“
When I was young I was taught well
better to give than to receive
what to do with life I was told
what goals I must achieve
but well intentioned goals of others
were simply not my own
found living my own life no theirs
the full cost of which was my home
I'm full of clear dichotomy
of pleasure and of pain
like loving long days of summer
just as much as those of rain
a thriving centre of attention
I'm comfortable alone
putting others first comes naturally
but my motives are my own
I like to taste sweet delicacies
of loving and of touch
but equally my heart can freeze
when it all becomes too much.
I'm comfortable with the physical
what many would call sin
knowing you cannot spread love to others
if you can't love the skin you're in.
I find myself helping those with troubles
in their times of greatest need
yet my own pain that I suffer from
my own advice I ought heed
I do not expect a following
beside me in my pain
but I'm always pleasantly comforted
by those with me in the rain.
A hopeless female Shakespeare
whose world is getting dark
hoping in small ways at least
I'm able to leave my mark
a successful life is not counted in years
for I shall soon be gone
but by how many lives I have touched and helped
with my humble single one.
I'm grateful of the life I've had
mixed privilege with suffering
maybe I just lived it a little too fast
while others rested during buffering
what memory of me might last
when I step through the final door
I'd rather it be how I faced the world
always with a mighty roar.
And so when the time comes for me
to face my final curtain
I'll face death with the same energy for life
of this you can be certain
no subtle soft exit for this dark winged bird
I'm no peaceful mindless minion,
I'll regale of my sins with the devil himself
in eternity of riotous oblivion.
”
”