Grim Reaper Funny Quotes

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Bones just stared. "You're not a woman," he said finally. "You're the Grim Reaper with red hair!
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Jeaniene Frost (Halfway to the Grave (Night Huntress, #1))
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You're Nash's brother. And a grim reaper?" She blinked again, and I readied myself for hysterics, or fear, or laughter. But knowing emma, I should have known better. "So you, what? Kill people? Did you kill me that day in the gym?" She clenched the headrest, her expression an odd mix of anger, awe, and confusion. But there was no disbelief. She'd seen and heard enough of the bizarre following her own temporary death that Tod's admission obviously didn't come as that much of a surprise. Or maybe Nash's Influence was still affecting her a little. "No," Tod shook his head firmly, but the corners of his mouth turned up in amusement. "I had nothing to do with that. I do kill people, then I reap their souls and take them to be recycled. But only people who are on my list." "So, you're not...dangerous?" His pouty grin deepened into something almost predatory, like the Tod I'd first met two months earlier. "Oh, I'm dangerous...." "Tod..." I warned, as Nash punched his brother in the arm, hard enough to actually hurt. "Just not to you," the reaper finished, shrugging at Emma. "I see you all the time, but you've never seen me, because Kaylee said if I got too close to you, I'd suffer eternity without my balls." "Jeez, Tod!" I shouted, my anger threatening to boil over and scald us all. The reaper leaned closer to Emma and spoke in a stage whisper. "She's not as scary as she thinks she is, but I respect her intent.
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Rachel Vincent (My Soul to Save (Soul Screamers, #2))
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It's funny, but I always thought I could trust blue eyes. I thought they were safe somehow. All the good guys have baby blues. The dark eyes are for the villains... the Grim Reaper, the Joker, Zombies. All dark.
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Lucy Christopher (Stolen (Stolen, #1))
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Funny how the illusion of safety can make us careless.
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Christopher Moore (A Dirty Job (Grim Reaper, #1))
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No," Charlie said. "I'm not losing you after just finding you. You stay here." "You creep! What gives you the right to be that way. I just found you, too." "Yeah, but I'm not much of a find.
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Christopher Moore (A Dirty Job (Grim Reaper, #1))
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Speaking of welding torches... there’s one heading our way!’ The Nursebot was not wrong. Coming for them with the calculated patience of a Grim Reaper on rollerblades was the greatest wildfire the trio had ever seen. Burning in a mischievous cobalt-blue flame that straightforwardly spelled β€œchemical fire”, the all-consuming flames had cornered them by the unopenable hatch, within an inch of their lives. β€˜We’re all going to die!’ wined 22-8, cradling his coppery head. β€˜We’re done for!’ β€˜I thought you social robots were built with problem-solving code,’ said Floater, hovering as close to the ceiling as possible. β€˜Yes, well. My problem-solving code took too much space on the disk,’ said 22-8 morosely. Floater shook his head in disbelief. β€˜So you deleted it? To make room for what?’ 22-8 lowered his head and whispered something that sounded very much like β€œdank memes” before falling silent.
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Louise Blackwick (God is a Robot)
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Now I have a ghost and a grim reaper in my lounge room!" said Lance Infuriated. "A Grim Reaper where?" asked the ghost in horror. "Me, the grand reaper,", said. Blake more engrossed in the television than the ghost who he saw as no problem. "Grand reaper what's that?" the ghost asked. "Another name for a couch potato!" Lance hissed, "King of the Grim reapers he's meant to get rid of you!
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Rachel Lawson (The Magicians: Lend me your ears: first book of the series)
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It is quite beautiful, that level of death, although to some it could be considered nightmarish. Whatda see old pal? Do you see death? Is he waiting at your doorstep for you and ya kin? Does he carrya scythe? Is he hooded like the healers? Or are you fortunate enough to gaze upon his face? Do you see an old, wrinkled man there? Eyes the only thing darker than his skin, with his hair in stark contrast? You kow what they say, black isn’t a colour, but a shade. Void of all colour, just like my pal there is void of all life. Or do you see a young man hell bent on revenge, trying to bring a loved one back from the grave? Trying so hard he will put every living soul in the ground to lift his love out of it? Is he pissed off that he can grant death, but the one thing he wants, life, is out of his grasp? Does he speak to you at night? When you sleep, with all the lights out, does he glide silently to your bedside and touch you? Does it hurt? Or do you not feel anything, just close your eyes and never open them again? Do you fear death, Steven?
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Finn Eccleston (The Community: A Funny and Disturbing Conspiracy Mystery Novel (Project M Book 1))
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Don't care. It's a mystery. Know what I like about mysteries? They're mysterious.
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Christopher Moore (A Dirty Job (Grim Reaper, #1))