Dell My Quotes

It's not reasonable to love people who are only going to die," she said. Nash thought about that for a moment, stroking Small's neck with great deliberation, as if the fate of the Dells depended on that smooth, careful movement. "I have two responses to that," He said at last. "First, everyone is going to die. Second, love is stupid. It has nothing to do with reason. You love whomever you love. Against all reason I loved my father." He looked at her keenly. "Did you love yours?" "Yes," she whispered. He stroked Small's nose. "I love you," he said, "even knowing you'll never have me. And I love my brother, more than I ever realized before you came along. You can't help whom you love, Lady. Nor can you know what it's liable to cause you to do.

O Solitude! if I must with thee dwell, Let it not be among the jumbled heap Of murky buildings; climb with me the steep,— Nature’s observatory—whence the dell, Its flowery slopes, its river’s crystal swell, May seem a span; let me thy vigils keep ’Mongst boughs pavillion’d, where the deer’s swift leap Startles the wild bee from the fox-glove bell. But though I’ll gladly trace these scenes with thee, Yet the sweet converse of an innocent mind, Whose words are images of thoughts refin’d, Is my soul’s pleasure; and it sure must be Almost the highest bliss of human-kind, When to thy haunts two kindred spirits flee.

Roen snorted. "You two have the strangest relationship in the Dells." Archer smiled slightly. "She won't consent to make it a marriage." "I can't imagine what's stopping her. I don't suppose you've considered being less munificent with your love?" "Would you marry me, Fire, if I slept in no one's bed but yours?" He knew the answer to that, but it didn't hurt to remind him. "No, and I should find my bed quite cramped.

She hated her job the same way I hated my jobs because she knew she was worth more, but she also hated herself so there wasn't much point in trying to do better.

It's not reasonable to love people who are only going to die," she said. Nash thought about that for a moment, stroking Small's neck with great deliberation, as if the fate of the Dells depended on that smooth, careful movement. "I have two responses to that," he said finally. "First, everyone's going to die. Second, love is stupid. It has nothing to do with reason. You love whomever you love. Against all reasons I loved my father." He looked at her keenly. "Did you love yours?" "Yes," she whispered. He stroked Small's nose. "I love you," he said, "even knowing you'll never have me. And I love my brother, more than I ever realized before you came along. You can't help whom you love, Lady. Nor can you know what it's liable to cause you to do." She made a connection then. Surprised she sat back from him and studied his face, soft with shadows and light. She saw a part of him she hadn't seen before. "You came to me for lessons to guard your mind," she said, "and you stopped asking me to marry you, both at the same time. You did those things out of love for your brother." "Well" he said, looking a bit sheepishly at the floor. "I also took a few swings at him, but that's neither here nor there." "You're good at love," she said simply, because it seemed to her that it was true. "I'm not so good at love. I'm like a barbed creature. I push everyone I love away." He shrugged. "I don't mind you pushing me away if it means you love me, little sister.

My very photogenic mother died in a freak accident (picnic, lightning) when I was three, and, save for a pocket of warmth in the darkest past, nothing of her subsists within the hollows and dells of memory, over which, if you can still stand my style (I am writing under observation), the sun of my infancy had set: surely, you all know those redolent remnants of day suspended, with the midges, about some hedge in bloom or suddenly entered and traversed by the rambler, at the bottom of a hill, in the summer dusk; a furry warmth, golden midges.

Se non c'e' amore, non solo inaridisce la vita delle persone, ma anche quella delle citta

I read somewhere that the best lovers are best friends first. And Prince, you’ve become my very best friend. That’s what I missed the most. I missed our laughs, and our talks… and your clumsy ass.

Dopo aver fatto l'amore, dormiremo abbracciati. La tua schiena contro il mio ventre. E io stringerò le dita dei piedi attorno alle tue caviglie, come delle mollette, perché tu non possa volar via la notte. Saremo come un'immagine in un libro di scienze: un frutto tagliato a metà, tu la buccia e io il torsolo.

After that summer, after being friends with Won-a-nee and her young, I never killed another otter. I had an otter cape for my shoulders, which I used until it wore out, but never again did I make a new one. Nor did I ever kill another cormorant for its beautiful feathers, though they have long, think necks and make ugly sounds when they talk to each other. Nor did I kill seals for their sinews, using instead kelp to bind the things that needed it. Nor did I kill another wild dog, nor did I try to speak another sea elephant. Ulape would have laughed at me, and other would have laughed, too -- my father most of all. Yet this is the way I felt about the animals who had become my friends and those who were not, bu in time could be. If Ulape and my father had come back and laughed, and all the other had come back and laughed, still I would have felt the same way, for animals and birds are like people, too, though they do no talk the same or do the same things. Without them the earth would be an unhappy place.

The morning was fresh from the rain. The smell of the tide pools was strong. Sweet odors came from the wild grasses in the ravines and from the sand plants on the dunes. I sang as I went down the trail to the beach and along the beach to the sandspit. I felt that the day was an omen of good fortune. It was a good day to begin my new home.

LADY CROOM: ....My lake is drained to a ditch for no purpose I can understand, unless it be that snipe and curlew have deserted three counties so that they may be shot in our swamp. What you painted as forest is a mean plantation, your greenery is mud, your waterfall is wet mud, and your mount is an opencast mine for the mud that was lacking in the dell. (Pointing through the window) What is that cowshed? NOAKES: The hermitage, my lady? LADY CROOM: It is a cowshed. NOAKES: It is, I assure you, a very habitable cottage, properly founded and drained, two rooms and a closet under a slate roof and a stone chimney -- LADY CROOM: And who is to live in it? NOAKES: Why, the hermit. LADY CROOM: Where is he? NOAKES: Madam? LADY CROOM: You surely do not supply an hermitage without a hermit? NOAKES: Indeed, madam -- LADY CROOM: Come, come, Mr Noakes. If I am promised a fountain I expect it to come with water. What hermits do you have? NOAKES: I have no hermits, my lady. LADY CROOM: Not one? I am speechless. NOAKES: I am sure a hermit can be found. One could advertise. LADY CROOM: Advertise? NOAKES: In the newspapers. LADY CROOM: But surely a hermit who takes a newspaper is not a hermit in whom one can have complete confidence.

Don’t ever think I fell for you or fell over you. I didn’t fall in love, I rose in it. I saw you and made up my mind. My mind. And I made up my mind to follow you too,

I told her once I wasn't good at anything. She ran her thumb over my lips raw from kissing her and said survival was a talent.

Se non c'è amore, non solo inaridisce la vita delle persone, ma anche quella delle città.

Many of our tribe went to the cliff each night to count the number killed during the day. They counted the dead otter and thought of the beads and other things that each pelt meant. But I never went to the cove and whenever I saw the hunters with their long spears skimming over the water, I was angry, for these animals were my friends. It was fun to see them playing or sunning themselves among the kelp. It more fun than the thought of beads to wear around my neck.

My brother Ramo was only a little boy half my age, which was twelve. He was small for one who had lived so many suns and moons, but quick as a cricket.

In the dresser mirror, my face looks the same, but I feel something happening around me, some change as palpable as weather. Stuck in the mirror are mementos from my childhood—red and yellow ribbons for various underachievements, a brown corsage from grad school graduation, a curling and faded picture of me petting a deer in Wisconsin—which is now over. I wandered through it and came out the other side. It’s a stark feeling. Like getting to the last page of a book and seeing ‘The End.’ Even if you didn’t like the story that much, or your childhood, you read it, you lived it. And now it’s over, book closed, that long-ago deer you petted in the Dells as dead as the one in The Yearling.

Just the usual. Aspirin, vitamin C, a shot of whiskey.” That last was my great aunt Maureen’s remedy for whatever ailed you. She usually came down with “something” once a week.

As long as there is life, my dear friends, laughter will be the weapon of we who mock it even as we struggle to understand it.

Lo scopo dell’arte è provocare una reazione. Un’emozione, se vuole. La conoscenza c’entra ben poco.

Ci siamo spogliati nel palazzo degli specchi. Abbiamo ispezionato con tenerezza le ferite l'uno dell'altro. La mia faccia gonfia e il labbro rotto. Le abrasioni di Barry sui fianchi e sulle cosce e le escoriazioni sulle mani e le ginocchia, dovute allo sfregamento sul marciapiede. Nient'altro. E nessun'altra scusa per toccare, seguire e accarezzare i contorni dei nostri corpi per la prima volta.

I also knew Dell was a good boy with bad friends. I was one of them, and I worried about leading him astray. But in those early years he made me feel cleaner, somehow; like all the shit we’d gone through wasn’t so bad. Like I could deal with it, so long as he was by my side. It had always been the way – but still, I was sure Dell would disappear one day. I had nightmares about what I would do if they released him before me on good behaviour, if he should leave me behind in this fucked up limbo of our youth. Nightmares where if I didn’t hold on to him, those long legs would take him away somewhere better...

I watch my parents interact—how easily they’re able to go from being playful one moment to having a serious conversation about the latest news cycle the next. Their body language, so in sync with each other, so

Quando si è al mondo da poco è difficile capire quali sono i disastri all'origine del nostro sentimento del disastro, forse non se ne sente nemmeno la necessità. I grandi, in attesa di domani, si muovono in un presente dietro al quale c'è ieri o l'altro ieri o al massimo la settimana scorsa: al resto non vogliono pensare. I piccoli non sanno il significato di ieri, dell'altro ieri, e nemmeno di domani, tutto è questo, ora.

per troppo tempo l'Afghanistan è stato usato come terreno di scontro nel "Grande Gioco" delle superpotenze. (...) hanno dato denaro e potere ai fondementalisti e signori della guerra, che hanno trascinato il nostro popolo in una situazione drammatica.

My granddaughter. She ran away to experience the nascent stirrings of love (le nascenti agitazioni dell'amore—Cress remembered the words from a poem) and now love has run away from her. She's somewhere up there—and he pointed to the black hills—cradling a broken heart, attempting to understand the complexity of human emotion. Why it's left her diminished when not long ago she felt like a conqueror. And here am I thinking what words can give the experience value. How to explain to her that the improbability of love, which she feels will last forever, will one day shine its light again. What words of consolation can be offered? What words of reassurance can I give her that a life lived without the object of her love is still worthwhile and hers for the taking?

Oh, Lily", mormora, scuotendo la testa. "Ne so parecchio dell'amore. So cosa significa volere una ragazza, sognarla e desiderarla con tutta l'anima. Ne so abbastanza da non confondere cosa è reale e cosa invece è solo frutto della mia fantasia." Gira un pochino la testa per guardarmi, e io mi ritrovo a dire: "Ti-tipo?" "Tipo quando lei piange e il mio cuore va in mille pezzi e tutto quello cui riesco a pensare è come farle dimenticare la causa della sua tristezza." Il suo viso è impassibile, senza l'ombra di un'emozione. Le sue parole, e tutto il sentimento che sottintendono e che mi travolgono grazie al legame, rendono tutto molto chiaro. "Questa è realtà." La mia voce è appena un sussurro quando gli dico: "E la fantasia?" "Credere che prima o poi anche lei proverà le stesse cose per me.

I'll be glad when this election is over!" Mary Anna yelled out the window of her car. She pulled the silver convertible classic Mercedes into the driveway of Eternal Slumber. "I was mobbed by O'Dell's sister and my momma this morning before I even had my boobs tucked in.

Avevamo dodici anni, ma camminammo a lungo per le vie bollenti del rione, tra la polvere e le mosche che si lasciavano alle spalle i vecchi camion si passaggio, come due vecchiette che fanno il punto delle loro vite piene di delusioni e si tengono strette l'una all'altra

«Quando ero piccolo, mio nonno mi raccontava una storia a proposito dell’acqua del fiume. Diceva che se guardavi a lungo i riflessi del sole, l’acqua avrebbe premiato la tua pazienza facendoti apparire il viso del tuo vero amore». «Che storia dolce. E tu hai già visto il riflesso del tuo vero amore?», chiesi scherzosamente. Lui sostenne il mio sguardo abbastanza a lungo da farmi arrossire. «Sono stato molto paziente». Mi chinai a osservare l’acqua, sperando di riuscire a scorgere anch’io qualcosa. Ed eccolo lì, il suo riflesso ondeggiante accanto al mio.

To wonder sadly, did I say? No: a new influence began to act upon my life, and sadness, for a certain space, was held at bay. Conceive a dell, deep-hollowed in forest secresy; it lies in dimness and mist: its turf is dank, its herbage pale and humid. A storm or an axe makes a wide gap amongst the oak-trees; the breeze sweeps in; the sun looks down; the sad, cold dell becomes a deep cup of lustre; high summer pours her blue glory and her golden light out of that beauteous sky, which till now the starved hollow never saw. A new creed became mine - a belief in happiness.

My mother, Delle Hunter, was a physically small woman, yet she was the biggest person I’ve ever known. She had total focus, an attribute that deeply impressed me. She taught me by example that how we live impacts how we die. She lived a life of courage, beauty, and integrity; she died in the same manner.

Luce e silenzio: guariscono qualsiasi ferita - tranne una e quella la guariscono il buio e il silenzio. Quando mi è concesso il silenzio, scopro che non ho nostalgia delle conversazioni intelligenti, quelle di cui sentivo bisogno. Il silenzio è come l'acqua, quando la si versa sulla carne bruciata dalla febbre.

Se non c'e' amore, non solo inaridisce la vita delle persone, ma anche quella delle citta' ". Non mi ricordo come si espresse di preciso, ma il concetto era quello, e io lo associai alle nostre strade sporche, ai giardinetti polverosi, alla campagna scempiata dai palazzi nuovi, alla violenza in ogni casa, in ogni famiglia.

She looked... She looked young, and- and--" I glanced down at Rossana gazing up at me, lips parted, eyes shining, her hair loose around her shoulders, and the next words I spoke were intended with no artifice at all. "She is almost as beautiful as you." There was laughter, and I looked up, confused. "If you wish to pay court to my daughter, Matteo, you must first speak to me," Captain dell'Orte said in mock severity. Rossana's face colored pink. "Elizabetta is also very beautiful," I said quickly, thinking to cover any embarassment, but also because it was true. The adults roared with laughter. "Now Matteo seeks to woo both girls with one compliment.

I believe, and now I suspect we’re more alike than I’d imagined.” She raised her right hand. “You shall have my word,” she said. “No more secrets. Unless they’re ours together.

What’s bothering me is you always seem ready to snap my head off my shoulders and I’m not comfortable with that.

When I first got married, I took my husband by the hand and led him first to the kitchen and then to the bedroom. I said, I can only perform well in one of these rooms.

He seemed to be a genuinely kind man—when he wasn’t killing. —Helen Morrison, M.D., referring to Ed Gein in her book My Life Among the Serial Killers

He doesn't comment on any of the music I play: Sonny Rollins followed by AC/DC followed by the Broadway score from My Fair Lady.

Slowly. Very slowly, sliding my nails along the entire length of the hair. Ah. The satisfactions were immense, incalculable. All that powder flying off of me! The storms, the blizzards, the whirlwinds of whiteness! It was no easy job, let me tell you, but little by little every trace of the O’Dell’s would disappear. The do would be undone, and by the time the last bell rang and the teacher sent us home, my scalp would be tingling with happiness. It was as good as sex, mon vieux, as good as all the drugs and drink I ever poured into my system. Five years old, and every day another orgy of self-repair. No wonder I didn’t pay attention at school. I was too busy feeling myself up, too busy doing the O’Dell’s diddle.

They clung to the purple moors behind and around their dwelling - to the hollow vale into which wound between fern-bank first, and then amongst a few of the wildest little pasture that ever bordered a wilderness of heath, or gave sustenance to a flock of grey moorland sheep, with their little mossy-faced lambs: - they clung to this scene, I say, with a perfect enthusiasm of attachment. I could comprehend the feeling, and share both its strength and truth. I saw the fascination of the locality. I felt the consecration of its loneliness: my eye feasted on the outline of swell and sweep - on the wild colouring communicated to ridge and dell by moss, by heath-bell, by flower-sprinkled turf, by brillant bracken, and mellow granite crag.

I grandi, in attesa di domani, si muovono in un presente dietro al quale c'è ieri o l'altro ieri o al massimo la settimana scorsa: al resto non vogliono pensare. I piccoli non sanno il significato di ieri, dell'altro ieri, e nemmeno di domani, tutto è questo, ora: la strada è questa, il portone è questo, le scale sono queste, questa è mamma, questo è papà, questo è il giorno, questa la notte.

Dell pulled out his cell phone, speed-dialed a number, and put the phone on speaker. A woman answered with a professionally irritated tone: “What do you need now?” “Jade,” Dell said. “Nope, it’s the Easter Bunny. And your keys are on your desk.” Dell shook his head. “Now darlin’, I don’t always call you just because I’ve lost my keys.” “I’m sorry, you’re right. You wallet’s on your desk, too. As for your little black book, you’re on your own with that one, Dr. Flirt. I’m at lunch.” Dell sighed. “What did we say about you and the whole power-play thing?” “That it’s good for your ego to have at least one woman in your life that you can’t flash a smile at and have them drop their panties?” Dell grinned. “I really like it when you say ‘panties.’ And for the record, I knew where my keys and wallet were.” “No you didn’t.” “Okay, I didn’t, but that’s not why I’m calling. Can you bring burgers and fries for me and Brady? Oh, and Adam, too, or he’ll bitch like a little girl.” “You mean ‘Jade, will you pretty please bring us burgers and fries?’” “Yes,” Dell said, nodding. “That. And Cokes.” He looked at Brady, who nodded. “And don’t forget the ketchup.” “You forgot the nice words.” “Oh, I’m sorry,” Dell said. “You look fantastic today, I especially love the attitude and sarcasm you’re wearing.” Jade’s voice went saccharine sweet. “So some low-fat chicken salads, no dressing, and ice water to go, then?” “Fine,” Dell said, and sighed. “Can we please have burgers and fries?" “You forgot the ‘Thank you, Goddess Jade,’ but we’ll work on that. Later, boss.

I commenced reading. Just as the stilly hum, the embowering shade, the warm, lonely calm of my retreat were beginning to steal meaning from the page, vision from my eyes and to lure me along the track of reverie, down into some deep dell of dream-land — just then, the sharpest ring of the street-door bell to which that much-tried instrument had ever thrilled, snatched me back to consciousness.

saying I am love; and regardless of what happens with Prince, with any more of my friends, I know that I am deserving of it and that true love will find me, because I am finding it within myself. Dani

I let my soul be corrupted that day, although it would be years later before I accepted what I had done. I forgot who I was and what I should do and only thought about what I wanted and what I could do.

I affirm myself by saying I am love; and regardless of what happens with Prince, with any more of my friends, I know that I am deserving of it and that true love will find me, because I am finding it within myself.

Are you sure? Because it looks bad. And you’re pale. You’re never pale.” “I’ve seen him look much worse,” Dell said. “Like last year, when I signed him up for this online dating thing. He got all scared. He was pretty pale then.” “Because I was stalked,” Adam said. “By a crazy person.” “Aw, she wasn’t that bad. And she bought you that teddy bear, remember? Because you were her cuddle umpkins. How scary can a woman who says ‘cuddle umpkins’ be?

Fu un momento indimenticabile. Andammo verso via Caracciolo, sempre più vento, sempre più sole. Il Vesuvio era una forma delicata color pastello ai piedi della quale si ammucchiavano i ciottoli biancastri della città, il taglio color terra di Castel dell'Ovo, il mare. Ma che mare. Era agitatissimo, fragoroso, il vento toglieva il fiato, incollava i vestiti addosso e levava i capelli dalla fronte. Ci tenemmo dall'altro lato della strada insieme a una piccola folla che guardava lo spettacolo. Le onde ruzzolavano come tubi di metallo blu portando in cima la chiara d'uovo della spuma, poi si frangevano in mille schegge scintillanti e arrivavano fin sulla strada con un oh di meraviglia e timore da parte di tutti noi che guardavamo. Che peccato che non c'era Lila. Mi stenti stordita dalle raffiche potenti, dal rumore. Avevo l'impressione che, pur assorbendo molto di quello spettacolo, moltissime cose, troppe si spampanassero intorno senza lasciarsi afferrare. Mio padre mi strinse la mano come se temesse che sgusciassi via. Infatti avevo voglia di lasciarlo, correre, spostarmi, attraversare la strada, farmi investire dalle scaglie brillanti del mare. In quel momento così tremendo, pieno di luce e di clamore, mi finsi sola nel nuovo della città, nuova io stessa con tutta la vita davanti, esposta alla furia mobile delle cose ma sicuramente vincitrice: io, io e Lila, noi due con quella capacità che insieme - solo insieme - avevamo di prendere la massa di colori, di rumori, di cose e persone, e raccontarcela e darle forza".

I want to know all of your family—your aunt and her husband and her son and also your uncle the pastor. I anticipate your uncle the pastor! He will try to convert me, maybe?” “Are you kidding? Uncle Theron couldn’t convert a kitten.” “Theron,” Pyotr repeated. He made it sound like “Seron.” “You are doing this to torture me?” “Doing what?” “So many th names!” “Oh,” Kate said. “Yes, and my mother’s name was Thea.” He groaned. “What is the surname of these people?” he asked. After the briefest pause, she said, “Thwaite.” “My God!” He clapped a hand to his forehead. She laughed. “I’m pulling your leg,” she told him. He lowered his hand and looked at her. “I was just kidding,” she clarified. “Really their surname is Dell.” “Ah,” he said. “You were joking. You made a joke. You were teasing me!” And he started capering around the cart. “Oh, Kate; oh, my comical Kate; oh, Katya mine…” “Stop it!” she said. People were staring at them. “Quit that and tell me which syrup you want.” He stopped capering and selected a bottle, seemingly at random, and dropped it into the cart.

Il vento si era spostato all'interno e aveva portato via con sé la pioggia; a mezzogiorno il sole aveva fatto capolino, il cielo si era fatto terso. L'aria era luminosa e frizzante di sale e questo conferiva alla passeggiata un gusto particolare; si riusciva a sentire il rumore del mare che si frangeva sugli scogli davanti alla baia. Capitava spesso, in autunno, di avere giornate così, che non appartenevano a giornate precise e avevano una freschezza tutta loro: nell'aria c'era già il brivido delle ore d'inverno, ma il profumo era ancora quello dell'estate.

she says, her words tinged with sorrow. I stop, go and sit on the edge of her bed. We sit, silent. "I promise, I'm right here and I won't leave you." I let her feel my presence. No one could describe Alzheimer's better than this. She's lost inside her own mind. How cruel. How fucking cruel.

Un tempo pensavo che la morte potesse essere nascosta da qualche parte sul nostro corpo. Acquattata dietro la pupilla come una moneta, infilata sotto un’unghia, allacciata attorno a un polso. Una scheggia scura, affilata; una pallottola pallida, libera. Una cosa diversa per ogni persona. La durata di ogni vita predefinita. Il giorno della morte, ti si scioglie dentro a tutto il corpo, calda pallina rotta di sali da bagno. Fino a quel momento, attende – chiusa e muta. Se si sapesse dove cercare si riuscirebbe a trovarla, accoccolata nella piega dell’orecchio ad aspettare pazientemente il giorno giusto.

You have a taboo list?” Jade asked. “You don’t?” Lilah asked. Jade bit her lower lip and Adam laughed. “Jade has a list for everything.” “True,” Dell said, studying her, getting nothing from her expression. She had quite the game face, his Jade. “You do, you have lists for everything.” “Not everything.” “Jade, you have a list for every situation, big or small, from when to brush your teeth, to how to handle every potential patient to cross my door. Hell, you’ve got a list on what’s in your purse and my office fridge and—” “And don’t forget the list on how many different ways I could kill you,” she said, sipping her drink.

On the landing yesterday’s poster hooked my attention ‘Would they be dead if they’d stayed in bed?’ I had an impulse to rip it down, but that probably constituted conduct unbecoming to a nurse, as well as treason. ‘Yes, they’d be bloody dead,’ I ranted silently. ‘Dead in their beds or at the kitchen table eating their onion a day. Dead on the tram, falling down in the street, whenever the bone-man happened to catch up with them. Blame the germs, the unburied corpses, the dust of war, the circulation of wind and weather, but Lord God Almighty, blame the stars, just don’t blame the dead, because none of them wished this on themselves.

Presi l'abitudine di andare a passeggiare spesso intorno alla tenuta dei Driscoll, specie in primavera, per osservare le suore che vagavano beate tra gli alberi in fiore - dove Myra un tempo dava le sue feste, con la banda che suonava per lei. Mi sembrava che quel luogo fosse rimasto vittima di un incantesimo, come il castello della Bella Addormentata; steso tra quei fiori come un bel cadavere, era caduto in un sonno profondo, da quella notte d'inverno in cui l'Amore era uscito dal cancello per sfidare il Destino. Da allora soltanto canti, orazioni e disciplina - e il tintinnio delle campane, che pareva chiamare le sorelle in eterna preghiera.

I shot him a smile and spun back around to face my computer screen, unable to process what the hell had just happened. That was when I noticed a small Post-It-note pressed against my Dell monitor. Scribbled across the neon pink sticky was a note from Jesse: Evie, what are you so afraid of? -Jesse What was I afraid of? I was afraid of everything. I was afraid of letting people in. I was afraid of falling. But most of all, I was afraid of myself. I was my own worst enemy. I grabbed a blank Post-It note from the container on my desk and pulled a black pen out of my coat pocket. I allowed my hand to move freely, not thinking of my response. Only then, after I placed the pen down on my desk did I read what I’d written. Reality.

My own studies on the natural history of DID indicate only 20% of DID patients have an overt DID adaption on a chronic basis, and 14% of them deliberately disguise their manifestations of DID. Only 6% make their DID obvious on an ongoing basis. Eighty percent have windows of diagnosability when stressed or triggered by some significant event, interaction, situation or date. Therefore, 94% of DID patients show only mild or suggestive evidence of their conditions most of the time. Yet DID patients often will acknowledge that their personality systems are actively switching and/or far more active than it would appear on the surface (Loewenstein et al., 1987). R.P. Kluft (2009) A clinician's understanding of dissociation. pp 599-623.

Miss Brood is my right hand,” he told them. “She’s here seven days a week sometimes, and it’s only a part-time position. Avis, this is my niece Kate, who’s getting married today, and her sister, Bunny, and my brother-in-law, Louis Battista.” “Congratulations,” Miss Brood said, rising from her chair. She had turned a bright pink, for some reason. She was one of those people who look teary-eyed when they blush. “Tell them how you got the name ‘Avis,’ ” Uncle Theron said. Then, without waiting for her to speak, he said to the others, “She was delivered in a rental car.” “Oh, Reverend Dell,” Miss Brood said with a tinkly laugh. “They don’t want to hear about that!” “It was an unexpected birth,” Uncle Theron explained. “Unexpectedly rapid, that is. Of course the birth itself was expected.” “Well, naturally! It’s not as if Mama intended to have me in the car,” Miss Brood said. Dr. Battista said, “Thank God it wasn’t a Hertz.

As a world that has no well, Darting bright in forest dell; As a world without the gleam Of the downward-going stream; As a world without the glance Of the ocean's fair expanse; As a world where never rain Glittered on the sunny plain; - Such, my hear, thy world would be, If no love did flow in thee. As a world without the sound Of the rivulets underground; Or the bubbling of the spring Out of darkness wandering; Or the mighty rush and flowing Of the river's downward going; Or the music-showers that drop On the outspread beech's top; Or the ocean's mighty voice, When his lifted waves rejoice;- Such, my soul, thy world would be, If no love did sing in thee. Lady, keep they world's delight; Keep the waters in thy sight. Love hath made me strong to go, For thy sake, to realms below, Where the water's shine and hum Through the darkness never come: Let, I pray, one thought of me Spring, a little well, in thee; Lest thy loveless soul be found Like a dry and thirsty ground.

A smile curled the corner of Xavier’s mouth. “You didn’t think I would let her walk out of my arms without knowing I would see her again soon, did you?” Bryant shrugged. “Well, no. I guess not. What are you going to do now?” The lid of the case slammed shut, and Xavier jerked his vibrating phone back out of his pocket. “Well, as soon as I get these fires extinguished, I’m going to go start one with her.” Bryant laughed. “After this long, that’ll be one hell of a raging inferno.” “I hope so.

A book--a real book--is one choice, taken from a pile, opened and entered as its own singular, separate world. Once chosen, you are not holding the constant opportunity to alter or improve your choice, or simply change it just for the sake of restless change. You are there, now, without the relentless pressure of the fact that you could always be, and maybe you should be, maybe you’d be happier or more productive or different, doing something else. It's a choice I hope my kids will decide to make, often.

Dopo una dolce carezza come questa ieri mi sono lasciato trasportare sul prato davanti al deserto, e lì ho visto davvero me e te, incapaci di continuare a concentrarci sul testo. Spirava una brezza leggera, il mio giornale frusciava e le pagine del tuo libro si sono messe a scorrere da sole, velocemente. Erano le cinque di sera, il sole brillava ancora e ci siamo sentiti così chiari nella luce, quasi trasparenti. Se fosse passato qualcuno la magia sarebbe svanita, ma eravamo soli, e ancor prima di scambiarci una parola ci siamo trovati avviluppati nella ragnatela delle nostre storie. Tu hai la tua e io la mia, ed era incredibile sentire come si intrecciassero, rapidamente. Perché a volte, nei momenti più impensati, per strada, puoi sentire l’anima lacerarsi, catturata nella storia di qualcuno che ti è appena passato accanto. La maggior parte delle volte, però, quelle storie vengono sradicate e muoiono subito, senza che gli interessati si rendano conto di ciò che hanno perso. Rimane solo un leggero dolore che svanisce immediatamente, anche se in me a volte può durare ancora qualche ora, come se avessi avuto un piccolo aborto spirituale. E rimane una sorta di angoscia, la morte della storia.

I REMEMBER the day the Aleut ship came to our island. At first it seemed like a small shell afloat on the sea. Then it grew larger and was a gull with folded wings. At last in the rising sun it became what it really was—a red ship with two red sails. My brother and I had gone to the head of a canyon that winds down to a little harbor which is called Coral Cove. We had gone to gather roots that grow there in the spring. My brother Ramo was only a little boy half my age, which was twelve. He was small for one who had lived so many suns and moons, but quick as a cricket. Also foolish as a cricket when he was excited. For this reason and because I wanted him to help me gather roots and not go running off, I said nothing about the shell I saw or the gull with folded wings. I went on digging in the brush with my pointed stick as though nothing at all were happening on the sea. Even when I knew for sure that the gull was a ship with two red sails. But Ramo’s eyes missed little in the world. They were black like a lizard’s and very large and, like the eyes of a lizard, could sometimes look sleepy. This was the time when they saw the most. This was the way they looked now. They were half-closed, like those of a lizard lying on a rock about to flick out its tongue to catch a fly. “The sea is smooth,” Ramo said. “It is a flat stone without any scratches.” My brother liked to pretend that one thing was another. “The sea is not a stone without scratches,” I said. “It is water and no waves.” “To me it is a blue stone,” he said. “And far away on the edge of it is a small cloud which sits on the stone.” “Clouds do not sit on stones. On blue ones or black ones or any kind of stones.” “This one does.” “Not on the sea,” I said. “Dolphins sit there, and gulls, and cormorants, and otter, and whales too, but not clouds.” “It is a whale, maybe.” Ramo was standing on one foot and then the other, watching the ship coming, which he did not know was a ship because he had never seen one. I had never seen one either, but I knew how they looked because I had been told. “While you gaze at the sea,” I said, “I dig roots. And it is I who will eat them and you who will not.” Ramo began to punch at the earth with his stick, but as the ship came closer, its sails showing red through the morning mist, he kept watching it, acting all the time as if he were not. “Have you ever seen a red whale?” he asked. “Yes,” I said, though I never had. “Those I have seen are gray.” “You are very young and have not seen everything that swims in the world.” Ramo picked up a root and was about to drop it into the basket. Suddenly his mouth opened wide and then closed again. “A canoe!” he cried. “A great one, bigger than all of our canoes together. And red!” A canoe or a ship, it did not matter to Ramo. In the very next breath he tossed the root in the air and was gone, crashing through the brush, shouting as he went. I kept on gathering roots, but my hands trembled as I dug in the earth, for I was more excited than my brother. I knew that it was a ship there on the

To the Highland Girl of Inversneyde SWEET Highland Girl, a very shower Of beauty is thy earthly dower! Twice seven consenting years have shed Their utmost bounty on thy head: And these gray rocks, this household lawn, These trees—a veil just half withdrawn, This fall of water that doth make A murmur near the silent lake, This little bay, a quiet road That holds in shelter thy abode; In truth together ye do seem Like something fashion’d in a dream; Such forms as from their covert peep When earthly cares are laid asleep! But O fair Creature! in the light Of common day, so heavenly bright I bless Thee, Vision as thou art, I bless thee with a human heart: God shield thee to thy latest years! I neither know thee nor thy peers: And yet my eyes are fill’d with tears. With earnest feeling I shall pray For thee when I am far away; For never saw I mien or face In which more plainly I could trace Benignity and home-bred sense Ripening in perfect innocence. Here scatter’d, like a random seed, Remote from men, Thou dost not need The embarrass’d look of shy distress, And maidenly shamefacédness: Thou wear’st upon thy forehead clear The freedom of a mountaineer: A face with gladness overspread, Soft smiles, by human kindness bred; And seemliness complete, that sways Thy courtesies, about thee plays; With no restraint, but such as springs From quick and eager visitings Of thoughts that lie beyond the reach Of thy few words of English speech: A bondage sweetly brook’d, a strife That gives thy gestures grace and life! So have I, not unmoved in mind, Seen birds of tempest-loving kind, Thus beating up against the wind. What hand but would a garland cull For thee who art so beautiful? O happy pleasure! here to dwell Beside thee in some heathy dell; Adopt your homely ways, and dress, A shepherd, thou a shepherdess! But I could frame a wish for thee More like a grave reality: Thou art to me but as a wave Of the wild sea: and I would have Some claim upon thee, if I could, Though but of common neighbourhood. What joy to hear thee, and to see! Thy elder brother I would be, Thy father, anything to thee. Now thanks to Heaven! that of its grace Hath led me to this lonely place: Joy have I had; and going hence I bear away my recompense. In spots like these it is we prize Our memory, feel that she hath eyes: Then why should I be loth to stir? I feel this place was made for her; To give new pleasure like the past, Continued long as life shall last. Nor am I loth, though pleased at heart, Sweet Highland Girl! from thee to part; For I, methinks, till I grow old As fair before me shall behold As I do now, the cabin small, The lake, the bay, the waterfall; And Thee, the spirit of them all

Così Stefano aveva continuato col suo lavoro senza difendere l’onore della sua promessa sposa, Lila aveva continuato con la sua vita di fidanzata senza ricorrere al trincetto o ad altro, i Solara avevano continuato a diffondere oscenità. La lasciai, ero stupefatta. Cosa stava accadendo? Non capivo. Mi sembrava più chiaro il comportamento dei Solara, mi sembrava coerente con il mondo che conoscevamo fin da bambini. Lei e Stefano invece cosa avevano in mente, dove pensavano di vivere? Si comportavano in un modo che non si trovava nemmeno nei poemi che studiavo a scuola, nei romanzi che leggevo. Ero perplessa. Non reagivano alle offese, anche a quella veramente insopportabile che gli stavano facendo i Solara. Sfoggiavano gentilezza e cortesia con tutti, come se fossero John e Jacqueline Kennedy in visita a un quartiere di pezzenti. Quando uscivano a passeggio insieme, con lui che le teneva un braccio intorno alle spalle, sembrava che nessuna delle vecchie regole valesse per loro: ridevano, scherzavano, si stringevano, si baciavano sulle labbra. Li vedevo sfrecciare nella decappottabile, da soli anche la sera, sempre vestiti come attori del cinema, e pensavo: se ne vanno chissà dove senza sorveglianza, e non di nascosto ma col consenso dei genitori, col consenso di Rino, a fare le cose loro senza dar peso a ciò che dice la gente. Era Lila a piegare Stefano a quei comportamenti che ne stavano facendo la coppia più ammirata e più chiacchierata del rione? Era quella l’ultima novità che s’era inventata? Voleva uscire dal rione restando nel rione? Voleva trascinarci fuori da noi stessi, strapparci la vecchia pelle e imporcene una nuova, adeguata a quella che si stava fabbricando lei?

Come sapete la domanda che più spesso viene posta a noi scrittori, la domanda preferita è: perché scrive? Io scrivo perché sento il bisogno innato di scrivere! Scrivo perché non posso fare un lavoro normale, come gli altri. 
Scrivo perché voglio leggere libri come quelli che scrivo. 
Scrivo perché ce l'ho con voi, con tutti. Scrivo perché mi piace stare chiuso in una stanza a scrivere tutto il giorno.
 Scrivo perché posso sopportare la realtà soltanto trasformandola.
 Scrivo perché tutto il mondo conosca il genere di vita che abbiamo vissuto, che viviamo io, gli altri, tutti noi a Istanbul, in Turchia.
 Scrivo perché amo l'odore della carta, della penna e dell'inchiostro.
 Scrivo perché credo nella letteratura, nell'arte del romanzo più di quanto io creda in qualunque cosa. 
Scrivo per abitudine, per passione.
 Scrivo perché ho paura di essere dimenticato. 
Scrivo perché apprezzo la fama e l'interesse che ne derivano. Scrivo per star solo. Forse 
scrivo perché spero di capire il motivo per cui ce l'ho così con voi, con tutti. 
Scrivo perché mi piace essere letto.
 Scrivo perché una volta che ho iniziato un romanzo, un saggio, una pagina, voglio finirli. 
Scrivo perché tutti se lo aspettano da me.
 Scrivo perché come un bambino credo nell'immortalità delle biblioteche e nella posizione che i miei libri occupano negli scaffali. 
Scrivo perché la vita, il mondo, tutto è incredibilmente bello e sorprendente. 
Scrivo perché è esaltante trasformare in parole tutte le bellezze e ricchezze della vita. 
Scrivo non per raccontare una storia ma per costruirla. 
Scrivo per sfuggire alla sensazione di essere diretto in un luogo che, come in un sogno, non riesco a raggiungere. 
Scrivo perché non sono mai riuscito ad essere felice. 
Scrivo per essere felice.

The Venetians catalogue everything, including themselves. ‘These grapes are brown,’ I complain to the young vegetable-dealer in Santa Maria Formosa. ‘What is wrong with that ? I am brown,’ he replies. ‘I am the housemaid of the painter Vedova,’ says a maid, answering the telephone. ‘I am a Jew,’ begins a cross-eyed stranger who is next in line in a bookshop. ‘Would you care to see the synagogue?’ Almost any Venetian, even a child, will abandon whatever he is doing in order to show you something. They do not merely give directions; they lead, or in some cases follow, to make sure you are still on the right way. Their great fear is that you will miss an artistic or ‘typical’ sight. A sacristan, who has already been tipped, will not let you leave until you have seen the last Palma Giovane. The ‘pope’ of the Chiesa dei Greci calls up to his housekeeper to throw his black hat out the window and settles it firmly on his broad brow so that he can lead us personally to the Archaeological Museum in the Piazza San Marco; he is afraid that, if he does not see to it, we shall miss the Greek statuary there. This is Venetian courtesy. Foreigners who have lived here a long time dismiss it with observation : ‘They have nothing else to do.’ But idleness here is alert, on the qui vive for the opportunity of sightseeing; nothing delights a born Venetian so much as a free gondola ride. When the funeral gondola, a great black-and-gold ornate hearse, draws up beside a fondamenta, it is an occasion for aesthetic pleasure. My neighbourhood was especially favoured this way, because across the campo was the Old Men’s Home. Everyone has noticed the Venetian taste in shop displays, which extends down to the poorest bargeman, who cuts his watermelons in half and shows them, pale pink, with green rims against the green side-canal, in which a pink palace with oleanders is reflected. Che bello, che magnifici, che luce, che colore! - they are all professori delle Belle Arti. And throughout the Veneto, in the old Venetian possessions, this internal tourism, this expertise, is rife. In Bassano, at the Civic Museum, I took the Mayor for the local art-critic until he interupted his discourse on the jewel-tones (‘like Murano glass’) in the Bassani pastorals to look at his watch and cry out: ‘My citizens are calling me.’ Near by, in a Paladian villa, a Venetian lasy suspired, ‘Ah, bellissima,’ on being shown a hearthstool in the shape of a life-size stuffed leather pig. Harry’s bar has a drink called a Tiziano, made of grapefruit juice and champagne and coloured pink with grenadine or bitters. ‘You ought to have a Tintoretto,’ someone remonstrated, and the proprietor regretted that he had not yet invented that drink, but he had a Bellini and a Giorgione. When the Venetians stroll out in the evening, they do not avoid the Piazza San Marco, where the tourists are, as Romans do with Doney’s on the Via Veneto. The Venetians go to look at the tourists, and the tourists look back at them. It is all for the ear and eye, this city, but primarily for the eye. Built on water, it is an endless succession of reflections and echoes, a mirroring. Contrary to popular belief, there are no back canals where tourist will not meet himself, with a camera, in the person of the another tourist crossing the little bridge. And no word can be spoken in this city that is not an echo of something said before. ‘Mais c’est aussi cher que Paris!’ exclaims a Frenchman in a restaurant, unaware that he repeats Montaigne. The complaint against foreigners, voiced by a foreigner, chimes querulously through the ages, in unison with the medieval monk who found St. Mark’s Square filled with ‘Turks, Libyans, Parthians, and other monsters of the sea’. Today it is the Germans we complain of, and no doubt they complain of the Americans, in the same words.

CREONTA: Rope! My rope! Hang those two thieves by the neck until they are dead. THE ROPE: Alack, but vile and ill-natured female! Upon wherein did thine affections tarry when I didst but lie here and rot for many a year? Nay, but those fellows tooketh care to remove the wetness that didst plagueth me of late and hath laid me upon the cool ground to revel in a state of dryness. Nay, I wouldst not delay them in their noble course for all thine base and bestial howling. CREONTA: Then, you, dearest donkey, precious beast of burden, tear those two apart and eat their flesh! DONKEY: Nay, but alas for many a season didst you but keep the food of the tummy from me and my mouth when it was that I required it of you. These fine gentlemen of fortune didst but give me carrots of which to partake which I did most verily and forthsoothe with merriment. I havest decided that thou dost suck most verily and no longer will I layth the smackth down in thine name but will rather let such gentlemen as these go free of themselves. TRUFFALDINO: [To the audience.] Well, what do you know? Fakespeare!

C’est à Ibn ‘Arabi que l’on attribue le rôle le plus éminent dans cette interprétation de plus en plus approfondie du principe féminin. Pour lui non seulement la nafs [âme] est féminine – comme c’est le cas généralement – mais aussi dhât, « essence divine », de sorte que la féminité, dans son œuvre, est la forme sous laquelle Dieu se manifeste le mieux (…) cette phrase savant exprime, en effet, parfaitement le concept d’Ibn ‘Arabi puisqu’il écrit au sujet de sa compréhension du divin : « Dieu ne peut être envisagé en dehors de la matière et il est envisagé plus parfaitement en la matière humaine que dans toute autre et plus parfaitement en la femme qu’en l’homme. Car Il est envisagé soit comme le principe qui agit soit comme le principe qui subit, soit comme les deux à la fois (…) quand Dieu se manifeste sous la forme de la femme Il est celui qui agit grâce au fait qu’Il domine totalement l’âme de l’homme et qu’Il l’incite à se donner et à se soumettre entièrement à Lui (…) c’est pourquoi voir Dieu dans la femme signifie Le voir sous ces deux aspects, une telle vision est plus complète que de Le voir sous toute autre forme par laquelle Il se manifeste. » (…) Des auteurs mystiques postérieurs à Ibn ‘Arabi développèrent ses idées et représentèrent les mystères de la relation physique entre l’homme et la femme par des descriptions tout à fait concrètes. L’opuscule du soufi cachemirien Ya’qub Sarfi (mort en 1594), analysé par Sachiko Murata, en est un exemple typique ; il y explique la nécessité des ablutions complètes après l’acte d’amour par l’expérience « religieuse » de l’amour charnel : au moment de ce plaisir extatique extrême – le plus fort que l’on puisse imagine et vivre – l’esprit est tant occupé par les manifestations du divin qu’il perd toute relation avec son corps. Par les ablutions, il ramène ce corps devenu quasiment cadavre à la vie normale. (…) On retrouve des considérations semblables concernant le « mystère du mariage » chez Kasani, un mystique originaire de Farghana (mort en 1543). Eve, n’avait-elle pas été créée afin que « Adam pût se reposer auprès d’elle », comme il est dit dans le Coran (sourate 7:189) ? Elle était le don divin pour le consoler dans sa solitude, la manifestation de cet océan divin qu’il avait quitté. La femme est la plus belle manifestation du divin, tel fut le sentiment d’Ibn ‘Arabi.

In 1958, two scientist, Santini and Dell'Erba studied the spread of rigor mortis through the body. But until now no one had ever thought to consider its geographic diffusion: how could I help but feel misunderstood? The rigor mortis of planet Earth started with my heart: not only was it the first organ in my body to stop, it was also the first to harden. Two hours after my death, while I was still in the tub, its cavities began to tighten in on themselves, and its walls thickened as if to brace themselves against this one last disappointment. Then came time for my eyelids and all the muscles of my gaunt face. Then for the muscles of my head and neck, my upper body , my belly, my slightly bowed legs, my feet. Twelve hours later, I was completely rigid. Then came time for the rest of the planet.

I blurt out my story, how I had hired Nicola to be the maîtress d'hôtel at our restaurant, Grappa, when I was seven months pregnant. How I suspected Jake and Nicola had begun having an affair when Chloe was just hours old; and how one night, when Chloe woke up and Jake still wasn't home at two-thirty in the morning, I bundled her up and strapped her into the portable infant carrier, walked the three blocks to the restaurant, and snuck in the side door. The door was locked, but the alarm wasn't on, the first odd thing, because Jake always locks up and sets the alarm before leaving the restaurant. Chloe had fallen back to sleep in her infant seat on the way over, so I carefully nestled the carrier into one of the leather banquettes. I crept through the dining room and into the darkened kitchen, where I could see the office at the far end was aglow with candlelight. As I moved closer I could hear music. "Nessun dorma," from Turandot, Jake's favorite. How fitting. On the marble pastry station I found an open bottle of wine and two empty glasses. It was, to add insult to what was about to be serious injury, a 1999 Tenuta dell'Ornellaia Masseto Toscano- the most expensive wine in our cellar. Three hundred and eighty dollar foreplay. I picked up the bottle and followed the trail of clothes to the office. Jake's checkered chef's pants and tunic, Nicola's slinky black dress, which I hated her for being able to wear, and a Victoria's Secret lacy, black bra. They were on the leather couch, Nicola on top, her wild, black hair spilling over Jake's chest, humping away like wild dogs. Carried away by their passion, they were oblivious to my approach. I drained the last of the wine from the bottle and hurled it over their backsides where it smashed against the wall, announcing my arrival. Before Jake could completely extricate himself, I jumped on Nicola's back and grabbed hold of her hair and pulled with all the strength of my hot-blooded Mediterranean ancestors. Nicola screamed, and clawed the air, her flailing hands accidentally swiping Jake squarely on the chin. He squirmed out from under her and tried to tackle me, but I'm not a small woman. Armed with my humiliation and anger, I was a force in motion. In desperation, Jake butted his head into the middle of my back, wrapped his hands around my waist, and pulled with all his might. He succeeded, pulling so hard that Nicola's hair, which I had resolutely refused to yield, came away in great clumps in my hands. Nicola's screams turned to pathetic whimpers as she reached to cover her burning scalp. She then curled herself into a fetal position, naked and bleeding, and began to keen.

And you’re spending the whole summer in Rome?” I ask. “Digging things up?” He absentmindedly plays with a loose string at the hem of his shirt. “We’ll be here a few more weeks. Then we’ll move on to a dig in Tuscany. And we get weekends off, sometimes even three-day weekends, so I plan on traveling when I can. Blowing all my graduation money,” he adds with a laugh. “Where to?” “Pompeii, for obvious reasons, but I also want to see Venice before it sinks. And everyone says the place to see at least once in your life is the Cinque Terre.” I do my best to repeat the words he just said. “Cinque Terre?” “It means ‘the five lands.’ It’s a section of the northern coast, the Italian Riviera. Five little fishing villages all connected by a path along the cliffs of the sea. The trail’s pretty famous. It’s called la Via dell’Amore.” The words flow like he’s a local. I look away quickly when I realize I’m staring at his lips, silently begging for him to keep speaking in Italian. “Sounds beautiful.” “I’ve heard it’s one of the best places to photograph in the country,” he says, pointing to my camera. “You should go and check it out. I mean, since your summer’s free now.” He flashes a sneaky smile. My partner in crime. I return the smile. “Maybe I will.

Benvenuta a la Via dell’Amore,” he says, poking a bright pink lock with Ashlee + Jake written on it in white paint. “What are all the locks for?” “Do you know the history of la Via dell’Amore?” I know a little, but I’d rather hear it from him, so I shake my head and he continues. “When this path between Riomaggiore and Manarola was not here, many people did not marry outside of their own village. But with the, ah, connection to the next village, love was exciting again. Lovers walked along the seaside here to meet with one another.” I take in the view as we stroll the crowded path. High cliffs stretch up to our right, with sections of loose rock held down by wire mesh, padlocks hooked onto every wire within reaching distance. To our left, the Ligurian Sea--clear and bright, blue and green--glimmers in the afternoon sun. Fishing boats and passenger ferries race along the coast. The temptation to take pictures of every detail around me is strong, but that would require letting go of Bruno’s hand, and I’m not sure I want to just yet. I’m curious to see how long he’ll hold it. “The locks are for the tourists, a symbol of love for all to see, for the eternity. Until they are cut down.” I gape at him. “Cut down?” He laughs. “Si. This path would be nothing but locks if they were not taken away.

Plus, my mom has MS and gets her hair braided, so she doesn’t have to worry about doing it, and I help her take them out all the time. It’s sort of like a bonding moment for us.

Is it a date?” Prince looks back at me. I gulp. “Hanging out, right?” He grins back. “Is that what you kids call it?” Dad teases. I want to legit die right here. Prince chuckles and glances at me. “Yes, it is. But I can sense your daughter doesn’t trust me… yet.” He steals a glance at me. I look away, trying to avoid showing my cheeks, which are starting to burn. “So if this is the only way I can spend time with her and prove my intentions, I’m willing to do it.

Maybe, but life gives us free will. He wanted more from life, and he felt I was holding him back. But look what God gave me,” she replies, holding my chin. “You. He left us and you stepped up and became a young man right before my very eyes. So that’s what I mean, baby. You’ve been more of a man than your father ever was. And you show me daily the type of husband and father you’ll be to someone. You’re my greatest accomplishment.

I’ve been coming here for years. I used to help my uncle deejay, and when I wasn’t in the booth, I was in the rink. I’ll hold your hand the entire time.

wish I was as optimistic as he is. I also never realized that writing in my journal is my own little form of therapy.

Being so close to my dream but not being able to go for it would break my heart. I haven’t had the time or energy to put into anything really, outside of work, family, and now Danielle.

started to feel it after prom and her graduation—it was like once she walked across that stage, she decided to step into her new life, and my presence just didn’t fit anymore.

Last night I almost had my first kiss with Prince and I was surprised at how comfortable I was becoming with him. He made me feel so at ease in his arms while we were skating, and I wasn’t ready to pull away.

Ummm, hi, Prince,” she says shyly. Hi, Dani. Be my girlfriend. Have my babies.

I forget that we’re outside, that it’s cold, that the coffee shop served us lava hot chocolate. All I care is that Dani’s fingers are around my neck and her tender lips are taking over mine, causing every muscle in my body to buckle under her touch.

strut into school on Monday like I just won the lottery. You can’t tell me nothing. I got my first kiss from Dani—that soft, gentle kiss. I didn’t think I could possibly like her more, and here we are.

I needed space to get my shit together. To be a better man for myself, and hopefully one day a better man for you.

was the intimate ways I connected with her—us alone in her basement, me silently sneaking skates into her locker, us sitting together at a bookstore—where I saw her fall for me. I came in trying to win her over, and she came in and changed my entire path. The best love I could possibly give

And what Danielle brought to my life, man. She never gave up on me. She never accepted my impulse to settle. She saw beneath my complacency and called out my jitters. She

told me to read more, and I did. Which helped me get over my own issues. She helped me understand it’s okay not to be so heroic all the damn time, and that showing your faults is okay, it only makes you human. Everything about her, everything about this, changed me. If I wanted a girl like Dani, I needed to be a better human myself. She made me grow the hell up.

My dad did it all; once he got to know my mom and what she liked, he prided himself on taking my mom places she didn’t know about, even though she was born and bred in the Motor City. He wrote her love notes with lines from his favorite poems and her favorite songs, showered her with flowers because she had a budding interest in gardening. He courted her.

On closer inspection, I realized the lettering wasn’t a logo, but an inscription: MAYA, ALICE, ZORA, TONI, ROXANE, JESMYN, DANI. A knot formed in my throat and I started shaking until I felt my mom’s strong hands behind me, gripping me upright.

machine, you hear me?” She’d given me an instrument to write my way through the gloom and toward my dream of being an author.

After that night, my anxiety deepened, and it’s been a struggle to write anything ever since.

High school is a time to grow, to evolve, and for me it feels like I’ve receded, still not being able to shake something that should be behind me. Maybe I shouldn’t be so stuck in the past. Maybe I should get over it, but no matter what I try, nothing seems to work. Even in the privacy of my room, in my own damn thoughts, maybe there is no safe haven here. As much as I love this city, maybe I won’t stop feeling like this until I’m out of Detroit, starting a new life with new people surrounding me. Building a new crew of people I can trust.

I’m feeling what you felt growing up. A caged bird. I’m crying out to everyone and to no one at all. My mind is full of rage and hurt and… noise. I can’t escape my shrieks and cries and yet I’m unable to sing a song to the people I love the most. My family. My friends.

Let’s go to my room,” I say, panting. Prince hesitates. “We don’t have to go up there.” And that’s what I love about him. His eyes are telling on himself; he wants me so bad he can’t stand it. His voice is shaky and breathless. Yet he still wants to make sure I feel safe with him. And I do.

Don’t ever think I fell for you or fell over you. I didn’t fall in love, I rose in it. I saw you and made up my mind. My mind. And I made up my mind to follow you too,’ 

Hélène était le point d'équilibre du nôtre. Tout tournait autour d'elle. La lune était notre planète. Nous étions ses deux seuls habitants.