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Please tell Jackie Chan... that he is my boy'
'I'm aware I'm making the low continuous moaning noise of a fearful cow, but I can't seem to stop.'
'He was participating in an age- old ritual, where a boy becomes a man and a man becomes a psycho.'
'It's a van of transcendent beauty... All the clowns in the world could fit inside.'
'My mother's expression... called to mind Edvard Munch's The Scream'
'I swear that for a while in the nineties, my father got a newsletter that listed every celebrity who had AIDS. He would pass through the room... announce 'Big time AIDS. Big time.'... leaving a couch full of distressed children in his wake'
'I also recall consuming an enormous quantity and variety of mayonnaise salads, which Lutherans loved and excelled at making. If Jesus himself appeared in their midst and said 'Eat my body,' they would first slather mayonnaise all over him.'
'I step into the nearest shallows with the two youngest toddlers, holding their chubby, resilient wrists in my hands, and immediately my every sense is locked into the ancient, timeliness female effort of Preventing the Next Generation from Dying'...'Meanwhile Jason...is ready to embark on the equally timeless male pursuit of Introducing the Next Generation to Danger... [they] set off together to explore the possibility of hurling their bodies [off the cliff]
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