“
I thought to myself, time was never on my side—after all of this, it was, because it led me to the right place at the right time.
”
”
Charlena E. Jackson (Pinwheels and Dandelions)
“
Yesteryear, you will never be forgotten. I am healing, and it is a beautiful thing.
”
”
Charlena E. Jackson (Pinwheels and Dandelions)
“
Art uses truth and beauty—both of which can be quite ugly, even as that ugliness is transcended—to foster change, growth, love, perception, friendship. Something that doesn’t do that can be great. But I wouldn’t call it art […]
”
”
Colin Fleming
“
Your judgments about another person say more about your own character than the character of the person you are pointing a finger at.
This is the key and one of the most fundamental insights about the ‘red flags’ that we often dismiss regarding the people in our lives. If someone complains a lot to you about other people, guess what? That is part of their current character. And, as quickly as the tide changes, you can just as easily become the person they target and criticize, point fingers at, and negatively judge. Forever and always, until vibrations are raised, this will be the cycle of the relationship. So, it’s your choice to continue to engage in the cycle with them, or to move on.
There are plenty of people who do not criticize, point fingers, or judge. THIS is the kind of character we want to foster within ourselves. THIS is the character of the kind of people we DO want to develop close relationships with.
”
”
Alaric Hutchinson (Living Peace: Essential Teachings For Enriching Life)
“
Coffee is a warm drink that fosters friendship and tastes great. What more is there to life?
”
”
Kevin Sinnott (The Art and Craft of Coffee: An Enthusiast's Guide to Selecting, Roasting, and Brewing Exquisite Coffee)
“
If we are a people rich in social relationships, we are rich indeed. Whenever we develop significant friendships with those who are not like us culturally, we become broader, wiser persons.
”
”
Richard J. Foster (Streams of Living Water: Celebrating the Great Traditions of Christ)
“
The question is”—his eyes locked with hers—“when are you taking me to go get some of these magical E.L. Fudge thingies? Because they’re officially a need, Foster. I neeeeeeeeeeeed tiny elf-shaped cookies in my life. I can’t believe you’ve never brought me any before! In fact, I kinda feel like that’s a betrayal of our friendship!” The question was so unexpected that Sophie couldn’t stop the loud snort-laugh from bursting out, which of course was followed by a fit of embarrassed giggles. “You’re not laughing your way out of this one either, Miss F!” Keefe warned her. “I expect another cookie delivery ASAP
”
”
Shannon Messenger (Legacy (Keeper of the Lost Cities, #8))
“
He sounds so tired. "I know if there was any choice at all, they wouldn't have left me alone. They would have made sure I was taken care of."
In a heartbeat, a thousand memories at once. All the times I knew things I couldn't have known. All the times he was assigned to me.
"Julian," I say, "maybe they did.
”
”
Robin Roe (A List of Cages)
“
During the day, my mood is cloudy, uncertain, blurred, depressing, and there is so much fog I can’t see the sun, nor do I have a head's up that the rain is coming. I wish just one day my mood could at least be fair skies.
”
”
Charlena E. Jackson (Pinwheels and Dandelions)
“
I believe there are a lot of devils who walk on this earth. They just look like human beings.
”
”
Charlena E. Jackson (The Stars Choose Our Lovers)
“
~Pinwheels and Dandelions~
”
”
Charlena E. Jackson (Pinwheels and Dandelions)
“
Dear Yesteryear,
I do not feel alone anymore. I have found love. Maybe I should say love has found me. Well, to be fair, we found each other. Yesterday, I didn’t have a home. Yesterday, I didn’t have a pillow where I could lay my head. Yesterday, it was hard to find peace. Yesterday, I wondered if morning would ever come. Yesterday, I was unable to love, dream, and trust. Yesterday, I didn’t understand life. Yesterday, I was walking in my shadow. I didn’t know if I had meaning or a purpose.
I am healing from my yesteryears. However, I am still rough around the edges and still have a lot to learn. I used to be so empty inside, but now I have lovely people to fill my no-longer-empty arms. Yesterday, my path was different. I was confused, not knowing if I should go right or left— move forward or turn around. I do not know what life has in store, but I know for a fact that I do not have to worry about the deadly and narrow path anymore.
Yesterday, my sun was blocked by my shadows and everything thing else that came along that didn’t serve me. However, today, the sun is shining brighter than it ever has in my entire life.
Yesterday, I will never forget you. You’ve taught me many lessons. I was taught lessons that a young person should never experience or even know about. Some lessons in life leave permitted marks. There have been many lessons I’ve learned that have left so many scars on my heart, but life goes on. I use to be overwhelmed by hate, disbelief, and not knowing if I was going to make it. Now, I am surrounded by warm hugs, smiles, love, and peace.
Yesteryear, you will never be forgotten. I am healing, and it is a beautiful thing.
”
”
Charlena E. Jackson (Pinwheels and Dandelions)
“
You can't foster a relationship with someone who is always checking your performance to make sure it's adequate enough to merit his friendship.
”
”
Jake Colsen (So You Don't Want to Go to Church Anymore: An Unexpected Journey)
“
As surely as the sunset in my latest November
shall translate me to the ethereal world,
and remind me of the ruddy morning of youth;
as surely as the last strain of music which falls on my decaying ear
shall make age to be forgotten,
or, in short, the manifold influences of nature
survive during the term of our natural life,
so surely my Friend shall forever be my Friend,
and reflect a ray of God to me,
and time shall foster and adorn and consecrate our Friendship,
no less than the ruins of temples.
”
”
Henry David Thoreau (Henry David Thoreau: A Week, Walden, The Maine Woods, Cape Cod)
“
Talk is by far the most accessible of pleasures. It costs nothing in money, it is all profit, it completes our education, founds and fosters our friendships, and can be enjoyed at any age and in almost any state of health.
”
”
Robert Louis Stevenson
“
It is like I am on a merry-go-round; it just keeps going in circles, round and round—and another go-round I go. When will I be able to get off?
”
”
Charlena E. Jackson (Pinwheels and Dandelions)
“
Love spreads so wide that it covers the face of the earth, and it is endless in the universe.
”
”
Charlena E. Jackson (Pinwheels and Dandelions)
“
Fame's overrated... friendship's not.
”
”
Elizabeth Foster (Esme's Wish (Esme, #1))
“
Yet, I still somehow and somewhere let love shine through the darkest hours, which lead to days. However, just like the wildflower, I am still here.
”
”
Charlena E. Jackson (Pinwheels and Dandelions)
“
The never-ending sky seemed like it was falling on me. However, now the endless skies had been lifted and are filled with unlimited opportunities.
”
”
Charlena E. Jackson (Pinwheels and Dandelions)
“
I am drenched in love and loving it!
”
”
Charlena E. Jackson (Pinwheels and Dandelions)
“
How much better can life get than this? So much better!
”
”
Charlena E. Jackson (Pinwheels and Dandelions)
“
I never knew my life was precious until a selfless human being saved it.
”
”
Charlena E. Jackson (Pinwheels and Dandelions)
“
The fruits of charity are joy, peace, and mercy; charity demands beneficence and fraternal correction; it 2540 is benevolence; it fosters reciprocity and remains disinterested and generous; it is friendship and communion:
”
”
Catholic Church (Catechism of the Catholic Church)
“
We'll just sit here," said Barney, "and if we think of anything worth while saying we'll say it. Otherwise, not. Don't imagine you're bound to talk to me."
"John Foster says," quoted Valancy, "'If you can sit in silence
with a person for half an hour and yet be entirely comfortable, you
and that person can be friends. If you cannot, friends you'll
never be and you need not waste time in trying.'"
"Evidently John Foster says a sensible thing once in a while,"
conceded Barney.
”
”
L.M. Montgomery
“
In short, the first duty of a man is to speak; that is his chief business in this world; and talk, which is the harmonious speech of two or more, is by far the most accessible of pleasures. It costs nothing in money; it is all profit; it completes our education, founds and fosters our friendships, and can be enjoyed at any age and in almost any state of health.
”
”
Robert Louis Stevenson (Memories and Portraits)
“
Principles of Liberty
1. The only reliable basis for sound government and just human relations is Natural Law.
2. A free people cannot survive under a republican constitution unless they remain virtuous and morally strong.
3. The most promising method of securing a virtuous and morally strong people is to elect virtuous leaders.
4. Without religion the government of a free people cannot be maintained.
5. All things were created by God, therefore upon him all mankind are equally dependent, and to Him they are equally responsible.
6. All men are created equal.
7. The proper role of government is to protect equal rights, not provide equal things.
8. Men are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights.
9. To protect man's rights, God has revealed certain principles of divine law.
10. The God-given right to govern is vested in the sovereign authority of the whole people.
11. The majority of the people may alter or abolish a government which has become tyrannical.
12. The United States of America shall be a republic.
13. A constitution should be structured to permanently protect the people from the human frailties of their rulers.
14. Life and Liberty are secure only so long as the Igor of property is secure.
15. The highest level of securitiy occurs when there is a free market economy and a minimum of government regulations.
16. The government should be separated into three branches: legislative, executive, and judicial.
17. A system of checks and balances should be adopted to prevent the abuse of power.
18. The unalienable rights of the people are most likely to be preserved if the principles of government are set forth in a written constitution.
19. Only limited and carefully defined powers should be delegated to the government, all others being retained by the people.
20. Efficiency and dispatch require government to operate according to the will of the majority, but constitutional provisions must be made to protect the rights of the minority.
21. Strong human government is the keystone to preserving human freedom.
22. A free people should be governed by law and not by the whims of men.
23. A free society cannot survive a republic without a broad program of general education.
24. A free people will not survive unless they stay strong.
25. "Peace, commerce, and honest friendship with all nations; entangling alliances with none."
26. The core unit which determines the strength of any society is the family; therefore, the government should foster and protect its integrity.
27. The burden of debt is as destructive to freedom as subjugation by conquest.
28. The United States has a manifest destiny to be an example and a blessing to the entire human race.
”
”
Founding Fathers
“
I always wondered how a wildflower can be so soft when it is stepped on and covered by weeds. It is because the earth has covered it in boundless, endless love. I am a wildflower; there is no such thing as being tamed; we take what is given and somehow find our way.
”
”
Charlena E. Jackson (Pinwheels and Dandelions)
“
I know it is hard to trust, but sometimes we have to take a chance. There was a time when nobody could put out my fire, not even water. The wind knew my pain because it helped fuel my fire, and it spread effortlessly without even trying. My heart was bruised in ways that nobody could ever imagine. However, I survived. I’ve had many days that used to be uncertain. Now, I am exactly where I belong. I am home.
”
”
Charlena E. Jackson (Pinwheels and Dandelions)
“
friendship is fostered, not found.
”
”
Ellen Hendriksen (How to Be Yourself: Quiet Your Inner Critic and Rise Above Social Anxiety)
“
Why do I have to fight all the time when I just want to have peace? Why is it so hard for me to find peace? It shouldn’t be this difficult to find.
”
”
Charlena E. Jackson (Pinwheels and Dandelions)
“
Everyone was like devils with snakes’ eyes trying to coil me up as they tried to suffocate me.
”
”
Charlena E. Jackson (Pinwheels and Dandelions)
“
It is not fair that I continue to get the shitty sides on both ends of the stick.
”
”
Charlena E. Jackson (Pinwheels and Dandelions)
“
Life is not fair, and most definitely, the rules of life are made up and never followed.
”
”
Charlena E. Jackson (Pinwheels and Dandelions)
“
…And here I am ... thinking of the never-ending uneven path that I am still traveling down—not knowing where it is going to lead me.
”
”
Charlena E. Jackson (Pinwheels and Dandelions)
“
Once again, I tried to explain. I was my own lawyer, and I represented and tried to defend my innocence, but as always, it fell on deaf ears.
”
”
Charlena E. Jackson (Pinwheels and Dandelions)
“
I do not know how to start over because I do not know where to begin.
”
”
Charlena E. Jackson (Pinwheels and Dandelions)
“
If I was a book, I would be better off left on the shelf. There is no excitement in my life—only struggles.
”
”
Charlena E. Jackson (Pinwheels and Dandelions)
“
I am a book that nobody can understand or read. Sadly, without a care, they were quick to rip out the pages.
”
”
Charlena E. Jackson (Pinwheels and Dandelions)
“
I am a book that nobody can understand or read
”
”
Charlena E. Jackson (Pinwheels and Dandelions)
“
did one thing wrong, they would give up on me.
”
”
Charlena E. Jackson (Pinwheels and Dandelions)
“
What’s the point of it all when I never had an opportunity to make a mistake? If I did one thing wrong, they would give up on me.
”
”
Charlena E. Jackson (Pinwheels and Dandelions)
“
I’ve always been fully exposed and had to walk in a line filled with sharp curves from disappointment to disappointment.
”
”
Charlena E. Jackson (Pinwheels and Dandelions)
“
Sorrow is my aura, and sadness hugs me tightly.
”
”
Charlena E. Jackson (Pinwheels and Dandelions)
“
It is hard to cry when my eyes are closed shut by the barbed wire fence of my eyelashes as they prohibit tears from falling.
”
”
Charlena E. Jackson (Pinwheels and Dandelions)
“
What’s the point of complicating my life? I am always back to where I started, and then ... I relive the same patterns, but on a more difficult journey.
”
”
Charlena E. Jackson (Pinwheels and Dandelions)
“
I believe when you put yourself in your own mess that you should clean it up and start over. What’s wrong with that? Nothing.
”
”
Charlena E. Jackson (Pinwheels and Dandelions)
“
I am so empty inside. I make-believe and imagine the dragonflies have filled my empty arms of darkness with light.
”
”
Charlena E. Jackson (Pinwheels and Dandelions)
“
Memories hit me as if lightning had struck my chest.
”
”
Charlena E. Jackson (Pinwheels and Dandelions)
“
I am aligned with the frequency and vibration of the moon and the stars.
”
”
Charlena E. Jackson (Pinwheels and Dandelions)
“
Hope swallowed fear whole as I couldn’t make room for any kind of negative thinking.
”
”
Charlena E. Jackson (Pinwheels and Dandelions)
“
I do not know how many times I pretended to smile with moist eyes. Nobody knows how many times I pretended to smile with moist eyes because nobody noticed.
”
”
Charlena E. Jackson (Pinwheels and Dandelions)
“
My tears are just like how people see me—they are invisible. My tears have filled the ocean. I would think the ocean would favor me by now and offer me a life jacket.
”
”
Charlena E. Jackson (Pinwheels and Dandelions)
“
Not all tears are meant for mourning.
”
”
Charlena E. Jackson (Pinwheels and Dandelions)
“
My shadow had left, and the darkness had been shredded in my life.
”
”
Charlena E. Jackson (Pinwheels and Dandelions)
“
I never thought it is was easy to wipe away your tears when you are used to crying endlessly on the inside.
”
”
Charlena E. Jackson (Pinwheels and Dandelions)
“
I wonder what unconditional love is? In my world, unconditional love is blowing dandelions in the daytime and hugging the stars during the night. I guess that’s all the love I need.
”
”
Charlena E. Jackson (Pinwheels and Dandelions)
“
They failed to realize my life was bitter, cutthroat, and fucking sour. I have never been spared grace or mercy. I knew my life purpose was for me to be in pain every second of my life.
”
”
Charlena E. Jackson (Pinwheels and Dandelions)
“
Yesterday, my sun was blocked by my shadows and everything thing else that came along that didn’t serve me. However, today, the sun is shining brighter than it ever has in my entire life.
”
”
Charlena E. Jackson (Pinwheels and Dandelions)
“
Usually, I am lost in my mind because of uncertainties from not knowing what the next nanosecond will hold. However, I do what I do best. I keep it moving, hoping and wishing for better days.
”
”
Charlena E. Jackson (Pinwheels and Dandelions)
“
In post-modern culture there is a deep hunger to belong. An increasing majority of people feel isolated and marginalised. Experience is haunted by fragmentation. Many of the traditional shelters are in ruins. Society is losing the art of fostering community. Consumerism is now propelling life towards the lonely isolation of individualism. Technology pretends to unite us, yet more often than not all it delivers are simulated images. The “global village” has no roads or neighbours; it is a faceless limbo from which all individuality has been abstracted. Politics seems devoid of the imagination that calls forth vision and ideals; it is becoming ever more synonymous with the functionalism of economic pragmatism. Many of the keepers of the great religious traditions now seem to be frightened functionaries; in a more uniform culture, their management skills would be efficient and successful. In a pluralistic and deeply fragmented culture, they seem unable to converse with the complexities and hungers of our longing. From this perspective, it seems that we are in the midst of a huge crisis of belonging. When the outer cultural shelters are in ruins, we need to explore and reawaken the depths of belonging in the human mind and soul; perhaps, the recognition of the depth of our hunger to belong may gradually assist us in awakening new and unexpected possibilities of community and friendship.
”
”
John O'Donohue (Eternal Echoes: Celtic Reflections on Our Yearning to Belong)
“
I am lost. I wonder who lives behind my eyes. I guess a lost little child who never grew up. However, I was forced to grow up, but I never had a chance to experience the sweet and playful side of life.
”
”
Charlena E. Jackson (Pinwheels and Dandelions)
“
I guess the saying goes just when you think people aren’t looking— they are. I see now that saying goes for the good and the bad. Therefore, I always have to be aware, not only of my surroundings but of myself.
”
”
Charlena E. Jackson (Pinwheels and Dandelions)
“
I noticed that when people get themselves in some shit, they get stuck in their own mess. They are confident that they do not have to deal with the consequences—because they know the ‘kind’ person will bail them out.
”
”
Charlena E. Jackson
“
Tears have entangled in our eyelashes as I look through them—I see only the world for what it is, and it is blurry. I was born into a blurry world. I share a mirror full of tears because what you see is what you get.
”
”
Charlena E. Jackson (Pinwheels and Dandelions)
“
I found myself standing still, waiting for the last grain of sand in the hourglass to make its final landing. I wouldn’t think a grain of sand could change my life, but it did because my time ran out for that particular season.
”
”
Charlena E. Jackson (Pinwheels and Dandelions)
“
I believe when you put yourself in your own mess that you should clean it up and start over. What’s wrong with that? Nothing. However, when someone else puts you in their mess, you do not know how to clean up the mess they’ve made.
”
”
Charlena E. Jackson (Pinwheels and Dandelions)
“
What’s the point of it all when I never had an opportunity to make a mistake? If I did one thing wrong, they would give up on me. I’ve always been fully exposed and had to walk in a line filled with sharp curves from disappointment to disappointment.
”
”
Charlena E. Jackson (Pinwheels and Dandelions)
“
Everyone was like devils with snakes’ eyes trying to coil me up as they tried to suffocate me. Their actions squeezed me until my vision was blurry, and darkness covered my soul. They worked overtime trying to hypnotize me and bury me with their lies.
”
”
Charlena E. Jackson (Pinwheels and Dandelions)
“
I have had many tears stains on our cheeks. Inflamed tears from hurt and red-eye. Bullets of tears from surviving the wars and battles I have lost. Tears from suffering when they tore me apart. Exhaustion tears from always not knowing how to settle my mind.
”
”
Charlena E. Jackson (Pinwheels and Dandelions)
“
I am looking at the clouds and wondering how long the cloud will last in my life. I’ve had so many cloudy days; sadly, I forget how the sun looks and feels. My eyes are sensitive to the daylight, but they are immune to the darkness with just the right kind of light from the stars.
”
”
Charlena E. Jackson (Pinwheels and Dandelions)
“
I can read them and go anywhere I want to in my mind, but after I close the book, I will have to snap out of my fantasy world and welcome the cruel cold world, which is reality. If I was a book, I would be better off left on the shelf. There is no excitement in my life—only struggles.
”
”
Charlena E. Jackson (Pinwheels and Dandelions)
“
She brought a chair into the room and placed it alongside the top of his bed. Then she held his hand as he drifted off to sleep. It was so small in her own hand, and it felt warm and dry. She pressed his hand gently, and his fingers returned the pressure, but only just, as he was almost asleep by then. She remembered, but not very well, what it was to fall asleep holding the hand of another; how precious such an experience, how fortunate those to whom it was vouchsafed by the gods of Friendship, or of Love. She thought she had forgotten that, but now she remembered.
”
”
Alexander McCall Smith (Bertie's Guide to Life and Mothers (44 Scotland Street, #9))
“
I am lost in a maze that you set up for yourself—and you too are lost in your own maze. When a person gets lost in their own maze, they are really fucked up. However, this maze shouldn’t be left for me to figure out. Unfortunately, I am in it, and I have to find my way out one way or another.
”
”
Charlena E. Jackson (Pinwheels and Dandelions)
“
When someone else puts you in their mess, you do not know how to clean up the mess they’ve made. You do not know how to start over because you do not know where to begin. I look at it this way; it is like telling a dead person he/she can start over. How so, when that person’s life no longer exists?
”
”
Charlena E. Jackson (Pinwheels and Dandelions)
“
I am tired of the lifeless tears. I’ve cried so many bitter tears of yesterday because tomorrow has never come. I am immune to salty tears as I drown in an ocean of tears over and over again. When will I be able to come up for air? Sadly, life dunks my head underwater again as I cry while tears are buried beneath my sheets at night.
”
”
Charlena E. Jackson (Pinwheels and Dandelions)
“
My soul is no different from a Lotus flower. I didn’t start my journey in fresh water because my environment was not pleasant. Just like a Lotus flower, my life was surrounded by insects, debris, and so many unpleasant things and people. However, just like the Lotus petals are never contaminated by the murky water, my core remained pure. Just like the Lotus flower, I came from a place of suffering. However, I remained true to myself. I have overcome many obstacles in my life. I am proud of myself—because this time, I jumped a little higher over the hurdles. I have finished the never-ending race. I have officially crossed the finish line and have a fresh start! I am renewed, and I am loved!
”
”
Charlena E. Jackson (Pinwheels and Dandelions)
“
I had a bad dream. The sky was falling down, and the moon disappeared. The stars fell into the ocean, and the ocean had a lot of smoke coming from it because the water put the stars' light out. I found myself talking in my sleep, begging the moon not to give up on me. I am willing to turn my life around if the moon and stars give me another chance.
”
”
Charlena E. Jackson (Pinwheels and Dandelions)
“
I’m sure my eyes look sad from the outside, but nobody knows the pain behind my eyes. Sad eyes, do you know how to smile? I’m sure you would know if you weren’t so tired all of the time. Sad eyes, do you know how to rest? No, I have to strain my eyes in the dark because who else would watch my back. Sad eyes, there’s no such thing as rest—that is only wishful thinking.
”
”
Charlena E. Jackson (Pinwheels and Dandelions)
“
I noticed regardless if they are surrounded by weeds, they still grow, and they are so colorful because there isn’t anyone to intervene with the process of Mother Nature. They know what to do. It comes naturally. I think everything should happen naturally, but that is impossible because humans are good at interfering with the natural process of life. They fuck it up, and that is why things are so complicated. They think they know what is best, but in reality, they are just in the way. They make things worse than they should be. If human beings just let nature take its course, I believe we would have more happy people in the world ... as opposed to people who suffer by the hands and actions of someone who has fucked up their life. Then they have to figure it out alone—regardless of age.
”
”
Charlena E. Jackson (Pinwheels and Dandelions)
“
I’ve cried a thousand tears, if not millions. Echoes of tears keep calling my name from the past, but I cannot look back. I have to keep pushing and moving forward. I cannot bury myself in my tears. Yes, it seems like I’ve cried ‘everyday' tears. However, one day, the first tear of the day will be a tear of happiness. Until then, my river of tears that continue to keep crashing will keep me alive.
”
”
Charlena E. Jackson (Pinwheels and Dandelions)
“
Dear Circle of Life,
The impression of you is so unique in the most exquisite ways. With you, there is a beginning and an end. You are the representation of birth and life. The in-between is survival, and the ending is death. The idea of life is just what it is when we arrive on the earth—our life is a circle, if you will, a 360. Once our wheels stop spinning, it rolls slowly until it completely stops.
”
”
Charlena E. Jackson (Pinwheels and Dandelions)
“
When I was born, I was a wildfire, but the flames were smothered by me, always having to find a way to survive. Wildfire defines me perfectly because, just like a wildfire, I was unplanned, unwanted, and now I am uncontrollable. Everyone says, Ember, you’ve come so far, and they are shocked by my actions. I don’t know why they are surprised. After all, it is not my fault. I was born this way.
I have officially exploded.
”
”
Charlena E. Jackson (Pinwheels and Dandelions)
“
Life has a way of showing you how strong you are and how much you can take. They say what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. I guess there’s some kind of truth in that. As for me, what didn’t kill me broke me into a trillion pieces. What didn’t kill me made me bitter. What didn’t kill me caused a lot of hurt and pain. What didn’t kill me made me want more out of life. What didn’t kill me after all the shit I’d been through finally showed me mercy.
”
”
Charlena E. Jackson (Pinwheels and Dandelions)
“
Somewhere in this world, the tides are rising high and washing away the negative tides of curses that bind my life. Somewhere the sun is sprinkling some glitter on the ocean’s surface, and in the same place, a bird’s feather is gently floating in the wind. Those thoughts alone give me faith because I know somewhere in the world what I imagine is happening precisely in that order. Therefore, I know that hope and faith do exist, and the impossible is possible.
”
”
Charlena E. Jackson (Pinwheels and Dandelions)
“
What’s the point of living and loving life when the only thing I do is read between the lines and tread carefully? Come to think about it, I am a book that nobody can understand or read. They think they know what is best for me, but if they only take the time to listen, I would be so happy to tell them about me and my needs and wants. My actions scream for attention, but time after time, I am ignored. Sadly, without a care, they were quick to rip out the pages. Yet, once again, nobody noticed me.
”
”
Charlena E. Jackson (Pinwheels and Dandelions)
“
To a foreigner, it must have seemed that Russia had become the land of ten thousand lines. For there were lines at the tram stops, lines before the grocer, lines at the agencies of labor, education, and housing. But in point of fact, there were not ten thousand lines, or even ten. There was one all-encompassing line, which wound across the country and back through time. This had been Lenin’s greatest innovation: a line that, like the Proletariat itself, was universal and infinite. He established it by decree in 1917 and personally took the first slot as his comrades jostled to line up behind him. One by one every Russian took his place, and the line grew longer and longer until it shared all of the attributes of life. In it friendships were formed and romances kindled; patience was fostered; civility practiced; even wisdom attained. If one is willing to stand in line for eight hours to purchase a loaf of bread, the lone figure thought, what is an hour or two to see the corpse of a hero free of charge?
”
”
Amor Towles (A Gentleman in Moscow)
“
Dear Hourglass,
Months ago, you were turned upside down. I do not know why. I haven’t seen the moon in months. I guess that is why I’ve been fighting the tides. There’s no way I can humble the tides in my mind without the moon. Where is the moon? It is supposed to balance the tides and my emotions. I guess that is why I am drowning. Hourglass, are the grains of sand all in the other end? Tell me, has my time run out to change? May you give me another chance? My heart is in chains. Can the stars untangle the chains that are suffocating it? Or have the stars forgotten all about me too? I hope not. I need the moon and the stars to help me get through the rough tides and unpredictable currents.
Everything is closing in.
”
”
Charlena E. Jackson (Pinwheels and Dandelions)
“
They say, you are a wildfire that is out of control. It doesn’t matter because nobody sees it; they only feel it. I burn and set fire to everyone who crosses me because they deserve it. Nobody deserves my kindness. My kindness to them is a weakness, so I created a wildfire in my mind and around me. My skin is brass, and I do not burn easily. I am a human hazard because I destroy everything and everyone who gets in my way. They made me this way. Every time they neglected me, I was slowly fuming with heat. Every time they ignored me the fumes grew hotter from the smoke. Therefore, I became a human being gone bad. Every time they inhaled my fumes, I would cut them with my tongue's quadruple swords and kill them with my words.
”
”
Charlena E. Jackson (Pinwheels and Dandelions)
“
Dear Silent Sorrow,
I am hurting. I am numb. I am weak. I am dead inside. I am lost for words... please, help me. Will the morning ever come in my and Kace’s life? Where is the sun? It keeps setting on us, but it never rises! I am walking on a bridge surrounded by troubled waters. Where is the moon? I need help with controlling the waters. The bridge has water on it, under it, and all around it. It is unstable. It is rocking from side to side. I am scared. What am I to do? Please, tell me quickly. My fear is that I will never get across to the other side without Kace. I need Kace in my life. I need him. I will not leave Kace behind. I do not understand any of this. It is hard to find peace—when will morning come? Right here and right now, I am unable to feel.
I will jump off this troubled bridge if Kace is not with me.
”
”
Charlena E. Jackson (Pinwheels and Dandelions)
“
Dear After the rain,
How are you doing today? Are you angry? Are you crying? Or are you releasing what doesn’t serves you anymore? For years now, I’ve been so angry. I know you all know me by now because there have been plenty of times when you hid my tears. Memories used to linger in the raindrops. However, today, there is something different in the air. It is like nothing I’ve ever experienced before. I feel the light... and it is peeking in. Soon my heart will be shining bright, filled with a downpour of love and light. I feel it in my energy that Nurse Hope's love will be drenching Kace and me from head to toe. The clouds are turning dark grey. They look very familiar. They used to be clouds of grief. As the grey clouds darken, the sky turns black, but I have no fear. The rain has cleared the air and has washed away all the fears I carried along the way.
I happily and gently put my fears down because they do not serve me anymore. The thunder has shaken Kace’s and my fears—and they no longer linger on. They do not have a place in my mind anymore. As of today, the rain has washed them away. The lightning has made its mark and stuck love into Kace’s and my life. I know and have faith that it will be permanent. The heavy rain clouds are moving away slowly. When the heart rains, it is cleansing the soul. When the heart rains, hurt fades away. My heart is raining, and happy days are one step in front of me. All I have to do is take that one step that will lead me to happiness and love. I do not look back. I keep my head straight and move one foot in front of the other. I just stepped into a world of happiness.
I am drenched in love and loving it.
”
”
Charlena E. Jackson (Pinwheels and Dandelions)
“
Dear Polar Night,
It seems like the darkness will never shed any light. It is like the night skies have layers of darkness when it comes to Kace and me. I mean, the sun isn’t rising at all in our life. The darkness has a way of making things difficult for us. We are supposed to sleep during the dark, but we are always awake because we have to always be on the lookout. Will the midnight sun rise? We will accept part of the sun disk. Just a little bit will be okay with us. They will be just enough light for us to see what’s next on our life’s path. However, selfishly we do not have a sunset or sunrise in our life. The clouds and the fog keep the sun isolated—how long do you think Kace and I will be able to endure such treatment? I hope one day the polar night will run its course, and the white nights will shed more than 24 hours of light. I know the sun will not be visible—that is okay. We will accept the white nights if we cannot have the sun. We would be more than happy to take whatever light is offered.
Wishing on Pinwheels and Dandelions until the break of dawn.
”
”
Charlena E. Jackson (Pinwheels and Dandelions)
“
Dear Dandelions,
I am part of you. Adults hate you all when you spread in their garden beds or manicured lawns, but in my eyes, you all are beautiful. Just like you, I’ve been through many stages in my life. Many people have come and gone, but you all have always been here. I do not know if you know, but your milky white puffballs have been my umbrella through trying times. When it rains in life, I always find myself making a wish on a dandelion. When I feel like things are way over my head, you all have been my parachute, and I might not land softy, but I always land steadily. I might not always know my future, but after I make a wish on the dandelion's furry sphere that resembles a white globe, I have hope that my future will be filled with peace and joy. The one thing I crave in life is peace. For once, while I lie under the tree filled with so much wisdom, I have finally found a measure of peace. It is an amazing feeling. I wonder what peace feels like? I will continue to wait. I’ve waited this long. Until then, I am willing to accept knowing what a portion of this peace feels like.
Waiting for the seeds to emerge in my life.
”
”
Charlena E. Jackson (Pinwheels and Dandelions)
“
Dear Wildfire,
Ember, you are a wildfire that is out of control. It doesn’t matter because nobody sees it; they only feel it. I burn and set fire to everyone who crosses me because they deserve it. If they don’t deserve it, so what, fuck it. Nobody deserves my kindness. My kindness to them is a weakness, so I created a wildfire in my mind and around me. My skin is brass, and I do not burn easily. I am a human hazard because I destroy everything and everyone who gets in my way. They made me this way. Every time they neglected me, I was slowly fuming with heat. Every time they ignored me the fumes grew hotter from the smoke. Therefore, I became a human being gone bad because I was a dangerous person. Every time they inhaled my fumes, I would cut them with my tongue's quadruple swords and kill them with my words.
My fumes surrounded everyone with darkness because they couldn’t ever figure me out. They couldn’t read my thoughts; I became fearless in the worst way ever. When I was born, I was a wildfire, but the flames were smothered by me, always having to find a way to survive. Wildfire defines me perfectly because, just like a wildfire, I was unplanned, unwanted, and now I am uncontrollable. Everyone says, Ember, you’ve come so far, and they are shocked by my actions. I don’t know why they are surprised. After all, it is not my fault. I was born this way.
I have officially exploded
”
”
Charlena E. Jackson (Pinwheels and Dandelions)
“
Dear Sad Eyes,
I’m sure my eyes look sad from the outside, but nobody knows the pain behind my eyes. Sad eyes, do you know how to smile? I’m sure you would know if you weren’t so tired all of the time. Sad eyes, do you know how to rest? No, I have to strain my eyes in the dark because who else would watch my back. Sad eyes, there’s no such thing as rest—that is only wishful thinking. A stranger spoke to me today. She noticed me, my smile, and my sad eyes. For once, I didn’t feel invisible. I felt like somebody. Ms. Brown doesn’t know me, but she made me feel special. She made me feel like I mattered. She tried to be nice, but I fucked that up. Sad eyes, you know just as well as I do that anger eats me up alive, and I do not know how to control it. The anger I have for others is destroying me piece by piece. If I let it destroy me, then I won’t be able to kiss the moon, and all of the stars are going to fall from the sky. I won’t be able to dance in the moonlight, and the stars will not be my disco ball. I am so empty inside. I make-believe and imagine the dragonflies have filled my empty arms of darkness with light. Sad eyes, do you think you will be able to rest tonight? I hope so. With the moon, stars, and dragonflies surrounding me with so much light, I feel at peace and protected. Let’s try to rest and try it again tomorrow. After all, it will be another day. Who knows what might happen?
Counting the stars and kissing the moon.
”
”
Charlena E. Jackson (Pinwheels and Dandelions)
“
Dear Curses and Blessings,
How could there be two in one? I never knew a person could be cursed and blessed. There’s no such thing as having both. There no such thing as taking sides when it comes to blessings and curses—I always thought that a person had to pick one. I would never have made the decision to be cursed. It was given to me. Well... Kace and I apparently have been the chosen ones. We’ve been the main target. When curses shot their arrows, they hit the bullseye faithfully, without fail. Why couldn’t we have been the chosen ones for bountiful blessings? It is a blessing that Kace is alive, but it is a curse that he was in danger.
My emotions are a waterfall of never-ending thoughts of what is going to happen next. Kace has so many tubes in him—it is like he is being smothered, dissolving in webs of lies one after another. The same lies that my mother told him—she told me when I was younger. I am sure she told him she would keep him safe. I am more than sure she told the judge she had changed. Kace was coiled in a web of lies. Now he is coiled in wires to survive.
Our lives are surrounded by many curses, but I know there must be a couple of blessings to be spared. Please. I am begging you to show us some mercy. I will accept our blessings even if they are thrown at us like breadcrumbs. I will fall to my knees and scramble to pick them up one by one. When will mine and Kace’s lives be gentle as a flowing stream without any worries? Right now, I have to pack my feelings and tears away.
Cruses and blessings, please think about what I said.
”
”
Charlena E. Jackson (Pinwheels and Dandelions)
“
Dear Windowpane,
Aren’t you lucky? The sun rays of faith beam on you. How does it feel? Is it enlightenment? Do you feel free, loved, or suffocated? I admire you and envy you at the same time. I admire you because you have the ability to freely open up and let go. I am jealous of you because you have the ability to feel the warm embrace. You get to travel to different places. I know I might be thinking silly, but Windowpane, do you endure a lot of people’s pain? I mean—because many people lean on you, and I am sure you feel their energy, or maybe they tell you their problems. How do you handle all of that? Do you wait for the rain to come; therefore, you can wash off everyone’s problems and create new ones?
It seems like you would be filled with clarity because, after all, everyone can see right through you. With that being said, you do not have anything to hide. What is so amazing about you—is that you remind me of water. I can see right through you, and I can see my reflection too. Now that is pretty cool. However, it is a Catch-22 as well.
Now, I see you do not carry other people’s problems. You let us look at our reflections and go within to seek the answers we are searching for. Aww, you are something else. I want to give you some advice. Although I love your strategy, make sure that the person who is resting their head on you doesn’t quiet their mind too much. If so, their quiet mind might be filled with too much noise. We do not want that. Here’s a little secret, if a person starts thinking too long, then they are thinking wrong. Keep that in mind. Well, I love the scenery, and I enjoyed the talk.
Best of luck to you.
”
”
Charlena E. Jackson (Pinwheels and Dandelions)
“
Dear Familiar Place,
I am lost. I wonder who lives behind my eyes. I guess a lost little child who never grew up. However, I was forced to grow up, but I never had a chance to experience the sweet and playful side of life. I notice that at the moment, it is only me sitting on you—usually, I would have to share you with two or three people. After I leave, you will not be marked until a lonely broken soul will claim you. Just for tonight, they will have something to claim as their own. I wonder who will claim you tonight? I thank you for keeping me warm the best way you could. I am sure you are one of everyone’s best friends. I bet you have a lot of stories to tell. I am looking at the clouds and wondering how long the cloud will last in my life. I’ve had so many cloudy days; sadly, I forget how the sun looks and feels. My eyes are sensitive to the daylight, but they are immune to the darkness with just the right kind of light from the stars. During the day, my mood is cloudy, uncertain, blurred, depressing, and there is so much fog I can’t see the sun, nor do I have a head's up that the rain is coming. I wish just one day my mood could at least be fair skies. I’ll accept cool and fair skies. I mean, at least for once, could my life be fair instead of constantly feeling anxiety and my soul tied in two knots or more? I retraced my thoughts and noticed the wind was blowing. I smile slightly because the leaves are playing with each other as the breeze shows them some unconditional love. I wonder what unconditional love is? In my world, unconditional love is blowing dandelions in the daytime and hugging the stars during the night. I guess that’s all the love I need.
Wishing for brighter days.
”
”
Charlena E. Jackson (Pinwheels and Dandelions)
“
I had a strange dream. I was carrying a bookbag on my back, and it had a lot of tools in it. However, for some reason, I couldn’t take off the backpack. In the dream, I had to continue to start over from where I started. I was so tired and frustrated. I didn’t know what I was supposed to do. All I knew was that I was walking in the desert with a backpack on. Again, the dream kept repeating itself. I didn’t want to keep starting over because it was hard. However, every single time the dream started over, it was more challenging because I was hungry and thirsty. I saw a tree in the desert, but I couldn’t get any water. It started to snow, but I didn’t have shelter. I was cold, and I didn’t know how to get warm. I looked around, and there wasn’t anyone in sight. I realized that I had to walk down the path that was my own. I never had anyone to hold my hand. However, some people want people to walk in front of them, beside them, beneath, or above them. I was tired of walking the never-ending path of heavy burdens. However, my path of burdens wasn’t by choice. I was given this path, but in my dream, I had to change the direction.
I was giving permission to take off my backpack. I needed water, and I noticed I had a cup in my backpack. I also had a spile (spout) that I could use to get water out of a tree. It was getting colder and colder. I needed shelter. I looked in my bag, and there were tools to make a tent. I put my tent together after I gathered some water. I dug in my bag, and I saw some sticks. I built a fire to warm up. My dream was very interesting. It brought clarity into my life. I had all of the tools I needed to start over. However, I had to make the choice to use them. I had to put my mom’s choices behind me because I cannot change what happened.
”
”
Charlena E. Jackson (Pinwheels and Dandelions)
“
Dear, What’s the Point of it All?
What is the point of being nice? When you do not know what you are going to get from it? Knowing eventually sooner rather than later someone and maybe that person you are being nice to will turn their back on you. I always have to stay grounded and focused. When I am there for people, I feel like I am always punished for it. I am always treated as if I committed a crime. I was there for my mom; however, she was killing me slowly but surely. Like my mom, I noticed that when people get themselves in some shit, they get stuck in their own mess. They are confident that they do not have to deal with the consequences—because they know the ‘kind’ person will bail them out. What’s the point of being kind? Like my mom and the officer, there are so many people in the world who are judgmental and tainted because of their selfish needs.
What’s the point of my life? Here I am in a library filled with many books. I can read them and go anywhere I want to in my mind, but after I close the book, I will have to snap out of my fantasy world and welcome the cruel cold world, which is reality. If I was a book, I would be better off left on the shelf. There is no excitement in my life—only struggles.
What’s the point of living and loving life when the only thing I do is read between the lines and tread carefully? Come to think about it, I am a book that nobody can understand or read. They think they know what is best for me, but if they only take the time to listen, I would be so happy to tell them about me and my needs and wants. My actions scream for attention, but time after time, I am ignored. Sadly, without a care, they were quick to rip out the pages. Yet, once again, nobody noticed me.
What’s the point of it all when I never had an opportunity to make a mistake? If I did one thing wrong, they would give up on me and send me to one home after another. I’ve always been fully exposed and had to walk in a line filled with sharp curves from disappointment to disappointment. Sorrow is my aura, and sadness hugs me tightly. It is hard to cry when my eyes are closed shut by the barbed wire fence of my eyelashes as they prohibit tears from falling.
What’s the point of complicating my life? I am always back to where I started, and then ... I relive the same patterns, but on a more difficult journey. I believe when you put yourself in your own mess that you should clean it up and start over. What’s wrong with that? Nothing. However, when someone else puts you in their mess, you do not know how to clean up the mess they’ve made. You do not know how to start over because you do not know where to begin. I look at it this way; it is like telling a dead person he/she can start over. How so, when that person’s life no longer exists? I know my life isn’t over. However, I am lost in a maze my mom set up for herself—and she too is lost in her own maze. When a person gets lost in their own maze, they are really fucked up. However, this maze shouldn’t be left for me to figure out. Unfortunately, I am in it, and I have to find my way out one way or another.
What’s the point of taking Kace from me? He was safe and in good hands. Now he is worse off with people who are abusing him. He didn’t ask for this—I didn’t either. He deserves so much better. Again, what is the point of it all?
What’s the point of making me suffer? Do you get a kick out of it? What are you trying to accomplish? I am trying to understand; what is the point of it all? What is the point?
I don’t know why I am here.
”
”
Charlena E. Jackson (Pinwheels and Dandelions)