“
She flipped through the notebook. In most places, Murphy’s large, crooked handwriting ate up the pages greedily, as if she couldn’t write large enough to get her point across. Occasionally Birdie’s more graceful handwriting appeared, adding asides or participating with Murphy in some kind of list she had thrown together, like favorite Leeda moments, or most unknown things about Leeda, or Leeda’s top five best articles of clothing.
Mostly, though, it was all Murphy. Listing albums Leeda had to own before she died, like Janis Joplin’s Pearl. Copied scraps of her favorite poetry: about nature and despair and cities and even one or two about love that Murphy had annotated with words like Sickening, but she’s good and Horrible but worth reading. Dried leaves---pecan, magnolia, and, of course, the thin slivered shape of the peach leaf---taped in messy crisscrosses. A cider label Birdie had once kissed. A diagram of Leeda---outlined sloppily with colored-in blond hair, with words on the outside pointing to different parts of her: brainy pointing to her head, good posture pointing to her back, hot gams pointing to her legs, impenetrable (ha ha) pointing to her heart.
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Jodi Lynn Anderson (The Secrets of Peaches (Peaches, #2))
“
Love Marriage Mein Problem? {+91.82197.26731}Vashikaran Se Solution!
Abhi call karein: +918219726731. Love marriage mein family opposition ya trust issues ho rahe hain? Vashikaran se samadhan paayein.
प्रेम विवाह के कारण पैदा हुई समस्याओं के कारण पति-पत्नी के बीच मतभेद और समस्याएं पैदा होने लगती हैं। वे छोटी-छोटी बातों पर झगड़ने लगते हैं। कई बार परिवार के लोग भी दोनों के बीच गलतफहमियां पैदा करने लगते हैं।
प्रेम विवाह के चलते उत्पन्न हुई समस्याओं के कारण पति-पत्नी के बीच मतभेद और तनाव बढ़ने लगते हैं। वे अक्सर छोटी-छोटी बातों पर झगड़ने लगते हैं। कई बार परिवार के सदस्य भी उनके बीच गलतफहमियां पैदा करने में भूमिका निभाते हैं।
Love Marriage Issues ke Liye Vashikaran
Family Ko Manaye: "Om Gam Ganapataye Namah" ka jaap karein – Ganesh ji obstacles door karenge.
Third-Party Hataye: Partner ke photo par kesar se "Om Hreem" likhkar diye ke samne rakhein.
Vashikaran Specialist ka Sahara: Parents ko samjhaane ke liye special yantra ya puja.
Kya Hai Vashikaran Specialist ka Role?
Kundli milaakar dosh analyze karna.
Inter-caste marriage ke liye powerful totke batana.
Call Now: +918219726731 (Instant Solution).
”
”
Frank Herbert (Science Fiction Stories 11)
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That's when I joined the circus. I started as a stablehand and eventually became one of the riders." She sighed nostalgically. "I liked the circus. The people are warm."
"Too warm, I gather."
Maisie nodded. "I never really got on with the ringmaster, and when he told me to gam him it was time to leave. I decided that if I'm going to suck cocks for a living I want a better wage. And here I am." She always picked up speech mannerisms and she had adopted April's unrestrained vocabulary.
April gave her a shrewd look. "Just how many cocks have you sucked since then?"
"None, to tell the truth." Maisie felt embarrassed. "I can't lie to you, April-I'm not sure I'm cut out for this trade."
"You're perfect for it!" April protested. "You've got that twinkle in your eye that men can't resist. Listen. Persist with Solly Greenbourne. Give him a bit more each time. Let him feel your pussy one day, let him see you naked the next. In about three weeks he'll be panting for it. One night when you've got his trousers down and his tool in your mouth, say: 'If you bought me a little house in Chelsea, we could do this any time you wanted to.' I swear to you, Maisie, if Solly says no to that, I'll become a nun."
Maisie knew she was right, but her soul revolted against it. She was not sure why. It was partly because she was not attracted to Solly. Paradoxically, another reason was that he was so nice. She could not bring herself to manipulate him heartlessly. But worst of all, she felt she would be giving up all hope of real love-a real marriage with a man she really burned for. On the other hand, she had to live somehow, and she was determined not to live like her parents, waiting all week for a pittance on payday and forever at risk of unemployment because of some financial crisis hundreds of miles away.
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Ken Follett (A Dangerous Fortune)
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I remember her saying, ‘I found my prince,’” Kelly’s bridesmaid and fellow actress Rita Gam told PEOPLE. “I thought she meant the generic term. Then I found out he really was a prince.
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People Magazine (People: The Royals: Their Lives, Loves, and Secrets)
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When Dominic entered my office, he had accepted as empirical truth that he was a deeply flawed individual: amoral, narcissistic, and unable to turn himself over to a Higher Power. How else to explain the swath of destruction he had cut through his own life and the lives of those who loved him? His time in AA had also taught him that his deeper psychological life was immaterial to mastering his addiction. He had a disease; the solution was in the Twelve Steps. When he was ready to quit, he would. It took eight months of psychotherapy before Dominic stopped drinking for good. Although he remained in therapy for several years after that, the key that unlocked his addiction was nothing more complex or ethereal than an understanding of what his addiction really was and how it really worked.
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Lance Dodes (The Sober Truth: Debunking the Bad Science Behind 12-Step Programs and the Rehab Industry)
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Why do we tolerate this industry? One reason may sound familiar: in rehab, one feels that one is doing something, taking on a life-changing intervention whose exorbitant expense ironically reinforces the impression that epochal changes must be just around the corner. It is marketed as the sort of cleansing experience that can herald the dawn of a new era. How many of us have not indulged this fantasy at one time or another—the daydream that if we could just put our lives “on pause” for a while and retreat somewhere pastoral and lovely, we could finally make sense of all our problems? Alas, the effect is temporary at best. Many patients begin using again soon after they emerge from rehab, often suffering repeated relapses. The discouragement that follows these failures can magnify the desperation that originally brought them to help’s door. What’s especially shocking is how the rehab industry responds to these individuals: they simply repeat their failed treatments, sometimes dozens of times. Repeat stays in rehab are very common, and readmission is almost always granted without any special consideration or review. On second and subsequent stays, the same program is offered, including lectures previously attended.
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Lance Dodes (The Sober Truth: Debunking the Bad Science Behind 12-Step Programs and the Rehab Industry)
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The gamblers claim that lessons have been learned. The non-gamblers believe that “love conquers all.” The gamblers may even believe it at that moment. Promises are made never to gamble again, to be a better person, to work harder, to pay back the debt, and the non-gamblers do what has been asked of them.
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GAM-ANON INTERNATIONAL SERVICE OFFICE (GAMES COMPULSIVE GAMBLERS and WE PLAY Second Edition)
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Loved ones want to trust the gamblers, because they believe that trust and love are inseparable.
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GAM-ANON INTERNATIONAL SERVICE OFFICE (GAMES COMPULSIVE GAMBLERS and WE PLAY Second Edition)
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Non-gamblers will take out loans, empty bank accounts, and even mortgage property for the gamblers out of fear and love.
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GAM-ANON INTERNATIONAL SERVICE OFFICE (GAMES COMPULSIVE GAMBLERS and WE PLAY Second Edition)
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I do love my husband, but I will not endanger my financial security or personal serenity to prove it.
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GAM-ANON INTERNATIONAL SERVICE OFFICE (GAMES COMPULSIVE GAMBLERS and WE PLAY Second Edition)
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In the gamblers' minds, a win buys respect, soothes a loved one's anger, salvages relationships, and makes past disappointments disappear.
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GAM-ANON INTERNATIONAL SERVICE OFFICE (GAMES COMPULSIVE GAMBLERS and WE PLAY Second Edition)
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Gamblers hide the compulsive gambling so well that the non-gamblers are unaware of it. They may be aware of recreational, affordable gambling, but have no idea that the gambling has gone beyond that. The gamblers use access to family funds, business funds, credit lines and credit cards to gamble and use the love and trust of non-gamblers to their advantage.
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GAM-ANON INTERNATIONAL SERVICE OFFICE (GAMES COMPULSIVE GAMBLERS and WE PLAY Second Edition)
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The gamblers calculate exactly how much time spent with family and friends, how much loving attention given to them, and how much money spent on and with them will be enough and not draw awareness to the time, attention and money that is being withheld.
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GAM-ANON INTERNATIONAL SERVICE OFFICE (GAMES COMPULSIVE GAMBLERS and WE PLAY Second Edition)
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The gamblers also rely on the absolute trust of the non-gamblers. If there is ever a question about money or time, the gamblers' loved ones readily accept the explanations. They don't check the bank accounts, the bills and the computer, speak to the gamblers' business partners about finances, or research the gamblers' explanations.
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GAM-ANON INTERNATIONAL SERVICE OFFICE (GAMES COMPULSIVE GAMBLERS and WE PLAY Second Edition)
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The gamblers may seek to carve out time to gamble by picking a fight and then marching out the door. The gamblers pretend to be so "upset" that they can't be in the company of loved ones, can't go to work, and can't go to school. Whether the need to gamble takes the gamblers outside the home to a race track, card club, or other gambling destination or to another room to sit in front of a computer for a session of internet gambling, this game attempts to turn the home into a battleground for the purpose of escape. After a while, the loved ones aren't fooled. They know where the gamblers are and why.
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GAM-ANON INTERNATIONAL SERVICE OFFICE (GAMES COMPULSIVE GAMBLERS and WE PLAY Second Edition)
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A spouse will protect the gamblers' parents, a friend will protect the gamblers' spouse, a spouse will protect the children, a sibling will protect other family members and loved ones, an adult child will protect a parent, and a parent will protect the other parent or the gambler's spouse. The gamblers rely on the protective nature of these relationships. What these non-gamblers often don't realize is that the people they are trying to protect may already know about the compulsive gambling, and could have given money to the gamblers recently or in the past. Perhaps one of these people has already confronted the gamblers, refused to give money, or threatened to expose the gamblers' lies that the gamblers are no longer gambling. The gamblers create this conspiracy of silence among non-gamblers because it is to their advantage. All these personal credit lines remain open because no one talks about the gambling, no one knows how much is being borrowed from anyone else, and those who think the gambling has stopped remain ignorant of the truth. What everyone is doing is providing money for the gamblers to gamble and, by their silence, enabling the gamblers to get away with the lies and quite possibly bankrupt those they are trying to protect.
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GAM-ANON INTERNATIONAL SERVICE OFFICE (GAMES COMPULSIVE GAMBLERS and WE PLAY Second Edition)
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The gamblers will employ any tactic that will produce the desired result – the freedom to gamble. This might include the "deep freeze" or silent treatment used against the loved ones. This game can be very effective since it succeeds in putting the non-gamblers off balance by diverting attention away from the gambling issues and planting the seeds of self-doubt in their minds. The non-gamblers might begin to question their own motives and beliefs and begin to think: Am I overreacting to the gambling problem? Do I need to be more understanding? What have I done to cause the gambler to be so angry with me? How can I make this situation right? I'll do whatever it takes. I must learn how to make this not happen again. I cannot stand being ignored.
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GAM-ANON INTERNATIONAL SERVICE OFFICE (GAMES COMPULSIVE GAMBLERS and WE PLAY Second Edition)
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It is essential that the loved ones involved with compulsive gamblers understand and believe that nothing they do or say will cause the gamblers to gamble, or make the gamblers stop gambling. They can encourage the gamblers to stop gambling with appropriate words and actions, but they cannot make the gamblers stop. Only the gamblers can do that.
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GAM-ANON INTERNATIONAL SERVICE OFFICE (GAMES COMPULSIVE GAMBLERS and WE PLAY Second Edition)
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When the gamblers lie, tell the gamblers you don't believe the lie. Avoid the argument by stopping the conversation. Do this by leaving the room, hanging up the phone, taking a drive, or making a phone call to a Gam-Anon friend. When the gamblers ask for money, say NO, no matter what the gamblers say will happen if they don't get the money. Don't pay the gamblers' debts. Protect your finances, family finances, and/or business finances from the gamblers so they no longer have access. Stop keeping the gambling a secret from those you are trying to protect. Separate love and trust. Acknowledge that the feelings of fear and guilt will not go away immediately. Don't show the fear. Hide the guilt. Act as if your fear and guilt do not exist. They are a source of manipulation and control for the gamblers. Speak the truth: 'You are a compulsive gambler. I love you, but I will not give you any money. I will not gamble with you or listen to your gambling experiences. I will not lie for you. I will not make excuses for you. I will not argue with you to convince you to stop gambling. That is your decision. The solutions to your problems are at Gamblers Anonymous.
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GAM-ANON INTERNATIONAL SERVICE OFFICE (GAMES COMPULSIVE GAMBLERS and WE PLAY Second Edition)
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I have detached with love from my mom and dad who are in their 80's now. I do not participate in discussions of their financial situation. I let them work out their own issues and have discovered that I can have a loving relationship with them that doesn't involve gambling activity and behavior.
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GAM-ANON INTERNATIONAL SERVICE OFFICE (GAMES COMPULSIVE GAMBLERS and WE PLAY Second Edition)
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The gamblers must manipulate situations and people in order to maintain their gambling activities. Those who love the gamblers can be easily manipulated and can never win playing the gamblers' games. The gamblers know each person's weaknesses and the moves that will be made before they do.
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GAM-ANON INTERNATIONAL SERVICE OFFICE (GAMES COMPULSIVE GAMBLERS and WE PLAY Second Edition)
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While many consider gamblers to be wonderful and loving people, the gamblers' families may feel quite differently. They see their gamblers as being unconcerned about them. There never seems to be enough money for their basic needs or enough time spent as a family.
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GAM-ANON INTERNATIONAL SERVICE OFFICE (GAMES COMPULSIVE GAMBLERS and WE PLAY Second Edition)
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Ultimately, they gamble in reckless desperation and the dream world brings no relief. It brings only increased debt and extreme anxiety, driving family and friends further away. But the obsession to gamble is accelerated nonetheless. The gamblers' self-destruction becomes a terrifying experience for families and loved ones and may involve their destruction as well.
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GAM-ANON INTERNATIONAL SERVICE OFFICE (GAMES COMPULSIVE GAMBLERS and WE PLAY Second Edition)
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It may be difficult for the loved ones to accept and examine their own issues when they are in relationships with compulsive gamblers. Their lives are frequently filled with fear, disappointment, frustration, anger and a general feeling of unmanageability, making even the simplest tasks of daily life a challenge. They know that something has to change in the way they are relating to the gamblers, but can’t think of what to do and how to do it, so they take no action other than repeating past behaviors. They have no way of knowing what may happen if they were to act and react differently. Fear of this unknown is a great deterrent for taking action. Feeling like a victim is a natural result.
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GAM-ANON INTERNATIONAL SERVICE OFFICE (GAMES COMPULSIVE GAMBLERS and WE PLAY Second Edition)
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Loved ones desperately try to rationalize and defend why they put up with the outrageous behavior of their compulsive gamblers. They use statements such as "I love him," "I know she loves me," "He needs me and would be lost without me," "The children need their mother/father," or "My culture, religion, family do not approve of divorce." These are frequently some of the reasons offered as excuses for doing nothing about the situation.
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GAM-ANON INTERNATIONAL SERVICE OFFICE (GAMES COMPULSIVE GAMBLERS and WE PLAY Second Edition)
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The spouses and loved ones begin to understand that the work of their recovery must begin from within and that they are responsible only for themselves. They will learn that it is possible to love their gamblers without enabling.
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GAM-ANON INTERNATIONAL SERVICE OFFICE (GAMES COMPULSIVE GAMBLERS and WE PLAY Second Edition)
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Some adult children of compulsive gamblers may identify with the gamblers, mimicking their behavior. Others may become the protectors of the non-gambling parent. Even though these children abhor gambling and may have grown up to dislike and distrust the gambling parent, they may actually help the gambler keep secrets so the non-gambling parent does not become upset. They might give the gambler money so the other parent does not suffer the financial and emotional consequences of the gambling. Some children will strive throughout their adulthood to secure the love and attention of the gambling parent, continuing to give money to the gambler, even to the detriment of their own relationships and financial security. For some children, their only choice is to physically and emotionally abandon their parents in order to strive, unencumbered by their parents' problems, to live a normal life.
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GAM-ANON INTERNATIONAL SERVICE OFFICE (GAMES COMPULSIVE GAMBLERS and WE PLAY Second Edition)
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In the beginning one may fail to recognize compulsive gambling as a serious problem. The loved ones may participate as part of their social entertainment, enjoying the excitement and glamour of vacations in places such as Las Vegas and similar destinations.
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GAM-ANON INTERNATIONAL SERVICE OFFICE (GAMES COMPULSIVE GAMBLERS and WE PLAY Second Edition)