Family Upbringing Influences Quotes

No two persons can learn something and experience it in the same way.

There was so much dark, negative energy surrounding Dragan’s family and his paternal ancestral bloodline. These dark influences seemed to have attached to his father’s existence through his cruel and violent upbringing.

The family is not of man's making; it is a gift of God and full of life. Upbringing in the family bears a quite special character. No school or educational institution can replace or compensate for the family. "Everything educates in the family, the handshake of the father, the voice of the mother, the older brother, the younger sister, the baby in the cradle, the sick loved one, the grandparents and the grandchildren, the uncles and the aunts, the guests and friends, prosperity and adversity, the feast day and the day of mourning, Sundays and workdays, the prayer and the thanksgiving at the table and the reading of God's Word, the morning and evening prayer. Everything is engaged to educate one another, from day to day, from hour to hour, unintentionally, without previously devised plan, method or system. From everything proceeds an educative influence though it can neither be analyzed nor calculated. A thousand insignificant things, a thousand trifles, a thousand details, all have their effect. It is life itself that here educates, life in its greatness, the rich, inexhaustible, universal life. The family is the school of life, because there is its spring and its hearth.' In A.B.W.M. Kok, Herman Bavinck, Amsterdam, 1945, pp. 1819.]

Many people give the matter little thought.They simply put their own children through the same things they experienced themselves when they were young, and they feel they are quite right to do so. But one day they find to their amazement and dismay that it is precisely with their children and spouses or companions that they have the toughest time achieving the inner freedom they have been striving for since their youth. They are then quite likely to feel that they have reached an impasse. As they found no way out of that impasse when they were children, they had no alternative but to knuckle under, to grin and bear it. And for some adults it seems to be just the same. But it is not. For however much we may be the product of family background, of heredity, of upbringing (for better or for worse), as adults we can gradually learn to recognize these influences. Then we are no longer under the compulsion to behave like robots. The greater our awareness of the way we have been conditioned, the more likely we are to free ourselves from our entrapments and be receptive to new information.

George V and his consort, Queen Mary, were born in London, there remained a strong Germanic influence at court. Of his seven predecessors on the British throne two were German by birth and upbringing and the remaining five had at least one parent who was German. Since the First World War the influence has, of course, been much less marked; but the German connection is not entirely a matter of past history. In 1915 ten of King George V’s first cousins were members of German royal dynasties. Seventy years later the Prince of Wales has sixteen first cousins born into the old princely families of Germany.

Just because an ethnic German (deutscher Volkszugehöriger), no matter if man or woman, has married a foreigner of non-German ethnicity, does not mean he or she can be denied recognition of German Volkszugehörigkeit. . . . In mixed marriages, one partner usually has an ethnically dominating influence (einen volkstumsmäßig bestimmenden Einfluss) on the other partner. . . . Evidence for the prevalence of the Bekenntnis to German Volkstum can be found in the use of the German language within the family, in the choice of typically German names for the children, in the German upbringing of the children and in the acquaintance of family members with German citizens or ethnic Germans. In mixed marriages it should be thoroughly checked whether German Volkstum prevails in the family.36

One must always watch out for such excessive attachment and tenderness towards one particular member of the family. There is no doubt that such an upbringing has a harmful influence on the future of children. Their life becomes bound up in a struggle to keep the affection of others by fair means or foul. To accomplish this they do not hesitate to use any means at their disposal.

Do we need to ask each other before making purchases of a particular size? Will we talk about our finances on a weekly or monthly basis, or will one person mostly “handle it”? When will we start saving or investing, and how will we learn about it? Do you want a prenup? 5. Do you want to have kids? If so, how many and at what ages do you imagine having them? Do you see yourself being an older or younger parent? Do you want to start trying to have kids soon following marriage, or do you want to wait awhile? Would you ever want to become a foster parent or adopt a child? 6. What do you think of our sex life? What’s working for you and not working for you? Is there anything you want to try or know you will never want to try? Which is a better fit for you: monogamy or polyamory? Do you watch porn and, if so, how often? Would you be willing or able to stop if I asked you to? How important is sex to you in a relationship? How often would you like to have sex? What should we do if our interest in sex starts to change? 7. Do we share the same political ideals? If not, do we care? 8. What do you want your career to look like? What are your short-term and long-term professional goals? Do you plan to work full-time or part-time? If we both work, will one person’s job be more important than the other; if so, whose and why? Are you willing to move for my job? How will work change after we have kids? Will one of us work less? How will we decide who that is? 9. How traditional are you when it comes to gender roles? How much are your answers to these questions informed by gendered assumptions? What were the gender roles in your home growing up, and how does that influence your thinking about work and family? 10. What kind of parent do you want to be? How involved do you want to be in our kids’ upbringing? How much maternity or paternity leave might you like to take? Will you change diapers? When the kids are young, will one or both of us stay home somehow, or will our kids use day care or a nanny? After the kids start school, will someone be home to help with afternoons, and, if so, who? Will you help with homework and attend teacher conferences? Will you shop for birthday and holiday gifts? Will you drive carpool to sports or other activities? How involved were your mom and/or dad in your days and nights when you were a kid, and is this something you want to do similarly or differently?