Egr Quotes

every church and in every small group, there is always at least one “difficult” person, usually more than one. These people may have special emotional needs, deep insecurities, irritating mannerisms, or poor social skills. You might call them EGR people — “Extra Grace Required.” God put these people in our midst for both their benefit and ours. They are an opportunity for growth and a test of fellowship: Will we love them as brothers and sisters and treat them with dignity?

I believe that all people long to have a consistent friend who loves them, believes in them, and is continually there for them no matter the circumstances. If you’re willing to be that kind of person for others, not only will it expand your people capacity, it will also give you a more satisfying life. You may also be thinking, I can’t do this with everyone, because some people are just difficult. That’s true—for all of us. Debbie Ellis calls such people porcupines in her book How to Hug a Porcupine. When I was a pastor, we called such people EGRs—extra grace required. But we can all use extra grace from time to time. Maybe those who face the greatest challenges are the ones who have difficult people in their families. A friend once told me, “My family is a circus, and every day there is a different clown.” Family life is ground zero in learning how to deal with difficult people. The advice of cartoonist Michael Leunig? “Love one another and you will be happy. It’s as simple and as difficult as that.” It is both difficult and simple. In the end, our goal should be to treat others better than they treat us, to add value to them in a greater capacity than maybe they expect. I love the way Brian Bethune described Nelson Mandela. The South African statesman was a fantastic example of someone with high relational capacity. Bethune

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