Flex Girlfriend Quotes

It may not feel too classy, begging just to eat But you know who does that? Lassie, and she always gets a treat So you wonder what your part is Because you're homeless and depressed But home is where the heart is So your real home's in your chest Everyone's a hero in their own way Everyone's got villains they must face They're not as cool as mine But folks you know it's fine to know your place Everyone's a hero in their own way In their own not-that-heroic way So I thank my girlfriend Penny Yeah, we totally had sex She showed me there's so many different muscles I can flex There's the deltoids of compassion, There's the abs of being kind It's not enough to bash in heads You've got to bash in minds Everyone's a hero in their own way Everyone's got something they can do Get up go out and fly Especially that guy, he smells like poo Everyone's a hero in their own way You and you and mostly me and you I'm poverty's new sheriff And I'm bashing in the slums A hero doesn't care if you're a bunch of scary alcoholic bums Everybody! Everyone's a hero in their own way Everyone can blaze a hero's trail Don't worry if it's hard If you're not a friggin 'tard you will prevail Everyone's a hero in their own way Everyone's a hero in their...

Oh, Maxy Poo, are you drowning your sorrows?” I fluttered my eyes at him.  He turned to look at me and laughed. “Unless you’ve got a raft.”  “I can be your raft.” I winked at him. “I come equipped with floatation devices.”  The moment the words came out of my mouth, I realized I might have had too much to drink.  Max laughed even louder. “Hm, I feel so much safer now. Shall we go for a swim?”  “Might want to check for leaks first.” I nearly choked on my drink as I laughed around my words.  “Is that an invitation?” Max leaned toward me, flexing his hands.  “Max!” I leaned back in reaction to his approaching hands. Of course I’d forgotten that my feet were on the rung of his bar stool. I tipped the whole thing over and Max landed in the arms of the woman sitting on the other side of him.  “Oops, sorry!” Max grinned at her.  “Oh no!” I tried to be horrified, but I was laughing too hard.  “I think your girlfriend is drunk.” The woman shook her head.  “She’s not my girlfriend, she’s my floatation device!