Good Jamaican Quotes

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From Jess: FANG. I've commented your blog with my questions for THREE YEARS. You answer other people's STUPID questions but not MINE. YOU REALLY ASKED FOR IT, BUDDY. I'm just gonna comment with this until you answer at least one of my questions. DO YOU HAVE A JAMAICAN ACCENT? No, Mon DO YOU MOLT? Gross. WHAT'S YOUR STAR SIGN? Dont know. "Angel what's my star sign?" She says Scorpio. HAVE YOU TOLD JEB I LOVE HIM YET? No. DOES NOT HAVING A POWER MAKE YOU ANGRY? Well, that's not really true... DO YOU KNOW HOW TO DO THE SOULJA BOY? Can you see me doing the Soulja Boy? DOES IGGY KNOW HOW TO DO THE SOULJA BOY? Gazzy does. DO YOU USE HAIR PRODUCTS? No. Again,no. DO YOU USE PRODUCTS ON YOUR FEATHERS? I don't know that they make bird kid feather products yet. WHAT'S YOU FAVORITE MOVIE? There are a bunch WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE SONG? I don't have favorites. They're too polarizing. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE SMELL? Max, when she showers. DO THESE QUESTIONS MAKE YOU ANGRY? Not really. IF I CAME UP TO YOU IN A STREET AND HUGGED YOU, WOULD YOU KILL ME? You might get kicked. But I'm used to people wanting me dead, so. DO YOU SECRETLY WANT TO BE HUGGED? Doesn't everybody? ARE YOU GOING EMO 'CAUSE ANGEL IS STEALING EVERYONE'S POWERS (INCLUDING YOURS)? Not the emo thing again. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE FOOD? Anything hot and delicious and brought to me by Iggy. WHAT DID YOU HAVE FOR BREAKFAST THIS MORNING? Three eggs, over easy. Bacon. More Bacon. Toast. DID YOU EVEN HAVE BREAKFAST THIS MORNING? See above. DID YOU DIE INSIDE WHEN MAX CHOSE ARI OVER YOU? Dudes don't die inside. DO YOU LIKE MAX? Duh. DO YOU LIKE ME? I think you're funny. DOES IGGY LIKE ME? Sure DO YOU WRITE DEPRESSING POETRY? No. IS IT ABOUT MAX? Ahh. No. IS IT ABOUT ARI? Why do you assume I write depressing poetry? IS IT ABOUT JEB? Ahh. ARE YOU GOING TO BLOCK THIS COMMENT? Clearly, no. WHAT ARE YOU WEARING? A Dirty Projectors T-shirt. Jeans. DO YOU WEAR BOXERS OR BRIEFS? No freaking comment. DO YOU FIND THIS COMMENT PERSONAL? Could I not find that comment personal? DO YOU WEAR SUNGLASSES? Yes, cheap ones. DO YOU WEAR YOUR SUNGLASSES AT NIGHT? That would make it hard to see. DO YOU SMOKE APPLES, LIKE US? Huh? DO YOU PREFER BLONDES OR BRUNETTES? Whatever. DO YOU LIKE VAMPIRES OR WEREWOLVES? Fanged creatures rock. ARE YOU GAY AND JUST PRETENDING TO BE STRAIGHT BY KISSING LISSA? Uhh... WERE YOU EXPERIMENING WITH YOUR SEXUALITY? Uhh... WOULD YOU TELL US IF YOU WERE GAY? Yes. DO YOU SECRETLY LIKE IT WHEN PEOPLE CALL YOU EMO? No. ARE YOU EMO? Whatever. DO YOU LIKE EGGS? Yes. I had them for breakfast. DO YOU LIKE EATING THINGS? I love eating. I list it as a hobby. DO YOU SECRETLY THINK YOU'RE THE SEXIEST PERSON IN THE WHOLE WORLD? Do you secretly think I'm the sexiest person in the whole world? DO YOU EVER HAVE DIRTY THOUGHTS ABOUT MAX? Eeek! HAS ENGEL EVER READ YOUR MIND WHEN YOU WERE HAVING DIRTY THOUGHT ABOUT MAX AND GONE "OMG" AND YOU WERE LIKE "D:"? hahahahahahahahahahah DO YOU LIKE SPONGEBOB? He's okay, I guess. DO YOU EVER HAVE DIRTY THOUGHT ABOUT SPONGEBOB? Definitely CAN YOU COOK? Iggy cooks. DO YOU LIKE TO COOK? I like to eat. ARE YOU, LIKE, A HOUSEWIFE? How on earth could I be like a housewife? DO YOU SECRETLY HAVE INNER TURMOIL? Isn't it obvious? DO YOU WANT TO BE UNDA DA SEA? I'm unda da stars. DO YOU THINK IT'S NOT TOO LATE, IT'S NEVER TOO LATE? Sure. WHERE DID YOU LEARN TO PLAY POKER? TV. DO YOU HAVE A GOOD POKER FACE? Totally. OF COURSE YOU HAVE A GOOD POKER FACE. DOES IGGY HAVE A GOOD POKER FACE? Yes. CAN HE EVEN PLAY POKER? Iggy beats me sometimes. DO YOU LIKE POKING PEOPLE HARD? Not really. ARE YOU FANGALICIOUS? I could never be as fangalicious as you'd want me to be. Fly on, Fang
James Patterson (Fang (Maximum Ride, #6))
Don't turn a good dude who is loyal to his chick into a bad nigga by throwing yourself at him when he is already committed. Know when to stay the hell away.Good men are rare. If he aint single, don't make him unfaithful. Oh Yes, he might cheat with some other chick. It does not have to be you.
Crystal Evans (Ten Things Your Mother Should Have Told You about Dating)
you see a nigga won't give a good girl shit yet he will spend his last dime trying to make a bad girl his bitch. He will go broke trying to trap some whore into a monogamous relationship
Crystal Evans (Ten Things Your Mother Should Have Told You about Dating)
Never be done by one experience. Lovers who broke your heart Friends who betrayed you Family that let you down Opportunities \ jobs that never worked out. Whole heap a people you still have not met yet Whole heap a places you haven't been. The best may yet still to come.
Crystal Evans (Every Man Deserves A Good Jacket II: Babydaddy Series (Bouncing Baby Book 2))
My mother is the same shade as Oprah or Maya. Some summers I have seen my big brother almost as brown as Idris but closer to Obama in the winter. Bob Marley was mixed, Jamaican and Celtic, same as me, his shade looks pale in some photos, sometimes much darker. You see, it all depends on the filter and the time of year, it all depends on the light, it all depends on the shade. It depends on what point people are trying to make, to advertise things, to sell you things, to make money.
Nikesh Shukla (The Good Immigrant)
I backed my car into a cop car the other day Well he just drove off sometimes life's OK I ran my mouth off a bit too much oh what did I say Well you just laughed it off it was all OK And we'll all float on OK And we'll all float on OK And we'll all float on OK And we'll all float on any way Well, a fake Jamaican took every last dime with that scam It was worth it just to learn from sleight of hand Bad news comes don't you worry even when it lands Good news will work its way to all them plans We both got fired on exactly the same day Well we'll float on good news is on the way And we'll all float on OK And we'll all float on OK And we'll all float on OK And we'll all float on alright Already we'll all float on Now don't you worry we'll all float on alright Already we'll all float on alright Don't worry we'll all float on (alright already) And we'll all float on alright Already we'll all float on alright Don't worry even if things end up a bit too heavy We'll all float on alright Already we'll all float on alright Already we'll all float on OK Don't worry we'll all float on Even if things get heavy we'll all float on alright Already we'll all float on alright Don't you worry we'll all float on alright All float on
Modest Mouse
They were both comparative mirrors of each other. It was clear to her now more than he had used her and she was outraged that she had someone allowed it if not instigated it. Kitty retreated; she bit her lips to hold back the tears. She was a strong woman. The car purred to life and the tall shadowy figure of the boy she had the most earthshaking sex with a few nights ago gaped at her with contempt from behind the glass. She raced into traffic and a push cart man swung his arms at her motor car belting out expletives, scolding Kitty for her reckless driving. She wanted to go home but first she wanted to be at one with the wind. She listened to the sound of the cars whooshing by and the bubbly nature of the people heading into the Chinese owned supermarkets and knew she was finally home. It always found her. It found her in the men she fell in love with. Tom was a good man but he was safe and Kitty never liked safe, she was reckless and risqué like the malefactor blood that ran in her veins. She could not run from it. The Ghetto was not just a place; it was a state of mind. She always thought she was running from the Ghetto but the Ghetto was with her even to the deepest corners of the earth for the Ghetto was her. You could not run away from yourself.
Crystal Evans (Ghetto Slam)
A dog will be a dog regardless of its owner, the same stick that pokes sheep, will impale the goat. Women tend to believe that he won't do to me what he has done to her. A dog will be a dog regardless of its owner. The same stick that smote the yellow snake will smite the black one too.
Crystal Evans (Every Man Deserves A Good Jacket II: Babydaddy Series (Bouncing Baby Book 2))
I am like that to most people, an ear to listen, a shoulder to cry on, someone to ask a favour, Rock of Gibraltar. I called her back. I listened to her rant. I repeated these four words i saw somewhere earlier this week, they had become a sort of mantra for me. LIVE ABOVE THE NOISE I told her that I'd noticed something about most gossipmongers. They are stagnant. I remember i hadn't been to my natal community in two years. As the sun riseth, i guaranteed when i stepped foot into there that i would find the same set of bingo playing all day women, who knew everybody's business and thought sleeping with someone's man was some sort of achievement:gathered at the same spot. I did. People who chat people rarely are good at anything else. They are focused so much on what's going on around them and less on self improvement. They so busy watching people's business, they miss opportunities for advancement. Instead of working on their faults and deficiencies, they highlight the flaws of another to detract from their shitty lives. You cannot live your life at the mercies of another's opinions. Opinions are like assholes everyone has one. Yes from time to time we will become rattled by mindless chatter, remember to live above the noise...
Crystal Evans (Jamaican Acute-Ghetto-itis: Jamaican Sociological Commentary)
Don't get caught up too much hun. Life is more than this very moment. Don't use this one moment as a true measure of the outcome. You would be surprise at how things fall in place.
Crystal Evans (Every Man Deserves A Good Jacket II: Babydaddy Series (Bouncing Baby Book 2))
All i can say to women is to guard your personal space with discrimination, anno every and anybody to get access to your life so they can have a story to tell about you. For what they do inno hun, is tek the likkle weh dem know bout you and spread it like that is you. A few composite of events , experiences and perceptions makes someone create this tabloid about you not knowing anything about you. I don't let people get close to me anymore. Some people who managed to do so, should already know that i will never allow them to get so close to me that they get a platform to fabricate stories about me. What's worse, in this time and age, people are quick to believe the worse of others. I don't make it bother me, am like oil, that shit don't stick it just rolls the fuck off. Not only that, they can't lower me for oil never sinks, don't even try mixing it, it will float right back on top.
Crystal Evans (Every Man Deserves A Good Jacket II: Babydaddy Series (Bouncing Baby Book 2))
Those who can't dance say the music is no good..
Jamaican proverb
Your best moment where you are praised have to be maintained by the unwritten condition of you doing something greater or as good as the last time. Everything in life is conditional .
Crystal Evans (The Fairy Tale Complex)
Bob Marley gave Reggae music new meaning. The super-talented Jamaican singer did not just sing; he chanted. Highly spiritual, his music has cadences of subterranean intrigues wholesome for the human psyche. He loved mankind and stood for the oppressed. Bob has been dead now for many years, but his good music lives right on.
Nkwachukwu Ogbuagu
She was an inappropriate dresser, always selecting the wrong wardrobe for any occasion. She would wear business suits for greasy coffee shop lunch dates with Tommy and Jesse, but then choose worn, tattered bohemian skirts and Jamaican knit hats for meetings with authors and literary agents. Still, she braggingly described her own fashion sense as being somewhere between a Park Avenue spinster on a bad day and a Meat-Packing District hobo on a good day.
Ryan Tim Morris (The Falling)
You have to be careful what you write and not allow self righteousness to cloud your ability to be objective. This story is not about you, it's about people and things that no one else sees. The truth will at times come to you in a blur, unclear, unsettling refusing to leave until you figure out its relevance.
Crystal Evans (Every Man Deserves A Good Jacket)
You're No Good" (feat. Santigold, Vybz Kartel, Danielle Haim & Yasmin) [Intro] You’re no good for me But the way you movin at me, oh it might be You want a Jamaican one [Verse] She say she love me and I’m nice Nothing after he return, nothing at the night She say it’s loving, make this down No time at all, she don’t wanna line She touch me, it all become nice She love me, for the rest of her life D drop it down, round kiss on mi spine Touch and make a sweet song, on top of all things My uh uh uh uh uh My ee ee ee ee ee My uh uh uh uh uh (my baby) My ee ee ee ee ee [Chorus] My aa aa aa aa me My melodea My L L L LSD I know you’ll come back around My aa aa aa aa me My melodea My L L L LSD You want a Jamaican one I know you’ll come back around [Verse] If I had you back I’ll never let you go another way Not for the life of me How could you imagine that? Well my mistake that send you on your way Well nothing I can say To you like drops of water Don’t ask me what went wrong Can’t turn back the damage I’ve done Can’t take em back after I’m gone A fool to keep on trying Can’t make me walk away ‘Cause baby I’m back and as I’m getting strung that you’ll be back one day [Chorus] [Verse] Girl you think you love me baby And you know so mi love is for my lady Deserve no faith to deserve no Slim Shady Go Shawty, it’s yo birthday No if and no maybe Take and attack it, you’re the thing, ordinary Me as boyfriend, girl come on and come save me Me and you’re tinking me, com e with me Surely inside the long shorty Til it wind, pan the flow and wind, pan the flow And if you want to get girls that do me Come here, lick it more, lick it more Mean everything, as I me love you So no one kill how I ever want Any time, get chug upon the doorway Man rest assured, pan the girl next door Oh yes I did did My uh uh uh uh uh My melodea My ee ee ee ee ee I know you’ll come back around My uh uh uh uh uh My melodea My ee ee ee ee ee I know you’ll come back around now You’re no good for me But the way you movin at me, oh it might be No one ever made me feel so sweet Now you got me begging on my knees Baby get it for me It’s for your eyes only, living for you solely It’s for your eyes only, living for you solely It’s for your eyes only, living for you solely It’s for your eyes only, living for you solely [x2] It’s for your eyes only, living for you solely It’s for your eyes only, living for you solely It’s for your eyes only, living for you solely It’s for your eyes only, living for you solely [Chorus x2] My aa aa aa aa me
Major Lazer
Right now, Harlem is delicious. On the corner of 125th and Frederick Douglass Avenue, I turn my head south and see Little Senegal steeped in barter and food. Then I look north. Charles' Country Pan Fried Chicken is beyond my sight, but I know it's there. Smothered pork chops, hoppin' John, and fried chicken so good it makes you believe in prayer. Charles and his soul food is not alone. When hidden or right on an avenue, Harlem is cooking. An entire neighborhood is draped in spice and smells: cumin, garlic, brown sugar. And if that's not enough, take a peek and pause at the folks selling a heart's desire: wooden bracelets, gold-plated necklaces, sun dresses, bed sheets, Jamaican beef patties. You are in Harlem.
Marcus Samuelsson (The Red Rooster Cookbook: The Story of Food and Hustle in Harlem)
If a guy is more committed to a process end game that signals “not you” than he is to winning your affection then he doesn’t want you. Simpler terms. If when you fall out he can go weeks or months without speaking to you. Yet when you were on good terms he could not commit to seeing you and speaking to you every day. He didn’t like you. If he is more committed to the process of cutting you off than he was trying to gain your affection. He doesn’t like you.
Crystal Evans (100 Dating Tips for Jamaican Women)
Being the recipient of unrequited love gave me an insight into how people might feel or think who are not that into me. It made me realize it’s best to let go of a person that doesn’t really want me. I keep thinking how I feel about the person that likes me and I can’t reciprocate, is exactly how an individual who doesn’t want me feels about me. RSS SSS I can’t shake it. I don’t want to be around anyone that feels that way about me. A point I explored in my Yakima book. I think objection of my affection feels the same way about me like I do the person I don’t really like and it’s an overall sickening feeling. I felt disgusted and I repelled the person who liked me and when I was around them, I wanted them to leave. I tolerated them because I didn’t want to hurt them but I secretly pitied them. I wish they would move on and find someone to love them and leave me alone. The more they tried, the more suffocated I felt and imprisoned. I wanted what I wanted and I didn’t care. It’s just not you and I don’t know how to change that. No amount of good treatment from them or logic made me change my mind about the way I felt about him. It wasn’t him. That’s finale. Here is a more twisted part of the story. When he did, I wish they still loved me but only on my terms when I wanted to see them, when I had time for them. When I could tolerate it. It’s not that I don’t want him to love me. I only wanted it when I want it. Not all the time. Through unrequited love, l've gained a deeper ... understanding of the importance of mutual interest in relationships. l've learned to acknowledge when someone's enthusiasm isn't reciprocated and to release connections that lack genuine investment. I empathize with those who experience unrequited love, just as I do with the person who admires me without reciprocation. This insight has empowered me to prioritize authentic connections and explore the complexities of love in my Yakima book.
Crystal Evans (Yakima)
Step by Step… Can you write out your ideal business step by step Here is a business I am setting up for a client. She wants to shipping start her own shipping company… One she will need a US partner to collect and transfer packages to her in Jamaica. She will also need one in China. I have two contacts. One has a warehouse in Florida The other has two in China. Chinese connect makes goods available within 3 weeks, she has to tell her customers four. The US connect makes it within 3-5 days. She has to tell them within a week… Next she will need a website where her customers can login and track their packages. This will come with individual dashboards. She will need an interface and warehouse management software and logistics APIs. She will also need an automated email set up (journey) to send emails to her customers without her or her agents needing to do that. Without this Saas she would have to hire someone to reply to messages and emails about , someone to call and track, use usps and FedEx tracking numbers to track and reply back to customers. She also needs a beta ApI to allow her warehouse guy to update the CRM with information about her customers packages… Key nodes such as - Intransit to destinations Held at customs Clearance In transit to store Pick up available etc… These will come in as email notifications Fully automated. Everything will be connected using Webhooks… entire system. Saas she might need to use a combination of GOhighlevel, Workiz and To run this as a System as as Service. Each platform can work together using webhooks. Gohighlevel as a Saas is $500 a month Workiz is $200 dollars She can use Odoo which is open source alternative as a CRM And Clickup as Management. This is how a conversational business plan looks. You can see it. You can research it. You can confirm that it’s plausible. It doesn’t sound like pipedreams. It sounds workable to credit companies /banks and investors. It sounds doable to a BDO Client. I also sound as if I know what I am doing. Not a lot of technical language. A confused prospective business investor or banker don’t want to use a dictionary to figure out everything… They want to see the vision as clear as day. You basically need to do to them what I did to you when you joined my programme. It must sound plausible. All businesses is a game of wit. Every deal that is signed benefits both party. Whether initially or in the long term. Those are the sub-tenets of business. Every board meeting or meeting with regulatory boards, banks, credit facilities, municipalities is a game of convincing people to see your thing through… Everyone does Algorithm is simple. People want you to solve their problems with speed and efficiency. Speed is very important and automation. Progress, business and production are tied to ego… that’s why people love seh oh dem start a business or dem have dem online business and nah sell one rass thing. Cause a lot of people think being successful and looking successful are one and the same thing until they meet someone like me or people who done the work… Don’t rush it… you are young and you have time. There are infact certain little nuances Weh yuh only ago learn through experience. Experience and reflection. One of the drawbacks of wanting to run your business by yourself with you and your family members is that you guys will have to be reliant on yourself for feedback which is not alw
Crystal Evans
Sometimes people do you favour by leaving your life. You have to adopt that WOW factor, With Or Without you attitude then move on and move up.
Crystal Evans (Every Man Deserves A Good Jacket II: Babydaddy Series (Bouncing Baby Book 2))
When people tried to bring my ex up or what happened in the past to detract away from the life am living now. I just hit them with a stop mark. I tell them. "I've moved on, Y'all should too.
Crystal Evans (Every Man Deserves A Good Jacket II: Babydaddy Series (Bouncing Baby Book 2))
One of the defects or deficiency of being a somewhat evolved human being in terms of emotional and practical intelligence is that I see through people. Sometimes I am wrong about them… because I read them based on their output and not their intentions… I am impatient with slow, unintelligent and lazy people. When they are just being average human beings. I sometimes despise them living this simple and bliss life with no care in the world while I am constantly grappling with figuring out my next move or step in some life mission process I have that keeps sprouting detours, obstacle courses and problems that only delay me and might one day completed undermine my efforts and ambitions. When it comes to friends, men, family… I have lost some of my ability to have good relations with others… Simple put, anything or anyone that isn’t moving towards an end goal, mission or completion, annoys me to a fault and my only solution to that is to disengage and abandon it or them. Anything that isn’t aligned to my end goal is a waste of time. Last but not least, I loathe my indiscipline in certain areas. Specifically weight loss, I know what I need to do, I still haven’t done it. It creates episodes of self loathing where I am forced to reckon/recognize that I have some of the same issues, shortcomings and icks i despise in other human beings. While they can’t write a long paragraph, book or dissertation they can commit to running five miles. And then a part of my brain clicks, a voice says, running for them is writing for you… They aren’t that special…
Crystal Evans (Jamaican Acute Ghetto Itis)