Fun Weekend Getaways Quotes

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I booked hotel rooms in the city, I lit candles, I planned surprise weekend getaways, I bought porn! My Google search history is probably still full of all the porn I bought, and tomorrow I might get hit by a bus and people will see my Google porn history and it won’t be pretty!” I sob. “For three years I tried everything I could to get my husband to have sex with me, and nothing worked. Now I’m going to die, sexless and alone, with student/teacher pornography stuck in my cookies!” Ariel quickly drops down next to me, grabs the Clone-a-Willy from my hand and chucks it across the room. “You are NOT going to die sexless and alone with anything stuck in your cookie, aside from another much larger, much more enjoyable frickle,” Ariel reassures me. “He really didn’t have a very satisfying frickle. God, I miss sex,” I say with a sigh. “His frickle was fucked, and he wouldn’t know how to use it if he had a road map and a tour guide.” “See? It’s fun saying frickle!” Belle exclaims.

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