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New Achievement! You’re the reason why daddy drinks! You have, for an unspecified reason, raised the ire of the System AI. You have corrected the issue, and everything is back to normal. The acceleration action has been suspended. This time. Good boy. Reward: You’ve received a Gold Makeup Sex is the Best Sex box. You’re not going to break me. Fuck you all. I will break you.
”
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Matt Dinniman (The Gate of the Feral Gods (Dungeon Crawler Carl, #4))
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Carl: Mordecai, quick. Best way to kill a hydra. One with human heads. Err, one cat head, too.
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Matt Dinniman (The Eye of the Bedlam Bride (Dungeon Crawler Carl, #6))
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I know I will constantly be looking up the status of this operation or that. How can I not when I know friends will die today? But I will do my best.
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Matt Dinniman (This Inevitable Ruin (Dungeon Crawler Carl #7))
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Same ol’ shit. Imani is mother hen-ing every damn person in here, even though they’re all terrified of her. Your friend Li Jun doesn’t know his best friend is in love with his sister even though she’s turned into a demon, and most of those girls from Hekla’s group are as helpless as I was when I was still in the wheelchair. On top of that, some crazy asshole who doesn’t want everybody to think he’s a crazy asshole is throwing a train full of explosives in our direction. So, you know. Typical day.
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Matt Dinniman (The Dungeon Anarchist's Cookbook (Dungeon Crawler Carl, #3))
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You’re my best friend, Carl. I’ve been so lonely. When you didn’t show up at the Bahamas on the last floor, I thought...” He didn’t finish the sentence. He was letting out these huge, wet, snot-filled sobs.
”
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Matt Dinniman (This Inevitable Ruin (Dungeon Crawler Carl #7))
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Lootable Corpse. Bad Llama. Level 3. Killed by Crawler Grand Champion Best in Dungeon Princess Donut with an assist by Crawler Royal Bodyguard Carl. Poor Llama skin. Uncooked Llama steaks X2. Baggie of trailer park-grade meth X2.
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Matt Dinniman (Dungeon Crawler Carl (Dungeon Crawler Carl, #1))