whole class was affected as a result and boy after boy rose and silently left the room. When the teacher went to investigate he found them ranged around the playground wall on their knees. Silent prayer soon gave way to loud cries and prayers, which carried to the girls’ school on the first floor. Immediately the girls fell on their knees and wept. The commotion carried into the street; neighbors and passers-by came flocking in. As soon as they crossed the threshold, they all came under the same convicting power. Ministers came to help, men of prayer were summoned, and the day was spent in leading young and old to saving faith in Christ. On June 7th a great open-air meeting was held in Coleraine where converts testified. Such large crowds gathered that they were divided into several groups, each to be addressed by different ministers. God’s presence was an awesome reality. Many came under deep conviction. Many prostrations occurred. It continued throughout the following day and in the evening the market was crowded. The gospel was preached and again many sank down and with bitter cries sought the Lord for mercy. Christian helpers took many of these “stricken ones” as they were now called into the new town hall, then awaiting its official opening. A Bible is still there with this inscription, “It is meant to be a memorial of the first opening of the new town hall when upon the night of June 9th, nearly one hundred persons agonised in mind through conviction of sin, and entirely prostrate in body, were brought into that building to obtain shelter during the night, and to receive consolation from the instructions and prayers of Christian ministers and Christian people.” 5

The sin model said that all problems are a result of one’s sin. If you struggled in your marriage or with an emotional problem such as depression, the role of the helper was to find the sin and confront you, urging you to confess, repent, and sin no more. If you did that, you were sure to get better. It was like many three-point sermons I had heard in strong Bible churches: God is good. You’re bad. Stop it.

The truth model held that the truth would set you free. If you were not “free,” if some area of your life were not working, it must be because you lacked “truth” in your life. So the helper’s role was to urge you to learn more verses, memorize more Scripture, and learn more doctrine (particularly your “position in Christ”), and then all of this truth would make its way from your head to your heart and ultimately into your behavior and emotions. Passages that emphasize knowing truth, renewing your mind, and how you “think in your heart” became a new theology of “thinking truth to gain emotional health.

Yo mama is so stupid… she thought Dunkin’ Donuts was a basketball team! Yo mama is so stupid… she tripped over a wireless phone! Yo mama is so stupid… she failed a survey! Yo mama is so stupid… she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death! Yo mama is so stupid… when they said that it is chilly outside, she went outside with a bowl and a spoon. Yo mama is so stupid… she tried to drown a fish! Yo mama is so stupid… she tried to throw a bird off a cliff! Yo mama is so stupid… she took a knife to a drive-by! Yo mama is so stupid… she thought Boyz II Men was a daycare center! Yo mama is so stupid… she bought a ticket to Xbox Live! Yo mama is so stupid… she thought she couldn’t buy a Gameboy because she is a girl! Yo mama is so stupid… she thought a scholarship was a ship full of students! Yo mama is so stupid… she threw a clock out the window to see time fly! Yo mama is so stupid… she went to the ocean to surf the Internet! Yo mama is so stupid… you can hear the ocean in her head! Yo mama is so stupid… she thought Hamburger Helper came with a friend! Yo mama is so stupid… she got locked in Furniture World and slept on the floor. Yo mama is so stupid… she sits on the floor and watches the couch. Yo mama is so stupid… she stayed up all night trying to catch up on her sleep! Yo mama is so stupid… she got her hand stuck in a website! Yo mama is so stupid… she thought Christmas wrap was Snoop Dogg’s new song! Yo mama is so stupid… she can't pass a blood test. Yo mama is so stupid… she thought the Harlem Shake was a drink! Yo mama is so stupid… she ordered a cheeseburger without the cheese. Yo mama is so stupid… she tried to climb Mountain Dew! Yo mama is so stupid… that she burned down the house with a CD burner. Yo mama is so stupid… she went to PetSmart to take an IQ test! Yo mama is so stupid… she went to the library to find Facebook! Yo mama is so stupid… she stole free bread. Yo mama is so stupid… she sold her car for gas money. Yo mama is so stupid… she stopped at a stop sign and waited for it to turn green. Yo mama is so stupid… when she asked me what kind of jeans I am wearing I said, “Guess”, and she said, “Levis”. Yo mama is so stupid… she called me to ask me for my phone number! Yo mama is so stupid… she worked at an M&M factory and threw out all the W's. Yo mama is so stupid… she tried to commit suicide by jumping out the basement window. Yo mama is so stupid… she got lost in a telephone booth. Yo mama is so stupid… she stuck a phone in her butt to make a booty call! Yo mama is so stupid… I said that drinks were on the house and she went to get a ladder! Yo mama is so stupid… she went to a dentist to fix her Bluetooth! Yo mama is so stupid… she put lipstick on her forehead to make up her mind. Yo mama is so stupid… it took her two hours to watch 60 seconds.