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I write these words in May of 2011, the week after a huge outbreak of tornadoes killed hundreds across the American South; it was the second recent wave of twisters of unprecedented size and intensity. In Texas, a drought worse than the Dust Bowl has set huge parts of the state ablaze. Meanwhile, the Army Corps of Engineers is moving explosives into place to blow up a levee along the Mississippi River, swollen by the the third “100-year-flood” in the last twenty years—though as the director of the Federal Emergency Management Administration noted at the end of 2010, “the term ‘100-year event’ really lost its meaning this year.” That’s because 2010 was the warmest year recorded, a year when 19 nations set new all-time high temperature records. The Arctic melted apace; Russia suffered a heat wave so epic that the Kremlin stopped all grain exports to the rest of the world; and nations from Australia to Pakistan suffered flooding so astonishing that by year’s end the world’s biggest insurance company, Munich Re, issued this statement: “The only plausible explanation for the rise in weather-related catastrophes is climate change. The view that weather extremes are more frequent and intense due to global warming coincides with the current state of scientific knowledge.” And that’s not the bad news. The bad news is that on April 6, the U.S. House of Representatives was presented with the following resolution: “Congress accepts the scientific findings of the Environmental Protection Agency that climate change is occurring, is caused largely by human activities, and poses significant risks for public health and welfare.” The final vote on the resolution? 184 in favor, 240 against. When some future Gibbon limns the decline and fall of our particular civilization, this may be one of the moments he cites.
Bill McKibben (The Global Warming Reader: A Century of Writing About Climate Change)
Hops and despair hung in the air. The floodwaters reached three feet and turned my craft brewery into a swamp, the kegs bobbing like tipsy buoys. Amid the ruins damp grain bags, shattered fermentation tanks, I saw the real victim: my hardware wallet, soggy but still, the USB port crusty with dirt. And contained? $275,000 of Bitcoin, my sole chance at redemption. I had jokingly named the wallet "Barley Vault." Now, the joke was on me. Insurance adjusters snapped photos and shrugged. "Acts of God aren't covered," they told me, as if divine intervention equated to a ruptured riverbank and a malfunctioning sump pump. My head brewer, Jess, salvaged what she could a water-damaged recipe book, a warped mash paddle and handed me a business card so soggy, the ink seeped like a watercolor. "Called these people," she said. "FUNDS RECLIAMER COMPANY. They recover crypto disasters. Or at least the internet claims.". I called, half-hoping for a scam. In its place, a voice arrived, as calm as fermenting lager: "Water damage? We've handled worse." They instructed me to mail the remains of the wallet, wrapped in rice like a vile pho ingredient. I restored the brewery through hand pressure-cleaning of mold, re-wiring circuits as Wizard's engineers conjured their own sorcery, for ten days. They disassembled the wallet's rusty interiors, toasting circuit boards in laboratory ovens, coaxing information from charred chips like alchemists breaking down an infested recipe. The call was at dawn. "Your seed phrase made it," the engineer said. "Stashed in a memory chip. Your Bitcoin's safe." I was in the skeleton of the brewery, sunrise glinting off just-installed stainless steel, and logged in. There it was: $275,000, resurrected. I bought three new fermenters that afternoon. FUNDS RECLIAMER COMPANY didn't just recover crypto, they recovered a legacy. Now, the faucets at the brewery flow again, featuring a special stout called "Hardware Wallet Haze." The flavor descriptions? "Roasted resilience, with a dash of existential relief." If your cryptocurrency ever becomes washed out by life's flood waters, skip the freakout. Call a SOS for the Wizards. They will drain the mire dry and restore the treasure to you. Just maybe keep your backups above sea level next time. Email: fundsreclaimer(@) c o n s u l t a n t . c o m OR fundsreclaimercompany@ z o h o m a i l . c o m WhatsApp:+1 (361) 2 5 0- 4 1 1 0 Website: h t t p s :/ / funds reclaimer company . c o m
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Hops and despair hung in the air. The floodwaters reached three feet and turned my craft brewery into a swamp, the kegs bobbing like tipsy buoys. Amid the ruins damp grain bags, shattered fermentation tanks, I saw the real victim: my hardware wallet, soggy but still, the USB port crusty with dirt. And contained? $275,000 of Bitcoin, my sole chance at redemption. I had jokingly named the wallet "Barley Vault." Now, the joke was on me. Insurance adjusters snapped photos and shrugged. "Acts of God aren't covered," they told me, as if divine intervention equated to a ruptured riverbank and a malfunctioning sump pump. My head brewer, Jess, salvaged what she could a water-damaged recipe book, a warped mash paddle and handed me a business card so soggy, the ink seeped like a watercolor. "Called these people," she said. "FUNDS RECLIAMER COMPANY. They recover crypto disasters. Or at least the internet claims.". I called, half-hoping for a scam. In its place, a voice arrived, as calm as fermenting lager: "Water damage? We've handled worse." They instructed me to mail the remains of the wallet, wrapped in rice like a vile pho ingredient. I restored the brewery through hand pressure-cleaning of mold, re-wiring circuits as Wizard's engineers conjured their own sorcery, for ten days. They disassembled the wallet's rusty interiors, toasting circuit boards in laboratory ovens, coaxing information from charred chips like alchemists breaking down an infested recipe. The call was at dawn. "Your seed phrase made it," the engineer said. "Stashed in a memory chip. Your Bitcoin's safe." I was in the skeleton of the brewery, sunrise glinting off just-installed stainless steel, and logged in. There it was: $275,000, resurrected. I bought three new fermenters that afternoon. FUNDS RECLIAMER COMPANY didn't just recover crypto, they recovered a legacy. Now, the faucets at the brewery flow again, featuring a special stout called "Hardware Wallet Haze." The flavor descriptions? "Roasted resilience, with a dash of existential relief." If your cryptocurrency ever becomes washed out by life's flood waters, skip the freakout. Call a SOS for the Wizards. They will drain the mire dry and restore the treasure to you. Just maybe keep your backups above sea level next time. Email: fundsreclaimer(@) c o n s u l t a n t . c o m OR fundsreclaimercompany@ z o h o m a i l . c o m WhatsApp:+1 (361) 2 5 0- 4 1 1 0 Website: h t t p s :/ / funds reclaimer company . c o m
DON'LOSE HOPE! CONTACT FUNDS RECLAIMER COMPANY TO RECOVER YOUR LOST CRYPTO
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