David Brent Quotes

If at first you don't succeed, remove all evidence you ever tried.

You think you can see the light at the end of the tunnel, but it’s only some bugger with a torch bringing you more work.

Life is just a series of peaks and troughs, and you don't whether you're in a trough until you're climbing out, or on a peak until you're coming down. And that's it, you know, you never know what's round the corner. But it's all good. "If you want the rainbow you've got to put up with the rain". Do you know which "philosopher" said that? Dolly Parton. And people say she's just a big pair of tits.

If you can keep your head when all around you have lost theirs, then you probably haven't understood the seriousness of the situation.

So my motto would be, 'Be careful,'cause there's always someone ready to step into your shoes ... and do your job better ... than you ... do it.

Eagles may soar high, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

The Northern Line is black on the maps. It’s the deepest. It has the most suicides, you’re most likely to get mugged on it, and its art students are most likely to be future Bond Girls. There’s something doom laden about the Northern Line. Its station names: Morden, Brent Cross, Goodge Street, Archway, Elephant and Castle, the resurrected Mornington Crescent.

Get in here already!” David called from the room. Scarlett stepped in first as I followed behind her. Carter made sure he was last and kept his head down the whole time. The inside of the room was smaller than the prison. A round table was at the center as only one kid sat behind it on the opposite end of us. When we first passed the room, there were three kids playing cards, which meant someone was missing. David took a seat on a metal foldout chair. He pointed at the kid across the table. “That’s Brent,” he said. “And Johnny’s in the restroom right now.” Ah, the third kid was taking a bathroom break. I pulled out one of the metal chairs and offered it to Scarlett. I might’ve been a sixth grader, but I still knew how to act like a gentleman. She blushed. “Thanks.” I’m sure I blushed too because my cheeks grew warm almost instantly. I sat in the chair directly to Scarlett’s right, and Carter sat in the chair on the other side of me, making sure he was out far enough to dwell in the shadows some more. David and Brent were clueless.

7. Ricky Gervais as David Brent Only people who have seen the British Office will remember the moment when David Brent says, “I think there’s been a rape up there” in a sensitivity training seminar he is holding. As my friend B. J. Novak described it, it was such a profoundly funny moment on television that there was a paradigm shift in comedy after he said it. With the character of David Brent, Ricky Gervais guaranteed that he would live in the pantheon forever, even if he did years of terrible, mediocre stuff. (I’m not saying he will, but he could if he wanted.) He’s like Woody Allen, and the original The Office is his Annie Hall.

If your boss is getting you down, look at him through the prongs of a fork and imagine him in jail.

...Brent said, "Can it keep out whatever the fuck was in those videos?" "The company I ordered this from was fresh outta alien-proof materials.

Nicknames, are bad...names.

A 2006 study by Amy Barrett and Brent Brodeski showed that “purging of the weakest funds from the Morningstar database boosted apparent returns on average by 1.6 percent per year over the 10-year period [from 1995 to 2004].

Live fast, die old.

David Brent was driven by a desire to be famous. Michael Scott was driven by a desire to be loved.

Of special note are Nic Parkhill, Bill Whittaker AM, David Buchanan, Don Baxter, Ross Duffin, Paul van Reyk, Robert French, Anne Malcolm, Bill Bowtell, Brent Mackie, Graeme Head, Gray Sattler, Greg Tillett, Julie Bates, Kirsty Machon, Lyle Chan, Phillip Keen, Robert Griew, Sara Lubowitz, Sue Kippax AO, Terry Goulden, Reg Domingo, Nikki Lusk, Paul O’Beirne and Julie Williams. Extra special thanks to Jacki for your unfaltering support, along with Joni and Sam for your limitless love.