Flex Girlfriend Quotes

It may not feel too classy, begging just to eat But you know who does that? Lassie, and she always gets a treat So you wonder what your part is Because you're homeless and depressed But home is where the heart is So your real home's in your chest Everyone's a hero in their own way Everyone's got villains they must face They're not as cool as mine But folks you know it's fine to know your place Everyone's a hero in their own way In their own not-that-heroic way So I thank my girlfriend Penny Yeah, we totally had sex She showed me there's so many different muscles I can flex There's the deltoids of compassion, There's the abs of being kind It's not enough to bash in heads You've got to bash in minds Everyone's a hero in their own way Everyone's got something they can do Get up go out and fly Especially that guy, he smells like poo Everyone's a hero in their own way You and you and mostly me and you I'm poverty's new sheriff And I'm bashing in the slums A hero doesn't care if you're a bunch of scary alcoholic bums Everybody! Everyone's a hero in their own way Everyone can blaze a hero's trail Don't worry if it's hard If you're not a friggin 'tard you will prevail Everyone's a hero in their own way Everyone's a hero in their...

She studies my face for a second before sighing and adding, “I had an ex-boyfriend who used to tell me I only got opportunities handed to me because I’m a woman, not because I’m a good player. Because I…” she trails off and swallows. “Anyway. Once you hear the same thing so many times, you start to think it’s true.” My hand flexes at my side. I narrow my eyes. Irritation rips through me, and I have the urge to hurt someone really fucking bad. “You dated this guy?” I ask, and she nods. “I don’t know jack shit about relationships, but putting your girlfriend down because you don’t like watching her become more successful than you doesn’t seem like someone I would want to be around.” “We all do dumb shit when we’re young and in love. Play stupid games, you win stupid prizes. Mine happened to be an asshole who liked to make me feel small while he was the one with the tiny dick.” I choke on a laugh. “How tiny are we talking?” Emerson holds up her fingers barely four inches apart. “That tiny.” “I need to send you a fruit basket and offer my condolences.” “I’m allergic to strawberries.” “Noted. You gonna give me a name?” I ask. “Nope,” she answers. “I have friends who could track him down. They could hack into his computer if you ever feel like retaliating.” “Who the hell are you friends with?” “Stop wanting to know things about me,” I say smugly. “I’m going to think you like me, Red.” “If your ego gets any bigger, there’s not going to be any room for us in the hallway.” “You could stand closer to me, if you want.

Oh, Maxy Poo, are you drowning your sorrows?” I fluttered my eyes at him.  He turned to look at me and laughed. “Unless you’ve got a raft.”  “I can be your raft.” I winked at him. “I come equipped with floatation devices.”  The moment the words came out of my mouth, I realized I might have had too much to drink.  Max laughed even louder. “Hm, I feel so much safer now. Shall we go for a swim?”  “Might want to check for leaks first.” I nearly choked on my drink as I laughed around my words.  “Is that an invitation?” Max leaned toward me, flexing his hands.  “Max!” I leaned back in reaction to his approaching hands. Of course I’d forgotten that my feet were on the rung of his bar stool. I tipped the whole thing over and Max landed in the arms of the woman sitting on the other side of him.  “Oops, sorry!” Max grinned at her.  “Oh no!” I tried to be horrified, but I was laughing too hard.  “I think your girlfriend is drunk.” The woman shook her head.  “She’s not my girlfriend, she’s my floatation device!