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What happened was that when they brought me in this morning, poor Fräulein Engel was sitting at the table with her back to the door, busily numbering my countless recipe cards, and I frightened the living daylights out of her by braying in a deep, stentorian voice of command and discipline, ‘Achtung, Anna Engel! Heil Hitler!’ She catapulted to her feet and threw herself into a salute that must have nearly dislocated her shoulder. I’ve never seen her look so white around the gills. She recovered almost immediately and smacked me so hard she knocked me over. When Thibaut picked me up, she smacked me again just for the sheer hell of it. Wow wow wow is my jaw sore. I suppose they are not planning another phoney interview.
I can never decide if it is worth it. It was a truly hilarious moment, but all I seem to have achieved this time is a totally unexpected collusion between Engel and Thibaut.
Did I call them Laurel and Hardy? I meant sodding Romeo and Juliet. This is flirting, à la Gestapo underlings:
She: Oh, you are so strong and manly, M’sieur Thibaut. Those knots you tie are so secure.
He: That is nothing. Look, I pull them so tight you cannot undo them. Try.
She: It is true, I cannot! Oh, pull them tighter!
He: Chérie, your wish is my command.
It is my ankles, not hers, which he is binding so tightly and with such masculine charm.
She: I shall have to call you in tomorrow morning as well, to do this task for me.
He: You must cross the cords, so, and knot them behind –
Me: Squeak! Squeak!
She: Shut up and write, ya wee skrikin’ Scots piece o’ shite.
Well, no, she did not use those exact words. But you get the idea.
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