β
A dragon without its rider is a tragedy.
A rider without their dragon is dead.
β
β
Rebecca Yarros (Fourth Wing (The Empyrean, #1))
β
Thereβs nowhere in existence you could go that I wouldnβt find you, Violence.
β
β
Rebecca Yarros (Fourth Wing (The Empyrean, #1))
β
I would rather lose this entire war than live without you, and if that means I have to prove myself over and over, then I'll do it. You gave me your heart, and I'm keeping it.
β
β
Rebecca Yarros (Fourth Wing (The Empyrean, #1))
β
Hope is a fickle, dangerous thing. It steals your focus and aims it toward the possibilities instead of keeping it where it belongsβon the probabilities.
β
β
Rebecca Yarros (Fourth Wing (The Empyrean, #1))
β
Fascinating. You look all frail and breakable, but youβre really a violent little thing, arenβt you?
β
β
Rebecca Yarros (Fourth Wing (The Empyrean, #1))
β
Iβm going to keep you. Youβre mine, Violet.β
βOnly if youβre mine.β
βIβve been yours for longer than you could ever imagine.
β
β
Rebecca Yarros (Fourth Wing (The Empyrean, #1))
β
Lies are comforting. Truth is painful.
β
β
Rebecca Yarros (Fourth Wing (The Empyrean, #1))
β
I am the sky and the power of every storm that has ever been. I am infinite.
β
β
Rebecca Yarros (Fourth Wing (The Empyrean, #1))
β
Oh, gods.β
βWhich one are you calling out for? Because itβs just you and me in this room, Vi, and I donβt share.
β
β
Rebecca Yarros (Fourth Wing (The Empyrean, #1))
β
One generation to change the text. One generation chooses to teach that text. The next grows, and the lie becomes history.
β
β
Rebecca Yarros (Fourth Wing (The Empyrean, #1))
β
The right way isnβt the only way.
β
β
Rebecca Yarros (Fourth Wing (The Empyrean, #1))
β
There is nothing more sacred than the Archives. Even temples can be rebuilt, but books cannot be rewritten.
β
β
Rebecca Yarros (Fourth Wing (The Empyrean, #1))
β
Itβs been. My honor.
β
β
Rebecca Yarros (Fourth Wing (The Empyrean, #1))
β
I will not die today.
β
β
Rebecca Yarros (Fourth Wing (The Empyrean, #1))
β
But I will not run. I wouldn't be standing here if I'd quit every time something seemed impossible to overcome. I will not die today.
β
β
Rebecca Yarros (Fourth Wing (The Empyrean, #1))
β
There is no me without you.
β
β
Rebecca Yarros (Fourth Wing (The Empyrean, #1))
β
Should I get the Wingleader?
β
β
Rebecca Yarros (Fourth Wing (The Empyrean, #1))
β
Donβt borrow tomorrowβs trouble.
β
β
Rebecca Yarros (Fourth Wing (The Empyrean, #1))
β
And when others are quick to stand in front of me, Xaden always stands at my side, trusting me to hold my own.
β
β
Rebecca Yarros (Fourth Wing (The Empyrean, #1))
β
Going for blood today, are we, Violence?"
"My name is Violet."
"I think my version fits you better.
β
β
Rebecca Yarros (Fourth Wing (The Empyrean, #1))
β
My breath catches and my body warms, the traitorous bitch. You are not attracted to toxic men, I remind myself, and yet, here I am, getting all attracted.
β
β
Rebecca Yarros (Fourth Wing (The Empyrean, #1))
β
Youβre making us look bad. Stop it.
β
β
Rebecca Yarros (Fourth Wing (The Empyrean, #1))
β
You can't make me fall for you and then die.
β
β
Rebecca Yarros (Fourth Wing (The Empyrean, #1))
β
None of this is worth it without you.
β
β
Rebecca Yarros (Fourth Wing (The Empyrean, #1))
β
You never considered that it was you I couldnβt stay away from?
β
β
Rebecca Yarros (Fourth Wing (The Empyrean, #1))
β
He cares for you. Thatβs already hard enough for him.β
βHe cares about keeping me alive. Thereβs a difference.β
βNot for him there isnβt.
β
β
Rebecca Yarros (Fourth Wing (The Empyrean, #1))
β
Coming in last is better than coming in dead.
β
β
Rebecca Yarros (Fourth Wing (The Empyrean, #1))
β
I am annoyingly aware of everything you do.
β
β
Rebecca Yarros (Fourth Wing (The Empyrean, #1))
β
I'm so wildly in love with you that I can't imagine what my life would even look like without you in it. And I probably shouldn't have said that, but if we're doing this, then we're starting from a place of complete honesty.
β
β
Rebecca Yarros (Fourth Wing (The Empyrean, #1))
β
Thank you, Liam. Thank you for being my shadow. Thank you for being my friend.
β
β
Rebecca Yarros (Fourth Wing (The Empyrean, #1))
β
I donβt deserve you. But Iβm going to keep you all the same.
β
β
Rebecca Yarros (Fourth Wing (The Empyrean, #1))
β
You turned oranges into a weapon, Violence?
β
β
Rebecca Yarros (Fourth Wing (The Empyrean, #1))
β
And strength of courage is more important than physical strength.
β
β
Rebecca Yarros (Fourth Wing (The Empyrean, #1))
β
Iβm justβ¦ not as strong as other riders.β βI know exactly who and what you are, Violet Sorrengail.
β
β
Rebecca Yarros (Fourth Wing (The Empyrean, #1))
β
She can't die, and not just because there's a chance I won't survive. She can't die because I know I can't live without her even if I do.
β
β
Rebecca Yarros (Fourth Wing (The Empyrean, #1))
β
His fingers tangle in my hair. βI fucking love your hair. If you ever want to bring me to my knees or win an argument, just let it down. Iβll get the point.
β
β
Rebecca Yarros (Fourth Wing (The Empyrean, #1))
β
Tairn roars with the unmistakable sound of pride.
"Lightning wielder.
β
β
Rebecca Yarros (Fourth Wing (The Empyrean, #1))
β
You look all frail and breakable, but you're really a violent little thing, aren't you?
β
β
Rebecca Yarros (Fourth Wing (The Empyrean, #1))
β
Youβre not going to handle me?β I call after him, shock raising my brows.
βNot tonight!β he tosses over his shoulder.
I scoff. βWhat are you waiting for?β
βItβs no fun if you expect it,β he answers, striding into the darkness. βNow, get back to bed before your wingleader realizes youβre out after curfew.β
βWhat?β I gawk after him. βYouβre my wingleader!
β
β
Rebecca Yarros (Fourth Wing (The Empyrean, #1))
β
Itβs hard to love a second home as much as the first.β
I swallow. βItβs easy when the second home is the right one.
β
β
Rebecca Yarros (Fourth Wing (The Empyrean, #1))
β
Even when Iβm not with you, thereβs only you.
β
β
Rebecca Yarros (Fourth Wing (The Empyrean, #1))
β
I am completely, utterly obsessed with Xaden.
β
β
Rebecca Yarros (Fourth Wing (The Empyrean, #1))
β
Beautiful. Fucking. Asshole.
β
β
Rebecca Yarros (Fourth Wing (The Empyrean, #1))
β
So then why are you here, Xaden?'
'Because I can't seem to stay away.
β
β
Rebecca Yarros (Fourth Wing (The Empyrean, #1))
β
Dragon relationships are absolutely incomprehensible.β
βYeah? You should try a human one sometime. Just as vicious, but less fire.
β
β
Rebecca Yarros (Fourth Wing (The Empyrean, #1))
β
You have to fight, Vi,' Xaden whispers against my forehead as we move. 'You can hate me all you want when you wake up. You can scream, hit, throw your fucking daggers at me for all I care, but you have to live. You can't make me fall for you and then die. None of this is worth it without you.
β
β
Rebecca Yarros (Fourth Wing (The Empyrean, #1))
β
Killing you wouldnβt be any trouble, Violence. Itβs leaving you alive that seems to cause the majority of my trouble.
β
β
Rebecca Yarros (Fourth Wing (The Empyrean, #1))
β
We can live as cowards or die as riders.
β
β
Rebecca Yarros (Fourth Wing (The Empyrean, #1))
β
Violet Sorrengail,' she whispers, moving closer. 'Are you wearing Riorson's flight jacket?'
Liam's head snaps in my direction, curse his stupidly good hearing.
'Why would you say that?' I do a shitty job of feigning shock and shove the sheaths into every available pocket in this thing. All three of them, which are considerably deeper than the ones in my own jacket.
'Oh, I don't know. Because it's huge on you and there are three stars right here?' She taps where there's only one star on her uniform.
Well, shit. Just goes to show that neither of us was thinking clearly.
'It could be any third-year's.' I shrug.
'With a Fourth Wing shield on the shoulder?' She cocks an eyebrow.
'That does limit it a bit,' I agree.
'And a wingleader emblem beneath those stars?' she teases.
'Fine, it's his.
β
β
Rebecca Yarros (Fourth Wing (The Empyrean, #1))
β
We hadn't even kissed, and I fell.
β
β
Rebecca Yarros (Fourth Wing (The Empyrean, #1))
β
Stop. Fucking. Coddling. Her.
β
β
Rebecca Yarros (Fourth Wing (The Empyrean, #1))
β
Funny how people rename everything that makes them feel uncomfortable.
β
β
Rebecca Yarros (Fourth Wing (The Empyrean, #1))
β
You still love me. It's possible." Gods, do I ache to kiss her, to remind her exactly what we are together, but I won't, not until she asks. "I'm not afraid of hard work, especially not when I know just how sweet the rewards are. I would rather loose this entire war than live without you, and if that means I have to prove myself over and over, then I'll do it. You gave me your heart, and I'm keeping it." She already owns mine, even if she doesn't realize it.
β
β
Rebecca Yarros (Fourth Wing (The Empyrean, #1))
β
Dragons always know.
β
β
Rebecca Yarros (Fourth Wing (The Empyrean, #1))
β
Oh gods.'
'Which one are you calling out for?' he asks against my flesh. 'Because it's just you and me in this room, Vi, and I don't share.'
'You.' My fingers tangle in his hair. 'I'm calling out for you.'
'I appreciate the elevation to deity, but my name will do.
β
β
Rebecca Yarros (Fourth Wing (The Empyrean, #1))
β
You will not fall. I will not allow it.
β
β
Rebecca Yarros (Fourth Wing (The Empyrean, #1))
β
Because I want him. There aren't enough curse words in the word for this.
β
β
Rebecca Yarros (Fourth Wing (The Empyrean, #1))
β
Remember it's only your body thats fragile. You are unbreakable.
- Xaden Riorson
β
β
Rebecca Yarros (Iron Flame (The Empyrean, #2))
β
He yanks me close and kisses my forehead. 'There is no me without you,' he says against my skin.
β
β
Rebecca Yarros (Fourth Wing (The Empyrean, #1))
β
My lungs only fill when hers do, and the time between my heartbeats is filled with sharp, all-consuming fear.
β
β
Rebecca Yarros (Fourth Wing (The Empyrean, #1))
β
Have you always been this tall?' I blurt the first thing that comes to mind.
'No, I was a child at some point.
β
β
Rebecca Yarros (Fourth Wing (The Empyrean, #1))
β
Theyβre accommodations for me. Iβve seen your memories. Iβm not about to have you sticking daggers into my leg to climb up. Now letβs go.
β
β
Rebecca Yarros (Fourth Wing (The Empyrean, #1))
β
I wouldn't be standing here if I'd quit every time something seemed impossible to overcome. I will not die today.
β
β
Rebecca Yarros (Fourth Wing (The Empyrean, #1))
β
And not all strength is physical, Violet.
β
β
Rebecca Yarros (Fourth Wing (The Empyrean, #1))
β
It only takes one desperate generation to change historyβeven erase it.
β
β
Rebecca Yarros (Fourth Wing (The Empyrean, #1))
β
As angry as I am, I canβt imagine a world without him in it. βI need you to survive this, even if I hate that I still love you.β
βI can live with that.
β
β
Rebecca Yarros (Fourth Wing (The Empyrean, #1))
β
My house.
My chair.
My woman.β
- Xaden Riorson
β
β
Rebecca Yarros
β
No one stays friends forever, Mira. Eventually those closest to us become our enemies in some way, even if itβs through well-intentioned love or apathy, or if we live long enough to become their villains.
β
β
Rebecca Yarros (Fourth Wing (The Empyrean, #1))
β
β¦so as of this moment, Iβm taking over.β
βTaking over what?β
βEverything when it comes to you.
β
β
Rebecca Yarros (Fourth Wing (The Empyrean, #1))
β
You love me, and-'
'Loved,' I correct him, sidestepping so I can get some fucking space and then taking it.
'Love!' he shouts, stopping me in my tracks and earning us a glance from every rider within hearing distance. 'You love me.
β
β
Rebecca Yarros (Fourth Wing (The Empyrean, #1))
β
Or maybe Iβm his. Who fucking cares as long as he keeps kissing me?
β
β
Rebecca Yarros (Fourth Wing (The Empyrean, #1))
β
If I asked you to stay behind, would you?' His eyes bore into mine.
'No.'
'Exactly. I try not to pick fights I know I can't win.
β
β
Rebecca Yarros (Fourth Wing (The Empyrean, #1))
β
I thought you said kissing me was a mistake.β
βIt was. Iβm just teaching you that blades arenβt the only way to disarm an opponent. Tell me, Violence, are you disarmed?
β
β
Rebecca Yarros (Fourth Wing (The Empyrean, #1))
β
Justice is not always merciful.
β
β
Rebecca Yarros (Fourth Wing (The Empyrean, #1))
β
Did you ever once stop to think that sometimes you can start out on the right side of a war and end up on the wrong one?
β
β
Rebecca Yarros (Fourth Wing (The Empyrean, #1))
β
You are the smartest of your year. The most cunning.β I gulp at the compliment, brushing it off. I was trained as a scribe, not a rider. βYou defended the smallest with ferocity. And strength of courage is more important than physical strength. Since you apparently need to know before we land.
β
β
Rebecca Yarros (Fourth Wing (The Empyrean, #1))
β
I'm used to functioning in pain, asshole. Are you?
β
β
Rebecca Yarros (Fourth Wing (The Empyrean, #1))
β
Remember that folklore is passed from one generation to the next to teach us about our past. If we lose it, we lose the links to our past. It only takes one desperate generation to change history- even erase it.
β
β
Rebecca Yarros (Fourth Wing (The Empyrean, #1))
β
Fuck, that stubborn, feisty look always makes me want to kiss you.β
βAnd you say this now, where people will see if you actually do.β
βWhen did I ever give you the impression that I give a fuck what people think about me?
β
β
Rebecca Yarros (Fourth Wing (The Empyrean, #1))
β
But if we let fear kill whatever this is between us, then we donβt deserve it.
β
β
Rebecca Yarros (Fourth Wing (The Empyrean, #1))
β
Gets-you-into-trouble-and-you-like-it level of hot.
β
β
Rebecca Yarros (Fourth Wing (The Empyrean, #1))
β
There's nowhere in existence you could go that I wouldn't find you, Violence.
β
β
Rebecca Yarros (Fourth Wing (The Empyrean, #1))
β
Have I told you how beautiful you look tonight?' HIs voice lowers. 'If not, I'm a fool, because you are magnificently beautiful.
β
β
Rebecca Yarros (Fourth Wing (The Empyrean, #1))
β
Try not to die.'
'Working on it.
β
β
Rebecca Yarros (Fourth Wing (The Empyrean, #1))
β
You want to know why youβre still alive? Every day I let you live, I get to convince myself that thereβs still a part of me thatβs a decent person.
β
β
Rebecca Yarros (Fourth Wing (The Empyrean, #1))
β
Ditch the books. Dad canβt save you. He tried. I tried. Decide, Violet. Are you going to die a scribe? Or live as a rider?
β
β
Rebecca Yarros (Fourth Wing (The Empyrean, #1))
β
Iβve always thought she was a better match for you.β
βI know the feeling well. And you are strong and fierce and have a ruthless streak, too. Not to mention youβre the smartest person Iβve ever met. That mind of yours is sexy as hell. Imogen and I are just friends. Trust me, she wasnβt looking at me, and even if she wereβ¦Gods help me, Iβm only looking at you.
β
β
Rebecca Yarros (Fourth Wing (The Empyrean, #1))
β
Your arm is shot, Sorrengail,β Tynan hisses, his face pale and sweaty. βIβm used to functioning in pain, asshole. Are you?β I raise the dagger in my right hand just to prove that I can despite the blood that runs down my arm and drips from the tip of my blade, saturating the wrap across my palm. My gaze drops meaningfully to his side.
β
β
Rebecca Yarros (Fourth Wing (The Empyrean, #1))
β
You're still looking.'
...
'You make it hard to look away.'
...
'I'm over here keeping my hands and memories to myself because you asked me to, and you're fucking me with your eyes. That's not playing fair.'
...
'Told you to stop staring.'
...
'If you'd just man up and admit there's something between us, I would strip down to my skin so you could see every single inch of me. And once I had you begging, I'd drop down to my knees, undo those flight leathers you're wearing, and wrap my lips around-'
Xaden chokes.
Every head in the dining hall turns his way, and Garrick pounds on his back until Xaden waves him off, taking a drink of his water.
I grin, which earns me about six looks of confusion from our table and one set of rolled eyes from Liam.
'You're going to be the death of me.
β
β
Rebecca Yarros (Fourth Wing (The Empyrean, #1))
β
His eyes darken. βIβm going to keep you,β he promises, just like he did last night. Or was it this morning? βYouβre mine, Violet.β I lift my chin. βOnly if youβre mine.β βIβve been yours for longer than you could ever imagine.β As if the words untether him, he clutches the nape of my neck and kisses me long and hard, stealing every breath, every thought beyond the sweep of his tongue and the rising tide of need that heats my skin.
β
β
Rebecca Yarros (Fourth Wing (The Empyrean, #1))
β
Did I see her outnumbered and already wounded? Did I think her bravery was as admirable as it was fucking reckless?β He turns that stare on me, and I feel the impact all the way to my toes.
βAnd I would do it again.β I raise my chin.
βWell-the-fuck-aware,β Xaden roars, losing his temper for the first time since I met him on Parapet.
β
β
Rebecca Yarros (Fourth Wing (The Empyrean, #1))
β
Tell him if he harms you, I'll scorch the ground where he stands.'
'Oh, for fuck's sake, Tairn.' I roll my eyes and walk to Dain, whose jaw is locked, but his eyes are wide with apprehension.
'Tell him, or I'll take it up with Cath.'
'Tairn says if you harm me, he'll burn you,' I say as dragons to the left and right launch skyward without their riders, headed back to the Vale. But not Tairn. Nope, he's still standing behind me like an overprotective dad.
'I'm not going to harm you, ' Dain snaps.
'Word for word, Silver One.'
I blow a breath out slowly. 'Sorry, he actually said, if you harm me, he'll scorch the ground where you stand.' I turn and look over my shoulder. 'Better?'
Tairn blinks.
Dain keeps his eyes on me, but I see it there, the swirling anger Tairn warned me about. 'I would rather die than harm you, and you know it.
β
β
Rebecca Yarros (Fourth Wing (The Empyrean, #1))
β
Then he guides our hands back to my ribs and slides the ruby-hilted blade back into its sheath.
The move is unnervinglyβ¦hot.
βYouβre not going to disarm me?β I challenge as he releases his grip and pushes up more, removing his weight from my body. My ribs expand as I take my first full breath.
βNope. Defenseless women have never been my type.
β
β
Rebecca Yarros (Fourth Wing (The Empyrean, #1))
β
Let's go, Violet Sorrengail.' He lifts his head, and the golden dragon peeks out from under his wing.
'How do you know my name?' I gawk up at him.
'And to think, I'd almost forgotten just how loquacious humans are.' He sighs, the gust of his breath rattling the trees. 'Get on my back.'
Oh. Shit. He's choosing... me.
'Get on your back?' I repeat like a fucking parrot. 'Have you seen you? Do you have any idea how huge you are?' I'd need a damned ladder to get up there.
The look he gives me can only be described as annoyance. 'One does not live a century without being well aware of the space one takes up. Now get on.
β
β
Rebecca Yarros (Fourth Wing (The Empyrean, #1))
β
I hold up my middle finger and keep my eyes forward. Not that I don't like Liam, but I'm still pissed at Xaden for assigning him.
Liam snorts and grins, flashing his dimple. 'And now he's glaring. Tell me, is it fun pissing off the most powerful rider in the quadrant?'
'You could try it yourself and find out,' I suggest, opening my notebook to the next empty page. I can't turn around. I won't. Wanting Xaden is fine. It has to be. Indulging the impulses it gives me? That's asinine.
'That's going to be a no from me.
β
β
Rebecca Yarros (Fourth Wing (The Empyrean, #1))
β
I know. I made it my business to know everything there was to know about you the second I saw you on the parapet.'
'Because that's not creepy.' I let the coffee warm my freezing hands.
'Can't know how to ruin someone without understanding them first,' he says quietly.
I lift my gaze to find that his is already on me. 'And is that still your plan?' Mira's words have haunted me for two days.
He flinches. 'No.'
'What changed?' Frustration tightens my grip on the mug. 'When exactly did you decide not to ruin me?'
'Maybe it was when I saw Oren holding a knife to your throat,' he says. 'Or maybe it was when I realised the bruises on your neck were fingerprints and wanted to kill them all over again just so I could do it slowly. Maybe it was the first time I recklessly kissed you or when I realised I'm fucked because I can't stop thinking about doing more than just kissing you.' My breath catches at his admission, but he just sighs, lets his head fall back against the wall. 'Does it even matter when, as long as it changed between us?'
'Don't do that,' I whisper, and he lifts his head again to hold my gaze.
'Do what? Tell you I can't get you out of my head? Or speak directly into yours?'
'Either.
β
β
Rebecca Yarros (Fourth Wing (The Empyrean, #1))
β
His thumbs stroke over the soft skin under my ears, and his gaze drops before he suddenly lets go and retreats a full step. 'Damn it. Touching you was a bad idea.'
'The worst.' I agree, but my tongue skims my lower lip.
He groans and my core melts at the sound. 'Kissing you would be a cataclysmic mistake.'
'Calamitous.' What would it take to hear that groan again?
The inches between us feel like kindling, ready to burn at the first suggestion of hear, and I'm a living, breathing flame. This is everything I should run from, and yet denying the primal attraction I feel is completely, utterly impossible.
'We'll both regret it.' He shakes his head, but there's more than hunger in his eyes as he stares at my lips.
'Naturally,' I whisper. But knowing I'll regret it doesn't stop me from wanting it- wanting him. Regretting is a problem for future Violet.
'Fuck it.'
One second he's out of reach and the next his mouth is on mine, hot and insistent.
Gods, yes. This is exactly what I need.
β
β
Rebecca Yarros (Fourth Wing (The Empyrean, #1))
β
Whenever you give up an apartment in New York and move to another city, New York turns into the worst version of itself. Someone I know once wisely said that the expression "It's a nice place to visit, but I wouldn't want to live there" is completely wrong where New York is concerned; the opposite is true. New York is a very livable city. But when you move away and become a vistor, the city seems to turn against you. It's much more expensive (because you need to eat all your meals out and pay for a place to sleep) and much more unfriendly. Things change in New York; things change all the time. You don't mind this when you live here; when you live here, it's part of the caffeinated romance to this city that never sleeps. But when you move away, your experience change as a betrayal. You walk up Third Avenue planning to buy a brownie at a bakery you've always been loyal to, and the bakery's gone. Your dry cleaner move to Florida; your dentist retires; the lady who made the pies on West Fourth Street vanishes; the maitre d' at P.J. Clarke's quits, and you realize you're going to have to start from scratch tipping your way into the heart of the cold, chic young woman now at the down. You've turned your back from only a moment, and suddenly everything's different. You were an insider, a native, a subway traveler, a purveyor of inside tips into the good stuff, and now you're just another frequent flyer, stuck in a taxi on Grand Central Parkway as you wing in and out of La Guardia. Meanwhile, you rad that Manhattan rents are going up, they're climbing higher, they're reached the stratosphere. It seems that the moment you left town, they put a wall around the place, and you will never manage to vault over it and get back into the city again.
β
β
Nora Ephron (I Feel Bad About My Neck, And Other Thoughts on Being a Woman)
β
He is thinking about asymmetry. This is a world, he is thinking, where you can lie in bed, listening to a song as you dream about someone you love, and your feelings and the music will resonate so powerfully and completely that it seems impossible that the beloved, whoever and wherever he or she might be, should not know, should not pick up this signal as it pulsates from your heart, as if you and the music and the love and the whole universe have merged into one force that can be chanelled out into the darkness to bring them this message. But, in actuality, not only will he or she not know, there is nothing to stop that other person from lying on his or her bed at the exact moment listening to the exact same song and thinking about someone else entirely-from aiming those identical feelings in some completely opposite direction, at some totally other person, who may in turn be lying in the dark thinking of another person still, a fourth, who is thinking of a fifth, and so on, and so on, so that rather than a universe of neatly reciprocating pairs, love and love-returned fluttering through space nicely and symmetrically like so many pairs of butterfly wings, instead we get chains of yearning, which sprawl and meander and culminate in an infinite number of dead ends.
β
β
Paul Murray (Skippy Dies)
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I know why you said you don't see a future for us.' My heart races like it's trying to take flight as I blurt out the words.
'Do you?' Of course he isn't going to make this easy. I'm not sure the man even knows what easy is.
'You want me,' I say, looking him in the eyes. 'And no, I'm not just talking about in bed. You. Want. Me, Xaden Riorson. You might not say it, but you do one better and show it. You show it every time you choose to trust me, every time your eyes linger on mine. You show it with every sparring lesson you don't have time for and every flight lesson that pulls you away from your own studies. You show it when you refuse to touch me because you're worried I don't really want you, then show it again when you take the time to hunt down violets before a leadership meeting so I don't wake up feeling alone. You show it in a million different ways. Please don't deny it.'
His jaw flexes, but he doesn't deny it.
'You think we don't have a future because you're scared that I won't like who you really are behind all those walls you keep. And I@m scared, too. I can admit it. You're graduating. I'm not. You'll be gone in a matter of weeks, and we're probably setting ourselves up for heartbreak. But if we let fear kill whatever this is between us, then we don't deserve it.' I lift one hand to the back of his neck. 'I told you that I was the one who would decide when I'm ready to risk my heart, and I'm saying it.'
The way he looks at me, with the same mix of hope and apprehension currently flooding my system, gives me absolute life.
'You don't mean that,' he says, shaking his head.
And there he goes, sucking the life right out again.
'I mean it.
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Rebecca Yarros (Fourth Wing (The Empyrean, #1))