Geography Funny Quotes

Pop culture. Nobody does bullshit better than us. Right? China took over manufacturing. And the Middle East has us on fossil fuels. That's just geography and politics. We're a nation of whacko immigrants. Scavengers and con men. We crossed the ocean on faith, stole some land and stone-cold made up a whole country out of nothing but balls and bullshit. Superhero comics got invented by crazy genius Jews who showed up and revamped the refugee experience into a Man of Steel sent from Krypton with a secret identity.

Where in the Bible are we told in one verse not to do a thing and in the next to do it? ‘Answer not a fool according to his folly, lest thou also be like unto him.’ Prov. xxvi. 4. ‘Answer a fool according to his folly, lest he be wise in his own conceit.’ Prov. xxvi. 5.

The comedian toys with our rational minds and brings about a "momentary fusion between two habitually incompatible matrices." The punch line comes a surprise but makes perfect sense. The sudden click of logic makes a joke funny; humor is reasonable. Someone without a strongly developed sense of logic is unlikely to have a good sense of humor either.

...If you're not with family on major holidays, people worry, calling to see if you're being sufficiently festive, yelling at you if you eat Chee-tos for phans by circumstance, geography, or choice, but a cultural conspiracy was afoot to make us feel otherwise. Work, I decided, was the antidote.

Never, ever, give just a one-sentence response to the question, Where are you from? Give the asker some fuel for his tank, some fodder for his trough. All it takes is an extra sentence or two about your city. Some interesting facts, some witty observations to hook the asker into the conversation. Learn some engaging facts about your hometown that conversational partners can comment on. Learn some history, geography, business statistics, or perhaps a few fun facts to tickle future friends funny bones.

Never, ever, give just a one-sentence response to the question, Where are you from? Give the asker some fuel for his tank, some fodder for his trough. All it takes is an extra sentence or two about your city. Some interesting facts, some witty observations to hook the asker into the conversation. Learn some engaging facts about your hometown that conversational partners can comment on. Learn some history, geography, business statistics, or perhaps a few fun facts to tickle future friends funny bones.

What happens over the next few months is like the plot of a children's movie, the kind where a dog finds its owner in spite of insurmountable odds and prohibitive geography.