Dorothea Benton Frank Quotes

I have always thought that librarians are a little bit like doctors, travel agents and professors all rolled into one. We all know that a great story can lift spirits, take you anywhere in the world you want to go and in any time period to boot, and the lessons you learn from a good book can buoy your own convictions and even change your life.

Books were my passion and my escape from madness.

Isn’t it amazing how much good people can do for each other when you give them the opportunity to help?

The first indication of menopause is a broken thermostat. It's either that or your weight. In any case, if you don't do something, you could be dead by August. God, middle age is an unending insult.

The most important thing I learned is that to be truly happy, you've got to pay attention to that stupid inner voice we all have. It knows what you need and will drive you shit crazy until you listen to it.

Another maternal insight --- you always dislike about your children that which you dislike about yourself because you understand the danger about that trait. ~ Dorothea Benton Frank, The Hurricane Sisters, p. 115.

Daddies always listen to their little girls.

a good woman's heart knows no bounds. And love is the most powerful and wondrous gift in the world. Yes, it is.

The people you love never leave you ...

Maybe as you aged, what you wanted from a relationship changed too.

That's what I wanted for myself for even just a little while-to be unaware of the rest of the world. I needed some time.

Life is a struggle, I would tell him. Some days are better than others, and every person's life is bittersweet, filled with joy and pain.

Makes you grow up quick. Hard work makes you strong. I work hard every day; that's where I get my strength. That and knowing who I am.

She says that on the day you stop believing in love you may as will lie down and die. I think she may be right.

the Devil danced all over the place in his beautiful eyes. You never knew what kind of surprise he had for you, just to make you laugh.

Say your prayers, girl. Prayers work miracles; don't you see that much yet?

As we did every New Year's Eve we made ridiculous resolutions that no one would keep, and quietly we all wondered what the coming year would hold, each of us praying for our own private miracles. Good health. Better health. A marriage for this child, a good job for another. This hopefulness was something hardwired into our psyches, that a new year might mean some monumental something wonderful could happen to bring us happiness at a level we had never known. A new year was a chance to start over. Maybe even, just maybe, there would be peace on earth for one entire day.

We were an imperfect family. I knew that. But at last we were on each other's side, dug in with a new and more profound commitment. Our happiness was hard won, it was ours and I was determined to keep us whole.

Words matter . . . They really do.

Funny how something that seemed so insignificant, just an old bowl with faded glazed stripes, could trigger so many memories.

Dreams made your eyes sparkle over the possibilities of doing something new and exciting. Reality made the rest of you break a sweat in panic. I was terrified.

Please. Don’t use the Lord’s name, unless you’re in prayer. It’s a hundred years in purgatory.

Miss Trudie said, “Well, like my momma used to say, butter my butt and call me a biscuit. This takes the cake.

David Harper was Hollywood handsome but he had a Conan the Barbarian temper to go with his looks.

Give the ones you love wings to fly, roots to come back to, and reasons to stay.

I nearly clutched my bosom and gasped like Melanie from Twelve Oaks. But of course I didn't. ~ Dorothea Benton Frank, The Hurricane Sisters

because a book lets your imagination soar and a movie makes all the decisions for you. A book is almost always, but not always, a far richer experience than a book turned into a movie.

I want you to think. Gawd got his special purpose for you, just like He does for every one of us. He done give you a very good mind. The world you have when you grow up is gonna be the one you make. You use your mind and make it better.

When you start running from trouble? It confers with the devil on how to find you twice as fast.

All I can tell you is that every family on the planet is dysfunctional and we celebrate occasions as generously as we know how to do. We are all doing our best to appear grateful to have one another. Weren't appearances worth something?

When I close my eyes for the last time, an entire library of instructions for genuinely rewarding living will go with me.

Okay. I could her deb wailing-in my head. This is the Lowcountry, Steve. That's how life goes around here.

They say you only have so many breaths in your lifetime, and I think disappointments might be the same.

Few people realize how much courage it takes in a community like ours to ignore the established taboos.

Life’s a gift, that’s why they call today the present.

DOROTHEA BENTON FRANK Bulls Island The Christmas Pearl The Land of Mango Sunsets Full of Grace Pawleys Island Shem Creek Isle of Palms Plantation Sullivans Island

I took his aftershave and cologne out of the medicine cabinet. It occurred to me that he’d been wearing these for Karen. I peed in the bathroom glass, drained the Aramis and poured urine into two of his cologne bottles. “Up yours,” I said quietly. I dropped the bottles in his bag and zipped it closed.

At some point you can no longer insist that your children do this or that. I had learned this lesson the hard way. You have to let them fall down and then you can help them get back up. But you have to let them become adults.

What he didn't know was that he always would and that in all those important moments that were yet to come to pass in his life, there would be a searing wound. Over time the wound would grow smaller, but it would never disappear.

Reaching for his toothbrush, I looked at it and realized he’d been brushing his teeth for somebody else for a long time. I don’t know what possessed me to do it but I dunked it in the toilet. That pleased me so much that I rubbed it around the inside rim. That seemed so pleasant I then scrubbed up under the rim, good and hard, where no toilet brush could’ve reached in weeks.

Once I figured out what I was going to do with my life, I was definitely going to get a dog. Maybe I’d get a rescue. I liked the idea of an older dog that was already broken in and just needed a loving home. The irony was, that wasn’t too different from how I was feeling about myself.

Father Michaels' sermon was mercifully short. He had a reputation for three-minute homilies, tightly written, provocative and insightful. His words centered on the true meaning of Christianity. That is was all about love. Love of God, love of self, love of family, love of community. Love was a gift.

As long as she loved my boy, I loved her. If she broke his heart, I’d kill her with my bare hands. This seemed reasonable to me. But

Did my daughter, my only child, think she was going to take control of her wedding, without me?

.....If these walls started talking, the entire Island would be put under quarantine while the government moved in an army of psychiatrists.

Maybe it was what I needed too. For all those years I told myself

Give the ones you love wings to fly, roots to come back to, and reasons to stay.’ I just always loved

actually, I came here because of Skipper.” “That was awfully nice! How’s he doing? I’m going

Larson would kick my butt! This is good.

Naturally, we shopped, we had lunch, we did homework and we cleaned closets together. But beyond those mundane amusements—and

Dreams made your eyes sparkle over the possibilities of doing something new and exciting. Reality made the rest of you break a sweat in panic.

up mimosas and croissants at Billy’s. No, no. In the Lowcountry it’s got gravy on it—the

Beth.

Yeah, I know.” The poor girl. I felt very bad

You could tell a lot about the soul of an organization by the reading material in its waiting area.

What was that old story about how women had a better chance of being abducted by aliens than they did getting married after forty?

different. Let’s give up meat and dairy.” “Except for bacon and yogurt.

Mother of the groom. Wear beige and shut up.

Cecily.

I don’t believe in God because somebody told me I have to or I’ll burn in hell. I believe in God because I do. And if I can accept the whole concept of God, and I do, then why not Jesus too?

Fortitude is a value missing in our society today. There is a reality about sticking things out for a better day to dawn that is not cliché, but honest-to-God good advice that we should all weigh and consider

I would talk to him over breakfast and try to gauge how he was handling his life. Life is a struggle, I would tell him. Some days are better than others, and every person’s life is bittersweet, filled with joy and pain.

All the while I was trying to figure out if I knew anyone who had married and stayed in love for decades. I thought about Daddy and Momma. Daddy had loved Momma with a great passion. Everyone knew that. But, why? I knew why! The ugly truth was that he loved her because of how she made him feel, not because of who she was. Was that the nature of a man’s love for a woman? Not what you bring to the table, but how you make him feel? I was drinking a cup

No,” I said and smiled. “I just happen to like the taste of that particular grape.” “Oh?” “Yeah. I think chardonnays are too oaky and heavy and German wines are too sweet. But if my roommate and I are sharing a bottle of something, it’s usually on sale

It’s a funny thing about a good porch overlooking the ocean. It was great in hot weather when you needed shade. It was good when it rained to be close to nature but stay dry and safe. It was soothing in the dark, or it could be a place to whisper secrets late at night. So

He had reframed himself in my mind as a thickheaded man who couldn’t conceive that his words and actions hurt me deeply, benign as he may have thought they were. The consequences were that what he had done changed the way I felt about him. And a halfhearted apology wouldn’t restore my love for him.

kicked off my flip-flops and dug my feet into the sand. It was what we did in the Lowcountry when we found ourselves alone on the beach. We would sit, stare at the water, kick off our shoes, and dig our feet into the sand to stay cool. With the ocean rolling all around me, I could look at life from different angles. The sky gradually gave up its blanket of deep gray to pale blue with golden edges of light, erasing the last traces of night. And over the next half hour or so, the sky would become brilliant blue again. The water changed from deep steel to sparkling navy as the morning sun climbed into position and another day began. On

Look at that sky,” Livvie said. “Uh-huh,” I said. “Ain’t it marvelous?” “Yeah, it’s marvelous.” “No, chile o’ mine, you ain’t understanding what I’m telling you.” Her voice was so soft and loving, it was hard to keep my worries on my mind. “What do ya mean?” “See them stars starting to twinkle? They’s Gawd’s diamonds. You ’eah me? And the night sky turning so blue? That’s He sapphires for us. And see that streak of red across the horizon? They’s a field of rubies. Whenever you feel troubled and poor in the spirit, just go look at the sunset and all Gawd’s riches just be a-waiting for you.” “Yeah, sure, Livvie,” I said. “I ain’t lying to you, chile. I is telling you for true.

Suzanne said. “And then she goes in the kitchen and makes herself a martini in an iced-tea glass and she thinks I don’t know. She eats the olives on the side. By the handful.” “Whenever you see her eating olives,” Carrie said, “you can be about one hundred percent positive that there’s gin in her glass.” “What happens when the gin runs low?” I asked. “And the vermouth and olives?” “Well, I go to the liquor store, of course!” Suzanne said. “We just don’t discuss it.” “No! Of course not!” I said. Weren’t they merely doing their part to live up to our hard-earned reputation as eccentric southerners? And of course, the more wine we consumed, the more we revealed about ourselves. Going through Kathryn’s clothes, papers, and books had once again been profoundly unnerving. We were all just wrung out. “You know what was really strange?” Carrie said. “What?” Suzanne said. “Seeing what she read,” Carrie said. “I’d bet you a tooth that I’ve read all the same fiction authors that she did. Ann Patchett, Anne Tyler, Anne Rivers Siddons, Anna Quindlen—all the Anns. But we never talked about books. Not even once.” “Well, she played her cards close,” Suzanne said. “But she read lots of people. She always had a book with her.” “Didn’t

Look at that sky,” Livvie said. “Uh-huh,” I said. “Ain’t it marvelous?” “Yeah, it’s marvelous.” “No, chile o’ mine, you ain’t understanding what I’m telling you.” Her voice was so soft and loving, it was hard to keep my worries on my mind. “What do ya mean?” “See them stars starting to twinkle? They’s Gawd’s diamonds. You ’eah me? And the night sky turning so blue? That’s He sapphires for us. And see that streak of red across the horizon? They’s a field of rubies. Whenever you feel troubled and poor in the spirit, just go look at the sunset and all Gawd’s riches just be a-waiting for you.” “Yeah, sure, Livvie,” I said. “I ain’t lying to you, chile. I is telling you for true.” I looked at the sky and it was full of riches,

Nut Cake 3½ cups plain flour, not self-rising ½ pound salted butter, room temperature 3 cups sugar 6 large eggs 1 cup heavy whipping cream 3 cups chopped pecans 1 teaspoon vanilla extract 1 teaspoon lemon extract Preheat oven to 325°F. Generously grease a tube pan with Crisco and lightly flour. Sift flour three times and set aside. Cream butter with sugar until light and fluffy. Add eggs, one at a time. Beat only until each disappears. Blend in 1 cup flour followed by ½ cup whipping cream. Repeat with 1 cup flour then ½ cup whipping cream. Add 1 cup flour. Coat pecans with remaining ½ cup flour. Carefully fold pecans into batter. Fold in vanilla and lemon extracts. Add batter to pan, level it, and knock bottom of pan on the edge of the counter, once, to get out the air bubbles. Place in the center of the oven and bake for 1 hour and 15 minutes, or until it’s medium brown on top and begins to pull away from the sides of the pan.* Remove from oven. Wait 10 minutes and invert on a cake plate. Do not cover until cool to touch.

Even Momma, hard-hearted as she may have seemed, felt very badly for the boys.

rearranges the truth so that people will like

If I have learned anything about raising children, it’s that keeping the conversation going is so very important. Once you stop talking to each other terrible things can happen

experts in my field have acknowledged that the need to have control over another human being was an example of abuse.

it was as hot as the nails in the planks on the bottom floor of Dante’s hell.

there were days when I wished for a reprieve – maybe a trip somewhere I’ve never been.

Well, there’s no point in being pessimistic until there’s a reason for it, right?” “A friend of mine used to say that worriment was like paying the toll twice—wait till you see if there’s a toll on the bridge before you start digging around for change.

wait until you have all the facts, assess the facts, consider all your options, and then one of two things happen next. One, you go to war with the conviction that you will win. You pull out every trick in your book, you fight with every ounce of strength you have. You never let the enemy sense your fear. And if you don’t win, at the very least, you make sure the enemy is severely injured. If there is no chance of victory, none whatsoever, then you get on your knees and try to cut a deal with God. I wasn’t about to cut a deal with anybody until I had all the facts. Realizing it would be at least a few days until the facts were known, I opted for self-imposed calm and a huge case of denial.

I recognized then that I had grown from a juvenile, genuflecting, bead-pushing, novena-saying, Friday Fish Fry staunch believer into a lonely, cynical agnostic. A lonely, cynical agnostic. So in my time of need, I turned to what I trusted—the wisdom and love of my brother and sister-in-law.

My days there utterly vibrate with excitement. The work is scintillating,” I

at my age, if I were sexually harassed, I’d send the guy flowers,

Love. It mystically transcended death. It healed hearts. It changed thoughts. And when you met it head-on, it gave you courage in return.

Each one of us hugged her with all our might. The strength of her arms healed me on the spot. When she saw the fear in our faces transform from fright to calm, she released us, one by one.

good manners are the moisturizer of life.

But it was more than that and her fried chicken. Her passion for righteousness was stronger than our frenzy.

When folks around you do crazy things, it’s the devil trying to distract you from your purpose.

That’s right. Old Beelzebub himself. That’s how the devil works. He ain’t no fool with a red suit and a tail. No, he works on your mind. When you let your mind dwell on trouble, you can’t be doing what you needs to be doing. Then he wins, you see? He can’t win unless you let him because he ain’t got no power on his own.

Listen to Livvie, I tell you what’s on my mind, not to make you feel bad. I want you to think. Gawd got His special purpose for you, just like He does for every one of us. He done give you a very good mind. The world you have when you grow up is gonna be the one you make. You use your mind and make it better.

Something in me had changed when Archie asked me if I wanted Sharon’s cats. I thought then that if I didn’t start saying what it was that I wanted, I shouldn’t expect to get it. Archie got so off base about me because I let him be so off base about me. I was never clear.

Laughter came easily. Kindness was in abundance. And we had a lot in common. Not to mention no small amount of heat for each other.

So, tell me what else is happening in Holly World.

This was love, and I was astonished by its power.

Everyone was happy. That may seem to be an overly simplistic way to state the very complicated facts, but it was the truth. That happiness was so hard won. I had scars to prove it. We all did.

The colors are a little brighter. The air is a little sweeter. Jokes are funnier, love runs deeper, and life overall is richer.

Remember Tolstoy? He said something pretty clever. He said, “One can no more approach people without love than one can approach bees without care.” Wouldn’t the world be a better place if we took that tiny bit of advice?

At her funeral service, our family’s reverend reminded me that “I feel great loss because I had great love.” Nothing could be more true, because that is the price of great love.

Work hard, love hard, be generous, be thoughtful, be brave, and know the value of sharing a great story, especially if it makes you laugh.

Some people are just like that, Abigail. If it’s good for them, then it’s good. If it’s bad for them, then it’s bad. They rearrange morality to suit their ambitions. Nat simply

thought that it must be hard for old people to know when they were being horrible and old-fashioned.