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This is a good sign, having a broken heart. It means we have tried for something.
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Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)
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People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life.
A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave.
A soul mates purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master...
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Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)
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Youβre wishinβ too much, baby. You gotta stop wearing your wishbone where your backbone oughtta be.
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Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)
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You need to learn how to select your thoughts just the same way you select your clothes every day. This is a power you can cultivate. If you want to control things in your life so bad, work on the mind. That's the only thing you should be trying to control.
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Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)
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To lose balance sometimes for love is part of living a balanced
life.
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Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love: One Woman's Search for Everything)
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Your emotions are the slaves to your thoughts, and you are the slave to your emotions.
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Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat Pray Love: One Woman's Search for Everything Across Italy, India and Indonesia)
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The Bhagavad Gita--that ancient Indian Yogic text--says that it is better to live your own destiny imperfectly than to live an imitation of somebody else's life with perfection.
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Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)
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I have a history of making decisions very quickly about men. I have always fallen in love fast and without measuring risks. I have a tendency not only to see the best in everyone, but to assume that everyone is emotionally capable of reaching his highest potential. I have fallen in love more times than I care to count with the highest potential of a man, rather than with the man himself, and I have hung on to the relationship for a long time (sometimes far too long) waiting for the man to ascend to his own greatness. Many times in romance I have been a victim of my own optimism.
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Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)
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When I get lonely these days, I think: So BE lonely, Liz. Learn your way around loneliness. Make a map of it. Sit with it, for once in your life. Welcome to the human experience. But never again use another person's body or emotions as a scratching post for your own unfulfilled yearnings.
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Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)
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Iβm here. I love you. I donβt care if you need to stay up crying all night long, I will stay with you. If you need the medication again, go ahead and take itβI will love you through that, as well. If you donβt need the medication, I will love you, too. Thereβs nothing you can ever do to lose my love. I will protect you until you die, and after your death I will still protect you. I am stronger than Depression and I am braver than Loneliness and nothing will ever exhaust me.
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Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)
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I think I deserve something beautiful.
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Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)
β
Happiness is the consequence of personal effort. You fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it, and sometimes even travel around the world looking for it. You have to participate relentlessly in the manifestations of your own blessings. And once you have achieved a state of happiness, you must never become lax about maintaining it. You must make a mighty effort to keep swimming upward into that happiness forever, to stay afloat on top of it.
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Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)
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Do not apologize for crying. Without this emotion, we are only robots.
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Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)
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Thereβs a crack (or cracks) in everyoneβ¦thatβs how the light of God gets in.
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Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)
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In desperate love, we always invent the characters of our partners, demanding they be what we need of them, and then feeling devastated when they refuse to perform the role we created in the first place.
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Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)
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The only thing more unthinkable than leaving was staying; the only thing more impossible than staying was leaving.
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Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)
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It all goes away. Eventually, everything goes away.
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Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)
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I'm choosing happiness over suffering, I know I am. I'm making space for the unknown future to fill up my life with yet-to-come surprises.
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Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)
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Having a baby is like getting a tattoo on your face. You really need to be certain it's what you want before you commit.
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Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)
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Operation Self-Esteem--Day Fucking One.
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Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)
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I want God to play in my bloodstream the way sunlight amuses itself on the water.
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Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)
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I met an old lady once, almost a hundred years old, and she told me, 'There are only two questions that human beings have ever fought over, all through history. How much do you love me? And Who's in charge?
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Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)
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I crossed the street to walk in the sunshine.
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Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)
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You are, after all, what you think. Your emotions are the slaves to your thoughts, and you are the slave to your emotions.
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Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)
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Some days are meant to be counted, others are meant to be weighed.
β
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Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love: One Woman's Search for Everything)
β
In the end, though, maybe we must all give up trying to pay back the people in this world who sustain our lives. In the end, maybe it's wiser to surrender before the miraculous scope of human generosity and to just keep saying thank you, forever and sincerely, for as long as we have voices.
β
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Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love: One Woman's Search for Everything)
β
At some point, you gotta let go, and sit still, and allow contentment to come to you.
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Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)
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I am a better person when I have less on my plate.
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Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)
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Ruin is a gift. Ruin is the road to transformation.
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Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)
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We don't realize that, somewhere within us all, there does exist a supreme self who is eternally at peace.
β
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Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)
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When the karma of a relationship is done, only love remains. It's safe. Let go.
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Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)
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Thatβs the thing about a human life-thereβs no control group, no way to ever know how any of us would have turned out if any variables had been changed.
β
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Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love: One Woman's Search for Everything)
β
to travel is worth any cost or sacrifice.
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Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)
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The only thing more unthinkable than leaving was staying; the only thing more impossible than staying was leaving. I didn't want to destroy anything or anybody. I just wanted to slip quietly out the back door, without causing any fuss or consequences, and then not stop running until I reached Greenland.
β
β
Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)
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But never again use another person's body or emotions as a scratching post for your own unfulfilling yearnings.
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Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)
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It's still two human beings trying to get along, so it's going to be complicated. And love is always complicated. But humans must try to love each other, darling. We must get our hearts broken sometimes. This is a good sign, having a broken heart. It means we have tried for something.
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Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)
β
We search for happiness everywhere, but we are like Tolstoy's fabled beggar who spent his life sitting on a pot of gold, under him the whole time. Your treasure--your perfection--is within you already. But to claim it, you must leave the buy commotion of the mind and abandon the desires of the ego and enter into the silence of the heart.
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Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love: One Woman's Search for Everything)
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There is a reason they call God a presence - because God is right here, right now. In the present is the only place to find Him, and now is the only time.
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Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)
β
Deep grief sometimes is almost like a specific location, a coordinate on a map of time. When you are standing in that forest of sorrow, you cannot imagine that you could ever find your way to a better place. But if someone can assure you that they themselves have stood in that same place, and now have moved on, sometimes this will bring hope
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Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)
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God never slams a door in your face without opening a box of Girl Scout cookies.
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Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)
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Om Namah Shivaya, meaning,
I honor the divinity that resides within me.
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Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)
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I was full of a hot, powerful sadness and would have loved to burst into the comfort of tears, but tried hard not to, remembering something my Guru once said -- that you should never give yourself a chance to fall apart because, when you do, it becomes a tendency and it happens over and over again. You must practice staying strong, instead.
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Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)
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To find the balance you want, this is what you must become. You must keep your feet grounded so firmly on the earth that it's like you have 4 legs instead of 2. That way, you can stay in the world. But you must stop looking at the world through your head. You must look through your heart, instead. That way, you will know God.
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β
Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)
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I am burdened with what the Buddhists call the 'monkey mind' -- the thoughts that swing from limb to limb, stopping only to scratch themselves, spit and howl.
β
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Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)
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I wondered, "Why have I been chasing happiness my whole life when bliss was here the entire time?
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Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)
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Smile with face, smile with mind, and good energy will come to you and clean away dirty energy.
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Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)
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There's no trouble in this world so serious that it can't be cured with a hot bath, a glass of whiskey, and the Book of Common Prayer.
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Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)
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Destiny, I feel, is also a relationship - a play between divine grace and willful self-effort.
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Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)
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People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life.
β
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Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)
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Zen masters say you cannot see your reflection in running water, only in still water.
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Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)
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One thing I do know about intimacy is that there are certain natural laws which govern the sexual experience of two people, and that these laws cannot be budged any more than gravity can be negotiated with. To feel physically comfortable with someone else's body is not a decision you can make. It has very little to do with how two people think or act or talk or even look. The mysterious magnet is either there, buried somewhere deep behind the sternum, or it is not. When it isn't there (as I have learned in the past, with heartbreaking clarity) you can no more force it to exist than a surgeon can force a patient's body to accept a kidney from the wrong donor. My friend Annie says it all comes down to one simple question: "Do you want your belly pressed against this person's belly forever --or not?
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Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)
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One must always be prepared for riotous and endless waves of transformation.
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Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)
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Prayer is a relationship; half the job is mine. If I want transformation, but can't even be bothered to articulate what, exactly, I'm aiming for, how will it ever occur? Half the benefit of prayer is in the asking itself, in the offering of a clearly posed and well-considered intention. If you don't have this, all your pleas and desires are boneless, floppy, inert; they swirl at your feet in a cold fog and never lift.
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Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)
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How could two people who were so in love not end up happily ever after? It had to work. Didnβt it?
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Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)
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Only the young and stupid are confident about sex and romance.
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Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)
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So now I have started living my own life. Imperfect and clumsy as it may look, it is resembling me now, thoroughly.
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Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)
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In a world of disorder and disaster and fraud, sometimes only beauty can be trusted. Only artistic excellence is incorruptible. Pleasure cannot be bargained down. And sometimes the meal is the only currency that is real.
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Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)
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The resting place of the mind is the heart. The only thing the mind hears all day is clanging bells and noise and argument, and all it wants is quietude. The only place the mind will ever find peace is inside the silence of the heart. That's where you need to go.
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Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)
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They flank me - depression on my left, loneliness on my right. They don't need to show their badges. I know these guys very well. ... Then they frisk me. They empty my pockets of any joy I had been carrying there. Depression even confiscates my identity; but he always does that.
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Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)
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The more exquisitely and delightfully you can do nothing, the higher your life's achievement.
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Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)
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Yet what keeps me from dissolving right now into a complete fairy-tale shimmer is this solid truth, a truth which has veritably built my bones over the last few years--I was not rescued by a prince; I was the administrator of my own rescue.
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Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)
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Your treasure - your perfection - is within you already. But to claim it, you must leave the busy commotion of the mind and abandon the desires of the ego and enter into the silence of the heart.
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Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)
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Dear Lord, please show me everything I need to understand about forgiveness and surrender
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Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)
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You have the opposite of poker face. You have like.. miniature golf face.
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Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)
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I have good idea, for if you meet some person from different religion and he want to make argument about God. My idea is, you listen to everything this man say about God. Never argue about God with him. Best thing to say is, 'I agree with you.' Then you go home, pray what you want. This is my idea for people to have peace about religion.
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Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)
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Learning how to discipline your speech is a way of preventing your energies from spilling out of you through the rupture of your mouth, exhausting you and filling the world with words, words, words instead of serenity, peace and bliss.
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Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)
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What do I believe that I deserve in this life?
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Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)
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But is it such a bad thing to live like this for just a little while? Just for a few months of one's life, is it so awful to travel through time with no greater ambition than to find the next lovely meal? Or to learn how to speak a language for no higher purpose than that it pleases your ear to hear it? Or to nap in a garden, in a patch of sunlight, in the middle of the day, right next to your favourite fountain? And then to do it again the next day?
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Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)
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Let your conscience be your guide.
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Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)
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The ingredients of both darkness and light are equally present in all of us,...The madness of this planet is largely a result of the human being's difficulty in coming to viruous balance with himself.
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Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)
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Saint Anthony said, in his solitude, he sometimes encountered devils who looked like angels, and other times he found angels who looked like devils. When asked how he could tell the difference, the saint said that you can only tell which is which by the way you feel after the creature has left your company.
β
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Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)
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But if you can plant yourself in stillness long enough, you will, in time, experience the truth that everything (both uncomfortable and lovely) does eventually pass.
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Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)
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The six elements of her Fail Proof Broken-Heart Curing Treatment: "Vitamin E, get much sleep, drink much water, travel to a place far away from the person you loved, meditate and teach your heart that this is destiny.
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Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)
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God is an experience of supreme love.
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Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)
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I've come to believe that there exists in the universe something I call "The Physics of The Quest" β a force of nature governed by laws as real as the laws of gravity or momentum. And the rule of Quest Physics maybe goes like this: "If you are brave enough to leave behind everything familiar and comforting (which can be anything from your house to your bitter old resentments) and set out on a truth-seeking journey (either externally or internally), and if you are truly willing to regard everything that happens to you on that journey as a clue, and if you accept everyone you meet along the way as a teacher, and if you are prepared β most of all β to face (and forgive) some very difficult realities about yourself... then truth will not be withheld from you." Or so I've come to believe.
β
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Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)
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This is my living faith, an active faith, a faith of verbs: to question, explore, experiment, experience, walk, run, dance, play, eat, love, learn, dare, taste, touch, smell, listen, speak, write, read, draw, provoke, emote, scream, sin, repent, cry, kneel, pray, bow, rise, stand, look, laugh, cajole, create, confront, confound, walk back, walk forward, circle, hide, and seek.
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Terry Tempest Williams (Leap)
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We're miserable because we think that we are mere individuals, alone with our fears and flaws and resentment and mortality.
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Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)
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This was my moment to look for the kind of healing and peace that can only come from solitude.
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Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)
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There's a reason we refer to "leaps of faith" - because the decision to consent to any notion of divinity is a mighty jump from the rational over to the unknowable, and I don't care how diligently scholars of every religion will try to sit you down with their stacks of books and prove to you through scripture that their faith is indeed rational; it isn't. If faith were rational, it wouldn't be - by definition - faith. Faith is belief in what you cannot see or prove or touch. Faith is walking face-first and full-speed into the dark. If we truly knew all the answers in advance as to the meaning of life and the nature of God and the destiny of our souls, our belief would not be a leap of faith and it would not be a courageous act of humanity; it would just be... a prudent insurance policy.
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Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)
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And when you sense a faint potentiality for happiness after such dark times you must grab onto the ankles of that happiness and not let go until it drags you face-first out of the dirt - this is not selfishness, but obligation. You were given life; it is your duty to find something beautiful within life no matter how slight.
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Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)
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A soul mates purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master...
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Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)
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Americans have an inability to relax into sheer pleasure.Ours is an entertainment seeking-nation, but not necessarily a pleasure-seeking one....This is the cause of that great sad American stereotype- the overstressed executive who goes on vacation, but who cannot relax.
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Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)
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The Bhagavad Gitaβthat ancient Indian Yogic textβsays that it is better to live your own destiny imperfectly than to live an imitation of somebody elseβs life with perfection. So now I have started living my own life. Imperfect and clumsy as it may look, it is resembling me now, thoroughly.
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Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)
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Instructions for freedom":
1. Life's metaphors are God's instructions.
2. You have just climbed up and above the roof, there is nothing between you and the Infinite; now, let go.
3. The day is ending, it's time for something that was beautiful to turn into something else that is beautiful. Now, let go.
4. Your wish for resolution was a prayer. You are being here is God's response, let go and watch the stars came out, in the inside and in the outside.
5. With all your heart ask for Grace and let go.
6. With all your heart forgive him, forgive yourself and let him go.
7. Let your intention be freedom from useless suffering then, let go.
8. Watch the heat of day pass into the cold night, let go.
9. When the Karma of a relationship is done, only Love remains. It's safe, let go.
10. When the past has past from you at last, let go.. then, climb down and begin the rest of your life with great joy.
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Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)
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There are only two questions that human beings have ever fought over, all through history. 'How much do you love me?' And, 'Who's in charge?' Everything else is somehow manageable. But these two questions of love and control undo us all, trip us up and cause war, grief, and suffering.
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Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)
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Still, despite all this, traveling is the great true love of my life. I have always felt, ever since I was sixteen years old and first went to Russia with my saved-up babysitting money, that to travel is worth any cost or sacrifice. I am loyal and constant in my love for travel, as I have not always been loyal and constant in my other loves. I feel about travel the way a happy new mother feels about her impossible, colicky, restless, newborn baby--I just don't care what it puts me through. Because I adore it. Because it's mine. Because it looks exactly like me. It can barf all over me if it wants to--I just don't care.
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Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)
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Read! When your baby is finally down for the night, pick up a juicy book like Eat, Pray, Love or Pride and Prejudice or my personal favorite, Understanding Sleep Disorders: Narcolepsy and Apnea; A Clinical Study. Taking some time to read each night really taught me how to feign narcolepsy when my husband asked me what my βplanβ was for taking down the Christmas tree.
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Tina Fey (Bossypants)
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Your problem is you don't understand what that word means. People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that's holding you back, the person who brings you to your attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then they leave.
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Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)
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The Yogic sages say that all the pain of a human life is caused by words, as is all the joy. We create words to define our experience and those words bring attendant emotions that jerk us around like dogs on a leash. We get seduced by our own mantras (I'm a failure... I'm lonely... I'm a failure... I'm lonely...) and we become monuments to them. To stop talking for a while, then, is to attempt to strip away the power of words, to stop choking ourselves with words, to liberate ourselves from our suffocating mantras.
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Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)
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Problem is, you canβt accept that his relationship had a real short shelf life. Youβre like a dog at the dump, baby β youβre just lickinβ at the empty tin can, trying to get more nutrition out of it. And if youβre not careful, that canβs gonna get stuck on your snout forever and make your life miserable. So drop it.β
βBut I love him.β
βSo love him.β
βBut I miss him.β
βSo miss him. Send him some love and light every time you think about him, then drop it.
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Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)
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The great Sufi poet and philosopher Rumi once advised his students to write down the three things they most wanted in life. If any item on the list clashes with any other item, Rumi warned, you are destined for unhappiness. Better to live a life of single-pointed focus, he taught. But what about the benefits of living harmoniously among extremes? What if you could somehow create an expansive enough life that you could synchronize seemingly incongruous opposites into a worldview that excludes nothing?
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Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)
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I keep remembering one of my Guru's teachings about happiness. She says that people universally tend to think that happiness is a stroke of luck, something that will maybe descend upon you like fine weather if you're fortunate enough. But that's not how happiness works. Happiness is the consequence of personal effort. You fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it, and sometimes even travel around the world looking for it. You have to participate relentlessly in the manifestations of your own blessings. And once you have achieved a state of happiness, you must never become lax about maintaining it, you must make a mighty effort to keep swimming upward into that happiness forever, to stay afloat on top of it. If you don't you will eat away your innate contentment. It's easy enough to pray when you're in distress but continuing to pray even when your crisis has passed is like a sealing process, helping your soul hold tight to its good attainments.
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Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)
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Offer it up personally,then. Right now. I thought of how many people go to their graves unforgiven and unforgiving. I thought of how many people have had siblings or friends or children or lovers disappear from their lives before precious words of clemency or absolution could be passed along. How do the survivors of terminated relationships ever endure the pain of unfinished business? From that place of meditation, I found the answer-you can finish the business yourself, from within yourself. It's not only possible, it's essential.
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Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)
β
Virginia Woolf wrote, "Across the broad continent of a woman's life falls the shadow of a sword." On one side of that sword, she said, there lies convention and tradition and order, where all is correct. But on the other side of that sword, if you're crazy enough to cross it and choose a life that does not follow convention, "all is confusion." Nothing follows a regular course. Her argument was that the crossing of the shadow of that sword may bring a more interesting existence to a woman, but you can bet it will be more perilous.
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Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)
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As I focus on diligent joy, I also keep remembering a simple idea my friend Darcey told me once -- that all the sorrow and trouble of this world is caused by unhappy people. Not only in the big global Hitler-'n'-Stalin picture, but also on the smallest personal level. Even in my own life, I can see exactly where my episodes of unhappiness have brought suffering or distress or (at the very least) inconvenience to those around me. The search for contentment is, therefore, not merely a self-preserving and self-benefiting act, but also a generous gift to the world. Clearing out all your misery gets you out of the way. You cease being an obstacle, not only to yourself but to anyone else. Only then are you free to serve and enjoy other people.
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Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)
β
You have been to hell, Ketut?"
He smiled. Of course he's been there.
What's it like in hell?"
Same like in heaven," he said.
He saw my confusion and tried to explain. "Universe is a circle, Liss."
He said. "To up, to down -- all same, at end."
I remembered an old Christian mystic notion: As above, so below.
I asked. "Then how can you tell the difference between heaven and hell?"
Because of how you go. Heaven, you go up, through seven happy places. Hell, you go down, through seven sad places. This is why it better for you to go up, Liss." He laughed.
Same-same," he said. "Same in end, so better to be happy in journey."
I said, "So, if heaven is love, then hell is.. "
Love, too," he said.
Ketut laughed again, "Always so difficult for young people to understand this!
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Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)
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Iβm not laughing.β I was actually crying. βAnd please donβt laugh at me now, but I think the reason itβs so hard for me to get over this guy is because I seriously believed David was my soul mate. βHe probably was. Your problem is you donβt understand what that word means. People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and thatβs what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything thatβs holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person youβll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then they leave. And thank God for it. Your problem is, you just canβt let this one go. Itβs over, Groceries. Davidβs purpose was to shake you up, drive you out of your marriage that you needed to leave, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light could get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you had to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master and beat it. That was his job, and he did great, but now itβs over. Problem is, you canβt accept that his relationship had a real short shelf life. Youβre like a dog at the dump, baby β youβre just lickinβ at the empty tin can, trying to get more nutrition out of it. And if youβre not careful, that canβs gonna get stuck on your snout forever and make your life miserable. So drop it.βBut I love him.β
βSo love him.β βBut I miss him.β βSo miss him. Send him some love and light every time you think about him, then drop it. Youβre just afraid to let go of the last bits of David because then youβll be really alone, and Liz Gilbert is scared to death of what will happen if sheβs really alone. But hereβs what you gotta understand, Groceries. If you clear out all that space in your mind that youβre using right now to obsess about this guy, youβll have a vacuum there, an open spot β a doorway. And guess what the universe will do with the doorway? It will rush in β God will rush in β and fill you with more love than you ever dreamed. So stop using David to block that door. Let it go.
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Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)
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At some point, as Richard keeps telling me, you gotta let go and sit still and allow contentment to come to you.
Letting go, of course, is a scary enterprise for those of us who believe that the world revolves only because it has a handle on the top of it which we personally turn, and that if we were to drop this handle for even a moment, well β that would be the end of the universe. But try dropping itβ¦.Sit quietly for now and cease your relentless participation. Watch what happens. The birds do not crash dead out of the sky in mid-flight, after all. The trees do not wither and die, the rivers do not run red with blood. Life continues to go onβ¦. Why are you so sure that your micromanagement of every moment in this whole world is so essential? Why donβt you let it be?
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Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)
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Moreover, I have boundary issues with men. Or maybe thatβs not fair to say. To have issues with boundaries, one must have boundaries in the first place, right? But I disappear into
the person I love. I am the permeable membrane. If I love you, you can have everything. You can have my time, my devotion, my ass, my money, my family, my dog, my dogβs money, my
dogβs timeβeverything. If I love you, I will carry for you all your pain, I will assume for you all your debts (in every definition of the word), I will protect you from your own insecurity, I will project upon you all sorts of good qualities that you have never actually cultivated in yourself and I will buy Christmas presents for your entire family. I will give you the sun and the rain, and if they are not available, I will give you a sun check and a rain check. I will give you all this and more, until I get so exhausted and depleted that the only way I can recover my energy is by becoming infatuated with someone else.
I do not relay these facts about myself with pride, but this is how itβs always been.
Some time after Iβd left my husband, I was at a party and a guy I barely knew said to me, βYou know, you seem like a completely different person, now that youβre with this new boyfriend. You used to look like your husband, but now you look like David. You even dress like
him and talk like him. You know how some people look like their dogs? I think maybe you always look like your men.
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Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)
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Your job then, should you choose to accept it, is to keep searching for the metaphors, rituals and teachers that will help you move ever closer to divinity. The Yogic scriptures say that God responds to the sacred prayers and efforts of human beings in any way whatsoever that mortals choose to worshipβjust so long as those prayers are sincere.
I think you have every right to cherry-pick when it comes to moving your spirit and finding peace in God. I think you are free to search for any metaphor whatsoever which will take you across the worldly divide whenever you need to be transported or comforted. It's nothing to be embarrassed about. It's the history of mankind's search for holiness. If humanity never evolved in its exploration of the divine, a lot of us would still be worshipping golden Egyptian statues of cats. And this evolution of religious thinking does involve a fair bit of cherry-picking. You take whatever works from wherever you can find it, and you keep moving toward the light.
The Hopi Indians thought that the world's religions each contained one spiritual thread, and that these threads are always seeking each other, wanting to join. When all the threads are finally woven together they will form a rope that will pull us out of this dark cycle of history and into the next realm. More contemporarily, the Dalai Lama has repeated the same idea, assuring his Western students repeatedly that they needn't become Tibetan Buddhists in order to be his pupils. He welcomes them to take whatever ideas they like out of Tibetan Buddhism and integrate these ideas into their own religious practices. Even in the most unlikely and conservative of places, you can find sometimes this glimmering idea that God might be bigger than our limited religious doctrines have taught us. In 1954, Pope Pius XI, of all people, sent some Vatican delegates on a trip to Libya with these written instructions: "Do NOT think that you are going among Infidels. Muslims attain salvation, too. The ways of Providence are infinite."
But doesn't that make sense? That the infinite would be, indeed ... infinite? That even the most holy amongst us would only be able to see scattered pieces of the eternal picture at any given time? And that maybe if we could collect those pieces and compare them, a story about God would begin to emerge that resembles and includes everyone? And isn't our individual longing for transcendence all just part of this larger human search for divinity? Don't we each have the right to not stop seeking until we get as close to the source of wonder as possible? Even if it means coming to India and kissing trees in the moonlight for a while?
That's me in the corner, in other words. That's me in the spotlight. Choosing my religion.
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Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)